HAPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYY BIIIIIIRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHDAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! TO STEVIE! WHOOP! *SINGS* (would actually sing but singing to my computer is weird… even for me)
For all of you who read this thanks, this is my BF's birthday gift!
Hopefully this is good enough for you Stevie I worked really hard I wanted it to ne emotional, cute and funny. Everything:)
remember I'm here if your friends are jerks, missing your dad, mom being also being a jerk. That what I'm here for *hugs*
I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds
And honestly, I have been begging for answers
that you and only you can give to me
"J-Jake this is just not working out I'm sorry." I said voice cracking, I truly was. I just couldn't be with him, not since he had moved in.
Jacob stared back as if I just slapped him. "Are you joking?" he said his voice shaking, I looked down not being able to look in his deep, brown eyes. This was hard, we had been going out for year but I could honestly admit to myself that I was no longer in love with him like I once was.
"Yes, I think it would be best if you were to leave." I whispered. I the last couple months everything about us that once was was no long there. Instead I found myself slowly but deeply falling for my neighbor. Edward Cullen.
"FUCK! It's him isn't it?" he asked in a harsh voice and I flinched away, I hated him being mad, he scared me. "" he demanded teeth gritted.
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could no longer lie, I hated it. Everyone will know it may hurt but it had to be done.
"Yes," my voice came out scratchy also shaking but only from my shaking body, from hearing his hard voice.
"He won't take you, he's gone what will that do you any good?" he said in a sick amused tone. "No one will take you."
"I think you should leave," my voice coming clearer. I couldn't hear this anymore, I deserved worse everyone hurts because of me but I couldn't stand to think of him or anyone.
Pain ran though my face as I felt his hand make contact with it hardly.
"J-Jake stop," I termed with fear under his glare.
"You're not worth this, my time." His cruel words cut like a knife. The pain bearable compared to Edward leaving. Jake pushed passed me, making me fall to the wooden floor, my weak body having no strength to stay up. Blinking through the tears I looked up from under my brown to see Jake's large figure leave me behind, broken on the cold, hard ground
The words were nearly over us
You stop and turn and grab your bags
My mother and father were on a trip, leaving me alone for a month in the house alone. I walked into the bathroom looking at my plain face in the mirror and I reached over grabbed a washcloth dabbing it on the triple of blood that was on my lip. I looked back up at my reflection my finger tips slowly touching the new burse appearing, wincing as pain shot through the side of my face.
I just ignored it and put my hair up out of my face and slowing started to get ready for bed, not that I'm going to be able to sleep.
Curling into a ball on my bed, staring at walls pushing memories to the corners of my mind, knowing nothing would be the same from here, nothing would bring him back. He deserved happiness. And if that happiness is me not in his life, I would give him that.
The stinging in my eyes from the painful droplets for tears rolling down my cheek. The pain, slowing pulling me into darkness, into nothing.
A voice crying loud
I've been crying for days now
*flash back*
Bright lights flaming up into the sky exploding, how I hated fireworks. Jake knew that too, he as changing I could feel it, but everyone thought we were perfect together and that the only thing I could hold onto I didn't want to be lonely.
Feeling the particles of sand between my fingers as I sat back leaning on my hands looking up to the color full parks shooting up into the dark sky. I sighed in boringness…. I'm so bored I feel like hitting myself with an umbrella. Wait what? Hit my self with an umbrella? Wow I need help.
"Hey Bella," I musical voice greeted next to me, making me jump, surprisingly in the direction of the voice making him fall on me. Oh jeez.
"Ohmigod! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to you just surprised me and-" he cut me off.
"It's okay, I shouldn't have scared you like that." he apologized before I could say anything he looked up, making me get lost into his deep emerald green eyes as he looked into my own brown ones. It was Edward.
Now I'm truly embarrassed, nice way of me to do to friend. Edward was my neighbor that I had became friends with in he last couple months, we spent almost every day after school hanging out when Jacob couldn't make I out from La-Push.
I just recently started to get feelings for him, which was not good because if you compare, I was definitely the ugly duckling. So I'll admit that I have been kind of avoiding him, for his and mine own good. Because I knew if I hang out with him longer my feelings will only go deeper just having him close makes me fall harder and I will soon end up doing something stupid. So I came up with that it would be way better if I just stay clear from him.
