title: Nothing To Lose
rating: EERRRR I don't know. Maybe like… PG-13ish? Whatever the movie was? Around there? Lil' bit worse?
summary: Growing up and finding yourself means a lot more than digging holes in the hot sun everyday.
author's notes: I too have fallen victim to the Girl-At-CGL disease. However, I am trying real, real hard to make this stay away from Mary-Suedom and make it… I don't want to say better… but just not as clichéd. I appreciate all constructive criticism on this because I want to make it bearable to read for everyone, including die hard fans of the novel. It starts before Stanley and will end where the book and movie ended, just so we're all clear. And as always, gotta love reviews that make me have a little faith in myself as a writer. xD Love you a lot for taking the time to read this when there's roughly 3408043843570 girl at cgl stories to choose from!!
ps. Please ignore the really dorky title. D
--
It was only a matter of time before someone raised equality on Camp Green Lake and got it co-ed after much, much deliberation and arguing. They said it was unfair that girls were being sent to juvie and jail and not having the opportunity for this 'camp'. The Camp initially fought it, but soon realized making it co-ed would mean some more money for expansions and what have you for the girls (because you just couldn't bunk rowdy girls and boys together) and so went for it in the end. However, nothing happened immediately. It wasn't as if there was a gaggle of female juvenile delinquents lurking behind a corner, just waiting to get sent away to a camp meant to 'reform' them. It was a very, very slow process that started with one lone girl.
Judy realized her entire camp experience was going to be a struggle the further the bus drove into the vast… emptiness of this supposed 'Camp'. All she was seeing was vast nothingness of dirt in a horrible, horrible sunbaked hell. That was really what throwing her… all the sun. She was a pasty little thing and did not fare well in the sun. But honestly, the hundreds of holes as they pulled in were a bit unsettling as well. What kind of camp was this? The bus came to a stop in what looked like a little ghost-town-turned-ghetto-camp and she tentatively got up, slinging the dufflebag she'd brought with her over her shoulder. This… was it. This was it. Here she was going to spend… what was it? The next year? That wasn't so bad. She could tough it out.. maybe. With a deep breath, Judy steeled herself and walked off the bus, the bus driver following after her. He lead her into a stuffy office where she was greeted to the back of a chair. She stood silently, confused and awkward. Finally a man turned the chair about with various papers in his hand, looking at her through beady little eyes that made her lip curl a little.
"Judy Golan, hm? Welcome to Camp Green Lake. My name is Mr. Sir."
"Mr. Sir?" she repeated incredulously, thinking perhaps he was joking. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Did I stutter?" he asked sharply and Judy decide that no, there was no chance of not suckage here. She shook her head. "When I talk to you, you will call me by my name. That is all. Lemme see your bag, kid." Stiffly, she handed him her duffel bag and he shook out the majority of her clothes, leaving her with under garments and some tank tops here and there, maybe a t-shirt or two. He took almost everything else, including books to read and the swimsuit she'd packed, among other things. She opened her mouth to protest but a sharp glance from him shut her up. She vaguely registered the excited shouting of someone outside as he gave her two astoundingly ugly orange jump suits. "You have two of these. One for work, one for relaxin'. On the third day you wash your work one, it becomes your relaxin' one and the relaxin' becomes the work on. You get shower tokens to save our water and you are expected to be up and out of bed on time. Since you're a," he looked her up and down briefly with disgust. ".. girl and all, you ain't allowed in the boy's tents. You also ain't allowed near the boy's shower area. You can go get changed into your clothes and get acquainted with the camp. You're in A Tent for Girls, got it? Not boys."
Judy nodded quietly, fighting the urge to roll her eyes or sigh about his emphasis on staying away from the boys. Really, it wasn't like she was itching to jump every male she saw. Taking what was left in her bag and her shower tokens (the thought of only showering with those tokens made her cringe. She was used to showering every day!) and her… new clothes, she stepped out of the dingy little office and into the scorching sun, only to be greeted by a crowd of anxious looking young men. Judy was startled, and not in that pleasant way that made you feel important either. Rather, it was in a way that made her feel creeped out and like she was on display. The boy's faces, sweaty and dirty, stared at her in awe until one boy in the front broke the silence.
"Man, she ain't even pretty."
