AN: This is my First ER fic. I called it serendipity because it means "the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident." Obviously Abby finding out she was pregnant was a "fortunate discovery" so to speak, and I'm pretty sure it was an accident ;). Anyways, this is a first attempt, tell me what you think and if I should continue or not! Thanks!

REPOSTED January 19, 2006

ADDED: Ok, I read all the reviews! Thanks so much guys. I've taken your advice into account and changed a few things, the purchases (I still left in a few just cuz I felt like it ;)), the print outs the spelling and verb tenses. You can re read it if you want, it's pretty much the same. As for the name: oops! Didn't realize someone had already used it, I'm pretty new to the ER fanfic. Thanks so much for all the advice!

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Serendipity: An Abby/Luka fanfiction

Chapter 1: Coping

My stomach was doing back flips as I walked briskly to Dr. Janet Coburn's OB clinic on 35th street. The chilly air nipped angrily at my face but it didn't bother me in the least. I was already too numb to feel anything else. I wasn't sure that Luka even understood, but then again maybe he understood best of all.

I was terrified that he had essentially left the decision up to me. Though he had told me he wanted nothing more than to have a baby with me, he had also instructed me to do what I felt was right. Even as I made my way up to the clinic I wasn't sure what right was…

I pushed the door open and quickly found a vacant seat next to a woman clutching a young baby. I threw her a timid smile as I sat down. I glanced around and saw women at various stages in their pregnancies. Some, like me, bore expressions of confusion and I was certain they too were making the decision I was about to make. Others looked radiant, with expanding bellies looming precariously in their laps. I felt my heart squeeze as I watched a group of small children playing. I could have that; I could love one of those.

I had to laugh at myself, it was funny how I could consider having a child. I worked crazy hours, so did Luka. We'd hardly even see the baby! But then again, Luka and I had done this and I wasn't really getting any younger here. Thirty seven, if I wanted to have a child now was be the time. I gently touched my abdomen. It felt swollen and stiff, it felt different. It was hard to imagine that a human being was growing there, that a tiny baby could come out of me! I felt a strange connection to this little ball of cells and I knew, I just knew. Perhaps I wouldn't be the best mother, but Luka would be there to help me. I couldn't give up this little being. I would become a mother.

A voice broke through my thoughts, "Abigail Lockhart."

I stood up, my legs trembling, this was it. It was now or never and I had decided. I was keeping this child, I was having this baby.

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45 minutes later, I left the clinic clutching an appointment card and vitamins. I wasn't ready to go home yet; I wasn't ready to face Luka's excitement. I wandered casually to a quiet part of Chicago and looked out over the water that lapped lazily at the banks.

Though part of me was hesitant I knew I had made the right decision. I moved closer to the water and strolled through the sand. It was chilly and the water was a deep blue, raging across the horizon. I tightened my arms around my chest as a cold wind blew and I thought about what I'd done. In seven months I'd be holding a baby. I'd have to forget about anything that concerned me and take care of this new baby.

In some ways I was excited, this baby would be something that I would love unconditionally and that would love me in return. In other ways I was terrified, what if I was wrong? What if I couldn't take care of this baby, what if I can't love it right? What if I couldn't be a mother?

I trekked upwards, away from the water and settled myself on a bench. I watched as people passed me by without a second glance. It troubled me that I had just made the most important decision of my life and no one seemed to notice. I sat quietly and gazed out over the water, fiddling absently with the items in my hands. I'd have to change, I'd have to eat healthy, exercise more, the works.

My thoughts were broken as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and looked up to see Luka standing behind me. His expression hid what he was feeling as he tried to talk to me. He tried to tell me what I had done was ok. For a moment I was confused, and then I caught on,

"Luka, I couldn't do it. I want us to have this baby."

It was as though I'd told him he'd won the lottery. His face lit up and he sat down next to me, wrapping me in a giant hug. I couldn't help but smile as I saw how happy I had made him.

I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek as he finally spoke,

"Abby, you have no idea how happy you've made me."

I smiled then shrugged, "I don't know Luka. I'm pretty happy myself."

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I sat at the kitchen counter toying with the phone cord and waiting for my pizza to be delivered. Once again I was awake, and starving. Leaning back in the chair, I smiled as I looked around the room. Maybe screwing in the back room of a baby department store but look what it had gotten me, a bassinet, a few maternity tops. Hey it was early but I'd need them eventually. I tapped the table lightly with my index finger; so far this pregnancy hadn't been bad at all. Heck, if it stayed like this pregnancy wouldn't be half bad.

I'd gotten a lot to think about in the past few days. The baby for example, could become babies! For goodness sakes I was not ready for twins. I wasn't even ready for one baby! And hiding the baby from other people, it would become hard, especially when I started to gain weight. I poked my stomach, it was bumpyish. Janet had said I was likely 10 weeks pregnant and that in 2 weeks I could come in for an ultrasound. That would be exciting, that would make it re…

A knock broke through my thoughts. I hurried to the door, expecting to find a pizza man but finding a red eyed, dripping Neela. She looked as though she'd been crying and rain dripped from her hair to her shoulders. I ushered her in quickly, not thinking. The minute I ushered her in, I froze.

Oh…crap…baby stuff.

Neela turned to me, her eyes wide with disbelief. "You…you and Kovac? Oh, you are kidding me."

She sank wearily into one of the kitchen chairs while I squeaked,

"Neela, what are you doing here?"

She looked miserable, "I couldn't find you at your apartment so I came here. It's pretty obvious you and Kovac have a thing. Though I can't say I expected to find…well to find this!"

I sank into the chair across from her and buried my head in my hands, "Neela you weren't supposed to know. Not now at least."

She nodded, zipping her lips to indicate she could keep the secret. I rose again at a second knock and retrieved my pizza, offering it to Neela before I took my own slice.

"So Neela," I said around a mouthful "What are you doing here?"

She suddenly looked tearful again, "It's Micheal, he…he wants to go back. He wants to go back to Iraq."

I wouldn't have been more surprised if she had hit me over the head with a frying pan. "What! I thought you were married, I thought he'd said it was over!"

She was nodding, a lone tear slipped down her cheek "He did, but he can't help it. He wants to go back."

I squeezed her shoulder gently "Oh Neela, I'm sorry."

She nodded and managed to smile, "So you and Kovac huh?"

I felt my cheeks flush a deep purple as I nodded.

"A baby too?"

As she finished her sentence Luka walked into the kitchen in pajamas,

"Neela…um Hi. I think…I'll just go back…ok" He turned and left.

I let a small chuckle escape and noticed Neela was trying to contain her laughter. "You and Kovac." She mused as she stood up

"Anyways I better go, I have to talk to Micheal, thanks for listening."

I gave her a gentle hug and ushered her to the door, bidding her good luck.

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I returned to the bedroom and slipped in beside Luka. He turned over,

"Neela knows?"

I nodded and held out the pizza, "Want some?"

He took some and I settled myself against his chest as he ate. "Luka, what are we going to do with a baby?"

He shrugged, "What do you want to do with it? It's a baby."

I punched him lightly, "You know what I meant Luka."

"Well, you take care of it. You can't do much with it until it grows up. You just make sure it's happy and healthy."

I sighed, what if I couldn't do that? I wasn't nurturing, I wasn't loving…I couldn't be a mother. I turned away from Luka and pulled the covers up to my chin. I felt him push his body against mine and drape his arm over my shoulder. I intertwined my fingers with his and settled into bed trying to fall asleep.

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TBC?