PLUMERIA RUBRA
"HINO?" CALLED THE TEACHER in front, hand poised to check the attendance sheet. When none answered, he looked up and peered through the sea of students before him.
"She's absent today, sensei," Mio said, glancing at the empty seat where her friend is supposedly situated.
"Again?" furrowed brows looked over at the voice who answered for the absentee. "This is the third time this month. She should know better."
Mio wished she hadn't said anything as the consequences of her friend's actions were starting to alarm their homeroom teacher. Her eyes moved from her friend's empty chair to the chair beside it. It, too, was unoccupied.
# # #
The slight rattling of the train sent Kahoko to partially rock in her seat, waking her up from her sleep. She gave her phone a brief look to check the time. Twenty minutes had gone by since she boarded the train. A sigh left her lips and her eyes pulled away from her phone as she directed them on the window in front of her.
She barely recognised her own reflection; visible eye bags lingered just above her pale cheeks and tangled scarlet tresses fell softly on her shoulders. She ran her fingers through the red strands and her upturned mouth curled into a smile. The train slowed down and she stood to take her leave. Weaving her way through the crowded station did not erase the beam on her face. She welcomed the morning with a refreshed character as she made her way to where he was.
Kahoko was so caught up with the good news that she did not mind the tedious deed of travelling on foot, which she resented every time she dropped by to visit him. Once she rounded the corner, the subtle yet familiar fragrance of the falling white flowers from the front garden met her. So enticed was her sense of smell that she stopped for a moment to take in as much as she could before strolling inside the building.
The sterilised scent of the hospital always made her feel tad bit queasy; but just like before, all thanks to the good news, this, too, she did not mind. She skipped towards the receptionist whose eyes lit up upon seeing her approach the desk.
"Hino-san," the receptionist acknowledged, grabbing a clipboard and scanning the paper attached to it. "Good timing." She nodded then continued, "He just woke up a few minutes ago."
"Really?" she said, excitement running through her veins. "I better not make him wait then."
"Yes, of course," smiled the receptionist. "Go ahead."
She waved at the nurse and left the post to get to his room. With a couple of knocks on the door and a permission issued from within, she slowly opened and saw him sitting on the bed; a broad smile on his lips as she entered and closed the door behind her.
"How are you feeling?" no matter how many times Kahoko asked him this, she felt it still wasn't enough. She took the chair beside his bed.
"Much better," he said, not removing his eyes from her face. "How about you?"
"Great." Kahoko held the threatening tears back. She doesn't want to ruin the moment. "I'm just glad you're doing better now, Kaji-kun."
Aoi stretched out his hand towards her which she instantly took and squeezed to make sure she was not dreaming.
"Me too," Aoi said softly.
To hear him say those words felt like a heavy weight was lifted off her chest. She closed her eyes and grazed the back of his hand on her cheek, sending the halted emotions she tried restraining a while ago to flow in the form of warm tears down her face.
"Sorry for worrying you this much," he croaked, gently pulling his hand to cup her face instead, just in time to wipe a fresh teardrop.
"No . . . please don't blame yourself," she said, giving him a concerned look.
Aoi stared back at her and felt his own eyes tremble. Kahoko noticed his shaking emeralds and quickly cupped his face, waiting for the tears to fall. But they came not. His thumb, however, made its way down to her lips which partially parted in response. On impulse, his hand beckoned for her to lean forward as his eyes cautiously moved from the windows of her soul down to her lips. Her eyes went half-closed and . . .
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
The sudden inquiry pulled the two back to reality and apart from each other. They turned to the door and saw the doctor—clipboard in arm and a nurse at his heels—standing and smiling at the two.
"No!" Kahoko blurted out, leaving her seat and repositioning herself next to the window. "Not at all."
"Ojisan," Aoi cried, glaring at the doctor. "You could have knocked first. Look what you did." He jerked his head towards Kahoko and said, "You scared Hino-san."
"Sorry," he said, taking the seat where Kahoko sat a few seconds ago. "I didn't mean to, Hino-san."
"It's all right," she said, trying not to blush from what could have happened.
Kahoko looked over as the doctor consulted Aoi who nodded and shook his head at the questions his uncle threw at him. Her attention then went from the two to the nurse at the corner. She appeared to be busy tinkering with something from the tray she brought in with her. Just as Kahoko was about to take a step forward and poke her nose at the nurse's business, she let out a tiny squeal when the nurse had suddenly turned on her heel.