Judy's heart dropped. While it didn't really matter to her what these boys thought of her as she had no intention of hopping on any of them, she was still hoping what they thought her would stay just that: thoughts. Hearing it aloud made her feel a little sick. The rest of the boys nodded their agreement and muttered, wandering off and mumbling things like 'chicken legs' or 'jew nose' under their breath angrily. Cheeks flushed, she adjusted her bag and set off in no particular direction, just trying to avoid coming into contact with the shallow boys again.
Alas, no such luck.
A particularly tall one jogged up next to her and opened his mouth to speak, but she simply sped up in an attempt to ditch him. "Hey, hold up, string bean," he said, his southern drawl prominent, and chased after her again. "You're the first girl here in… well, ever. Whatcha doin' trying to scurry on off like that?"
"I'm going to my tent," she said simply, trying to end the conversation there.
"D'ya even know where your tent is at?" he asked with an amused chuckle. Before she had a chance to answer, yet another male swung into stride with them, answering before she could even get words out.
"'Course she don't, she just got here," he said and she could practically hear the smirking grin in his words. "Unless you got some super smart map-makin' brain in that frizzy little head of yours." The second male reached out and ruffled her dark curls, to which she pulled her head away from but tried still to ignore them.
"Aw, now you're just bein' mean," said the first male, who she still had not looked at. "Really, do you know where you're going? 'Cause you're not walkin' in any particular way."
Judy finally gave in and stopped, turning to look at the two boys walking behind her. Both came to a stop, trying to look innocent and failing with the least innocent grins she'd ever seen in her life. They were around the same height, though one had a once-white baseball cap on over his short, brown hair and the other had wild blonde frizz sticking up like in a fashion that reminded her vaguely of lightning bolts. "No," she said with a sigh. "I have no idea where I'm going."
"Alright," said the boy with the white hat and put one hand on her shoulder, pointing off towards some orangey-brown tents a ways away from them. "Those are the boys tents you're walkin' at, girly girl. I'm pretty sure that's a no-no."
The other boy, the one with the crazy hair, put his hand on her other shoulder and pointed east of the tents the first was pointing to. "Those," he said, and she noticed the tents were significantly smaller and while in better shape, they just looked less durable. "Are the new girl tents. You're in..."
"A Tent," she responded automatically, still trying to avoid any real conversation for the day.
"You're in the first one as ya walk in, then. Should have a big A on it. Once ya get all settled in, come over to D Tent," he flashed her another ridiculously uninnocent grin.
"Yeah, don't be a stranger now," said the white-capped one. "Get yourself acquainted. We'll be perfect gentleman," he snickered, taking off his hat and holding it over his heart. "Promise."
"I'll make an effort," she replied slowly, taking a step from them. "I should really get changed now."
The boy in the white hat seized her hand before she could leave, and the boy with crazy hair did the same to her other one. "Pleasure meeting you," said the one with wild hair. "Name's Zigzag."
"I'm Squid. I'm gonna expect to see you, girly," said the other, saluting her mockingly as he and Zigzag retreated in laughter, heading towards what she assumed was a rec hall.
It was going to be a long, long year.
Judy was the spectacle of the evening as she tried to convince herself that this camp was homey. Every where she went she had boys popping up to check out the first girl at Camp Green Lake, as she had come to late for dinner and they hadn't caught her then, and they would then proceed to wander off huffily when they noticed that she wasn't all that they'd imagined. Her evening consisted largely of trying to get used to the way the camp was laid out so she would know where to go when she had business to do or someone told her to go somewhere. She didn't want to look clueless like she had earlier when the two boys had all but accosted her, which she would also be able to avoid if she knew where she was going. She was not a fan of the orange jump suits, but upon wandering she noticed that quite a number of boys unzipped the top and wore it off their shoulders, which was considerably more comfortable.
So in the evening she decided to go take a shower so she would at least be relatively clean for the next few days (in her head she was meticulously planning out this week's showers and how long she'd have to go between in them) because the boys were already not a fan of her as she was, so the last thing she needed to be was smelly. She had gotten her shampoo, towel, and shower token and was on her way as the sun was dying in the west. Her jump suit was unzipped to her wait, a ribbed white tank top covering her top. She had let her dark, frizzy curls down since she was just headed to the shower anyway and didn't want to lose her only hairties, and was just passing the boy's tents when she became truly aware that she would have no peace so long as she was still a novelty.
"Hey, girly!" called a sing-song southern drawl from one of the tents, that white baseball capped head poking out of the flaps. "Thought you weren't gonna be a stranger!"
