Part 1: Our First Meeting
Ugh. I hate doing quests for all these random people. What am I, a mercenary on the top of some call list? I'm freakin' Era Hawke, rogue, thief, and all around charmer. I'm sure are other people who could do this, being ambushed in some random house in the Alienage. There was nothing in that damn chest either.
My group and I leave the house and walk outside. Varric and Bethany seeming as put out as I am, Merrill almost as happy as usual to just be included. But, yet again, another group is waiting for us. Probably even wanting to hurt us.
"Where's the elf?" The woman in front of them looks like a real mercenary should. How was I getting mixed up with these people?
"You mean this one?" I point in confusion at Merrill. The ears are rather obvious after all. Maybe they have seeing problems?
"No you idiot, the white haired one!"
A man near the back of the group scowls. "Maybe they don't know where he is. They're a waste of time."
"Probably…" She shakes her head and waves to the rest of the group. "Kill them!
I suppress a sigh. Simpletons.
We
After we dealt with the group there was only left, I was about to take him down with my blades then a blue glowing fist came through his heart appeared. I was scared but was ready for this.
"There's no need for the hostility" said the elf with nice white hair. Dear lord he was handsome but could be dangerous. I hate when I'm attracted to the most dangerous men and most of them are not greatly look upon by my family.
"Who are you and what are you doing here? " I said standing ready if he pulls anything.
"these people are slave hunters and unfortunately I'm a slave" he said looking at me.
"too many hunters for one person unless you've killed the person who supposedly owns you? " I didnt want to say the world slave because he didn't seem dangerous towards us.
"well I'm lined with lyrium which that explains the markings all over me, this make me look like a monster" he said looking to himself.
" I don't really care about the markings I actually liked them already you dont have like 20 different people's blood on you" I said with a smile.
"That is true, I rather have markings than blood" Varric said.
The guy smiled and blush. "I'm Fenris"
"I'm Era Hawke"
"Varric"
"Bethany" Fenris seemed uneasy with Bethany.
"Merrill, nice to meet you" she said happily.
"is there anymore of them? " I said looking around.
"there's more at my old masters house in hightown" he said
"do you need any help" I said.
"Thanks for the offer you just met me I don't want you to go to any trouble. " he looked at me.
"it's fine I don't mind" I looked back at my companions. "do you guys want to help its fine if you wanna go home now"
All of them looked tired from the fight and apologize for not coming but I told them to have a good night rest. I went with Fenris to Hightown along the way I wanted to know more about him, I had this feeling when first meeting him.
"so.. How did you get away? "
"I ran away with a group of bandits spent some time with them but Darnius still found me" he said looking around.
"He's still trying to find because of your markings isn't it? " I looked at him, he wasn't scary at all, I loved his markings so much. He noticed me looking and said
"Yes these markings gives me power... "
"and Darnius is using you as a guard for him? "
"well yes and no I was he's little experiment he came up with" he looked at me.
"But why would he do that? I looked concerned
"he was my master and master do whatever they want to their property" he said with disdain.
"I don't like that at all" I said looking at him. We kept on walking and finally made it to Hightown and found Darius mansion.
"we can't use the front door, we have to go around" he said
We found a backwater into the mansion and a few minutes later we cleared through the mansion and ended up in what look like a bedroom.
"He's not here? Is this one of his numerous hiding places? " I sat down on a chair next to the sat down as well with wine in his hand.
"he's probably waiting outside right now" he drank some wine.
" I don't think so" fixing my hair, it was a mess from this eventful night.
"You look fine" he said looking at me.
"well mine is not all perfect all the time like yours! " I said brushing through it with my fingers. Sometimes I love my long black hair but then I don't like it.
He chuckled. " if I knew who would have gone to that house I would of gone by myself"
" why is that? " finished with my hair.
"I didn't know a woman like you would go into that" he drank some more.
" I think that's the wine talking" I blush.