She was holding a syringe which she held high and far enough to see the quantity of liquid inside before tapping it lightly. Kahoko felt a lump form in her throat and, slowly, made it glide down. She took a deep breath, tore her eyes away from the needle and on to the window and beyond.
A tree stood almost an arm away from her with its white flowers in full bloom. It was the same tree that was planted near the entrance. The whole place was surrounded by it. She opened the window just a little to take in some of the alluring scent she came to love.
"Would you like to take a stroll with me?" Aoi's voice interrupted her.
"Will that be okay?" She turned, looking quite alarmed to see him getting off the bed.
"Of course," he said firmly. "Let me just get my jacket."
"Let me," Kahoko offered, walking over to the coat hanger.
"Thank you," Aoi said as she helped him with his jacket.
Aoi could have been mistaken for a regular visitor or a staff in training if it were not for the white outfit he wore. Almost everyone knew him and whenever he met a patient, a nurse, or doctor, they end up smiling and greeting him warmly. There are also times when he would volunteer to help some of the lady nurses, who seem to struggle with some of the patient's weight, to push the wheelchair. And Kahoko was always there by his side whenever he asked for a walk around the place, even though inside she felt it wasn't good for his health.
"How long will you be staying here?" she asked as they sat down on one of the concrete benches in the garden.
"Ojisan wants to guard my health for a whole month," he said gloomily, watching some of the flower descend slowly from the branches.
"A month," Kahoko repeated. "Well, it's not that long. Besides most of the people here know you, so I'm sure they could entertain you while I'm not around."
Aoi shook his head. "They're only like that because my family owns the hospital."
"No," she snapped back. "I think it's because Kaji-kun is really kind and will help anyone in need even though he's unwell himself." She frowned at the last part but quickly added to ward the thought away, "I bet you're going to make a great doctor . . . just like your ojisan."
"You think so?"
"I just don't think so. I know so," she said. Her hand moved over to hold his. He responded by lacing his fingers with her. "Ne, Kaji-kun."
"Yes?"
"Can I see it?"
"See what?"
"The scar from your transplant." Kahoko turned to look at him and saw his horrified face in return. She knew he would react this way but she was really eager to get a glimpse of it.
"You're joking," he said helplessly. "Right?"
"No, I'm not," she said. "Can I please see it?"
"But it's ugly," he warned her, averting his eyes from her but undoing one of the strings that held his upper outfit.
"I don't care."
The cloth came loose and Kahoko scooted on her seat for a better view. On his chest was the stitches he bore from the surgery he had a few weeks prior. Her fingers gently traced them to feel the small bumps and dents on his smooth skin. She stopped when she heard a faint whimper from Aoi.
"Did I hurt you?" Her worried look came back.
"Just a sting," he assured her, placing his hand over hers. "Don't worry about it."
"It's not that ugly," she started. "I think it's beautiful."
"Beautiful?" he chortled. "How could something like that be beautiful? I hate looking at it."
"Don't hate it," she said, giving her full attention on him. "Because this proves that the surgery went well," she explained while tying up the strings to cover him again. "And you being here can only mean that you're on the road to recovery, right?"
He smiled at her heart-warming notion that he suddenly pulled her against him. If making her feel more certain that he was finally there for her, he wanted her ears to hear the thumping of his heart.
She beamed at the sound and pressed her head squarely on his chest. A broader smile stretched across her lips when she felt his arms wrap themselves around her protectively.
# # #
Weeks went by and Kahoko was finally able to make no more absences, though coping up with the previous lessons she missed was a hassle, she managed to do good in the end. But her visiting Aoi five times a week have contributed to her habit of falling asleep in her afternoon classes.
"Are you going to visit him again?" Mio asked, bell ringing overhead.
"Of course," she said casually, stuffing her notebooks as quickly as she can.
"But, Kaho," Nao started, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at her friend, "You look so pale and tired lately. You should look out for your health too, you know."
"Don't worry, I am," Kahoko said defensively, heaving her bag on her shoulder. "I take naps on the train ride there. You have nothing to worry about, okay?" She headed for the door and said, not giving her friends a quick turn, "See you tomorrow!"