Before Judy could so much as excuse herself from his presence, the boy with crazy hair, Zigzag, opened the flap next to him, looking out with an amused grin on his face. "You're gonna come and get acquainted, right?" he teased. "You ought to come in and meet the D Tent Boys!"
There was a murmur of 'the girl is out there?' and her two harassers were joined by a young Hispanic man and a dark skinned boy with thick glasses. They grinned as soon as they laid eyes on Judy, eager to join in. "Come on! We don't bite," purred the Mexican, causing her to recoil a bit. Creep.
"Not at all! Come on in, chickadee," agreed the one with glasses teasingly. "All by your lonesome in that tent. You can be an honorary D Tent boy."
"You know, I think I'm gonna have to pass," replied Judy flatly, trying to go on her way to the showers. Unfortunately for her, a man who had briefly introduced himself as the camp doctor earlier poked his head out, standing shorter than almost all the boys.
"Come on, Judith," he said with sickening brightness. "We're having team building exercises and since you haven't got a team, I think it would be very good for you to join with us! Wonderful suggestion, boys."
"Y'know, I was just gonna take a sh—"
"Oh, come now, Judith," said Zigzag, stressing her full name with snicker. "Even Mom wants you here. So you have to come in."
She hesitated, glancing longingly at the showers and giving in with a sigh, trekking the short distance over to the boy's tent with a vague sense of dread. She knew this was going to be as miserable as her first impression of the boys at camp, dismissing her as ugly, but she couldn't very well refuse a counselor and so had to go and join the D Tent in their… team building exercises or some hoohockey like that. Judy was firstly not a fan of the smell of the boy's tent. Her tent didn't smell like a bed of roses are anything, and had a faint tinge of mildew and a strong stench of dust and dirt, but this was just absolutely foul in the boy's tent. It smelled like sweat, grime, dust, old socks, feet, and body odor. She was unimpressed and had to fight the urge to gag as she stepped in. Zigzag caught her expression and instantly burst into a grin, slapping her roughly on the back.
"You'll get used to it," he said with a crooked smile that made her feel like she would never get used to it.
"Come on boys, sit down," ordered Pendanski in a tone that sounded like he was dealing with a group of rowdy five year olds. He glanced at Judy and quickly added, "And ladies."
"Hey, hey, girly," said Squid, a toothpick hanging from his lips as he waved at her from his new spot on the ground. He'd left one open next to him for her and she grudgingly accepted his gesture because at least he'd talked to her and she kind of… sort of.. knew him. She sat down between him and the Hispanic boy, who made a little head nod gesture to her and clicked his tongue.
"Now Jose," said Pendanski with a trained patience. "We respect women here."
"His name ain't Jose," said a heavy boy from across the circle, scowling at the doctor. "It's Magnet."
"The boys like to have their little nicknames," Pendanski said, looking to Judy. "But I prefer to call them by the names their parents chose for them and the name the world will recognize them by."
"No one here would recognize it," said Squid quietly from her left, elbowing her to get her attention. "Look, listen, I'll fill ya in, alright? You just listen close, wait for it, we're gonna do these damned introductions.."
As if on cue, Pendanski clapped his hands together merrily. "Well, since we have a new member of our team building exercises, I think we should all introduce ourselves. Boys, this is Judith Golan. Say hello."
There was a flood of sarcastic 'Helloooo Judith' that made her cheeks burn in embarrassment. "Judith, this is Rex," continued Pendanski, indicating to the boy to his immediate right.
"X-Ray," supplied Squid in a whisper.
"This is Theodore."
"Armpit," Squid grinned. "You'll find out why later, I'm sure."
"This here is Ricky."
"You know Ziggy."
"That's Alan. Hat off, Alan."
Squid, or rather Alan, tipped his hat to Pendanksi and took it off, holding it on his lap and flashing a grin at Judy.
"Thank you. That's Jose."
"Magnet."
"I heard that one already," she whispered back.
"Hey, don't kick a gift horse in the teeth."
Judy opened her mouth to make some remark on the slaughtering of an expression of speech, but Pendanski did not hear their whispered conversation and so continued on regardless. "That's Lewis."
"Barf Bag."
"Pleasant.."
