High Times On the Downtime by EvilBloodGnome
There was a rustle in the bushes. Something in the undergrowth was writhing forward, its trace barely noticeable. There was a pause as it stopped, apparently allowing the local wildlife to settle down. It started up again after some time had passed. Any rookie could acclimate themselves to an unfamiliar place, it took a master to let a new place acclimate itself to you.
Not far off the Chosen's group was camping on the Ozette side of the Gaoracchia Forest. Things were tense; Colette had managed to get herself kidnapped again. Presea was split from the rest of the group, looking out towards the ruins of Ozette. Regal and Genus were not too far behind her, the former gazing at her wistfully and the latter glaring at Regal, too much of a coward to go to the poor girl. Lloyd, Sheena, and Zelos were tending to the campfire while Raine fiddled with her books and something they had found during their last expedition.
"I gotta say," Zelos touted while Sheena was tending to a black iron pot with rice in it over the fire. "Those tits you got are fantastic, Sheena."
"WHAAAAAT?" she screeched, standing up quickly and knocking the rice into the fire. She didn't seem to notice. "What the hell gives you the right to say that?"
"Oh, Zelos, you're so nasty," Lloyd chided. "Like, if there was some sort of nastiness competition about how nasty people could be, you'd, like, um... they have those, right?"
"Straight up, yo. Unless one of those furry Katz entered. I mean, if I could tell which ones had the tits I'd totally lay down the lovin', but you can't stick a disco-stick through a fursuit," said Zelos, flicking his long ruby hair back with flair.
"Goddammit, Zelos, if you talk about m-my... my br-breasts one more time I'll summon Gnome to come see where he can hide his shovel!" shouted Sheena, her face turning red.
"Woah, like, what? Disco-stick? Is it something you eat?" asked Lloyd.
"A disco-stick, I believe, scientifically, is a stick they use to start discos, Lloyd," said Raine suddenly and coolly, "And now that you know, would you all STOP BICKERING AND MAKE SOME DAMN FOOD? How am I supposed to figure out what kind of magitechnology this is if I can't even hear myself think?"
Back in the bushes where was a beeping sound of something going off, but surprisingly nothing noticed. There was a gruff voice that answered it, but again, nothing seemed to notice. It was as if the whole world was on pause while the following happened, which didn't seem to surprise the participants.
"Otacon, what am I looking at?" said a gruff, hushed voice as he switched off his Solid Eye and turned on his codec.
"Snake! You made it through the portal! How is it over there?" replied Otakon in a high-pitched voice that had begun to irritate Snake ever since the 90's.
"I'm fine. I just don't know why they felt like they had to pull my crotchety ass out of retirement to stick me in some portal some spectacled nerd in Egypt made out of some rocks. Why not send Raiden?"
"Well, they had planned to send Kurt Russell but they couldn't afford him. And Jack couldn't go because of nanomachines Patriots solid liquid nanomachines."
Snake grumbled. Fucking plot coupons, he thought to himself. "Fine. Just tell me what I'm looking at, Otakon."
"I don't know, Snake, they haven't gotten the Mark II through yet. You'll just have to hold tight," Hal squeaked back.
Snake closed his codec. Dammit. It's all he needed, to be stuck on the other side of some portal watching some dumb kids argue over nothing. It was going to be a long night, so he pulled out his Operator and started to caress it.
"Mmmm...," he mumbled to himself, rubbing its blued metal against his scarred cheek. "That's good gun..."
Dawn broke. Raine still hadn't figured out what sort of item what they had found was, having stayed up the whole night trying. Regal was making breakfast, sitting in front of the fire and skillet with a spatula held dexterously in one food as the other held a knife.
"Like, woah, dude, like, how do you do that? I bet your mother was a monkey or something?" asked (again) Lloyd, scratching his head in wonder.
"No, Lloyd. I simply have a lot of practice," he replied flatly.
"Eeeww, why do we let Regal cook when he does that? He's going to get toe jam in the eggs!" screeched (again) Sheena.
