Disclaimer: I own nothing but a sad, fangirlish imagination.

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"God, why are we even here, yo?" Reno asked impatiently as he looked over to his friend Rude.

"Sir wants us to look into reports of someone hoarding materia here." Rude replied in his usual stoic yet slightly annoyed manner.

"But why here? Why would anyone want to come here? EVER?!"

Rude just ignored his partner and kept looking.

Reno, being Reno, pushed in front of him and looked back smirking, not looking where he was going he tripped on something in his path and went face first into the ground. "WHAT THE-" he gasped in wide-eye'd amazement "So...much...materia!"

They both looked around at the mountians of materia, and just as Reno went to pick some up...

"Stop what you're doing, put your hands up, keep your mouth shut and turn around slowly." A woman's voice came from behind him

He did as she said, he closed his eyes, held his hands above his head and turned around without saying a word. Once turned around completely he opened his eyes again to see his assailant. She was about 5' 8", slim and toned, with long green hair flowing from a ponytail on the back of her head down to about her lower back and her side-parted fringe framing her face, emerald green eyes with somewhat of a mako flicker through them and a mask covering the rest of her face. She had Rude by the throat with an ornate looking knife and in the other hand had a VERY large gun pointed to aim directly between Reno's eyes. "Care to tell me what you're doing with my materia?"

Reno looked at her and stood up with a smirk on his face. As he did she began charging her weapon, and his smirk disappeared. "We were told of a large collection of materia in the area and came looking for it, we didn't realise it belonged to anyone."

"You're lying."

Reno gulped but then grinned "Yeah okay, maybe I am, we knew it was someone's. We just didn't think they'd be armed."

Rude gulped as he felt her blade pushed harder into his throat, and the woman grinned as she felt his body begin to shake in fright. She pulled her knife away and pushed him into his friend knocking them both to the ground. "And that makes you idiots not worth my time. You really thought that someone who had this much materia wouldn't be armed? Dear lord, I knew recruiting was tough for the Turks but to be employing from the Special Education Department. One would think that Shinra had higher standards than that, I mean he did hire Hojo." She grinned as the two men glared at her.

"You're one of those remnants!" Reno exclaimed scrambling to his feet

"Please, so you're stupid AND blind. Does my hair look silver to you?"

"No-"

"Well there you go, not a remnant."

"But-"

"No, shut up. You have ten seconds to get the hell away from my materia before I blow you into oblivion." She pointed her gun back at them and began to charge it up

Rude smiled "Now whose the stupid one, if you blow us up, your materia goes up too."

"OH NO!!" she began dancing around dramatically "They've figured out my bluff! However will I get out of this one?!" she went back to her previous demeanor "I'm not the idiot here, the original cartridges explode on impact, but I've made a few minor changes, so now, they still explode but not before drilling themselves into my targets body. So basically the most damage my precious materia will take is a few bloodstains, which I always thought blood, made weapons, of any sort, instantly look better than they did."

Reno narrowed his eyes "You're a bit of a drama queen, huh?"

She flicked her fringe from her face "I do what I must to amuse myself in this boring place."

"Only boring people get bored."

She grinned at the Turks, her psychotic streak showing in her eyes.

The men were automatically wary of her, and the huge gun in her hand.

To their reactions she merely giggled "Start running now and you may live long enough to piss yourselves."

They looked at eachother, and lunged at the woman threatening their lives.

She merely stepped out of their way and they fell in a heap on top of oneanother.

"If your gonna kill us, at least tell us your name." Reno requested as he slowly made it to his feet

"My name? Now why would you want to know that?"

"Let's say curiousity. So what is it?"

She looked at them suspiciously "Kyoki."

They looked at her in disbelief "Your name... is... 'insane'?"

"Yes. And?"

"Nothing, nothing at all (explains a lot)"

Kyoki rolled her eyes "I'm not deaf, boy. And since we're on the subject of names," She took a step toward the men, her gun still pointing at them "what are yours?"

"I'm Reno and this is Rude. And how did you know we were Turks?"

"Hmm?"

"You mentioned that we were Turks before. How did you know?"

"Oh because the suits don't give it away. Look, say I don't kill you, say I let you live, what's in it for me?"

"You're gonna let us live, yo?"

"Hypothetically." she said glaring as she lowered her gun slightly

"Umm... What do you want?"

"Hmmm...?" Kyoki looked around Reno following her gaze, Rude keeping an eye on her "How about, a meeting with Rufus Shinra, and somewhere to sleep that isn't a cave that's extremely exposed to the elements."

"Is that all?" Reno asked surprised

"How can we be sure you're not an assassin sent to kill Sir?" Rude asked narrowing his eyes (not that you could see them under his glasses)

"Well, if you really are anywhere near as good bodyguards as you think you are, that wouldn't be a problem even if it were true."

Reno looked at Kyoki with a half-glare/half-smirk sort of expression. "For what reason would you want to meet The Boss?"

"Uh-buh-buh-buh! Not part of our deal. But if you'd prefer we could always go back to the original plan." She laughed lifting her gun toward them, again.

Rude looked at Reno, "We'll take you to see him."

Reno looked at him angry and confused.

Kyoki giggled, picked up her bag from behind some materia, and linked arms with the two Turks. "Reno was it?"

"Yeah." Reno replied glaring at the woman out of the corner of his eye

"I'm gonna start calling you Toto."

"Why?!" he asked getting flustered by the strange woman

"Because Rude's more like the Cowardly Lion, and we are off to see the wizard after all."

"I don't even have anything to say to that."

"Good, now shut-up and lets go, I've still got more weapons than digits on me so you'll do what I say. And I say that you're not to speak unless you 'bark'. Got it Toto?"

"I hate you already."

"Hurray, looks like this'll be fun then." Kyoki joked with a sly look on her face.

As they sat in the helicopter, Kyoki stared out the window at the landscape, smiling innocently.

Reno who was pilotting, looked at her in his periferal vision, "You're a strange woman you know that?"

"I've been told."

"One minute you're completely psychotic, and the next you're like Aer- the nicest person in the world."

"I know, and I know who you were going to say. Thank you for thinking that I'm anything like her."

"You knew her?"

"Not so much knew, I'd met her a few times, when she was selling flowers. Nice girl... too nice honestly. I almost didn't like her."

Reno scoffed, "I know the feeling, some people are just way too nice." He then chuckled and went back to putting his full attention into flying.

Rude, just ignored the two of them completely thoughout the whole trip.

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