" no it's not maybe I should practice talking to a beautiful woman like you" he smiled
" I hope it's only me" what was I was saying I just met him but... But he was so I dont know how to explain, I have this feeling about him.
"I'm sure I lived long but no woman show me the respect you give me and you barely know me. I don't want you to stay up all night long with me, I want you to sleep, I'm pretty sure your busy" he said
"I don't mind talking to you Fenris" I smiled. He smiled back. His smile so gorgeous
"I'm more worried about you going home if you mind I would like to make sure your taken home safely" he said and got up walked towards me. "let's go"
"that's nice of you Fenris thank you. "
Part 2: When things get serious
After months went by since the Dark roads, I still remember the darkness, all the nightmares I've been having and the betrayal of Varric's brother. But the most painful of all is when the Templars took Bethany away from us when we came back, Mother cried for days on end and all I wanted to do was to slashed every Templar and rescued my dear Bethany but that was a dream and couldn't be a reality.
Lately I have been really busy with different quests from Templars to my inner circle and the people of Kirkwall from time to time that I haven't really spend time with my companions lately or anyone for that one day I decided to catch up with everyone and of course most have some issuses that needed my help which I'm not complaining but having a drink one minute then fighting a group of strange cultists wasn't the kind of catching up I had in mind. But I met up with everyone except for Fenris.
I figure to take a nice bath and put on some comfortable clothing since I'm only walking to Fenris Mansion in Hightown instead of going to Dark Town for once but I still had a hidden blade just in case something wants to get lucky to get a taste. Fenris's mansion is huge but messy since he never cleaned up really after trying to find Darius in this place. I didn't have to knock or anything I wouldn't think anyone would dare to come in here anyway. I made my way up the stairs and towards "his" room. I saw him staring into the fire while sitting down,drinking one of Darius's favorite wines.
"How long have you been staring into this fire,drinking?" I laughed a little.
"I'm just having the time of my so called life. I never knew wine would taste this good."
"Well wine is good and I see that you've been taking a liking to it so I heard from Varric."
"Our little storyteller been telling stories of a drunken elf with silver hair and lyrium marks that can rip through people's hearts, how interesting."
I giggled "You got to admit the little adorable dwarf can spill an interesting tale about a handsome elf plus the added destruction he could do is so sexy." I gave him a seductive look afterwards.
"Well someone is happy lately" He smirked
I went silent, remembering what happened at the Deep Roads and my smile went away. He saw this and came over to me, grab my chin for me to look at him in the eyes.
"I know the Dark Roads have been troubling you, I seen in your eyes and how you talk with others but it been a few months since the journey and I'm worried about you" he brushed my hair from my face. He caress my face to soothe me from the pain of it all.
I started to tear up a bit, I didn't want him to see me in this horrible mess I'm in. I'm a strong woman with a strong mind but this damn elf..
"Fenris I just...I don't know I've been having nightmares and can't go to sleep sometimes and when the fire goes out..." Instead of saying anything, Fenris grab me and held me while I cried. He kept telling I'm safe and stroking my hair till I'd calm down. I pulled away and wipe my eyes. God Why am I a mess especially infront of him. Pull yourself together Era.
"Fenris.."I looked at him
"Era?"he look into me
"Thank you for being here with me, I just needed someone to help me but was to afraid to tell anyone. I just..." I stroked my hair back and wiped the rest of my tears off my face.
"Era I'm always here for you, and if you needed anything just let me..." I kissed him out of nowhere, I don't know why but it felt right.I didn't care if he rejected it, I just want to let him now that I have feelings for him but couldn't put it in words.
But he didn't, he pulled me closer and the kiss got deeper. I wanted to tell him why I did but he probably figured it out by now. All the times I looked at him for long periods and always stand right to him anywhere plus all the flirty things I would say to him. This was perfect, this was what I needed for long while.
Fenris pulled and smiled "I didn't know you had strong feelings for me and seemed like you have for long time" he slowly message my back which felt amazing.
"I did when we first met, I'm sorry if I was straight forward" I rub his ears, he always like that it was something that soothe him especially during the Dark Roads.
