Summary: She feels him pull away, hope slowly fading. She finally decides that letting go is easiest, to move on, not knowing that he didn't want to hurt her, wanted to keep his promise, wanted to tell her but couldn't. He was dying, and she couldn't know.

Timeframe: This story picks up after game ends, as if Advent Children never happened. The thing Cloud has isn't Geostigma exactly, but something like it. Hopefully that doesn't confuse people too much[Special thanks to PoutingCutie for pointing out the inconsistency! Let me know if anything else doesn't seem to fit right or bother you, I'm totally open to constructive criticism.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Author's Note: THIS STORY IS BEING EDITED AND WILL BE REPOSTED IN FRAGMENTS.Sorry to anyone who's already read this story. I tried replacing chapters but for some reason it wouldn't let me, so I just started a new story. gahh Oo

Anyways, I was recently inspired to revisit the originial and changed it a bit and am really gunning to finish this story with the proper encouragement (nudge nudge lol) I'm going to repost chapters after I go back through them. I think I might end up splitting some up into separate ones. Here's the first re-done chapter. I didn't change that much in this one, but bear with me if you've read it already! And review even if you did before b/c I had to delete the other one along with all the wonderful reviews!

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Chapter One

Marlene pretended to concentrate on her homework, while looking over at the bar discreetly. She watched as yet another man approached the counter, leaning over the bar and saying something earnestly to the young woman behind it. But just like every other time, Tifa returned him with a warm but polite smile, and a gentle shake of her ebony haired head. Marlene didn't know why she worried. She knew that Tifa was waiting for him, would never consider anyone else. If he would just get some sense into his head and stop running away. Even though she was only seven, she was observant enough to see how his absence affected her. The smile might slip, the exhaustion creep into the corners of her eyes when she thought no one was paying attention.

Bringgg! Bringgg!

Tifa put the glass she was wiping down on the counter and walked over to the phone.

"This is Seventh Heaven, Tifa Lockheart speaking."

"Tifa, it's me." Her hand tightened reflexively around the receiver.

"Cloud, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, no everything is fine…I just got held up with a delivery…I don't think I can make it home tonight."

"Oh okay," Tifa tried to sound nonchalant, even though she felt as if something had fallen inside. "Will you be able to find a place to stay for the night?" concern lacing her voice.

"I'll probably just drop by the church, it's closer and I won't wake the kids… don't wait up for me, ok Tifa?"

Tifa bit her lip, closing her eyes gently.

"Tifa, you there?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I guess I'll see you later then. Don't work yourself too hard, okay Cloud?"

"Don't worry about me, Tifa. I'll manage."

She hung up the phone with a last "goodbye."

He really doesn't need me…nothing's changed. I had thought that maybe…Tifa shook her head angrily. Forget it. I have other things to worry about.

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Everyone had left and she had sent Marlene and Denzel to bed. She wiped the bar down one last time, even though she had wiped it so many times already. Keeping her hands busy had become a habit lately.

Suddenly, her hand halted its movements.. She closed her eyes, just breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

She was tired. She was tired of holding everything inside. It took so much to be strong during the day, especially for Marlene and Denzel who where like her adopted children. She doubted whether she could do it much longer. She stopped wiping the bar down and took a glance around. All the chairs and tables were in place, surfaces clean. The counter was spotless and everything in place.

Suddenly the rows of bottles surrounding her came into focus. Her hand reached out for the bottle, stopping and hesitating a little, before finally making up its mind and grasping the chill glass.

The children are asleep. I deserve to unwind a bit, she reasoned to herself. One drink wouldn't hurt anyways.

The first shot of hard liquor went down tougher than she remembered, coughing a little when she swallowed it too fast. The burning sensation spread through her throat and settled in her stomach. Sitting herself down at a spotless table, bottle in hand, she waited for the warmth to travel to her head and help melt her thoughts away.

She loved him. That's all it came down to in the end. She had loved him for so long, and waited for the right time. It's just…the right time never came. By the time she realized it back in Nibelheim, Cloud had decided to leave their hometown and join SOLDIER. The promise he made her helped the pain of his parting, though she had never gotten to tell him how she felt.

"If I'm ever in a bind, you'll come save me okay?"

