"Boy, I sure am happy today!" he said with zest. Bert looked at him with confusion. He had the opinion of favoring cloudy days instead of clear and sunny ones. "Because today, I'm gonna test out my new sub-machine gun!"
'So that's why he's so chipper this morning,' Bert thought as he took out his book. Just then, a grin spread across his yellow face.
"Say, Ernie, is it okay if I join you to test out your new gun?" Bert asked. Ernie nodded. "Of course, Bert ol' buddy of mine! Nothing makes a weapon test better than with a buddy." So, the two head off for the park, which wasn't far off from their apartment.
"Ah, here at last." Ernie said as he loaded a clip into the gun. "Now to find some crips to clip." He asked Bert to scope the west part of Sesame Park, while he scoped eastwards. He soon caught sight of a young girl with elastic powers. "Hey, it's that Arle Nadja bitch from the last fic!" he said as he aimed his gun at her breasts. When he fired though, they bounced right off her boobs.
"Well, Ernie, we're screwed..." he said as some cops from Bonanza Bros. came in and pulled out their guns. "YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON!" he yelled as he put his gun up to Bert's nose. It was a Riot Guard, with the shield. He was angry because (a. they had guns (b. shooting people (c. hadn't fapped in years.
"Sir, we were doing this not for recreation, but for EDUCATION." Ernie fibbed as he polished his sub-machine gun. The Riot Guard looked at Ernie with vengeance in his nonexistent eyes. "Still, YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON!" he shouted as he pulled out a police bat and attempted to thwack Ernie's head, unsuccessfully though.
"Just think what the folks at Harvard or Yale would say about our current pursuits." Ernie tried to convince, but Riot Guard just wasn't buyin' it.
"Freudian Shootings, a new league of sciences!" the orange man exclaimed as he tossed his arms up in the air, gun still present. A Green Cop looked at the Riot Leader and said, "I went to Harvard AND Yale for this job, so he has a point." Riot Leader struggled to understand the metaphysics of spiritual mechanics and ran off, leaving Green Cop and his Blue compadres with the educational duo named Ernie and Bert.
"The name is Louie, nice to meet ya." the green cop shook hands with Ernie. "So, Louie, do you have any experience in war tactics?" Ernie asked. Louie shook his head. "Well, if we can just find another female,
we'll show you the 'Attract Kill'. It's when you kill the most attractive woman on the battlefield so you can focus on killing the utter shit out of your foes." Bert explained. Louie actually that was rather insensitive and quite sexist for the pair, so he offed himself.
"Pass the blunt will ya?" asked Bert. They laughed.