"I was beginning to think you had your interest in Anders because he's wants to fight off the templars especially because of your sister". He placed his forehead on top of mine kiss my nose.
I giggled "Fenris, I always had the hots for you but didn't had the guts to say it too, I was afraid you didn't like me or we were just friends" I felt a little sad.
"Then explain that one time with the Qunari on the coast line and he attack you and you fell on the ground, I use all my power to tear that Qunari apart with my bare hands because I was angered that he touch you!" he said with anger
"True" and I kissed him "I love it when your protective over me" I nuzzled my face to his neck. I kiss his neck and he flinched
"Alright Era, stop it" he said
i kissed him again and again. "Why, are you ticklish Fenris, is the big bad elf ticklish" I said laughly. Oh gave me the most death defying look ever.
"I'm not ticklish Hawke and keep playing games like this and you won't get your surpise!" he said pulling my hair. I let out an "accidently" moan and he blush a whole lot which made me smile.
"I'm sorry Fenris I couldn't help myself" Yea I could but I didn't want to "and what surpise Fenris?" I said walking up the steps to my bedroom with Fenris right behind me.
"i just wanted to take you out somewhere and eventually tell you my feelings for you" Fenris said smiling. I notice that he did an overview of my backside which he was memorized until I caught him staring and he blushed.
"Well I have to take a bath first, help yourself to anything really" I went into my bathroom (yes a bathroom even it wasn't in the game) and took off my clothes. I walked over to the heater for the huge tube (which was a fortune but i still had money left over) and waited a couple mins before I slipped in and thought about all the places Fenris was going to take me and the thought of him alone made me happy and relaxed.
Fenris and I.
Part 3: Our First Date
I was nervous before the date, choosing what to wear was difficult plus without having my sister there wasn't making anything easier. Damn Templars and damn the Circle for existing but I don't have a choice which kills me inside but I guess I have deal with it for now.
I went with the white laced dress that compliment my light caramel skin plus it was soft to the touch. When Fenris came to my door to take me out I can tell he was amazed by my dress but he focus on my eyes and grabbed my hand to head out to forest where a nice spring was. It was beautiful, breath taking by first sight. When we arrive, he already set up a blanket with a basket full of food and of course wine. He lead me towards the little set up and sit me down, starting to fix me a little sandwich and a glass of wine. I thanked him when he handed me the food and ate it slowly. I didn't like when people watch me eat but he noticed.
"The sandwich not good?" he said with a sigh.
"No it just I'm very self conscious about people watching me eat. I'm sorry I didn't to mean to offend you, the sandwich is very delicious" I'm blushing so much. Oh god stop blushing Hawke, your embarrassing yourself.
"Era, Your beautiful in everything you do. Don't be embarrassed" He leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. I blush even more. I hurried up and finish the sandwich then took a drink of wine. I layed down on the blanket as did Fenris and looked at the sky together.
"This is perfect" I said.
"How is that?" He shifted to his side
"Well being here with you and just not worrying about anything is just what I needed for a long time" I was finally relaxed for once.
"I'm glad to help Hawke, seeing you down tears me apart and I never want to see you down like that again" He pulled me in for a long kiss then cuddles afterward.
I'm so lucky..
Part 4: Our times together
I had a bad dream about the Deep Roads. again. I stood up, sweating and panting. My heart was beating fast but I was in my room, in my house not there... I heard a knock at my door and went back in my bed and cover myself in my blanket, embarrassed by the fact that I'm still having these nightmares still after a year.
"Era?" a male voice said. a nice and low voice. Fenris? I pretended to be asleep, I don't want him to worry about me and these nightmares, he already has enough on his mind with Meredith and Orsino feud and the peace of Kirkwall all together. If I'm in the mix, he will explode and I won't hear the end it!
I heard the door turned and opened, light footsteps entered and ended at my side of the bed. I smelled his cologne and heard his armor cling while he reach out to stroke my arm.