"Like, if I could do that, I'd use it to do six chicks at the same time: two for the hands, one on my face, one on my wiggle weasel, and two for each foot," Zelos said, smiling widely and wiggling all his fingers and tongue.
"I believe that a wiggle weasel is like those badgers we keep running into that turn into bears," Raine said.
"Like, dude, um, woah. You've been up all night Professor. You should, like, get some rest," Lloyd said, putting his hands on his hips.
"And what, who's going to cast Identify on the Magitechnology or make their Spellcraft check? Genus? Everyone knows sorcerers suck!" she yelled, jumping up and planting her foot right into Lloyd's chest, sending him flying.
"Wh-wha-.." he stammered. "You should at least like get some food or sleep!"
"Ring of Sustenance, dillweed," she chided, crossing her arms.
Back in the bushes, Snake was cleaning his peice. The oiled its slide so that the action glided smoothly. He cocked it back and squeezed a few dry fires off. Making sure no one was looking, he brought it up to his mouth, licking it to the tip. Out of nowhere there was a beeping from his codec.
"Otakon, what do you want?"
"Snake! Do you see what's going on? It looks just like something from one of my Japanese animes!"
"...that's good to know, Otakon. Have you figured out what I'm looking at yet?"
"Well, I heard that white-headed woman say 'magitechnology' a few times. Maybe they can use magic here!"
"...Magic? Otakon, seriously."
"Yes, Snake! Magic!"
"Magic?"
"Magic."
"...Magic?"
"Yeah! Magic! I wonder if they have any real magical girls around here..."
"So fine. They can do magic here. What the hell am I doing?"
"Just keep surveying the situation, Snake! I'm going to try to get the Mark II sent through so I can look for cute witch girls or neko gi-," he almost said before Snake got fed up and shut his codec. Well, more laying around. He turned his iPod to Oishii Two-han Seikatsu and lit up a menthol to pass the time and tried to get comfortable.
Genus returned to the camp after going into the woods to take a dump. Scanning for Presea he saw Lloyd and Raine yelling about feat selection or something and Zelos trying to force himself on Sheena again. Regal was sitting and playing solitaire with his feet and Sheena's cards. He saw Presea about 15 yards off from the group just sort of staring nowhere like a robot without any commands issued, so he started walking in that direction, but something caught his eye. The artifact Raine was messing with looked like a kendama, only it had a cup and a ball rather than a hammer-looking thing! Plus, it was shiny! He ran to it and snatched it up. Immediately he thought he knew what it did, so he shouted "HEY EVERYONE LOOK!"
"...don't care what precision damage or bonus damage enchantments you have, Lloyd, Two Weapon Fighting is just inferior to Two-Handed-... GENUS, NO! You don't know what it will d-" before she could finish, he had already started.
"Yeah, alright! GET 'EM!" He hoisted the ball and cup up into the air. For a moment, nothing happened. He had felt 30 of his TP go away, so he waited. Everyone seemed to relax for a second, seemingly nothing happening.
Suddenly a dozen or so thick black tentacles the thickness of a strong man's arm sprung out of the ground, ripping out of the earth and shooting up into the air. They flailed around wildly and threateningly, grabbing a bird out of the air what was flying overhead and crushing in.
"What is this ominous mass that threatens to engulf us?" Regal said, disgusted and afraid.
Genus screamed like a little girl, falling down and crawling backwards. Lloyd drew his swords as he, Sheena, and Regal ran forth to do combat.
"Wait, everyone!" Raine shouted authoritatively. "I believe Genus just cast Evard's Black Tentacles, if my Spellcraft ranks are to be trusted. They should just leave us alone if we don't go near them, in which case they'll grapple us! The effect only lasts a few rounds, we're safe!"
"Huh...," Zelos muttered. He wondered... He slinked up behind Sheena, whispering in he ear. "Hey, baby. Will you do me a favor?"
"Martel's golden ass, what, Zelos?"
"Don't get mad, kay?"