He had promised he would, and it kept her going all those years. He would be her hero. When they met each other again, the fight against Sephiroth was just beginning. It had led them closer than ever before, and they reunited to become best friends again. Friends. In lieu of the coming battle, it was enough Tifa had thought. His presence was enough to keep her bright and cheerful, her smiles keeping their group's spirits from falling too low. It was enough that she could be there for him, even if only as friends.

And then Aeris had come, and as much as she loved the flower girl, she saw instantly how Cloud was mesmerized by her. She lost him slowly to the beautiful brunette, and every day she fought harder to stay strong and unaffected. The group could always defend on Tifa's good spirits and easy laughter, she made sure of it. The night that Tifa had gathered the courage to tell Cloud how she felt, she knocked on his door only to find him gone, gone on a date with Aeris. And when they returned, Cloud shared his joy with, of course, his best friend. Tifa was nothing but supportive, happy that he was happy, being excited for him just as best friends should, and dying slowly on the inside. She had returned to her own room that night and sat on her bed, clutching her knees to her chest and trying to control the tremors that ran through her body.

The next day, the group saw Tifa as they always did, bright and cheery, beautiful in every way. And they continued their journey, Tifa right by Cloud's side to catch him if he ever stumbled, nothing but an encouraging smile on her face.

Aeris' death crushed him. Tifa cried along with everyone else, tears for Aeris's sacrifice, for who the beautiful flower girl was, and tears for Cloud. She saw how it affected him, and even after they stopped METEOR, how he might never forgive himself. It was strange, Cloud being a hero. He would always be a hero to her and to the world, but in a way, he was so weak. Vulnerable. Something people wouldn't expect from the typical hero. Then again, Cloud wasn't typical. He was Cloud, and Tifa continued to love him with all her heart, even when she realized it might not be returned, lost to a memory.

Life moved on after they saved the world. Tifa started up her bar, Seventh Heaven, and miraculously Cloud stayed with her and the kids to run the delivery service in Midgar. Those days were among the happiest in her life. Cloud would deliver packages early in the morning and return for a late dinner, after Tifa closed the bar. Marlene and Denzel helped mend her long dissatisfied heart, and Tifa loved them like a mother. She also saw how they looked up to Cloud so avidly. They were almost like a family together, and the hope of a life filled with Cloud and the kids and easy smiles filled her up inside.

Hope. What a powerful and fickle force it is. And how deceptive it was.

She hesitated, then poured herself another shot and downed it too.

Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much if the hope hadn't been so strong. She really had believed that things would work out, that they would be happy like they were, as a strange little family. That maybe, just maybe, Cloud might see the girl that had always been there and remained by his side to this day as more than just a friend. Of course, Tifa never showed any of her secretly harbored feelings right after the defeat of Sephiroth. She knew that she shouldn't think of herself at a time like this, when Cloud was still so vulnerable and unforgiving of what he let happen. Tifa never truly knew how deep the two's relationship had developed, but she could guess; she wouldn't entrench on Aerith's memory regardless, and it's wasn't as if finally confessing her love for him would solve anything besides her inner anguish; it might even do more damage than good.

So instead, she took up the role of his best friend wholeheartedly again, suppressing her feelings, never complaining. Bright and cheery. That's who she was, or at least, how people saw her. How she needed to be so they could rely on her strength. So Cloud knew he could turn to her always.

Another glass of liquor burned down her throat, warming her from the inside.

He started to come home later and later, excuses always ready. At first, the dinner got cold. Which was fine, since it could be reheated when Cloud did get back. They all didn't mind waiting a little longer to eat, since seeing Cloud come home was always worth it. When Marlene and Denzel's stomachs protested too loudly, they began to eat dinner first, but then the two were determined to stay up and wait until he got back. It was then that Tifa started to wonder. And when she found out it was her church that he was finding refuge with those late nights, the dread settled back in.

