As Spike made his way down the solid stairs that lead to Caritas, he heard
a hauntingly beautiful voice flow up to him.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cos your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Spike nearly choked as he realised the song portrayed his exact feelings about Buffy. He stopped where he was and put a hand on the wall to steady himself.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
His chest hurt so much with grief that he could hardly stand, but he made it to the bottom of the stairs and took in the scene around him. The beautiful voice belonged to none other than Dawn herself. She was sitting on a stood in the middle of the stage, singing with tears streaming down her face. The whole of the bar, even the huge ugly demons where silently captivated by the haunting lyrics and Dawn's clear voice.
You cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
You'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
And you still have all of me
As Spike watched her, he felt as though someone was ripping his heart from him, twisting it and tearing it. He hated to see Dawn in so much pain. He knew that how he felt about Buffy's death was mirrored in Dawn. Whatever the grief he carried with him about her death, the fact that Dawn felt it too made him writhe in agony.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound here by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
He felt a tear escape his eye and remembered all the dreams he'd had of her beautiful face, the times he'd heard her voice and seen her there when no one else had. He watched Dawn, the beautiful yet innocent young teenager express the grief that only adults should feel through the haunting lyrics. Whoever wrote this song was a empathic genius, Spike thought. It seemed to be written for him and Dawn.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
As the song drew to an end, the whole bar was silent. Many of the huge, ugly demons had tears running down their cheeks and Dawn seemed suddenly to remember where she was, wiping her eyes and becoming slightly self conscious. A large Mohra demon in the front row stood up.
"That was just beautiful," he said, and began to clap. The rest of the room followed and Dawn smiled a sad smile and made her way off the stage. Spike intercepted her and they looked at each other for a while, searching each others eyes. Then Dawn hugged him and spilled her tears on his coat. He held her and stroked her hair in return. It was somewhat comforting.
A tall green demon with red horns came towards them. "Some grief you got there sweetheart, and let me tell ya, it doesn't take a psychic to figure that out."
Spike realised this must be Lorne, the host, the one Angel had told him about. He and Dawn broke apart and Dawn looked up at him.
"Someone told me if I sang you could give me advice." Her eyes pleaded with the demon silently.
He sighed sadly. "I'm sorry sweetheart. You're going through grief, pain, more that a girl your age should have to. But there's not much you can do, but live. Get on with you're life. I'm right in thinking that the last thing she said to you was, 'Be brave. Live.' Sounds to me like whoever she was was a pretty smart cookie. So take her advice."
Dawn was crying again and hastily wiped her eyes. "Sorry. It's just... she was all I had left."
"Aw, Honey. I wish there was more I could do, really. But you gotta do it yourself. Little bit of good stuff however, you got a good few people got your back. Fiercely protective of you am I right?"
Dawn glanced at Spike who had a hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Yeah."
Lorne shrugged. "Well then let them help you. Stop running, sweetheart." He turned to Spike. "Sing."
"What?"
"Sing. I'm interested."
"I don't need guidance. I came here for the Bit."
Dawn nudged him. "Go on. I wanna hear you sing."
Spike glanced at the two expectant faces and reluctantly began to sing a couple of lines that had called out to him self consciously.
"You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound here by the life you left behind"
Dawn smiled and hugged him again.
Lorne had his eyes shut and when he opened them they were full of wonder. "Who are you? Vampire, in love with the -"
"Slayer, yes, I know," Spike interrupted awkwardly.
"And yet grieving, pain, guilt... how do you live with that? How did you bring that on yourself. Angel had a soul..."
"And Angel spends his time brooding over everything and everyone." Spike snapped. "I'm don't. I just... I loved a girl, and now she's gone. So I gotta keep my promises to her."
Lorne nodded in agreement. "I admire that."
Spike shrugged it off and turned to Dawn. "You ready to go home Nibblet?"
She shook her head. "No. No, can we spend a while here? I want to go and see Angel first. I don't want to go home yet."
He nodded. "You ready to leave here though?"
She nodded back. "Yeah. Let's go... find somewhere to stay."
He smiled and followed her out of Caritas. Once they were outside, Dawn leant against Spike's arm as they walked through the dark streets of LA.
"So what did you promise Buffy?"
"I promised her I would never let anything happen to you. And I won't."