"Era, you awake?" he moved closer to me. I didn't respond, still pretending that I'm asleep. He shook me a little "Era please wake up, I heard you screaming in the library!" I guess I may been a little bit too loud? I woke up slowly to him and ask him what's wrong.
"You started screaming in the middle of the night, I got scared and tried to wake you up princess" his face says it all, he look troubled and wondering why I was screaming. I had to tell him it was because of the deep roads.I know it must trouble him too, maybe talking about it will make my dreams .
" it was the deep roads,Fenris, I keep having dreams about it and I can't seem to shut them out. I tried to think of other things but it keeps coming back." A tear rolled down my cheek as I keep explaining it. Fenris lifted my chin up to him and placed a kiss on my cheek than my lips.
"I know the deep roads was both terrible and good for wealth I mean and bringing back your family estate was the only reason you would go into the deep roads but I do understand the nightmares you have for which I do have rarely but your here in my arms that what put me at ease" he kissed me again more passionate this time which put me at ease. After the kissing, I place my head on his chest and slowly fell back to sleep and dreamt of fenris and I going on many adventures which help me stay asleep for the rest of the night.
Part 5: Why?
I didn't understand why?
Did I do something wrong?
I just don't...
Laying on my bed, looking at my ceiling wondering what as been my hobby lately ever since..
Ever since he said he couldn't, he couldn't do this anymore. At first my heart stopped and the whole world stopped with it, I didn't understand why? what was wrong in our relationship that he didn't feel right? was it all the quest we would go on together and my live was on the line? I couldn't figure out anymore plus laying here isn't the solution either.
(knock at the door)
"Who is it?" I didn't really wanted to see or talk to anyone anymore
"How you holding up princess?" Varric, my adorable little dwarve. He came in my room with a smile and a plate of milk chocolates that he knew i loved so sweetly. "I brought you alittle present since princess is upset about the elf"
"I'm not upset" as I stuffed chocolate in my mouth. It taste so gooood.
"Oh princess you can't deceive me, I know what happened even if you haven't spoke a word of it, now eat this chocolate and talk to me. You haven't been out much since we finish the mission with Templar Cullen. Now spill it, princess." he looked deeply in my eyes waiting for my response.
I couldn't hold my emotions anymore "Varric, what was wrong with me? I don't know what happened? we were perfect and loved each other but he told me he couldn't anymore. That he remembers his memories from his past. I just..." I kept crying. Crying my heart, my soul, my everything hoping Fenris would come back and hold me one last time. Varric held me for hours on end telling me that I was the most prettiest,smartest woman in all of Thedas. i love Varric for counseling me and holding me for as long as I cried. But I didn't want him to spend all this time on me, he has the Hanged Man to run now and he can't make money off my tears but he said I should come out more. That all my friends missed me and want to hang with me more instead of sticking in my room waiting on another mission to come by. Maybe this is what I need because sitting here ain't gonna stop the pain and maybe Fenris can come back around.
"Era I have this for you" Varric pulled a piece of paper from his was a letter from Anders.
(Dear Era,
I know what happened but you don't have to deal with this pain alone. Meet me at my clinic and we can catch up.
Love Anders)
Love Anders? Oh Anders such a gentleman. I'll go to him tomorrow but tonight I'll go to the
Hanged Man with Varric probably Isabella and Merrill are there. I can talk to them and maybe forget all of this. Hopefully..
Part 6: Anders
Anders's Clinic was a nice little clinic especially when it's located in Darktown where refugees still lingering long after the Blight and the poor live here as while. As I arrive at the clinic, Anders is finishing on one of his patients. He gestured me to go into his own quarters and told me he would be in there after he finishes.
I waited for quite some time, just reading through his many logs of his patients and some of his experiments which sparks some ideas in my head but I don't have the time to looked into especially the tension with the Mages and the Templars going on.
(Door opened and shut as Anders walked in)
"Oh Bloody hell, I need to sit down" As he sit on his bed while I sat in the chair next to it.
