Lily Evans had never particularly liked James Potter. Actually, that was the understatement of the century. Lily Evans had only ever hated James Potter. To her he was nothing but an arrogant jerk. However, lately, the only time she could manage to get him out of her fiery, red head was when she was reading – hence, why she spent so much time cooped up in the school library.
One particularly warm afternoon in her seventh year, Lily was heading along the charms corridor in direction of her favourite place when a very small man, coming up only to her waist, stepped out in front of her.
"Watch out, Miss Evans! You almost walked straight into me!" Flitwick squeaked, books pouring from his arms.
"Sorry, Sir." Lily moved a strand of hair from her eyes before bending down to pick up a quill that had fallen from the pile in his arms "There you go."
"That's right, just balance it on the top...Did you find Mr Potter?"
At this, Lily lifted her head so fast her neck snapped "What?"
"James Potter was looking for you in the transfiguration courtyard before breakfast this morning...Mr Black seemed to be finding it all very amusing. Then again, that boy finds everything amusing."
"Oh...erm...Sir...If you see him, could you not tell him where I am?"
Flitwick chuckled "Sorry, but I'm afraid it could be too late..."
"Why? What do you-"
"Hey, Evans!" A bright voice sounded down her ear and she winced.
"Goodbye, Potter, Evans..."
"Bye, Sir." James said loudly.
Lily began to walk quickly, vaguely hoping he'd lose interest. Unfortunately, he did not.
"How did you find me?" She grumbled, pulling out a three inch book from her brown leather handbag.
"Evans...please don't underestimate me. I know you hate sunshine...you get burnt. You prefer rain and on a hot day there is nothing you like more than coming into the library, opening a window and starting a new book. I also know that you won't leave the library until you finish that book because your roommates annoy the hell out of you with their late homework and gossip. Therefore, wondering along this corridor is the only place you could possibly be on a Saturday morning at, say, 10 o'clock when we didn't get any homework yesterday but to revise. I'd say you were going to go and get a book on transfiguration seeing as, although you're almost as good as me, it's your weakest subject. Am I right or am I right?"
Lily stared. "Stalker."
"Nope, I'm simply well informed."
She raised an eyebrow "So why, if you know me so well, were you looking for me in the transfiguration courtyard this morning?"
"Sirius thought you might be there. You're always grumpy in the morning so I figured I'd better just go along with him...give you time to wake up. I'm nice, really."
Lily scoffed "You're also a complete and utter twat."
"I agree."
"Besides, you don't know anything about me in the morning. I get up early."
"I know...if you lay in for a while then you might be a bit happier by breakfast."
"Shut up Potter."
"No thank you."
They entered the stone library, James with an easy grin on his face and Lily with a pained frown on hers.
"Can I ask you a question?" James whispered, as Lily headed over to the third bookcase and stood on her tip-toes to replace the thick book she had previously been holding.
"What?" She hissed.
"Why don't you like me?"
Lily's eyes widened in disbelief "Is this a joke?"
"Evidently not...simply a question."
"That. That right there is why I hate you. The way you saunter round thinking everybody is of a lower class to you. The way you nag at me to go on a date with you. The way you treat girls like they're a pile of crap. The way you always think you're right." Lily's voice was rising astonishingly, causing a fourth year Ravenclaw to turn around and give her a filthy look. "You're an arrogant, ignorant, self-obsessed, egotistic little rat. I don't dislike you, Potter, I hate you."
James' eyes widened slightly, but apart from that small change in his expression and the pitch of Lily's voice, you'd never had of guessed they were discussing anything more than the weather.
"You...hate me?"
"Yes."
James shrugged, pushing his hands down deep into his trouser pockets "Okay...fine. I won't ask you out ever again. Let's just see how you like it."
Lily rolled her eyes, but did nothing more as James picked up his school bag and walked right out of the huge oak doors.
...
Sirius Black was leaning against a pine tree in a clearing near the forest with a third year Ravenclaw beside him. He was quite happy really; fourteen year olds weren't normally up for this kind of thing.
"Do you want to do it then? It's always good outdoors." He asked, moving a piece of hair from her face.
The girl had blonde hair and freckles, she smiled but as she went to open her mouth she was interrupted.
"I wouldn't, if I was you." A female voice spoke from the shadows, and a tall, dark haired girl came into view.
The third year looked up, bright red "What?"
"Doing it outdoors is rubbish...and he's carrying Chlamydia."
The third year winced "He's carrying what?"
