"Hey."
No.
"Hey."
Nap. Must.
"Hey."
Must. Nap.
"Are you alive?"
Unnngh. WhathaFAC…
I peeked open an eye, doing my best to send every amount of pure hatred towards the blurry woman leaning over me. Crouching. Over me. Right next to me.
Wait. What?
"Hey! Look who finally woke up."
"…wha-" I stopped, opening both eyes and immediately squinting at the suns descending rays of light. My voice…it –hurt? Or just –so dry and raspy. As if I hadn't consumed any form of liquid for decades. What the fuck is going on?
"You do realize you're lying in the middle of the street right? Do you have some sort of medical issue or something…"
I cleared my throat, deciding it be best for me to just ignore the annoying woman and figure out what the hell I was doing sleeping on cement.
"Should I call an ambulance maybe?"
Deep breath, inhale and exhale.
First came the arms, lifting them with strain and sliding them upwards, slowly propelling myself up. Jesus. Why the hell am I so sore? I sitting up now, observing the empty street. Not exactly an urban area. Rural would be a better description.
"Um. Can you hear me miss?"
Oh ya. Forgot her.
I nonchalantly looked towards her squatting position, rubbing at my face in an attempt to rid of the sweat-clinging dirt. "Listen la-"
And then my throat went dry. And –my heart. Did it…waht? Seriously, damn I can't feel –can't control the heat flushing up towards my cheeks?
"Hi," she smiled, exposing a perfect set of pearly-white teeth. "Did you enjoy your nap?"
"…umbffYES!" I shuffled up, scuffling to catch my balance at the new feeling of my wobbling knees. "Absolutely," I finally got to say, knowing well that I was visibly shaking at the amount of energy put into keeping my body standing.
She kind of just looked at me weirdly, standing from her crouched position and looking me over suspiciously. Damn it she's taller than me. "Did you get drunk or something?"
"Dr-drunk?" Did I? I don't…think so…
"Ya. Y'know, the excess consumption of a beverage titled as "alcohol". Sound familiar?"
"Um. No?"
She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, crossing her arms as if scolding a misbehaving child. "Are you sure?"
Well why does she even care in the first place? "Ehm…yes?" I pretended to look as if in deep thought, raising a hand to rub my chin. "Ya. Yup. Pretty sure I didn't get drunk. I do however happen to have one hell of a killer headache."
"Headache huh? Sounds like a hangover ~…" And even though her sing-song voice was layered with obvious tease, it didn't stop from revealing its beautifully soothing tune.
"N-No I'm serious. I'm…ya I'm one hundred percent sure I didn't get drunk. I think…I might've –someone…ow ow…" I rubbed my head, unexpectedly feeling really tired all of a sudden.
"Hey," and suddenly she was invading my personal space, stepping casually into my usually well-crafted barriers and taking a closer look at my face. I could feel her heat coming wafting over me, the smell of sweet strawberries following after as her hair came over shoulders while trying to get a better look at my ducked face. "Let me take a look."
"Ugh –no no I'm…"
…fuUck it hUURTs…
"C'mon now." I flinched involuntarily, not expecting the feeling of someone else's hands atop mine. They were soft, gentle and tender. As if she could sense the sudden waves of nausea that were now flooding through my nerves. Not really strong enough to resist her actions, my hands were lowered, soon released. And before I could comprehend the fact that the thoughts of disappointment were close to being formed, her hands came to cup the sides of my chin, lifting it up and forcing me to stare into that piercing azure gaze.
Hot damn…
"Your eyes are dilated. Do you feel any signs of fai-"
"Yes," I barely managed to breath out. And the moment was shattered. "Ung-" I broke out from her grip, coming down to clutch my stomach. Oh my god why does this hurt so muuuuch?! "It…damn it –"
"Oh no," I vaguely heard her sigh. In fact, now that I'm observing this, it was getting fairly hard to hear anything. Let alone concentrate on anything. I think I might've lost…my footing or something? Did I just….
…
…
"Y'know," I wasn't really comprehending anything anymore, more of just suddenly coming onto realization of…stuff…junky funky lunky tunky crunky…
"Here," I felt the some sort of pressure come under my legs and all of a sudden –I couldn't feel the cement on my shoeless feet, and the word spun for a second until I had an upside down view of a nearby building. But…that's not possible? Right? It could only mean that…that…oh no…
I immediately began flailing my arms and legs around. "The poles switched! The south and –and north poles switched! The snow's coming! The apocalypse! Hide your babies and f-fish! Kiss your crush before it's too late!"