"What do you mean by th-"
Zelos straight-arm shoved her forward, sending her face-first into the tentacles. Immediately they grappled her, sliding around her arms and legs and pulling her into the mass. Lifting her up high, they teared at her, her silk robes shredding like paper leaving her nearly nude as the tentacles spread her arms and legs wide a part, one wrapping around her neck and craning it back.
"Yes! Hahahaha, this is awesome!" Zelos gleefuly shouted, sticking his hand down his pants as he started to play with himself. "Hey, Raine, is there any way I can somehow feel what the tentacles are doing to her or something? I mean, I like watching some busty asian girl get violated by intruding tentacles as the next guy, but so long as we're getting into the kinky shit I wanna know what it's like."
She ignored him, quickly running to a book to try to figure out how to stop it. Regal and Lloyd has started attacking the tentacles, but they weren't doing much. Genus simply gazed up at it. He had never seen a woman nude before...
Snake's codec rang again.
"Otakon, seriously. What," he growled.
"Um... Snake? I will buy you the biggest gun I can if you just point the codec's camera over there right now."
"Mmm... gun... You got a deal, you sick freak."
"Woah!" Otakon said, turning red and tugging at his turtleneck's neck. "This is just like one of my Japanese hentais!"
Whatever, Snake thought, turning his J-pop up louder.
Sheena couldn't take it anymore. In a last ditch effort, she called at the forces bound to her. "Udine! Celsius! Luna! Sylph! Help me!" In a flash of blue and green light the summon spirits appeared to help. The six set upon the tentacles, but were grappled alongside her. As one of the smaller ones migrated up Udine's folds, she cried out.
"What? Seriously, fuck this shit, you're on your own, kid." With that, they all disappeared with a pop.
Zelos had by now taken his pants off completely, jerking furiously at his pale cock as the others tried to fight it off. The tentacles had completely stripped Sheena by now as several smaller tentacles had grown from the larger ones. The smaller ones, still around an inch and a half thick, were sliding against her shaved pussy and were curled around her breasts tight, yanking at them and teasing at her nipples. She was moaning, the pain great but the experience horrifyingly stimulating. She was getting wet, much to her dismay. As one tentacle toyed at her asshole and another forcing itself down her throat, something clicked as she let herself go, grinding her hips against the large writhing masses, hoping one would sneak its way in and take her. She was disgusted with herself, but she might as well try to enjoy it a little.
"YES! Work that shit, baby! Oh, Sheena, you look magnificent! My dick is like harder than it's ever been, and if you know me, that's really hard. I could club someone to death with this thing right now."
Surprisingly, Presea took action, although not one anyone saw coming. During her normal midday environmental scan she noted an anomaly in a nearby bush. "Statement: Anomalous disturbance in Bush 3412. Action protocol: Investigate." Briskly she walked over to the bush, swinging her axe horizontally like a scyth, clearing away the bush.
Underneath it was nothing, save for some disturbances in the soil and a smoldering menthol.
Not long after the tentacle spell's duration ended, the tentacles writhing back down into the earth. Sheena was left just laying there, sweaty, slimy, dirty, naked, and leaking the tentacles' juices from her mouth and her own from her twitching twat, too exhausted to try to cover herself. She was breathing heavy, looking at the people crowded around her with a look that begged for help.
Lloyd walked over to her and kneeled, holding his hand out for her to take it. "Come on, Sheena, let's get you cleaned up and heal-"
Before he could finish Zelos shoulder rammed into him, knocking him on his ass. Pointing his cock at her, he fapped at it, waiting. "Hummina hummina hummina hummina!" He came a strangely large amount of hot, viscous fluid spewing out and splattering her in her face and chest. "POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!" He did a little dance, smiling ear to ear and obviously very happy with himself. "Oh yeah! And that's why they call me Nasty!"
Everyone just stared at him. He didn't stop dancing.
The end!
OR IS IT? Tune in next time to see the gang track down the origin of the Black Tentacle Ball and Cup and Snake hoping that his next leap will be the leap home!