For her, there were more important things than thinking about her personal health. Visiting Aoi showed positive signs that he was, indeed, recuperating from his surgery to the point that his uncle thanked her more than once for frequently dropping by.
It was sunless by the time she got to the hospital. The nurses gave her a small bow as she took the hallway leading to Aoi's room. She didn't bother knocking this time so when she opened the door, she expected him to be on his bed, wide awake and waiting for her as always; but once the door had swung itself to let her in, her heart skipped a beat.
The lights were off and his bed was empty. She moved to the centre of the room, thinking that there must be some kind of mistake. Her eyes fell towards the hanger. His jacket was not there. She felt her body go limp where her bag had slipped off from her shoulder and landed on the floor next to her.
"No," she mumbled, panic rising inside of her. "No, this is not happening."
She gulped and turned on her heel to storm out of the room, leaving her things inside. Kahoko demanded an explanation for Aoi's sudden disappearance. When her eyes finally saw a nurse exiting another ward, she gained momentum but was cut short when she felt herself being pulled into the confines of a dark, small room.
"Shhh," Aoi's voice whispered in her ear.
"What are you doing here?" She looked up and saw him grinning down at her as he closed the door. "Where are we anyway?"
"Fire exit," he said, holding her hand. "They're restricting me from going out these days. So, I hope you don't mind us going up on the rooftop instead."
She shook her head and gave his hand a squeeze. He smiled at her.
The cold wind blew nicely about when they arrived at the top of the building. The moon was full like a plate where it was suspended alongside the scattered stars above the inky black sky. Kahoko crossed the floor and planted herself near the railing, admiring the moon before turning to Aoi. He stood at the doorway, his hand on his chest.
"What's wrong?" she asked, frowning at his gesture.
"Nothing," he dismissed and ambled forward to her place. "Just another sting, probably from the stitches."
"Are you sure?" Her hand went over his arm.
"Yeah." Aoi placed his free hand over her arm. "Let's not waste this moment, please?"
Kahoko nodded and let him lead her to a spot where they could sit. He sat first on the floor, brushing off some unwanted dirt, before urging Kahoko to sit beside him. She smiled but she sat not next to him. Instead, she opted for something more comfortable; she sat in front of him, her back facing him. Aoi's arms automatically grabbed her shoulders once she was in place and, slowly, pulled her towards him. They both said nothing as their eyes went up to continue on with their star and moon gazing.
The breeze was soothing that it made Kahoko forget the rigours of her studies and the constant reminders of her friends. She was just glad that everything was starting to fall back in place, and that Aoi was doing a lot better. Soon, she thought, he'll be fit enough to resume his studies. He could catch up during summer break and she'll be there to encourage him on. And then, perhaps, things could go on further from there.
She sighed in relief as Aoi nuzzled his face against the mass of red hair before him. Kahoko giggled heartily at his action and turned to face him. His face, illuminated by the glow of the moon and the strands of his blonde hair swaying softly with the wind, made her melt from within. Her hand had unintentionally reached out to his face, fingers outlining his handsome features. Aoi's eyes closed the minute he felt her warm skin on his face. She stopped once her index finger made it on his lips; but got distracted as creases formed on his temple.
"Kaji-kun?" she called, pulling herself away and fully turning around to look at him.
"I—" he started, standing up and clutching at his chest but failed and fell forward in her arms.
"Is it the stitches again?" Kahoko supported his weight with all her might. "Tell me what's wrong."
"No. . . ." he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm . . . fine."
"No, you're not," she argued, her voice cracking. "Kaji—"
"Hino-san," he breathed. "I—"
"No!" she said hysterically. "Please don't speak! I'll go get help. Wait—"
Somehow, he had managed to grab her shoulders to steady himself with. He leaned forward, silencing her quivering lips and muffling her cries. As he pulled apart, he paid her a soft smile before collapsing entirely in her arms.
"Kaji-kun?" she said, shocked and confused. "Please hang in there."
"Kahoko," he whispered. "I love you."
# # #
The clacking of her shoes against the marble floor was all she could hear. Her eyes darted over to the red light and back to the dark end of the hallway. Familiar faces wanted to comfort her but she doesn't want any of their shoulders to lean on to. Kahoko was willing to give everything up just to feel the warmth of his body, to hear the beating of his heart and to know that he was going to be all right.