I blushed looking down making him chuckle, I looked back up he to him smiling crookedly his crazy, but utterly attractive, copper hair falling to his eyes. It was then I noticed the warmth of his body everywhere because of the fact that he was still lying on me. He must have noticed to because he was soon apologizing and getting up from my lap, making me miss the warmth as soon as he did so. He sat next to me and also looked to the sky.
"There pretty, to bad you hate them why are you out here?" he asked cocking his head to the side so he could stare at me. I jerked my thumb to Jacob wobbling around laughing with his friends with a beer in his hand. I saw a flash anger on Edward's face, and without thinking I grabbed his hand in mine giving it a little squeeze and his muscles relaxed.
"Wait how did you know I hated fireworks?" I asked with raised eyebrows he smiled. "That conversation he had at Alice party remember?" I smiled a nodded. Almost laughing remembering Edward's sister Alice being mad at us because we spent almost the whole time up in his room talking, and not at the party down stairs. "You remembered from all of that?" I laughed remembering ranting about I hated fireworks and about how they were too bright, and loud. And his response was just to laugh his beautiful and said something about only I could hate fireworks.
"I remember every thing that you said," he said his voice more quite I looked over his eyes was. Again before I could control it my hand went to his cheek he looked up his face showing all his sadness.
"Bella," he whispered.
"What?" I asked my voice the same volume.
"Did I do something, something to make you mad?" he asked desperately searching in my eyes before I looked down to the sad.
"No," I answered looking out to the dark waves splashing on the rocks and removed my hand from his cheek.
"Why haven't you been answering my calls, I've been asking to come in but your mom says you're always your out, and your…." He's voice was getting more frustrated and I knew what he was going to say next. "Your window has been closed," he whispered.
That would sound bad for anyone who walked by hearing it, but every night he could come in my room so we could just lay there and talk about stuff or nothing… then the nights were we just laid there not saying anything just enjoying each other's presence. Secretly I like those nights the best because he usually end up falling asleep rolling over and resting his head on my stomach. He always looked so peaceful when he slept with made me happy to see him at peace like that.
I had always kept the window open just enough for him to slip his hand under and push open so he could get in. but for the last week I have been closing it al the way locking it, and closing the curtains.
"It's just- I just-" I couldn't say anything to him, he would get over me not hanging out with him anymore, find someone who would be prefect for him. I stood brushing off my pants and started walking toured nothing down the beach.
"Bella!" he called, I just kept ignoring him hopping he would get the point and leave.
Before I could get much farther I felt his hand and on my arm, as I when to pull away I tripped over a rock making me just grab on to him for support. My move must have been unexpected because we soon were both tumbling down and into the water. Screaming in surprise at the coldness of the water, I jumped up into Edward's arms as soon as he got from the water. He didn't complain about me being in his arms he just tucked me to his chest.
"Wow I would say I would never seen this coming but it would be a lie, anything could happen with you." he laughed and I tuck my tongue out at him which only mad him laugh harder.
"Shut up, just because I am physically disabled from my klutziness, doesn't mean you can feel free to make fun of me," I pouted. "Man I'm surprised you can hold me," I commented after he was done with his laughing fit.
"Bella you're not heavy," he said rolling his eyes.
"I know that, I'm just saying with you being all weak and all," I said jokingly and he frowned down at me.
"Weak uh?" he asked in raised eyebrows and I smiled widely and nodded. "Well I think I'm too weak to hold you any more," he said over exenterating on his berthing.
"You better not…" I warned glaring at him.
"Better not what drop you into the water?" He asked his a big smile widening.
"Yes or I'm going to…" I trailed off tying to think of something.
"What? Are you going to make me fall of you because you tripped- wait you've already done that." He said and laughed and I glared. "OOPS!" he yelled.
I felt cold air before I was surrounded by cold water.
"EDWARD!" I screeched as my head popped up from the water.
"AHHHH IT THE LOCKNESS MOSTER RUN HIDE YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS! GRAB YOUR PONCHOS AND UNBRELLS TO BEAT HER WITH IT!! AND DON'T FOR GET TO BRAB EGGROLS TO EAT!" he yelled I glared at him. Again with umbrellas, wait did he say grab eggrolls? Oh well at least I'm not the only weird one.
"I'll show you lockness monster!" I hollered and ran jumped in the waster after him. I sprang at his head making him go under.
"Okay, okay!" he laughed holding his hands up in surrender I laughed to and started to get out of the water before I could freeze to death.
