!!!!!!!!!!!THIS IS A SCENE FROM THE LARGER WHOLE. A PREVIEW, IF YOU WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's note and stuff: Yup. This is a scene from a larger story (in the larger story, we find out WHY Remus wants Sirius to kiss him, and how things go afterwards. You know, all the dramatic stuff.) I just felt like getting it up while my brothers weren't lurking. I guess if people like this I'll pursue the larger story. Actually, I think I'll be pursuing it regardless. Just, not for awhile.
"I want you to kiss me," he said slowly and deliberately, in answer to my questioning stare.
"W-what?" I asked, as my carefully composed facade began to crumble. I had been building up a resistance to Remus for the last couple of months now. However, it was becoming more and more ineffective as the werewolf became alarmingly adept at breaching my defenses. My eyes darted around the dorm as I looked for some excuse to deny Remus' request. There wasn't much help around Peter's bed and mound of clothes, and James' Quidditch bedecked wall was hardly useful. "Why?" I finally muttered, pretending not to notice how high my voice was.
"Well, you like blokes," Remus said matter-of-factly.
'Yeah, and the only reason you know is because you beat it out of me. Verbally and emotionally, anyway. Damn wanker,' I thought back in annoyance.
"Yes, but..." I managed to intelligently verbalize.
"So, logically, you'd be the best person to help me," he raised an eyebrow at me, as if this wasn't a big deal. I guess it wasn't. Not in the great scheme of things. But to me, this was life altering. Stupid werewolf.
"But, Remus, I've never actually . . . kissed a bloke, yet," I had to swallow a few times before confessing this. In fact, I'd reverted back to the females. There was comfort in familiarity, even if there wasn't much satisfaction to be found.
Now both of his eyebrows shot up, before he exclaimed in surprise: "What?! But, you told me you fancied boy's ages ago!"
"Yes, I know," I spat, rather defensively, as my mounting frustration got the better of me.
Remus immediately sobered at my tone. He was too perceptive for his own good. I blamed it on his furry little problem. He caught whiff of things he shouldn't way too often.
"Why not, Sirius?" He scooted closer to me on the bed, in an attempt at comfort. We both ignored how the springs groaned in protest to the shifting of his weight. My eyes once again scanned the room. The window was closed against the pouring rain, the closet was silently rejecting me with its closed door, and the candles were all merrily burning away. Nothing needed my assistance.
"I don't know," I finally mumbled sullenly. His close proximity was beginning to distract me. I desperately wished Peter or James would burst into the dormitory to save me from this situation.
"Yes, you do," he said patiently, as he leaned his face in, in an attempt to catch my gaze. Little did he know that this compassionate action made me ready to pounce. On him, in case you hadn't gathered that.
I let my head hang lower, so I wouldn't have to face his piercing stare before continuing.
"I guess . . . I guess I'm just waiting for the right guy," I said with a half-hearted shrug. Dear Merlin, if James had heard me at that moment, he would have thrown a shoe at me and told me to stop being such a bloody poof.
"Oh. I understand, Sirius," Remus assured me, before sitting up straight again. Moony wasn't James. He understood that I wasn't just some horny teenager, even if everyone else was convinced that my still-standing reputation with the ladies was rather incriminating to my character.
"Mmhmm," I muttered in a noncommittal manner. Just once I wished he wouldn't be so bloody understanding. That he would have teased me, so I could pick a fight and end this damn tension. But, no. Not Moony.
"Well," Remus mused, "I've changed my mind. I don't want to steal your first kiss." The werewolf stood up and began heading for the common room, with what I presumed to be a blush of embarrassment painting his cheeks. I suppose I can't really blame him for thinking that I would have some experience, instead of being being so pathetically inept.
My relief at his imminent departure was soon replaced by panic, as I realized the amazing chance I was allowing to walk away. Sirius, you fool! I thought, stop him! "Remus!" I said, a bit too frantically. I composed myself before continuing. "Remus. Wait. It's . . . okay. I don't mind it being you."
