Legal disclaimer: The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.
Warning: NA
Author's note: Well, enjoy this little drabble rescued from a notebook where it was found while I was looking for notes on another story. Funny how that all works out.
Stacked With: Shipping Wars
Individual Challenge(s): Gryffindor MC; Hufflepuff MC; Old Flames; In a Flash (Y)
Bonus Challenge(s): N/A
Word count: 1013
Ship (Team): Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks (Technicolour Moon)
List (Prompt): NA
Pure Dumb Luck
You may not think I know the difference
But I do, but I do, but I do
I feel the gravity in between us
And you can, too, you can, too, you can, too
We don't have to hide our love away and
Both of us are gonna make mistakes 'cause
Leaning on somebody's never easy
But look at me and tell me you don't see that
-Temporary Love, Ben Platt
She breathed for the first time in months when she realized who exactly she was letting into headquarters—into the Burrow. Remus looked like he saw a ghost when he saw her.
"Hello," he said finally.
"Hi," she said with what could easily have been her last breath. He looked awful. She knew she looked awful too. Apparently, they were both going to gloss over that and pretend they didn't care.
"Can I get you anything?" Tonks said, closing the door behind him. "Molly's just upstairs, but we could get tea, coffee, food…"
He looked like he could use all of the above, a shave, and a good night's sleep. Not that she minded the stubble. God, what a stupid thing to think. Brain, think of better things, she chided the goddamned hunk of meat in her skull. For a second, at the sight of him, she felt energy hum through her veins. She was pretty sure her hair colour finally flickered from its godawful brown. If she had to guess without a mirror in sight, she'd say it was that shade of scarlet he'd once commented on a million years ago.
"I'm fine," he said quietly. "I just… need to tend to something."
She watched him stand at the sink. His hands shook too badly to unbutton his shirt.
"Here," Tonks said, getting up and reaching out. Remus turned away and she sighed. "Oh, honestly, don't be daft about it…"
She realized that he wasn't retreating out of pride at this particular moment, but rather trying to hide the scarring and scratched on his chest. The new ones, at least.
"Remus," she breathed. "What in the world?"
"I don't know. Please, don't worry about it."
"How could I not?"
"Easily, ideally. I ran out of dittany at home, and I was just dropping by headquarters to grab some quickly," he said.
"Well now that you're here, you'll have those looked at before they get worst," Dora said.
"I don't want to be trouble."
"You're not trouble."
"Dora, there's so much else to do."
"You won't be trouble, I promise, here—Molly!" Tonks called out. Remus shot her the look to end all looks, but she shrugged simply. "Molly, do you have a moment, or would it be trouble to ask you for a favour?"
Molly's voice came down from the upper floors.
"Absolutely, love, in a moment!"
Dora turned back to him; eyebrow arched. See?
"You're trouble," Remus told her.
"I am," Tonks said. "Once upon a time you said you liked trouble. Sirius always told me you were more of a troublemaker than you seemed."
"But I would never put someone I loved in a position where they might learn pain," Remus said. "God knows I know enough of it not to spread it."
He buttoned his shirt back up. Tonks watched the injuries disappear.
"I'll be fine, I've weathered worst," he said.
"Remus," she said. She took a deep breath. "When will I see you next?"
"I don't know. It depends on…"
"On the mission, yes, fine," Tonks said, shaking her head. "Look, I know. We're both doing things. But when will you stop pretending that everything about us is a pure coincidence? Can we… can we do more than bump into each other? Can I just see you one time for real…"
"I don't think that's wise."
"I'm not looking for wise. What are you, Rowena Ravenclaw reincarnate?"
He smiled for a moment before wiping the look off his face, and Tonks wanted to grab him by the front of his robes and say see? Do you see what I mean?
"Wise or kind, then," he amended.
He bowed his head gingerly. "Take care of yourself."
"You as well," Tonks said. "If not for your own sake, then for mine."
He chewed his lip and, surprising the life out of her, nodded.
He left as quickly as he'd come by. Molly came down, wiping her hands on an apron.
"What were you asking about, dear?" Molly asked. She looked around. "I could have sworn, I'd heard you let someone in…"
"It was Remus," she said mechanically.
"Ah," Molly said. She rubbed circles on Tonks' arm. "And where did Remus go?"
"Off," Tonks said quietly.
"Oh dear," she sighed. "I best put the kettle on."
Tonks slumped back down in her chair, running her hand through her hair.
"I'm not asking for much," she said. "I mean, it's… I just want to be close to him. God, that's pathetic."
"It's not," Molly said, dropping a plate of biscuits on the table. "But for people like Remus who have been alone a long time—don't give me that look, you know I think his position is ridiculous. But you're asking for a lot when you're asking for something, he doesn't personally see value in."
Tonks sighed. She'd been in this kitchen with Molly often enough to have heard this often enough before.
"Why did I have to pick such a rational one, Molly?" Tonks said. "Painfully rational, might I add."
"Well, sweetheart—and don't take this the wrong way—but Kingsley is still convinced that you can't do worst than your usual taste in men," Molly said.
"I'll murder him in training one day and it'll look like an accident," Tonks grumbled. "Not that he's wrong. Fuck, he's right. God, I wish I could move on from him like the rest…"
But part of her still hoped that they would bump into each other again soon. Until then, glimpses and chance and pure dumb luck would have to suffice. And Tonks was well aware that this was not going anywhere.