This was based off a picture I found one DeviantArt. The link is http: / browse . deviantart . com/?qh=§ion=&q=dramione+sex#/d1f6t6z (remove the spaces). I thought it was funny and am starting to recharge from the end of NaNoWriMo, so here you go.

Yes, this was originally a two-shot, but I saw no point in dividing something that could easily be one.

"So a snake, huh?"

Draco Malfoy glanced up from the file on his desk to find Hermione Granger standing over his desk. He smirked, unable to help himself, but since his office door was open, Draco refrained from making all the comments he wanted to. "What snake would you be referring to?" he asked innocently.

With a roll of her eyes, Hermione replied, "The one on your upper arm, of course."

He pouted. "That's not just a snake," he protested. "It's also a Celtic design meant to poke a little fun at the Dark Mark lower down."

Hermione glanced at his right wrist, which he pulled self-consciously off his desk and dropped into his lap, away from her prying eyes. "It's still a snake."

Draco sighed. "Yes, yes it is a snake."

"And a muggle tattoo."

"What?" he asked. "We are living in a completely different world than we were six years ago." He glanced at the door to check that no one was lurking and added in a much lower tone, "Six years ago you wouldn't have found out I have this tattoo, nor would I be aware of that little blue star on your ankle."

"I was drunk enough to make a bet with Lavender Brown." She sighed, moving forward to sit on his desk – right on top of the files he had been reading.

"Somehow I don't think this is adhering to Ministry policy," Draco pointed out.

Hermione laughed. "Well somehow I do think that if you were concerned with Ministry policy, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I also think you wouldn't have been in my flat last night."

He smirked and replied, "When you go on vacation for a month without me, it happens."

"It was a business trip."

"Call it what you will," Draco said with a shrug. "All I know is that last night was the first chance I've had to get at you in a month and that you disappeared early this morning. Why didn't you wake me up?"

She rolled her eyes. "I needed to get to work at seven this morning. If I'd have woken you up, I'm sure a situation would have… arisen that would have kept me from getting here on time."

"Possibly," he admitted. "So am I allowed to come over again tonight?"

Hermione chuckled. "Draco, we've been together for almost a year, and it's always been at my house."

"That's not true," he protested. "We've been on plenty of dates-"

"-to muggle establishments-"

"-that have resorted in, er, engagement in many different places."

"That's not the point," she said with a grin. "Draco, you spend the night all the time. I never spent the night at your house."

Draco sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Hermione, you know it isn't that simple."

"Yes, yes, I know. Your parents are requiring you to live in the manor until you either get serious with a girl or one of them dies. You realize it's entirely a ploy to keep you away from girls like me."

"Sexy and successful?"

Hermione made a face. "You know what I mean."

"I do," he replied, playfulness fading from his face, "and that's why you can't stay the night with me. The odds of my parents finding out is slim, but-"

"But nothing," she interrupted. Hermione flipped her legs around his desk so she was completely facing him. "Draco, sooner or later other people have to find out."

He quirked his lip and didn't reply.

"Draco."

"I know," he said in exasperation. "I know people have to find out, and you have no idea how hard it is not for me to take you out and parade you, or to brag about you to all of my friends. Still, you have to think about the potential repercussions. You are already a top candidate for a hate attack. If certain rooted purebloods found out that you were with a former Death Eater, one who is considered one of the most eligible pureblood bachelors, it won't end well."

Hermione shook her head. "I don't care."

"Pardon?"

She grinned. "You heard me. I don't care if you are one of the perfect guys to make my public image hell. I don't care. I can live through the paparazzi as long as I'm not alone." Hermione mustered up the largest set of puppy dog eyes she could. "Tonight we're going to the manor, and tomorrow we're going to start telling some of my friends. Then we can worry about actually meeting parents. Okay?"

Draco waved his hands in resignation. "Fine."

Hermione grinned and leaned forward to kiss him. As she hopped off his desk, Draco swore he saw Theodore Nott do a covert double-take into his office.

…

That night Draco arrived at Hermione's house decked out in some of her favorite attire. She opened the door to a Victorian era aristocrat and giggled. He immediately realized why. While he had decided to go traditional, Hermione had vied for a dress that was modern, sophisticated, and utterly irresistible.

Hermione grabbed his hand as she stepped out of the house. "Can you imagine what your father would do if he saw your hair actually tied back in a bow?" she teased.

Draco chuckled. "He's never seen it in a bow, although he has seen it tied back. That always sets him to muttering."

"I'll bet," she replied before squeezing his hand. It was time to go.

Here goes nothing, Draco thought to himself and Apparated them to his bedroom. It would not do to take any chances by going to somewhere in the house where they could be interrupted.

"This is your room?" Hermione asked, letting go of his hand to look around.

He nodded, figuring she wouldn't small talk while she was analyzing, but when she smirked and shook his head, Draco knew he had to say something. "What's so funny?" he probed.

