Hope:
In life, we do things. Some things that we regret more than anything in the world. We do things that we wish with everything, that you didn't do. Some things we replay a million times in our heads, almost as if that will make things better. Like you changed what actually happened. Not better perhaps, but almost as if to get a clarification of things. Almost like looking at something through a microscope. The memory changes our perspective of things, life, ideas. Clears our heads, makes us realize what we did wrong and what we did right. But what's the difference between right and wrong? There isn't really. There just is and isn't, and that's the truth of it. Life is full of mistakes, Primrose Everdeen acknowledges at the solemn age of thirteen. Life is full of ruthless pain, suffering, misery, mistakes, longing, loneliness, greed, envy and darkness.
But to Prim, there's mostly mistakes. And when Prim rethinks her skeptical, bittersweet view on life, she thinks for a moment that there are mistakes so that it can shape us and mold us- like clay- into the better person. The person we were meant to be. And if we reverse any of our remorseful mistakes, then we'll just end up drowning inside of ourselves until we grow withered like a prune, and simply die.
After everything that's happened, Prim really expects Katniss to give her some credit. But, when Katniss arrives back from the games, she still treats her younger sister as if she were that same seven-year old girl, whose clothes hung to her body because she was slowly fading away.
And Prim really hates when Katniss underestimates her.
I mean, she can see where Katniss is coming from. She still vaguely remembers her-through the tarnished, horrific memories of the games- as the twelve-year old girl, who was ignorant enough to leave her dress un-tucked. Who was arrogant enough to believe that life was full of pure happiness, and everyone is invincible and no one is ever going to leave her alone. No one's going to die. No one ever is going to get hurt.
But the thing was, she wasn't so naïve and little anymore. It isn't Katniss's fault, not really, but she despises the way everyone portrays her as. She's not little anymore.
She's not.
But to everyone else, she's always going to be Katniss's shadow. Her younger sister that she volunteered for. The weaker one. The runt of the small two person liter.
Deep down in Prim's heart she knows that she could have never won the Hunger Games. But, the optimist side of her brain argues with that. You could've won. You really could have, if you tried hard enough. You could teach yourself how to be a fighter, how to survive in life and death situations
One day, after the first day into the Hunger Games, Prim swallows her fear and watches. With her baby blue, innocent, childlike wide eyes, she watches the careers murder a girl who lit a fire to stay warm.
That's me, she thinks bitterly, resisting the urge to hide underneath the wool blanket. If Katniss hadn't offered to take her place- that would be her. If Gale hadn't carried her away against her will- that would be her.
So, Prim simply pushes that idea out of her head. What's done is done. There's no point in thinking of a million little scenarios that could've happened. Could. That's the word. It could've happened, but it didn't, so Prim agrees earnestly with the benefit of the doubt.
A few months after the game, Katniss asks her to meet up in Victor's Village, by the lake surrounding the expensive houses. Snow coats the ground, but it doesn't sparkle like usual. It's just there, acting as a coldness that balances out nature. It's gross and disgusting and cold. It just reminds her of how wealthy and rich her family was, and how all the other families in District Twelve are slowly freezing to death. She shakes her head, her signature pigtails swaying near her shoulders. Maybe that's why everyone sees her as the same little girl that she was a year ago. Maybe the only reason that they see her like that is because of her childlike frame and image. She pushes the thought away, shoving it into the deepest corners of her mind.
It's easier to not think.
She strolls down the houses, trying not to seemingly gawk at the tall, broad homes. She still isn't used to this luxury that only a year ago she couldn't afford. Her clothing is different, too. It's paid for, not made. It's better in some ways, easier. But she misses the comfort of knowing that her mother made her clothing. She shivers in her fur boots, as she embraces the coldness coming from the lake. She ducks underneath the fence that's written across: Victors Village. It's far big enough to just walk under, but she does it out of instinct and tries to ignore the fact that she had just flinched from a fence.
Katniss isn't here yet, as her piercing blue eyes gaze around, trying to spot out a brunette teenager with a side braid. She immediately thinks the worst. President Snow could've abducted her, someone could have assassinated her. Prim shivers again and this time it isn't from the cold. She hasn't even been in the Hunger Games, and she's scarred preferably for life.
And once again, she bites her lip roughly, ignoring the scenarios that could've happened. Images flash through her mind; Katniss getting shot, blood coating her jacket. A hand covering her mouth, her struggling against the unknown figure, but falls slack as the chloroform sets in. Someone beating her in the head with a rock. A person fleeing from the limp, lifeless body that was her sister.
Katniss arrives though, despite Prim's adolescent, terrifying thoughts and relief settles in. "Thank God," she whispers under her breath, even if she doesn't really believe in God. And how could she? God wouldn't have let the Hunger Games happen, God wouldn't have let Panem win the war. God most certainly wouldn't have allowed her sister to go through so much suffering.
"What?" Katniss questions, unable to hear her but knows that she muttered something.
Prim shakes her head, as Katniss takes a seat on the grey, detailed bench. "Nothing. Why am I here?"
Katniss sighs and Primrose can see the pain in her seam eyes. Her expression is troubled, like she's fighting back the urge to say something. "I heard you ranting about Panem. The Hunger Games. The Capitol."
"Yeah. So what? They did horrible things to you."
"So, even words can have the effect of actions. You can't just say those things and expect for no reaction from anyone." Prim clenches her jaw, but she understands. She's conflicted and can't decide whether or not to be irate with her, or agree. Prim does neither, remaining silent.
Katniss throws a snow coated rock into the lake, and for the first time Prim realizes that her hair is down, slightly curled at the end. She wonders when Katniss began to become... feminine. There's also light, makeup covering her face- her mother's handiwork, of course.
"You understand that whatever I do, it comes back at you and mom." Ah. So this wasn't about herself, but more about Katniss and Peeta and how messed up everything was. She got the gist of it, when Haymitch was speaking to Katniss. Basically, she stood up the Capitol and ignited a spark, that led to an uprising that could start a rebellion.
Katniss had expected her to be ignorant and innocent enough to not realize. But, she did. She saw things changing, graffiti on walls- of Mockingjays. Rebellions from District Eleven, District Eight. She heard about people getting whipped, people wearing Katniss's pin. She saw what was happening and knew that those berries and Katniss had started it all.
Katniss lit the string that led to a bomb, and it was only a matter of time before it exploded.
"I understand," Prim says slowly. Cautiously, even. Katniss purses her lips and pulls her into a tight hug, and immediately Prim feels consoled.
Katniss tightens the hug. "I don't want you to get hurt."
Prim wants to tell that she won't get hurt, but she just might and she can't lie to her sister. They pull away, and it's Prim's turn to look troubled.
"Since the last games- something's different," Prim says slowly, eyeing her sister carefully. "I can see it."
Prim's older now, more mature. She's not the same little, innocent, girl that she was before the games. Her dress is tucked in-most of the time. She's learning about medicine, how to heal people. She 's reading through her father's book of herbs. Memorizing things that she can eat and things that she can't. Prim's beginning to learn how to make snares from Gale, just in case she ever needs to.
Primrose Everdeen is not a child anymore.
So when Katniss asks her in Victor's Village, "what do you see?" Primrose Everdeen responds truthfully and as maturely as she can.
"Hope."
A/N: Okay, I just saw the theatrical trailer for the first time yesterday. It was amazing and I can tell that this one's probably going to be better than the first film. Everything's just so perfect! Especially the scene at the beginning, which I decided to incorporate into this fanfic. Also, if you couldn't tell by now- Prim is my number one fav character. She just intrigues me the most and I would love to know what is going on in her head! R&R please, and feel free to check out more of my work.