She walked away from the suffocating hallway to the lobby, where her knees gave up after sensing that she was finally alone. They slammed on the floor, causing her tears to erupt from both physical and emotional pain. Her hands soared over her eyes, the heels of her palms dug to keep tears from rolling down her face.
"Please be all right, please," she sobbed and begged repeatedly. "Kaji-kun, please be all right."
"Hino-san?"
Kahoko looked up and saw Aoi looking down, bewildered at where she was sitting. Her mouth opened in shock; but he had immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. She wrapped her arms in return as she cried on his chest.
"It's all right," he comforted, gently stroking her hair. "I'm here now."
"Don't," Kahoko choked. "Please, don't leave me again."
"I won't."
"You don't understand." She shook her head then tilted to meet his eyes. "What I wanted to say all this time—what I hoped for ever since you got sick . . . was to be with you again. . . ."
"You did?"
"Yes." She nodded. "I don't know what I'll do without you. . . . You mean so much to me." She knew that her heart was violently thumping against her ribcage and she was absolutely aware that Aoi could feel it too; but it didn't matter now. All she wanted to do was tell him how she really felt. "Aoi . . . I love you."
He cupped her face and smiled at her last statement, leaning forward to kiss her again; but this time she was aware and she kissed him back. It lasted long enough to make her weak in the knees. Kahoko then pulled away from him but he kept his hold on her.
"That's all I needed to know—to hear before I go," he whispered, leaving a light peck on her cheek. "Be strong for me."
"W-what?"
"I'll be waiting."
The warmth she felt slowly lifted off as the wind passed by. Aoi smiled at her before stepping back towards the window. She wobbled forward only to be blocked by the curtain that swayed between them. When it settled back in its place, he was gone and all she could see was her dishevelled reflection; and behind the glass were the trees and its many white flowers.
"Hino."
She spun around and saw Len, staring at her from head to toe. "How is he?"
"He—" Len started but Kahoko was already making her way towards the operating room. He caught her wrist on time. "Don't go in there."
"Why?" she barked, trying to yank her arm away from him. "I want to see him!"
"Don't," he mumbled. "For your own good."
"But he's okay. I know he is. I spoke to him," she reasoned, facing her friend. "Let me go!"
Len ignored her plea and drew her against him. "I'm sorry Hino," he began. "But his body rejected the heart."
"No . . . you're lying," she said, trying to push him off without any success. "He told me everything's going to be okay. He told me he'll be by my side. He said he'll—"
There was a short pause where she uttered something that even Len was not able to make out. But he held her tighter as her body stopped resisting his embrace. Her chest rose and sank with rapidity that he knew what was about to happen.
"No," she sobbed. "No! This cannot—No! NO!"
"I'm so sorry, Hino."
# # #
Seasons shifted and years came to pass but she knew he was always there to look after her—wherever he was.
Kahoko watched as the clusters of whites bloom from her window. A sigh left her lips as she stared at the light of the morning sun creeping in her room. She then heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," she said loud enough for the visitor to hear.
"How are you holding up?" Len came in, stopping and sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Just fine," she answered. "Is the nurse bringing him in?"
"He's right there." His gaze went to the doorway.
The nurse came in with a bundled baby in her arms. She handed the newborn to Kahoko with great care before stepping back. She then smiled at the couple who immediately took turns greeting the baby.
"Have you thought of a name, Tsukimori-san?" the nurse asked.
"Yes." Kahoko nodded.
"You have?" Len looked at his wife, surprised.
"Aoi," she said, gently ruffling the tiny patch of hair on top of the baby's head. "He has my husband's hair after all."
"Of course," agreed the nurse and left.
Len glanced once more at Kahoko who was busy crooning words of affection towards the baby. He did not dare ask for the real meaning of the name after seeing how happy she was with her decision. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he planted a kiss on her cheek. He then looked down at the baby, tenderly holding up its tiny hand.
"Welcome to the family," he greeted softly. "Tsukimori Aoi."
Note: This is a birthday gift to all the April babies out there. Happy Birthday to us!
I'm inspired by the Kalachuchi (tagalog for Plumeria) I happen to pass by, on train, as I commute from home to school.
Aoi in Japanese means blue. So I thought it makes sense that Kahoko named their child Aoi because of Len's hair colour even though we all know that's not the real reason.