"Hey –hey!" And then something came under my lolling head, lifting it up and suddenly allowing my gaze to come upon that highly attractive angel-of-a-copy façade. "I'm going to need you to calm down miss."
Two and two was put together, and I came to realize that she was carrying me. Bridal style, with one arm tucked under my knees and the other under my neck. Jesus, this girls really really strongggg. Or maybe I'm just light. Or maybe –she's a secret wrestler –sent by God himself –disguised as an angel –
"Yur preeeetttyyy…"
Did I say that? No no, it mUSt've been the faIRY GOD MOTHER'S blubbering Santa Clause! Cuz I…ahm a total badass.
"Thaanks…" I watched her through flickering lids, grinning in a probably stupid way as her face was transformed into a flushing mess as she quickly looked away. And then she was walking, bouncing me up and down and permuting a "weeeee" as I was shaken lightly up and down. The sound of a car door was heard, and I was promptly shoved into her shoulder as she leaned over to lay me down on the leather seating.
Wait. I peered up to find the door shut with a "thump", her figure disappearing for a fraction of a second, only to quickly reappear as the front door was opened.
Am I–*gasp* – being abducted by one hell of a sexy woman?
Sexy.
Woman.
Sexy.
Pretty.
Gorgeous red head.
Tis' the season to be jolly.
La la la la la la la la la~
"Yes!" and I practically hit my fist on the car door in a weak attempt at triumph. "Sexy lady! I give…I givez you permissionz to kidnappz me!"
From the front seat now she turned to look back, her perfect red hair following in a perfect perfect perfect "swish swish" way. Like, the hair commercial ways. Because –their sexy too and all. And I, like, get jealous of them all the time. Like, 24/7. Tots jelly. Jelly. Jelly-fish. He he.
"…othing to worry about. Alright?"
"…"
What an adorable smile.
"Alright?" she repeated, nodding her head and I'm guessing waiting for me to say something back to her.
"It's never polite to speak with your mouth open," I vaguely heard my mother say. This thought, I decided the same circumstances applied to my situation. Never speak when you're lying down. Right? Because…that would be rude. And –and rude people…go to jail? Yes. They get punched right into a jail cell. And I don't want to go to jail. Cuz if I did, then that. Would. Suck.
Suck.
My dick.
Wait. I don't have one. ShIT. Analogy gone to waste.
"Uhgng…" I began to sit up, using my elbows prop myself up. Almost at once there was a squelching shock in my torso, sending waves of electric shots of heat through my stomach and I threw my head back in a reaction pain in shock. What the flabbin' fuck? My midsection felt like it was about to tear itself apart! "Fuck…" was all I managed to breath out as another jolt of needles tore through my ribs. And. And. And. And. And. And.
And!
I said fuck! I didn't –I wasn't trying to…
…I was rude! I'm gonna go to jail!
"I'm sorry!" I felt my voice tear out. "I-I'm so so so sorry!" And now I was sobbing, by vision already becoming bleary from the flowing fluid. "Please don't take me to jail! Please! Pleea-e-e-e-e-eaaase!"
"What?!" I heard a voice scream. "What the hell are you talking about!?"
Oh god she's going to take me to jail. No no no no. The people –I'm too young. I'll never be able to survive! My grandma's husband will…totally rip me apart in there! Fucking fuckly natta!
"Stop the ca-a-a-ar! Stop it! Just leave me behind! The food is d-d-disguuuusting! Mush a-and gush! P-plus…my grandma's hubbie haaates me! I don' wanna go to jail! I don' wa-"
Then I stopped.
And threw up.
And everything went dark.
/
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/
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"Hey."
I took in a deep gulp of air at once, then preceding to snap open my eyes and spring upwards. "WhA THa hell!?" Got hit by a car. "What the hell!" In a hospital. "What the hell?" Killer killer headache. "Whaaat the hell."
"Hi! I'm Chloe! And you should really lie back down!"
"Excuse me?"
A second passed before I began to feel it. A piercing throb in my stomach, immediately leading me to give out a pathetic groan and clutch at it. Then my head, and my arm –and y'know what I'm just going to lay back down now.
