I love you. Three little words. Three little words I couldn't say. I am alone. Not really, I mean, I have Roxas, and Roxas is fine, of course. But he has a girlfriend, Naminè, who loves him so much. I have friends.
Not that Roxas isn't a good friend, or anything like that. But I had run into them a few times while they were alone. I had seen them kiss and heard them whisper those three little words. I felt my heart twinge with envy.
I really do have one now, ever since I rejoined with Sora. And when Roxas and Naminè rejoined with Sora and Kairi, they remembered me. They comforted me, and we played together. We're friends. Roxas is my friend, but he's just not him.
I had talked to Naminè about it. After all, she was a girl, I was a girl (I'm still confused by those mechanics, because I came from Sora,) so wouldn't it work out? I told her all about him, and she tried to comfort me, but it was no use. I had seen him die.
I can recall how he looked as he faded away, not just saving one friend, but two. And I had cried. I hadn't affected Sora, but the tears shed. I was losing him, he was leaving me now. In barely a minute he was gone. I never got to say goodbye, tell him how I felt. I never said those three little words, the words that made my heart sing, but now they made it hurt. I love you.
Why hadn't I told him that? I remember his face when I convinced him to let me go. I hadn't wanted to go, but I did. He was shocked, as was I. And I never said goodbye. I never said those three little words¸ the words whatever I had within me begged to say. I love you.
He was gone now. Sora and his friends had succeeded quiet a while ago. It had been about two months since he'd returned home. Two months without him.
"Axel." I whisper the name, heavy on my tongue. I sit alone on my own platform, Roxas on his. Sora is alone right now, so Roxas isn't with Naminè. I could go visit him, but I don't want to. No… I'm too busy swimming in my own thoughts. I'm holding my knees to my chest as I quiver.
I miss him. I miss the way his flaming red hair could manage to stay upright even after falling face first into a river (Roxas tripped him.) I miss his laugh that could lift any heart, any spirit, even the nonexistent ones within Nobodies and Replicas. Replicas like me, created by Vexen.
He knew I was a Replica, a being that wasn't anything, not even a Nobody. But he didn't care. I miss his strong voice, his guiding hands, his fire that had kept me curious and entertained for so long. I miss his warm arms around my frame, one day when Roxas wasn't there. He had whispered soothing, comforting things in my ear, and I had felt something in my chest flutter like a butterfly. And I never said those three little words.
Then, I see something familiar. A staircase, leading upwards. I close my eyes and concentrate on Sora and see him eating at a seaside café with Kairi, holding hands beneath the table. I sigh, open my eyes, and walk to the stairs and then upwards to a platform of many cascading colors and an image of Sora, Riku, and Kairi, walking together, laughing. Then, Roxas is there.
"Xion, you're here?" He asks.
"Yeah," I reply, "why so shocked?"
"You never join us," he says. "You just sit alone."
I realize what he's getting at. "Yeah. I just felt like coming." Then, we see Naminè.
"Hello, Roxas, Xion." She greets. She doesn't point out the fact that I never come here with them.
I force a grin. "Hello, Naminè." I say. We talk for a bit, when I notice a door. "What's that?" I ask, and my friends turn to look. It's a door, pure white. The Nobody symbol is carved into it.
"I have no idea." Roxas replies. "Should we go see?"
I think about it, and then nod. "At least to know what's on the other side." I say. It would be a distraction from my thoughts about Axel and those three little words I never said. I shut it out of my thoughts. I stood up, straightening my coat. Out of all three of us, I'm the only one who wears an Organization coat. The thought about the Organization makes me think of Axel, which I quickly suppress. He's gone. End of story. But my heart throbs. I miss him so much.
Roxas walks over to the door, opens it, and steps through. Naminè walks through, right behind him. Then, I walk over and through. We end up in a blank white place, until I take another step and find I'm in a beautiful garden. Then, I see someone nearby, two people, actually, sitting on a bench. When we get close enough to see who it is, Naminè whimpers, grabs Roxas's hand, and takes a step closer to him. Then, I see them. Marluxia and Larxene.
I'm shocked, and I think Roxas is too. "Marluxia? Larxene?" He gasps. The duo looks over at us, eyes wide.
"Roxas? Naminè?" Marluxia asks. Then, he spots me. "Xion?" I'm confused. Why does he seem pleasantly surprised? Then, I hear another voice.
"Guys, I've left you alone for an hour. Are you do-" Then, he walks in, and my heart stops. It can't be… we've stumbled upon… where Nobodies go when they fade.
Roxas speaks the name I couldn't. "Axel?" It's him. I've been sobbing and crying for him since I watched him fade, and now he's here in front of me.
"Roxas? Naminè?" He asks, and then sees me. He squints, as if trying to remember me. But he must remember something. I feel a stray tear run down my face as he asks, "Who are you?"
"You… you don't… remember me?" I manage to choke out. He shakes his head, and I feel more tears begin to stream down my face. "Axel…" I cry softly.
Roxas steps closer and takes my arm. I feel faint, and everything around me is disappearing. Everything except for him. I cry his name again. My throat is tight, and I can scarcely breathe.
"Please…" I beg, crying so hard it feels like rivers are flowing out of my eyes. "Please remember me. It's me, Xion. We met after you came home from Castle Oblivion, after we had thought you were dead. We went on missions together, and we were friends. We played a lot, and you would play with your fire in front of me, and I always thought it was interesting." I didn't realize it, but I was walking towards him.
"You defended me from Saïx's cruel remarks. You helped me when I needed you, and you always guided me home, even when I didn't want to come back. You tried to keep me by your side, and I stayed as long as I could.
"And then I left to rejoin with Sora. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to. And I thought of you when I sat alone, by myself. I still thought of you when Roxas joined me. You were always in my thoughts, Axel. I never forgot you. Then, I had to watch you fade. I guess I could have blocked it out, but how could I?" I was only three feet away from him now.
"And I never got to tell you what I wanted. That I didn't always think of you as a friend, that you meant more to me, that you were important to me. I never told you the three little words that always floated around in my head." I wrap my arms around him; bury my face in his chest. "I love you, Axel. I love you so much." I'm sobbing so hard now. It's still silent, like we're alone. Then, I realize we are alone.
It's the clock tower where we'd always sit together. The place where he had comforted me so often before. I'm still crying when I hear him again. "Xion…" Axel tilts my head up so I'm looking right into his bright green eyes. He wipes away my tears. "Please don't cry." Then, I see it in his eyes. He knows me. He really does know me.
"You…" I try to say, but he breaks me off.
"I remember you, Xion. Everything we did together, everything I did for you, all you did for me." His arms are around me now. "Those three little words were always with me too." Before I can reply, his lips are on mine briefly. "I love you, Xion. I love you so much." He murmurs softly. I'm not crying anymore. It's Axel. Axel is here, I'm in his arms, and I love him so much.
"Axel…" I whisper and he kisses me again, longer. "I'll always love you. Forever." For when you're in the next life, forever is eternal. He repeats what I say, and then, in this recreation of the clock tower, where we shared so many memories, he kisses me once more.