Eventually, even the ever determined Marlene and Denzel fell asleep waiting. Oh, they tried. But after a while Tifa made sure to hustle them to bed after a certain hour, not wanting to see their crestfallen faces when they got the call that he couldn't make it home that night. Those nights were hard, when the kids asked her where Cloud was. Why he didn't come home sometimes. She never let them see how hurt she was herself, hurt that something was obviously bothering him but he never thought to turn to her about it. The church was apparently where he felt the most at home, and it re-ignited the enduring resignation that he would always only think of her. But Tifa had promised herself to be strong, putting her pain away for the children's sake if nothing else, and was always there to reassure them with everlasting patience and her own love.

Another shot.

So while the children were sent up to bed, Tifa sat downstairs and waited by herself. Most often, Cloud would come in quietly sometime in the wee hours of the morning, shutting the door softly behind him. Tifa would be there to offer him something to drink or eat, knowing that he always forgot to take care of himself. He would sit down gratefully, and look out the window silently while she prepared his food.

Sometimes she fell asleep at the bar while she waited. And when she woke up in her own bed the next morning, she would temporarily be filled with a warm tingling, knowing that he had thought to carry her up the stairs and put her to bed. He was always gone by morning though. But then even that small pleasure was denied her; Cloud had told her that she shouldn't wait up for him anymore. She figured it was his way of saying that he didn't want to have to carry her to bed every night, and an excuse to not come home at all. She had gotten angry when he insisted that she go to bed first but hid it well and simply laid in bed waiting instead, listening for the click of the door and the footfalls up the stairs…the nights he did come home.

Something was bothering him; he didn't honestly think he could hide it from her, did he? After all that they had been through together, why couldn't he open up to her? It hurt so much…that maybe she just wasn't enough.

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The bottle was almost empty and her mind was fuzzy. She couldn't remember how many drinks she had downed, or the last time she got so buzzed. She stood up from the chair and had to grab the table to keep the room from swaying. You've really done it this time, she scolded herself. Just then, she heard an engine approach from far away. The sound stopped right outside the bar and she fought to keep herself steady.

I thought he said he wasn't coming home tonight, I thought he was going to—damn! Tifa dropped the glass, sending shards of glass skittering along the floor. She bent over and grasped at some of the larger pieces, wincing a little when glass bit into her palm.

The thought of him seeing her like this made her giggle a little, then become concerned. No, she couldn't let him see her like this, all silly and clumsy. She quickly put the bottle back on the shelf haphazardly and most of the broken glass in the sink just in time before the door creaked open. The heavy footfalls of boots sounded across the floor.

Mako blue eyes gleamed in the darkness, finding a figure behind the dark bar.

"Tifa?"

No response.

"Tifa?"

She stepped out from the darkness, her head bowed down a little, letting her ebony hair cover her face. "Cloud, you're back." There were plenty of other things she might have added, her tongue feeling loose with a mind of its own, but thankfully she shut her mouth quickly and tried not to see the room spinning.

"Tifa, you're bleeding!"

She looked down at her hand, saw the gash across her hand and responded with an "oh," of acknowledgement.

He walked over quickly and took her hand in his. As he studied the cut, Tifa stood still obediently, letting her eyes carelessly wander across his beautiful face. He felt her eyes on him and looked up, mako blue meeting chocolate brown orbs that sent sparks through his body. She was looking into his eyes strangely, very intently, and he swallowed nervously, still holding her hand.

Tifa continued to scan his face, not caring he was watching her and head feeling light…reckless…gaze moving from his eyes to his nose to his lips. His lips. His beautiful lips. On sudden impulse, Tifa took a step forward but stumbled, closing the small distance between them, placing her hands on his chest to catch herself. She looked up at him, warm chocolate brown eyes filling with some emotion that Cloud couldn't place, his heart beat quickening with each breath at her closeness.

"Tifa?" he said uncertainly.

Just as he moved to help her stand straight again, her soft lips pressed into his, setting off fireworks in his head. His eyes opened wide, every fiber of his mako-enhanced body tuned to her. He was too shocked to react, simply stood there and committed everything to memory, the way her lips were soft and warm against his, their curves fitting perfectly with his…the smell of her hair lingering in the air and the soft beating of their hearts in the dark silence.

Then abruptly, it ended, Tifa pulling back quickly, shaking her head as if to clear it. "I shouldn't have done that," was all she could say in a flat voice, before turning around and running up the stairs.

Cloud was left standing there, speechless.

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