"What happened?" I asked, or more of growled through clenched teeth. "I –oh god –everything hurts right now."
"Well," I glanced through the corner of my eyes over at her, and was she blushing or something? Nah. Probably the reflection of her hair. "I kind of found you passed out in the middle of the road…"
"Ugh –fuck." Now I remembered it clearly. "Stupid inconsiderate shitty people…"
"…and drove you to the hospital in the latter of the moment. A very interesting –ehm…experience."
"Ya?" I tried turning my head to actually look at her, but ended up clutching desperately at the sheets in an attempt to hold back a yelp. "C-cool. Very –"
The world went black.
Again.
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"Hey."
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"Hey.
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"Hey."
(Who the fuck isthisIDIOt of a person to interrupt my sleep?)
"Wha'dya want?" I grumbled, swatting away at the hand poking at my cheek. "Lee'me alone…"
"Beccaaa…"
"…m-m…"
"Beeeeccaaaa…"
"…mmm-mmm…"
"Beeeeeeeecccaaa…"
Wait. Whos voice is this? Jesse's never sounded this…girlish?
"…who?..." with a bit of wincing, I was able to turn onto my side to be immediately greeted by the sight of a grinning red heads façade. Like –what the fuck right?
"Well finally! Sleeping beauty arises at last!" She stood up, my head following her up. This is when I was suddenly beginning to become accustomed to my surroundings. Wasn't I in a hospital or something? "I know the doctor said you should get a lot of rest and all –but I was so bored! Plus…" she pointed to the bed I was currently occupying. "You're in my bed."
I blinked.
Twice.
Then thrice, now rubbing them and stretching them wide.
"…what in god's name are you talking about? And where –where the fuck am I? And who are you!?"
"I'm Chloe!" And she said it with the brightest, happiest voice that could possibly be summoned among the people of this world. As if those two words spoken would be the judgment of her entire future to come. "Your current location would be the Bella's household, or more specifically –my room!"
"…that's…nice." Seriously, it was really hard to not say anything else but that. "So –how did I get here? And why does it feel like I got really really really drunk? Did I –oh shit. Did we…" I broke eye-contact with her, slapping my hand to the side of my face. "Did we have sex? Oh fuck thisisreallyawkward!"
"Oh my," and I peered up at her chuckling grin with a burning red face. Talk about embarrassing. "No we didn't have sex sweetie~. You got hit by a car, broke a couple of ribs, and got one hell of a concussion."
…
Still ending her sentence with that same sweet filling smile of course.
"Oh –okay." For realz though, what is it you want me to say? Sounds like a pretty legitimate explanation. Plus, that would explain all the aching in my body. "So…what am I doing in your room again?"
She smiled even wider, even having the nerve to throw in a wink. "Oh I just pulled a few strings here and there, faked a bit of identity and seduced a couple of security guards."
"Wait –you kidnapped me?"
"Weeelll," she looked up innocently. "I wouldn't put it like that…"
I gave her a dead up stare, raising an eyebrow and glaring at her further. "You kidnapped me."
"Well it's not my fault! No wallet, no purse, no phone! How was I supposed to get your number? And plus, I was getting pretty bored waiting at the hospital for you to wake up."
"…so you kidnapped me..." Yes. I was having some trouble wrapping my head around my current situation. "…because you were bored and wanted my number."
A smirk. "Sure. If that's how you'd like to see it."
"Huh."
"You don't seem as freaked out as I thought you'd be."
"Eh, it's internal."
"Oh."
"…"
"Your dad also came to visit you every day."
"…that's cool."
"Yup. Had to snatch you up on one of his designated lectures times."
"…wow.'
"Ya."
"…"
"…"
"Um, now what?"
And the same bright smile, spreading its infectious glow throughout the room, if possible bringing an even higher intensity of light from the morning sun rays. And her kindling stare, bringing a crawling shiver across my spine. I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was wearing clothes that didn't belong to me. Different shirt. Different pants. Different –bra?
"May I have your number?"
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Delusional Beca = Me hunched over at my laptop and chuckling sinisterly while I type.
*no shame*
Please, review. I want to hear the other weird people out there that would have the buoyancy to even enjoy on this story. Share your strangeness with me. Cuz I've totally been high off of coffee for the past couple of hours.
.-.