"Are you alright, Anders?" He looked darn right tired.
"Yea just doing what I do best, Hawke but I'm more worried about you" he took off his coat and I saw his toned chest. Mmmm..I never knew Anders had that hiding underneath that coat.
"I'm alright Anders no need to worry" I shrugged it off even though I'm still hurt inside."I'm fine"
"Hawke I know you're still upset about that damn elf.." He looked disgusted just thinking about him. Era I don't like to see you hurt, I care about you, Don't tell me you're fine because your not. Oh Era if only…" He looked down, trying to find words to express.
"Anders I am fine I'm just taking this day by day, Please don't worry about me. You have all these patients plus Templars are trying to come at your doorstep. I'm more worried about you I don't want to lose you, Anders" Why do I have feel this warmth, Anders and I are only friends what's going on Era. Stop it, stop it...Yes he's nice and handsome but…
"Era..' he looked at me like I was his universe and he wanted to dive in at any moment,
Anders…
Part 7: Asking Varric For Advice
After the awkward situation with Anders, I decided to go Varric for relationship advice. Why you ask? Well Isabella isn't really a relationship person, Merrill is Merrill plus I can't go to Anders now or Fenris. So I have only Varric now, so I gotta work with what I have.
The Hanged Man is always crowded with people willing to drink their woes,money or dreams away for a few hours. I saw familiar faces, Isabella overly drinking while men are throwing themselves at her at every second, Merrill talking to Aveline instead of staying at her home with that broken mirror,Anders in the corner talking with one of his assistants and Fenris coming down from Varric quarters.. I couldn't even look at him without saying pain but I love him with my whole being. I'll just walk and talked over to anyone act like I'm not noticing him and pray to the Maker he doesn't see me.
I walked toward a lady, a regular server for the Hanged Man probably taking a break.
"Hey How's the Hanged Man treating you lately?" I joined her at her table.
"It's alright I usually get a surprise every night working here. It's either a drunken brawl over a woman or a drink, casual encounters that started with drinks, or Templars spilling all their orders secrets like a waterfall." She smiled
"Well as long as you like it I guess" her job sounds interesting.
"Era.." A soft voice from behind where I sat. "Do you have a moment" I felt his presence, it was ice down my spine. I was afraid I don't know why though I knew, "knew" him.
I turned and saw it was Fenris standing over me looking determined but soft. "Fenris.. I am" I said farewell to the server and got up from the table. Fenris motion me upstairs to one of the rented rooms. I saw Anders at the corner of my eye, watching us as we headed up stairs. The look on his face was not pleasing.
We reached the room, I walked in and sat at the small table in the corner while Fenris close the door and locked it.
"Era we need to talk" he sound determined
"Talk about what Fenris" A part of me is anger but a part of me wanted to rush over there and kiss this damn elf who cause me this pain.
"About us, about me being a dumbass who got scared and decided to run away from the best thing that ever happen to me, that's what I want to talk, princess." My heart just dropped when he said princess. Damn him ooooooooo he I'm oooooo He knows where to hit me…
"And what does this dumbass want to say?" I didn't mean it, I really didn't.
The look on Fenris's face, the look of defeat. There...there is a tear flowing down his face. I rush towards him and held him.
"Fenris I don't mean it please don't I'm just anger about what happened I'm sorry please Fenris" I cried hard. "Fenris I love you with all my heart, my soul, please…"
"Era, It's okay" as he wipes my tears away "I love you whole" He kissed me and I kissed back.
"You guys made up already?" Varric came out of nowhere. We both looked at him in shocked. Where? How did he..?
"Varric" I walk towards him "Why are you here?"
"Well princess, I do have all the keys to the Hanged Man plus I was wondering where my princess and browdy were? Sorry for being worried" He laughed "You guys can go back to making up but cleaned up afterwards"
"Varric I swear I'll break your face.." Fenris pulled me into him, holding me.
"Feisty as always princess" Varric walked out of the room.