I walked from the water to the beach dripping wet. My shirt heavy from the water that got absorbed I decided to just take it off, bra and bathing suite top are no different anyway I thought to my self as I pealed it off. I heard a gasp from behind me and trued to see Edward standing froze in his spot starting at me. Was I that bad looking?
"Man if you dislike looking that much turn around," I said.
"Bella," he whispered, his voice having a new tone to it. I watch him approached me slowing as I stood like an idiot still.
Once he was close he leaned down to my ear whispering "I don't dislike looking at you, it's actually the vey opposite," he said I could hear the thumping of my heart banging in my ears. I looked up at him, his intense eyes never leaving mine as slowly bent down father making us face to face. I could smell his skin and my eye glanced at his her fact lips back to his eyes and to his lips again, I could fell him doing the same. I knew this was wrong, so the same time I was slowly walking backwards up the beach but he seemed to not notice because he slowly followed as I did so.
Soon I felt the coldness of rock on my back I knew were her at the bottom of the cliff.
I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
I'm falling like a bridge for your body
Edward put his had on each side of my face making it impossible to escape, not that I wanted to. I soon felt his lip brush over mine. I t was awkward at first me not knowing what I was doing trying to this of a way to make my mind tell him to stop but knew I was unlabeled to. But then he came down for a second kiss, not knowing what came over me I attached him with mine. Our lips moved together eagerly, Edward slamming me between him and the rock. I twined my fingers in his already messy hair puling him closer. I could practically feel fireworks but also felt in side my body, but also felt warm and safer then I have ever been, it felt right. Like I as home.
I suddenly remembered Jacob and why I as avoiding Edward, he differed better so did Jacob. Edward dissevered someone not plain and boring, and Jacob disserved someone who didn't cheat and was not as selfish to not think of him. I unwrapped my legs from around him, that some how got there while we were kissing. I broke both form him and pushed him little I looked into his confused eyes once more time before I took of running.
But of cores this world seemed to be agented me today, because before I knew it I was tripping and feeling Edward arms wrap around me holding me up.
"Bella don't do this tell me what's wrong." He pleated his eyes full of intensity.
"Jacob," was all I could get out.
His feathered trued between hurt and anger.
"You love him, and don't want to be with me right?" he asked his voice crackling.
"No- it's just I can't," I said I could feel the tears rolling down my cheek.
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
He grabbed me by the arms looking at me strait in the eye before I could turn way.
"Tell me you didn't feel anything," he demanded. "Tell me you didn't feel the spark!" he raised is voice in frustration.
"Edward, I felt it, but I think you should just find someone better for you," I explained trying to move away so he and I both could just move on with our life's.
"Find someone better?! He yelled in confused.
"That's what I said, now move aside and go home. Get over not hanging out with me; I'm not that interesting anyway." I said but he wouldn't have any of that picking me up and setting me on a rock holding me there looking me in the eyes.
"Bella I can never just move on. You want to know why I came here?" he asked and all I could do is nod my head. "I have a choice to move, and I was saying yes." He started to explain and I thought my heart just broke right there. He was leaving? I mentally shook myself. This was a good thing he needed to get away, away from me and this stupid town. "Bella I could never just get over you. Do you know how much you mean to me? you're the only thing that' gets me out of my bed in the morning, the only thing that bring myself to get my lazy ass to school and not just skip like I ant to do." He said looking me in the eyes. "You're my world, my everything." By this time I could feel the tears going again I tried to hide them looked down but he lifted my chin to make me look right back at him. "I love you, I'm in love with you Isabella Sawn and it hurts me for you just think I could get over you." he pulled me to him, in his lap to where I was sitting in his lap holding my body to his in the sand. I could do nothing my body to weak, my mind spinning from the speech.
"Bella?" he whispered I looked back at him. "You're the only one that can change my mind, about moving." He stated. "Just say you ant me to stay, tell me not to leave and I will stay even if you are to stay with Jacob I will still be here for you, just tell me not to leave." He said. I looked at him he was perfect, and he was willing to waste his happiness for mine? That wasn't right he needed to get out, get away from me.
"N-No, leave Edward, go be happy. Be happy while you still can." I said and ran, ran away from him. Ran way from the only man I will ever love, but life would go on and thing will get easer… I hope god how I hoped. Hope was the only thing I could do for now.
