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SONIC Z
Created: May 5, 2009 – Completed: May 9, 2009 (Revised: April 7, 2013)
[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]
This is a parody of the anime "Sonic X," so enjoy.
(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)
Sonic Z episode 1
"It's Party Time!"
Sonic: (sleeping) Zzzzzzz…
Tails: SONIC!
Sonic: (opens one eye half-way) Huh, what do you want Tails?
Tails: Why haven't you been calling me lately? You know how lonely I get without you.
Sonic: (sighs and gets up) Tails… I know you've confessed your love to me 405,672 times, but this is the 405,673rd time. Please just move on to another lover.
Tails: (cries) You don't understand my feelings for you… I HATE YOU! [Runs away.]
Sonic: Fag…
Tails wakes up from the dream…
Tails: (wakes up) AAAAHHHH! [Looks around.] I'm not gay…
At Sonic's house, Sonic is on the phone with Knuckles.
Sonic: Hey Knux, what's up?
Knuckles: Oh nothing much homie just watching me some B.E.T.
Sonic: (sighs) Knuckles, stop trying to act black.
Knuckles: I am black yo, you feel me?
Sonic: (face palm) Whatever, just tell me when the party's gonna be… (beep!) Oh, hold on. I have another call. (click) Talk to me.
Amy: Hey my Blueberry filling.
Sonic: Oh… I'm guessing I filled you up nicely, didn't I?
Amy: Hell yeah, it tasted wonderful.
Sonic: Well, call me anytime if you need any help with cakes.
Amy: All right, talk to you later Sonic.
Sonic: See ya. (click) I'm back.
Knuckles: Yo, yo, yo I came up with a new dance!
Sonic: (hangs up)
Charmy: So, when's the party?
Sonic: …Your mom.
Tails arrives at Cream's house…
Cream: Hey Tails!
Tails: Hi Cream and Cheese.
Cheese: Chao!
[Cream and Tails sit down on the couch while Cheese makes tea for them.]
Tails: So, how are you Cream?
Cream: I'm fine it's just Amy recently.
Cheese: [Appears in front of them with their tea.]
Tails: Thanks, Cheese. What's wrong with her? (sips tea)
Cream: She's on her period.
Tails: (spits tea out) The hell?! Did I really need to know that? No!
[Someone knocks on the door.]
Cream: Be there in a minute. (turns to Tails) You know YOU were the one who asked how she was doing!
Tails: I didn't mean LIKE THAT! Be more subtle with what you say!
Cream: (yelling) SUBTLE?! YOU'RE THE ONE YELLING!
Tails: (yells and stands up) YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S YELLING AT ME!
[Knocking gets even louder.]
Cream: (gets mad) I'LL BE F*CKING RIGHT THERE! HOLD THE F*CK ON, B*TCH!
[Door gets bashed in with a giant hammer.]
Amy: (evil look) Who called me a "b*tch"?!
[Cream and Tails turn into small chibis.]
Cream: (scared) Um… no one.
Tails: (wets himself) Holy sh*t! 0.0
Amy: [Waves the hammer towards Cream.] (evil voice) Don't lie to me!
Cream: (wets herself)
Amy: (sighs) Never mind, just… clean yourselves up.
Cream and Tails: Ok…
On the phone… again.
Chris Thorndyke: Ok then, I'll see you at the party.
Espio: All right, I'll be there. [Ends call and continues walking.] (phone rings) Hello?
[Giggles and laughs in the background.]
Charmy: (disguises his voice) Do you want more action…
Espio: Hmm… I guess…
Charmy: (disguised voice) …in Bed?
Espio: What the f*ck?!
Vector: (clears his throat and disguises his voice) We are offering you a free penis pump. It's easy just put it on and pump away. You'll be satisfied and so well she when she sees your sea monster.
Espio: What the f*ck is this?!
Charmy and Vector: (laugh hard)
Espio: Charmy… Vector is that you?!