Hestia Jones smiled "It's incurable. A muggle disease that's carried in bodily fluids...If you get my drift. He sleeps with lots of muggles, does Sirius."
The girl shot Sirius a filthy look before picking up her jumper and running into the trees, completely out of view.
"What did you have to go and do that for? You absolute bitch."
Hestia smiled, and shrugged, leaning against a tree "I thought it might've been fun. It sort of was, actually."
"Anyway, you don't know what you're talking about...Chlamydia is curable."
"Speaking from experience, are we, Mr Black?"
"I don't have Chlamydia!"
"I know, but that was so much fun."
"Bitch."
"Sirius, please. You don't think you deserved that? All I did was stop you from having sex...you ruined my life."
"I didn't do that on purpose."
"Really? That's a new excuse."
"Hestia...don't do this. You know I didn't make you..."
"You got me fucking pregnant. What choice did I have? I was fifteen. Fifteen. I hadn't even started my O.W.L's when I found out. How could I bring up a baby?"
Sirius frowned "I don't know."
"I went to St Mungo's, you know – as soon as I found out. I wanted a scan. They told me it would be born on July the third. Then I asked them to get rid of it. Do you know what date it is today? July the fucking third."
Her eyes were watering and tears were leaking down her tanned face "She'd be two, Sirius...two years old."
Sirius could never normally deal with crying girls...Hestia, however, was an exception. He stood up, and although he knew she'd protest at first, wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." He whispered into her dark curls, knowing that although she'd never forgive him for putting her into that situation, at least she understood he would never wish her any harm.
He hadn't wanted this. He'd wanted his first child to be loved and adored...not killed. Sirius Black would never ever meet his first child, and he'd never, ever forget that date.
July the third.
...
James Potter normally loved attention. He'd walk down the corridor and the girls would swoon over him and his muscles and he would smile at them.
He loved attention, but he'd only ever loved one girl.
That one girl hated him.
He didn't understand. He honestly tried his best, and now it was time to give up. What else could he do?
Heading towards the forest where he knew his best friend would be, he prayed they hadn't got it on too early. Far too many times had James walked in to see Sirius being entertained.
The clearing was speckled with warm sunlight that James felt on his tanned face. Right at the edge, Sirius was holding Hestia Jones in his arms, a solemn look on his face.
Sighing, James turned around, deciding he'd better find Remus.
He walked up past Hagrid's hut, nodding in acknowledgment towards Frank Longbottom and across the viaduct, praying that by some miracle, Remus might be in the Great Hall.
The courtyard was almost deserted due to the lack of wind, making almost every member of the student body want to be out by the lake or, in Sirius' case, wanting to be having sex. Then again, everything made Sirius want to have sex.
James made his way through the entrance hall and, seeing the empty great hall, made his way up the stair case.
How on earth did he end up in such a state? And what was all this crap about not asking her out? James spent pretty much all of his life with thoughts of that particular red headed girl floating around his brain. What on earth had he done?
"Well, hello there Jamesie." An amused voice said from behind him, making him jump round about three metres in the air.
"Oh shit, Moony. Was that necessary?"
"Was what necessary? You shouldn't be so self involved."
"Where've you been?"
Remus looked behind him to a portrait of an elderly witch wearing silver robes "Library."
"Oh...Listen, I was looking for you."
Remus raised his eyebrows "Oh?"
James messed with his hair absently "Yeah...I fucked up big time."
Ignoring the swearing, Remus smiled "Lily?"
"Yes. She hates me."
"Well, yes?"
"Remus...I ...I'm in love with her."
Without breaking stride, James' best friend continued to walk up the next flight of stairs "Really?"
"Always have been."
"Good."
"Sorry?"
"It's good you've finally realised. Eventually, she'll come around."
James stared, incredulous, at the back of his friend's head "What? Are you joking? Did you not here me? She hates me."
Remus jumped the top step and turned to face James "Who do you hate?"
"Moony, will you please make sense. I figured you'd take it a bit more seriously than Sirius."
Remus smiled "Answer the question...who do you hate?"
"Fine. Snape, I suppose."
"No...you don't."
"Yes I do. I always have done."
"Okay, you dislike Snape one hell of a lot...don't we all? No, who have you felt so strongly about that you've actually felt the blood in your veins heat up as it moves around your body because of something they've said?"
"Lily."
"Exactly."
"What? I don't get it."
"Think about it...there's a whole load of emotions out there all jumbled up. Some are stronger than others. The two fiercest feelings though, are love and hate and there's a thin line between them. Therefore, you can't have one without the other."