"And this here is Zero." He looked at the boy to his right with thinly veiled stare of annoyance and hatred behind his cheeriness. "He's called Zero because his head is absolutely empty. Zero in it." The boy looked vaguely ashamed and scowled at the group, who seemed amused by Pendanski's teasing. "Well then! Now that we're all introduced, we should start out exercises, right boys? Today we'll work on self esteem and team cohesion," said Pendanski, reminding Judy vaguely of one of those self-improvement tapes. "We'll go around the circle and everyone will say something they like about someone else, to start, okay? Because even though you have all made bad choices, you are not bad people and there is good in all of you to find. Rex, why don't you say something nice about someone?"
X-Ray looked around the circle in contemplation, then grinned. "I like that Barf Bag never threw up on me." Barf Bag gave him a little nod and amused smirk as the boys around burst into snicker. Pendanski did not looked as enthused.
"Now, boys, you're supposed to be real about this," he frowned. "Judy, perhaps you could start?"
"Ooh, just 'cause girls are 'more sensitive', Mom? I see how it is," said X-Ray teasingly. "Sexist." Pendanski ignored him, happily awaiting Judy's response.
Judy, however, was not a fan of being in the spotlight. As all eyes turned to her, she could feel the blood rush to her face and her cheeks go red as she looked around, trying to think of someone to say something nice about… or rather, a nice comment at all for these boys. I'm glad your tent doesn't also smell like a dead animal? It's good that you don't wander around naked in your tent? She bit her lip nervously as the group waited for her response. "Uhhh," she said, only to fill the silence. Her gaze fell onto Squid, sitting next to her and smirking hugely. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Uhh? Thanks for not calling me ugly?"
The boys erupted into laughter.
Pendanski looked unhappy. "Now, who called you ugly?"
She shrugged. "I don't know, I wasn't taking names."
"Well that's very disrespectful," he said, as if she didn't know. "I'm glad that Alan has more manners than that. I would hope all of you do."
Armpit started, "But she ain't that pr—"
"Who cares?" interrupted Magnet, waving his hands dismissively. "What else do you need? She's got ta-tas and a va—"
"Jose!" reprimanded Pendanski, putting one hand to his temple. The boys all burst into laughter again and, despite being offended on some level, Judy couldn't help but snicker as well at their antics. Of course, nothing she did could go unannounced, so when noticed it was immediately brought into the limelight.
"Well looky there!" exclaimed Zigzag. "Girl's got a heart after all! I believe I just saw a little smile."
Judy instantly wiped said smile from her face.
"Oh, hey now!" Squid said with feigned sadness. "Why'd you go and do that? Smile, girly!" And, taking liberties she never would have in his shoes, he reached out and poked her side. She eeped and jumped away, to which Zigzag's eyes widened and a grin spread across his face.
"She's ticklish, Squid! Get'er!"
And with that, Squid was tickling her and she had burst into laughter. It was a moment only before Zigzag had gotten to his feet and ran over, joining in. Judy screamed and ducked, trying to scramble away, but Magnet decided to tackle her to keep her from doing just that. She was squashed to the floor with an umph and barely managed to pull out at least from beneath Magnet before someone called, "Dog pile!"
Within seconds, every boy in the room (Pendanski and Zero excluded) had jumped onto Magnet and Judy, subsequently trapping her. Even though this was rather an awkward situation, she couldn't help but laugh with them, desperately trying to get out from the bottom of a dogpile at the same time.
"Boys!" Pendanski reprimanded. "Boys, this is completely inappropriate!"
At Pendanski's scolding and yelling over their laughter, the group scattered back to their spots at the circle, Judy unsure whether or not to feel offended, awkward, or accepted. She sat back between Magnet and Squid, trying to make her curls lay down flat as they had gotten all mussed up in the tussle and were now poofing out wildly. Magnet smirked and flicked one of the ringlets.
"Got a little Jew fro goin' on there, chica," he said.
"She's got kind of a Jew nose, too," said Barf Bag, making Pendanski blanch.
"Boys!"
"Hell, her name is a Jew name!" added Armpit, to which the rest of the boys gave him an odd look. He continued. "Judy! Ju-dy. Man, it's got the word Jew in it!" X-Ray and Zigzag snorted with laughter and Barf Bag chuckled.
"We oughta just call her Jew," suggested X-Ray.
"Rex, that's inappropriate!" Pendanski scolded. X-Ray rolled his eyes.
