Hiroki remembered the day he'd gotten eyeglasses very vividly.
He'd been trying to ignore reading headaches for the better part of a year now, and had been unconsciously encroaching upon seats closer and closer to the front of the lecture hall. When he finally caught himself squinting out of one eye while scanning the pages of his textbook, he begrudgingly admitted to himself that enough was enough, and scheduled an appointment with the eye doctor. Sure enough, later that same day he found himself at the eyeglasses store, setting a new pair of rectangular, black frames on the bridge of his nose.
He'd initially been irked by the idea. Who could really say they wanted glasses, after all? They were just one more thing to keep track of, and a little uncomfortable to wear every day. However, the moment he raised the glasses to his face and peered through the lenses, he felt annoyance immediately give way to a profound, moving sense of relief. He could suddenly see.
Later, Hiroki realized the experience of getting glasses was his most poignant analogy for coming to terms with his homosexuality.
For years, he hadn't understood that he was seeing the world differently—harboring a fierce protectiveness and admiration towards Akihiko, a secret frustration at never feeling any interests in the attentions of the girls in his classes, and the impulse (though he'd never admit it) to simply be held and comforted by a strong, confident presence when everything caught up with him.
Did he want to be gay? Of course not. But, with the right mindset, it was only a mild inconvenience. The moment he admitted to himself that he was exclusively attracted to other men—suddenly, lots of moments of his life that had been unclear seemed to fall into place. He could suddenly see.
He might carp and complain, but in all reality, his world with glasses was greatly preferred to that without. Not to mention, as Nowaki liked to remind him, wearing glasses suited him. They had become an integral part of his scholarly image and professional persona. Hiroki smiled when he thought about this. If Nowaki was part of the deal, then perhaps being gay suited him, too.