AN: For the Inspirational Quote Competition and the Potions Competition (Dogbane).
"Four things you can't recover: the stone after the throw, the word after it's said, the occasion after it's missed, and the moment after it's gone."- Deanna Wadsworth
I. The Stone
Sirius corners him, bruising hands digging into his brother's shoulder. "You're being stupid, Regulus," he hisses.
But Regulus wears the mask of apathy so well. He shrugs out of Sirius' grip, leaving the older boy grasping at air. "Don't know what you mean, brother," he says with the small grin that always gets him his way, but it doesn't work on Sirius.
"You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know what you're planning?"
The grin twists into a smirk, and Sirius wishes he could knock it off his brother's face.
"You're making a mistake! You are royally fucking up your life, and if you do this, you'll regret it."
"Speaking from experience, are you?" Regulus sneers. "Because last I checked, you're not on your way to sainthood any time soon."
"At least I'm not willing to sign my own death certificate!"
Sirius watches Regulus as he pushes past.
"Don't be so sure of that, Sirius."
II. The Word
"Let me see your arm."
"Piss off!"
Sirius reaches for him, but Regulus is faster. In a flash, he has his wand drawn and aimed at his brother's chest. Truthfully, he doesn't know if he'll actually use it, but it makes Regulus feel better to have the one advantage over his unarmed brother.
Still, Sirius has never been one to back down from a challenge, and he lunges, pushing Regulus' wand hand out of the way and tearing at his sleeve.
There, for all to see, is the skull and serpent forever burned into flesh. Bellatrix says he ought to wear it with pride, but Regulus feels the acidic shame knot his stomach.
"Regulus," Sirius says, his voice strained like his brother's name is choking him. "What have you done?"
Regulus tugs his arm away, hiding it behind his back even though his secret is out. "I hate you."
III. The Occasion
Regulus' Dark Mark is burned into Sirius' mind just as it's burned into his brother's skin. He had tried to save him. Even if it had meant blatantly attacking his brother verbally, he had hoped to bring Regulus back before it had been too late, before the Mark had tainted Regulus.
He had made plans and dreams. He rehearsed speeches that sounded more like Remus than himself. Anything to keep Regulus safe.
And now it is too late. Now Regulus is on the wrong side, and Sirius can't do a damn thing to bring him back.
If he'd tried harder.
If he hadn't accused Regulus.
If he had stayed home instead of running away.
Sirius shakes his head, trying to clear the regrets from his mind. He can't think this way.
It can't be too late. "There's always a way out."
IV. The Moment
Seeing Sirius hurts Regulus. He's fine and well, if desperate, while the younger of the two is a walking ball of frayed nerves.
"Let me help you."
Breaking or not, Regulus is still far too proud to accept an offered hand, to admit that he's been a fool. He scowls. "I don't need your help."
"Look at you, Reg. You're falling apart."
"I'm fine!" Regulus snaps, knowing he's so far from fine.
Fine doesn't stand guard while people are massacred. Fine isn't haunted by dead bodies and pleading screams every damn night. Fine isn't skin and bones and a nervous wreck.
"You can come over to our side. Albus will-"
"I'm fine."
OoOoO
Months later, water fills his lungs, and Regulus wonders if Sirius might have been right all along.
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