"Oh, Mom, relax," he sighed. "It's just a name. And it's not the one society will recognize her by, right?" X-Ray's lips curled into a wicked little smile, glad to have beat the doctor at his own game. Pendanski scowled.
"I think that's enough 'bonding' for tonight," he decided, getting to his feet and dusting off his shorts. "Judith, you ought to head back to your tent for some sleep. First day is tomorrow."
"I was just gonna get a shower first… is that alright?" she asked, slowly getting to her feet as well as the boys began to disperse to their various beds and nightly activities.
"Oh, entirely," said Pendanski, his sickening cheeriness back again. "I'll send one of the boys next time we do a team building exercise! Good night, Judy!"
She waved over her shoulder as she exited the tent, making her way back towards her original destination: the showers. Once she'd gotten there, she had found that the shower only had one knob… cold. She supposed there was good logic for this, considering they were in the middle of nowhere and it was hot. Unpleasantly she discovered that the showers were timed amidst washing the suds from her body. The cool water stopped abruptly, leaving her trying to wipe the soap off the rest of her body. It didn't work as well as she would have liked and when she bit her nails as she was getting dressed, it tasted bitterly of soap. She had barely set foot outside the girls showers, when she was greeted by the sight of a tall, lanky boy leaned against the edge of it.
"Jesus!" she exclaimed. "Creep much?"
Squid grinned at her, tipping his hat. "Relax girly. I'm just doing my gentlemanly duty of makin' sure no Yellow Spotted Lizards getcha. I'll walk you back to your tent. Who knows what could be lurkin' around these corners?"
"Tumbleweeds?" she suggested dryly, beginning to walk with him nonetheless. He gave a short chuckle at her response, falling into stride beside her.
"Ya never know," he joked. "Tumbleweeds are mighty dangerous creatures."
She laughed a little, then paused. "So, uh… what's a Yellow Spotted Lizard?"
"Ya really don't know?" he asked. "I would've though Mr. Sir woulda told you all about 'em. It's like, his favorite thing to tell new kids about."
"No," she replied flatly. "I was just kidding with you and I totaaalllllyyy know what yellow spotted lizards are."
"... really?"
"No!" she laughed a little, half in exasperation and half in honest amusement. "No, Squid, I really don't know what they are."
"They're little devils," he said seriously, causing her smile to fall from her face by the sudden change. "Lizards. Each one has 11 spots on his back. And if they bite ya… you're done for. Absolutely done for. And it's a slow, painful death."
Judy looked appropriately horrified, almost running into a water spigot as she stared at Squid. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"And they're just chilling in this camp?"
"Yep. Sometimes they like, nest in our old holes." She curled her lip and wrinkle her nose.
"That's awful."
"Yep..." he agreed, nodding and chewing on a toothpick idly. He grinned at her suddenly, startling her by the abrupt change. "But don't worry yourself too much! Those guns the counselors have are for them lizards. They wouldn't make ya dig a hole where one was, anyhow. We stay far away from them demons. Oh, looky here, A Tent." He stopped outside her tent, hands in his orange jumpsuit pockets, grinning. "You're gonna be mighty lonely in there."
"I'll be fine," she said dryly, surprised she didn't foresee the conversation turning this way.
"I'm just playin', girly!" he laughed, smacking her arms. She jumped a little and he snickered harder. "But hey, if you ever do get lonely or scared like you womenfolk do..." she narrowed her eyes at him as he went to continue but instead was cut off by a rather surly voice.
"Squid, what are you doing? Are you a little Girl Scout?" they both glanced and saw Mr. Sir a good ways away from them, creeping around with his gun in hand. Judy looked scared, but Squid seemed unfazed. "No? I didn't think so! Get away from the girl tents then! We ain't lookin' for juvenile delinquent babies 'round here!"
"You're welcome to head over to D Tent," Squid finished quickly. "You're an honorary D Tent member for the time being, yeah? Night, Jew." He tipped his hat to her with a wicked grin and retreated back towards the boy's tents as Mr. Sir continued to holler and scold him in the distance. She quickly ducked into her tent, not wanting the same speech from Mr. Sir to keep her awake. She went to change out of her jumpsuit, but realized she had no shorts left in her bag and so nothing to really wear to bed. Too nervous to sleep in only a tank top and underwear, she slept in her horrible little work outfit and tried to ignore the heat.
She felt like she'd barely gotten ten minutes of sleep (though it had probably been hours) when she heard a recorded trumpet playing over the loud speakers.