Hermione grinned at him. "You have purple curtains."

Draco scowled. "What's wrong with purple curtains?"

"Oh nothing," she replied. "It's just that most males don't have curtains around their beds anyways. That yours are purple, well... It does leave one to wonder."

He stepped closer to her again. "Are you questioning my masculinity?"

She smiled cheekily. "And if I am?"

"I'll just have to prove myself," he replied, snaking his arms around her waist.

Hermione smiled and leaned up. She was not terribly short, but Draco had gotten much taller over the years and towered over her as a result. He bent down and captured her lips with his own. Their kiss quickly grew into a series of smaller, flamed kisses as Draco backed over to his bed. He released her lips just long enough to sit without falling over. Draco knew what he wanted to get tonight, but he wasn't quite ready to get that far.

As she recaptured his lips, Hermione started pushing down on his shirt sleeves, exposing the tattoo she had teased less than a day before. Draco was just slipping down the first strap of her dress when Hermione froze against his lips.

At first Draco had absolutely no idea why she was stopping, but upon opening, his eyes quickly took in the silver snake head resting on his lover's shoulder. Without letting go of her, Draco looked up.

"Uh… Hello Father."

Lucius Malfoy sneered. "Hello… Draco. What exactly do you have here?"

Hermione was staring into Draco's eyes, fear paralyzing her as her nails dug into Draco's arms. For a woman who had talked so boldly, she wasn't looking very bold anymore. Since she was in no position to defend herself, it was up to Draco to prove them to his father.

"This is a woman, Father," he replied, keeping his voice even-toned despite his cheeky intent. "You are married to one, so I would have thought you knew what they are."

Lucius narrowed his eyes. "Don't be smart with me, boy," he commanded. "That was not the intent of my question, and you know it."

"I am aware of that, Father, but I don't see how it matters that she is a muggleborn."

"A muggleborn," he mocked. Hermione flinched slightly at his words, but she was pleased when he finally removed the cane from her shoulder. "And where exactly did you find one of such pedigree?"

Draco glared and gently pulled Hermione's hands from his sleeves so that he could stand up. Though she remained sitting, they did not let their hands break apart. "I don't appreciate what you are trying to do, Father. The war is over, and Voldemort is gone." He paused to watch his father's face grow red at his audacity. "I may be with whoever I please."

His father's lips curled wickedly. "Oh really?" he said. "Do tell me how you plan to make this work. A boy who has fallen from grace like you have doesn't stand a chance once his bitch's friends find out." Hermione squeezed her eyes shut at his words. "By the way, the young Mr. Nott came to see me this afternoon. Apparently he saw you gallivanting about with this girl at the Ministry. Is that wise for your job?"

With one quick, defiant breath, Hermione flashed to her feet. "How dare you?" she hissed. "Draco has done wonders to redeem himself of the mess you left him with! He has a great Ministry job, frequently donates family money to charities, and has spoken on several occasions of his part in the war and how to stop it from happening again. What have you done?"

"You insolent girl." Lucius glared. "You have no idea what goes on in pureblood life. If I find that my son has been poisoned by your presence one more time, he will be cut off and you will both be sorry."

"Do not threaten her!" Draco said as he stepped in front of Hermione again. "I promise you that from I will be back for my things in the morning. You will not be seeing me again."

As he turned to go, a figure stepped in the doorway to bar his way. "That won't be necessary," his mother said calmly.

"Narcissa," Lucius hissed.

"Stop," she snapped. "I've been a good wife to you, and I have hardly ever spoken against you. I even talked the courts into a lighter sentence for you, so that you could stay out of Azkaban, but no mother can stand by while her son walks away." Narcissa walked slowly but confidently towards the other three. "Hermione, you are not the woman I imagined my son would choose, but if you are what he wants, I will not stand in the way." She glanced at Lucius. "Neither will my husband."

He glared. "We will talk of this later."

"No we will not," she replied. "Draco is our only son, and he will not be estranged because you cannot get over your prejudice." Narcissa reached out for her son's hands. "I wish you two the best of luck." She turned towards the door. After taking only a few steps, Narcissa paused and commanded, "Come, Lucius."

He looked absolutely appalled. Lucius opened his mouth to protest, but he quickly closed it again. With one last searing glare in the younger couple's direction, he followed.

As the door shut behind them, Draco and Hermione stood in shock. Neither of them spoke for about five minutes.

"Well that was unexpected," Hermione finally commented.

Draco started laughing.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," he replied, tears welling at his eyes. "It's just… I have never seen my mother stand up to my father like that." He looked Hermione dead in the eye. "She must have a lot of faith in us."

Hermione gulped. "That's a little scary to think about."

Her face was still full of apprehension, but Draco was already smirking wickedly. "You know, my mother has told me more than once that she wants a lot of grandkids."

The shock left his lover's face as the idea took her. "We have all night in here, it seems."

Draco chuckled. "I guess we better get started."