Charmy: (giggling) Call us at 1-800-… (snickers more) URPENIS (burst out laughing)
Espio: I'm gonna kill you two!
Vector: (hangs up) XD That was funny stuff, Charmy. Hahaha.
Espio: [Appears before them.] (evil glare)
Vector: Aww c'mon Espio we were just joking around. You don't have a small penis… do you?
Espio: (looks down) Damn you… Go-[Gets cut off.]
Just a few minutes before the party starts…
Knuckles: Hell yeah homie everyone's here. (gets the mic) What's up, everybody? Ready to get this sh*t started?!
[Everyone shouts out "Hell yeah."]
Knuckles: Let's get started. DJ spin that sh*t.
[Music starts bumping and beats loud.]
[Amy and Cream drinks booze.]
Amy: (hiccups) Hehehe this tastes so GOOD! (hiccups and is drunk)
Cream: Damn girl you're drunk that fast. (giggles)
Amy: (puts her arm around Cream's shoulder) Hell yeah, honey hehe. (drinks more)
Cream: (blushes and is drunk) (giggles)
Shadow: Bartender… give me another one. (burps)
Silver: Coming right up! [Gets the drinks, mixes them, shakes it then gives it to Shadow.]
Shadow: (drinks it) Ahhh… that's the stuff.
Sonic: Dude, Shadow check it out. Amy and Cream are making out!
Shadow: (jumps out of his seat) Oh hell yeah. Where?
Sonic: [Points to where they're making out.] See bro, told you.
[Amy and Cream are making out and touching one another.]
Tails: God d*mn, I have a mad boner right now.
Sonic: Hell yeah, too bad you'll never hit that. (laughs)
Tails: Aww, go f*ck yourself.
Sonic: Stop telling me what you're gonna do to yourself.
Tails: HATE YOU! [Runs away.]
Shadow: Fag…
Sonic: (chuckles) Such a virgin. [Looks at Blaze.] Holy sh*t! [Taps Shadow's shoulder.] Look at this!
Blaze: (drunk and strips on the dance floor) Who wants some of this p*ssy?
Silver: [Jumps over the counter.] Hell yeah, I want some.
[Omega is dancing doing "The Robot."]
Charmy: (laughs) Guys look at Omega.
Espio and Vector: Hahaha pretty ironic.
Espio: Oh watch me do "The Ninja."
Charmy and Vector: (looks at Espio) No.
[Tails walks up to the DJ.]
Tails: (quiet voice) DJ, can you play some Linkin Park for me.
Eggman: What?!
Tails: I said can you play some Linkin Park.
Eggman: …What?!
Tails: (yelling) I SAID PLAY SOME LINKIN PARK, FATA*S!
[Music stops and everyone is staring at Tails.]
Tails: (scared) Um… hi… (nervously laughs)
Everyone: (yelling) GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE. EAT A D*CK, TAILS!
Eggman: (stands over Tails) Don't you ever in your life holla at me, or I'll pop the trunk in your ass.
Tails: God d*mmit. [Goes to corner and cries.]
The party is over.
Knuckles: Thanks everyone for coming.
Chris: (pats Knuckles' shoulder) Great party man. [Leaves.]
[Sonic comes out with Amy in his arms.]
Knuckles: You enjoyed yourself, homie.
Sonic: (smiles) F*ck yeah and now I'm going for the second round, if you know what I mean.
Knuckles: Hey, we didn't do it two out of three. I'll beat you in the second round of Battle Toads.
Sonic: Keep dreaming, later. [Leaves with Amy.]
[Silver comes out.]
Silver: God d*mn, my BJ was off the chain.
Knuckles: You don't even have a chain; have a good evening.
[Everyone else leaves.]
TIME FOR "SONIC SEZ!"
Sonic: Hello! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! I'm here to tell you kids to NOT be like Tails. Don't be the crybaby virgin that never get none.
[From background.] F*CK YOU, SONIC!
Sonic: Sorry, I'm not gay like you.
Tails: God d*mn You!
Sonic: That's all kids and don't do drugs.