He looked at the form of the small teenager beside him. She was his reason for carrying on. If it weren't for her, he would have killed himself weeks ago. Dawn was his link to Buffy. He loved her, because in a way, she was Buffy.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cos your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Spike nearly choked as he realised the song portrayed his exact feelings about Buffy. He stopped where he was and put a hand on the wall to steady himself.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
His chest hurt so much with grief that he could hardly stand, but he made it to the bottom of the stairs and took in the scene around him. The beautiful voice belonged to none other than Dawn herself. She was sitting on a stood in the middle of the stage, singing with tears streaming down her face. The whole of the bar, even the huge ugly demons where silently captivated by the haunting lyrics and Dawn's clear voice.
You cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
You'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
And you still have all of me
As Spike watched her, he felt as though someone was ripping his heart from him, twisting it and tearing it. He hated to see Dawn in so much pain. He knew that how he felt about Buffy's death was mirrored in Dawn. Whatever the grief he carried with him about her death, the fact that Dawn felt it too made him writhe in agony.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound here by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
He felt a tear escape his eye and remembered all the dreams he'd had of her beautiful face, the times he'd heard her voice and seen her there when no one else had. He watched Dawn, the beautiful yet innocent young teenager express the grief that only adults should feel through the haunting lyrics. Whoever wrote this song was a empathic genius, Spike thought. It seemed to be written for him and Dawn.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
As the song drew to an end, the whole bar was silent. Many of the huge, ugly demons had tears running down their cheeks and Dawn seemed suddenly to remember where she was, wiping her eyes and becoming slightly self conscious. A large Mohra demon in the front row stood up.
"That was just beautiful," he said, and began to clap. The rest of the room followed and Dawn smiled a sad smile and made her way off the stage. Spike intercepted her and they looked at each other for a while, searching each others eyes. Then Dawn hugged him and spilled her tears on his coat. He held her and stroked her hair in return. It was somewhat comforting.
A tall green demon with red horns came towards them. "Some grief you got there sweetheart, and let me tell ya, it doesn't take a psychic to figure that out."
Spike realised this must be Lorne, the host, the one Angel had told him about. He and Dawn broke apart and Dawn looked up at him.
"Someone told me if I sang you could give me advice." Her eyes pleaded with the demon silently.
He sighed sadly. "I'm sorry sweetheart. You're going through grief, pain, more that a girl your age should have to. But there's not much you can do, but live. Get on with you're life. I'm right in thinking that the last thing she said to you was, 'Be brave. Live.' Sounds to me like whoever she was was a pretty smart cookie. So take her advice."
Dawn was crying again and hastily wiped her eyes. "Sorry. It's just... she was all I had left."
"Aw, Honey. I wish there was more I could do, really. But you gotta do it yourself. Little bit of good stuff however, you got a good few people got your back. Fiercely protective of you am I right?"
Dawn glanced at Spike who had a hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Yeah."
Lorne shrugged. "Well then let them help you. Stop running, sweetheart." He turned to Spike. "Sing."
"What?"
"Sing. I'm interested."
"I don't need guidance. I came here for the Bit."
Dawn nudged him. "Go on. I wanna hear you sing."
Spike glanced at the two expectant faces and reluctantly began to sing a couple of lines that had called out to him self consciously.
"You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound here by the life you left behind"
Dawn smiled and hugged him again.
Lorne had his eyes shut and when he opened them they were full of wonder. "Who are you? Vampire, in love with the -"
"Slayer, yes, I know," Spike interrupted awkwardly.
"And yet grieving, pain, guilt... how do you live with that? How did you bring that on yourself. Angel had a soul..."
"And Angel spends his time brooding over everything and everyone." Spike snapped. "I'm don't. I just... I loved a girl, and now she's gone. So I gotta keep my promises to her."
Lorne nodded in agreement. "I admire that."
Spike shrugged it off and turned to Dawn. "You ready to go home Nibblet?"
She shook her head. "No. No, can we spend a while here? I want to go and see Angel first. I don't want to go home yet."
He nodded. "You ready to leave here though?"
She nodded back. "Yeah. Let's go... find somewhere to stay."
He smiled and followed her out of Caritas. Once they were outside, Dawn leant against Spike's arm as they walked through the dark streets of LA.
"So what did you promise Buffy?"
"I promised her I would never let anything happen to you. And I won't."
He looked at the form of the small teenager beside him. She was his reason for carrying on. If it weren't for her, he would have killed himself weeks ago. Dawn was his link to Buffy. He loved her, because in a way, she was Buffy.