"Harry! Harry wake up! You'll be late for work! I go to visit Dad for a week and I find you're late for work!" Ginny screamed across the window up the stairs and into Harry's bedroom as Harry woke up after a long series of seismic waves of sound.
Ginny looked at Harry and her face took on a horror "What's this? Your tummy!
What? Harry replied in a sleepy fashion. Ginny screamed out (again) "Your tummy! You've become so god-darn fat! I told you not to eat those cakes sent by Hagrid. Now I'll have to send you to the doctor!
10 minutes later Harry was waiting in those Muggle waiting rooms. He finally went in.
"Good morning .I am Ronald Weasley. May I know your good name?" "Ron!" Harry! By the good lord! How did you get into this hellhole!
Well Ron I'm err… obese. HOW ARE YOU HERE?
Hermione's gone off to Hogwarts to apply for the Charms job. Unfortunately I have to check on her parents. Seems Malfoy tried to kidnap them last time. So I'm supposedly guarding them. So let me look at your tummy. Golly it is rather big. Let's see... What do they call it…ickle fickle mumbo jumbo Ah there we are- Procomposagnathus Arreliamogis Tummis Laxis.
According to this you have to undergo some crap six-month course but using magic I'll shorten it to two.
What? You can't use magic in the Muggle world.
Ummmm…. Not exactly. Dung discovered some charm to avoid MOM detection so nobody's been adhering to rules.
Whoa! And what does Hermione say?
Well she's on a mission. Remember SPEW? Well she's starting STMOM. I wanted to make it KTT. Kill the teletubbies. Ever since Rose got a look at it she's not off it. TV bills increased err... 350%!
Well, well it seems Rose is now the Weasley TV addict- Hogwarts will cure her .
So what about my course?
Your course allows you to eat only baked beans and mashed potatoes.
SHUCKS!
I can't help it if your diet is horribly disgusting
All right!
What comes next in this parody?
Find out only on Harry's obesity problem