"I still don't understand."
"Bloody hell, do you want me to spell it out for you?"
"Please."
Remus leant against the wall beside the Fat Lady, a smile growing on his lips "You can't hate someone unless you've loved them. Back to the original point...Lily hates you. If she really does hate you, she's also in love with you...seriously, in love with you."
"Okay then...if that's true, then how come people can be in love without hating the person they're in love with?"
"You're in love with Lily, you also hate her. They come together, a package, if you will."
James was thoughtful for a moment, before looking up "You talk a load of bollocks."
Remus smiled "Okay then...just saying...you might want to remember how much Lily means to you in approximately fifteen seconds?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Turn around."
James frowned, but did as he was told.
"Ah, look who it is. Wolf boy and Rotty Potty. Tell me, where's your girlfriend, Rotty? Oh, yeah, she hates you. You don't have a girlfriend because you're not even good enough to go out with a mudblood." Severus Snape sneered, walking up the wooden staircase with his hands deep in his pockets.
James flinched, "You bastard. You don't know anything about me...or her."
"Funny...she spoke to me before I realised she was scum...she's never liked you though, has she?"
"Just...Piss of. Please."
"Is James Potter seriously using manners? What's happened? Evan's rejected you again, has she?"
James wanted nothing more than to pull out his wand and hex the little scumbag into next week. However, part of him just could not do it. After all, what was the point?
"Yeah...I've blown it with her. She hates me, I love her. I'm heartbroken and I can't blame her. It's my fault completely. Rub it in if you like."
Severus just stared, his mouth slightly open.
"Bye, Snape." James turned around, muttered the password and headed inside. Without looking behind him, he headed up the stairs and sat down on his four poster: head in hands.
Somewhere, he heard a door close and a weight beside him. Expecting Remus' weight and musky smell, he was shocked when he caught a whiff of something lighter, more floral.
Slowly, he lifted his head to see a frowning red-haired girl sat beside him "You're a dickhead. You do know that, don't you?"
"Yes."
"And you know that you're as much as arse as Black?"
"Oh come on..."
"You're an arse Potter. Seriously."
"Yeah, but...Sirius? Come on, I'm still a bloody virgin!"
Lily's eyes widened "What?"
James smirked "Unbelievable eh?"
"Yup."
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for everything. I shouldn't be such a pillock but I...I know this sounds pathetic, but I can't help it. I just turn into this absolute...dickhead."
Lily smiled "That bad am I?"
"No, you're just beautiful. It sets something ff inside me that I really can't control and I feel like I have to be a twat."
"Well...I apologise."
James laughed shortly "Me too."
They sat silently for a moment, before Lily turned to face him "Why didn't you hex him...or hit him or anything?"
"Because there's no pint anymore. He's a fucking greasy bastard but there's just no point, you know?"
Lily stared, her eyes wide "James Potter..."
He rose his eyebrows "Yes, Lily Evans?"
"I really hate you, but right now, you're not being such an arrogant moron."
"Have you ever heard Remus' theory about love?"
Lily smiled, her cheeks turning slightly pink "The one about hate and love? Yeah, I told him about that in fourth year."
James grinned "Lily Evans...are you telling me that you hate me?"
Lily looked the opposite way "Idiot."
"Ha, this is unbelievable!" James laughed, messing up his hair.
"Take that stupid grin off your face. There are exceptions to every theory."
James smiled "Am I an exception."
Lily faced the boy she had despised for several years "You've always been the exception in my life, Potter, and you always will be."
"Always?"
Lily smiled "Like I'm ever going to get rid of you."
"Fair point."
"Do you want to...you know, go for a walk?"
"Evans...are you asking me out?"
"No Potter, I'm asking you to go for a walk."
James smiled, before putting his hand over hers "No. I want you to stay here and tell me whether or not I'll ever have a chance with you."
Sighing, Lily began to explain. She told him everything. She explained how she used to hate him, why she used to hate him and how she ended up wishing he was dead. She explained how she couldn't get him out of her head and how hard it was to force all of these feeling to the back of her mind.
When she'd finished, James glanced at her with a bemused look on his face. She opened her mouth but unfortunately she never got to say whatever it was, because James was kissing her. He was kissing her with more force than she thought was possible but she was certainly putting up a good fight in return.
They lay there for a long time in each other's arms, wrapped up in each other, without a care in the world.
After seven years, Potter and Evans had finally agreed on one thing – they were uncontrollably and ridiculously in love with one another.
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