Introduction
Fine, fine. We've heard you fanboys. You want more waifus and less gayfus and for the fangirls to shut up and take it. We heard ya. The WANG YI unit is not exactly very stable due to the rough life she's had when she was younger, but she is still functional. But I guess you sickos just love some emotionally damaged women to your little fantasy. Yup... What a world we live in...
Comes with...
Seven (7) DW8 feathered armor spliced with a cocktail dress
One (1) DW7 actually nice armor that I have no jokes about (Okay, maybe about the boob window.)
Two (2) giant pitchforks with short-ass handles
Two (2) large metal toothpicks
Fifty (50) bottles of whatever lady hair product she uses
One (1) Duran Duran feather earring
One (1) jeweled peacock feather earring (She wears them one at a time, on one specific ear.)
Three (3) flasks (One for each meal of the day!)
Name: Wang Yi
Gender: Female
Other names: Psycho Waifu, Lightning, REVENGE lady, Sima Yi's Wife(A mistake some people made back then), Yandere Simulator
Famous for: REVEEEEENGGGE, going to great lengths to protect herself and her daughter that we won't go into detail about
Spouse: Zhao Ang (The one time the wife is more famous than her husband.)
Children: Four; three sons and a daughter
Default Age: about 25-35
Appearance: Lady with cold piercing eyes and asymmetrical hair
Striking Features: She looks too much like Lightning from Final Fantasy 13
Quirks: She's nuts about Ma Chao and revenge, drinking problem
Instructions
The unit may accidentally kill you if you are too quick when you open the box. I think we forgot to wrap her weapons up in bubble wrap. Introduce yourself and she may do the same depending how you look. She's not going to put in an effort if you don't look worth the effort.
Care/How to keep your unit happy
The WANG YI unit is only a tiny bit crazy, but not crazy enough that she completely doesn't know how to wash herself. She is perfectly capable of doing that. Another thing she is perfectly able to do is crush your dick if you try to peek at her. For women, I don't know what she could aim for, but that means there are a lot more targets on you than for men.
The WANG YI also requires a stable diet of alcohol and regular food from time to time. She surprisingly isn't all that picky with her food as long as it goes well with a pint/cup of spirits. Just don't try to push your luck. She's not your trash can and won't eat expired shit. On that note, she won't eat shit. What's wrong with you? I can't believe you are thinking about giving her that.
The unit doesn't have much hobbies except for practicing her slicing arm, or arms. Try giving her one like decorative fruit carving, cooking and cutting up meat, or sausage making. I think I forgot to mention she is not shy about meat or meat-eating. And I'm sure she's very aware of the innuendo that comes with that, but she don't give no fucks. Do you see her fucks? No. They're nowhere. They're not included with this unit. Anyway, the unit won't mind most things you try to push her into doing and would prefer this thing involving knives or swords.
This unit will leave or disobey if...
You're being a total downer
You make yourself seem like Ma Chao's biggest fan
She is totes drunk
You are being a fucking creep
The CAO CAO unit is around
The SIMA YI unit is around (Only partially though.)
There is someone a lot more hotter and more fun than you around (e.g. the GUO JIA unit)
Skills
-Chinese fluency
Yeah. Duh.
-Bodyguard
Well, she's a trained killer. Sure.
-Decent Spy
Her looks help her get around and get close to people, mostly men. If you need a guy gone, but not through the messy way, she's your girl. She could at least try to gather whatever nasty secrets the guy has and exploit them. Just don't expect her to get fancy and get into the government and some shit like that.
-Model
She's beautiful, let's be real here. There's some serious bank waiting to be made.
-Porn star
Only gay-for-pay. She'll do that. Nothing straight or rape-related.
-Singer (?)
Well, I'm not sure if you can sell albums with her... You could try.
Romancing
Males: Don't be an asshole, dickbag. She's been through a lot and she doesn't need another trauma to add to her timeline. Don't be that trauma. If you can prove you're like most men, are able to support lots of alcohol purchases, and provide free bar trips for the rest of her days.
Females: She trusts women more than men, so this might happen. Chances go up after a few drinks. Percentage of getting laid caps at 90% when she is drunk.
Modes
Normal
-Default mode for the unit. Consists of her being not very ladylike at times, but at the same time, she is ladylike.
Actually Crazy
-I'd not linger on this. This only activates whenever something Ma Chao happens.
Drunk
-Yeah, self-explanatory.
See Also:
SIMA YI: Superior officer that she sometimes gets unlucky to be sent under, fanfiction and fanart have a lot of these two together
CAO CAO: Main master
GUO JIA: Had a special one-time canon conversation that exploded in some fanfiction and fanart being made of them, potential love interest depending on what world you think they live in
CAI WENJI: Potential love interest depending on what world you think they live in
ZHEN JI: Potential love affair depending on what world you think they live in
MA CHAO: Wants this guy, not on a sexual level, but in a I-want-to-decapitate-him level, potential love interest depending on what sick and twisted world you think they live in
MA DAI: Similar to the MA CHAO unit, but on a lesser level
FAQ'S
TAKE MY MONEY! ALL OF IT!
Yes, thank you. I'd like all of that through , thanks.
Just how well can she... omph-uh-umph?
First off, what the hell is that? Are you trying to make sex noises through paper? That's awful. Just say have sex for Hell's sake. Second, I don't know. I never tried to sex her up nor ever will because I'm not her type.
Why are model and porn star on the list of possible skills? Not all women are sex objects for you men to gawk at for your patriarchal agenda. Women are more than walking breasts and vaginas, you pig.
How do we block this person from writing to us? Also, we included bodyguard and spy as part of the skills! That's enough to balance those other two out!
I kind of just want to leave WANG YI in a bedroom with one of my male units to see what happens. What would happen?
Depends on the male unit. She is going to talk to them usually. If she's drunk, she's sexing that man up. Sure, our units can be part of your sick twisted social experiments you can't actually perform on actual people.
Oh, I thought you guys went out of business.
Who the fudge told you that? Koei's still alive, no? That means we're still alive. God, get your news from an actual news source and not some random site on the Internet.
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