His eyes widened again, before he sat back down. "Sirius, really, it's okay . . . "
In an attempt to regain my bravado, I waved away his words as insignificant. "Honestly, Moony, it's not that big a deal." It took me a minute to realize I'd just begun what was soon to be an epic arsehole rant. That's about the time my brain started to scream at my mouth to shut up. Sadly, those two anatomical features of mine have never worked well together.
"Oh . . . "
"I mean, it's been, what? Six months? It might as well be you." Merlin, I'm an idiot. I mean, come on, how big of a git did I look like in that moment?
"Sirius," Remus said disapprovingly, as a frown began to crease his forehead. Now you've gone and offended him. Sirius, you are a Mo-ron, I thought to myself in disgust.
I cut him off. I could feel my chance slipping away, and I had to snatch it back. "Well, after half a year, a bloke gets pretty desperate," I continued frantically, watching the stupidity of my words reflect themselves back at me through Remus' reaction. Just start hitting your head against the wall now, you damn idiot.
He was outright scowling now, and beginning to lean away. Now I really was desperate. At least, desperate enough to finally take some drastic measures. So, I did what I do best and acted on instinct.
Following the course of his body, I leaned in as he leaned back, and finally ended up on top of him. On a nice, comfy bed, too . . .
Now, despite popular belief, I am not that horny. So, no, I did not become instantly hard due to our interesting positioning. My face just became rather flushed.
Now our gazes were locked rather intently. I didn't really know what to do, and Remus certainly wasn't encouraging me. He just looked at me in a somewhat bland, yet challenging manner. I'd kill to know what he was thinking, then.
After simply laying there and staring into his eyes, I finally decided that action would be prudent. Seeing as how if I didn't do anything, that my brain would withdraw and once again allow my body to take over . . . As it was, it was already too much, being literally on top of him. Honestly, I may not be a sex-fiend, but certain positions are rather difficult to go unnoticed. I really, quite desperately, want him. I leaned down slowly, maintaining eye contact until our lips were only an inch apart.
Finally, I let my eyes slide shut, and savored the feel of him beneath me, before closing the gap and hesitatingly brushing my lips against his.
It was just a whisper of contact, but it made my body go nuts. My muscles clenched, my stomach did somersaults, and I couldn't breathe. I froze, terrified of what I would do if I continued.
"Sirius," Remus murmured against my lips, "you don't have to do this."
I opened my eyes to meet his once more, shivering at the sensations coursing through me as his words caused his lips to move against mine.
"Remus," I breathed, "I want it to be you," I willed him to understand this with my eyes.
He did. Remus took the final step by pressing his lips against mine.
That undid me. I think he intended the kiss to be chaste, but I was far past the point of rational thinking.
I pressed my body against his and devoured him.
I almost whimpered when I felt his hands flutter against my back, before they stilled and pressed down. It took all my willpower to keep my own hands clutching the sheets, instead of burying them in his hair.
When I allowed my tongue to slip into his mouth, and felt him respond with his own, I knew it was time to stop. After all, I didn't want him to view the situation later and accuse me of taking advantage, or something. My logic was a bit out of wack, then. I should have just seduced him.
After a few seconds of my mind warring with my body, I managed to throw myself off him. Literally. I hit the floor with an 'oof".
We both lay there, panting, for at least a minute, before Remus broke the silence with a chuckle.
"I only meant for it to be a peck, Padfoot," he said with a smile.
"Yeah, well, you started it," I retorted, rather brilliantly, if I do say so myself. My mind was still whirling with the heat of Remus, and I was hardly capable of formulating a rational response.
He rolled over, grinning. "I'd say I did your first kiss justice, don't you think?"
"Mmm," I said, while I savored the tingling sensations still assaulting my lips. "Wait, what?" Really, you'd think I'd pay more attention to what he's saying than what he just did.
"I said, Pads, that I bloody well put up a good show for your first kiss, right?" he said in a mock-annoyed manner.
I laughed delightedly, despite being a little put-out at his declaring it to be only for show. "Quite thoroughly, actually. You know," I said with a grin (I was about to push my luck), "if you're that good at kissing, then I can just imagine how you are at everything else. You might just be my first for everything."
He threw a pillow at me.