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
at best
*end of flash back*
Alice has yelled at me on the phone for days cosing fights, it was horrible. having to hear from her how much he had loved me. She didn't get it no one did.
So here I am been lying in this bed since Jacob left, not that I cared anymore all the memories were back they hurt much more then I thought. I could remember the sound of his beautiful laughter and his silky voice he had had when he whispered my name by the cliff. I would give my life just to relive that moment, for to be in his arms again, or for once of those quite night just lying here.
"Bella?" oh god, his voice, would my mind ever stop?! "Oh Bella…" his voice sounded so tortured, why was he so sad? I let out a sob his voice hurt, cut deep in my unexcited heart. "Shhh," his voice cooed. I felt two arms rap around me and my eyes went wide. I turned around and almost fell of the bed at the sight of him. He was here?
"W-what?" was all I could get out, before he interrupted me by pushing me farther in his arms, holding me to him.
"Why didn't you just ask me to say?" he asked but I think it was more to him self as he started to whisper "should have stayed" as he rocked me in his arms kissing my head ever few seconds. This felt good, I borrowed my self father trying to disappear with in him just to be stuck with him forever.
"Stay, Edward stay." I whispered, this time I meant it he was not going to leave me, yes I was selfish but at the moment I didn't give a rat's ass.
"Forever," he promised and I nodded.
And we both go down together
We'd stay there forever
Just try to get up
And i'm sorry
This wasn't easy
When i asked you, believe me
And never let go
I woke felling better, way better. I looked up and screamed falling off the bed.
"Are your okay, love?" Edward asked, Edward what was he doing here? Then flashes of memory, memory of last night how he came back, and was staying with me.
"Edward," I whispered and jumped to his lap. Before he was papered I kissed him, making him kiss back right away. I rapped my arms around him pressing me as far as I could into him, raping my legs around his waist. He moaned witch only made me want more, I started to unbutton his shirt and I felt him grab my hand as I did so.
"Bella, Bella," he said and I looked up then blushed when I realized how excited I got.
"Sorry," I apologized my face still red.
"You don't need to apologize, just not now." He laughed "Though I like waking up like that," he stated and I laughed.
"We should talk," I said and he shook his head which surprised me.
"Your want me to stay," it wasn't a question but I still nodded making him smile. "Then that all I need to know." He said.
"Fine you don't need to talk, but I do." I said and stat next to him, which was pointless because he grabbed me and stet me in his lap.
"Talk away," he said and I smiled.
"Okay for starters, are we to gather?" I asked.
"I you want to be."
"Okay so we're to gath-"before I could finish he interrupted me with a kiss. I looked up in surprise and he shrugged.
"Just happy," he explained and I smiled at him.
"Um well for got what I was going to say, thanksalot." I pouted and he chuckled. "Oh wait, I love you." I stated and smiled at him again.
He pecked me on the lips and smiled at me "I love you too," he whispered. Then jumped from the bed I stat there confused,
"Time to eat, I brought eggrolls!" he said excitedly and I rolled my eyes. What's with this man and eggrolls?
"Common you know you like them, eggrolls are the boom," he stated and I looked just at him.
"Okay if you say so."
"Yup, let's go." He said and ran over to me grabbing my hand in his.
Then warmth of his hand as the nice thing I felt in a long time, well except for the kisses we just shared. And I was finally happy, really happy.
So let me think of how to word it
Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?
And just in care your wandering what happened to Jacob once Edward found about the burse, which as right away.
Edward walked, slamming on the Black's household's door.
"Come in Sarah!" Jacob's voice called. Who's Sarah? Edward thought before he shrugged and knocked down the door any way.
"Whoa man! What the f-" Jacob broke of looking at Edward in surprise "Edward, what are you doing back?" he asked nervously. Edward stomped over to where Jacob was standing…
Many punches and kicks later…
"What are you doing?" Jacob asked in a frighten voice.
"Something I should have done along time ago." Edward stated.
(Let's just say that Edward taught Jacob a lesson, and Jacob will never.. erm, well again just going to say Jacob J.R is no longer existent and days later they found Jacob tiered to a tree in the middle of the woods)
Whoot! Over and it is 2:00am Stevie lol HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Didn't turn exactly how I wanted but I tried. :) hope you enjoyed it!
oh and sorry i didn't text you trying to finish this, you poked your self in the eye? wow smart. lmao
Review if you want!