She isn't surprised when it ends; all good things do, after all.
It will hurt; it will always hurt, because she was foolish enough to fall for something that someone as lowly as her cannot have. Can never, ever have.
An elf with a King? She laughs at the thought, but it dies in her throat when she looks at him and sees everything she's ever cared about.
Leaving the Alienage to become something more, to know more, only to lose it all in an instant for something she never had any say in. But he hates it as much as she does, she knows. Her heart tells her this and she sees this in those eyes; those sweet eyes of Alistair's who are bursting with honesty and adoration and love and is he truly going to let her go for duty?
Is she going to accept this over duty?
She is a Grey Warden now and he is King of Fereldan.
Really, it isn't even elf and human anymore. It hasn't been elf and human for a long, long time. Not between them, but that's not what his people would see; they wouldn't understand, but how could they expect them to?
"Are...you...going to say anything?" His voice trembles, as it does, and his hands fidget, as they do, and she sees everything she's grown to love in such a short time.
And understands it; what duties mean and what life means and what everything means, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
Did she fight so hard to overcome herself just to lose the one person who has cared for her and only her? Who has never seen her as anything less than a woman and a warrior?
The one person in this world that she finds truly beautiful?
She's seen other elves; she's seen other humans. None are like her Alistair. None are like this man.
And he's letting her go when she doesn't want to go and she has to decide if it's worth fighting for because he's right. It's duty and it's unacceptable, but she is a woman who contemplated running away during her first wedding.
"Do you want to know what I think right now?" Her voice doesn't quiver, somehow, and Alistair's eyes are nervous and worried because how is he supposed to know what she'll say or what she'll do?
He's a kind man; a man who deserves all the good in the world. All the choices he can make for himself. He doesn't deserve to be tied down; she'd made him King for him to show the world the greatness she sees in him (and because there's no way she'd put Anora back on the throne; the woman stank of lies and deceit).
"What...is it that you think right now?" He asks, and he's nervous, clearly, and his eyes show it because he doesn't want her to scream or hit him or any of those things he's built up in his head that he thinks could happen.
Tabris smiles at him, reaching and taking his hands in hers. He hesitates, but allows her to kiss them anyway.
"Okay." The words come from her too-easily and she can see it isn't what he expected and it's not what she expected either of herself; but she's put this on him and now she can't take it back.
Because she is not just Tabris and she is not just an elf or a woman, she is a Grey Warden. And he is not just Alistair and not just a man, he is a King.
"...just...okay?" He tests the waters carefully, as he does, because she is too quiet to be herself and he is worried that he's made a mistake.
Maybe he has, but that's not for either of them to decide.
"Just okay." She repeats her words, careful, eyes only briefly meeting with his before she pulls her hands away.
"This is what you want, right?" Her voice wobbles more than she means it to, and she hates herself for it because now he's more concerned, but he shouldn't be because a King doesn't concern himself with people like her.
Because he is a King now and as much as she wants it, she can't have him.
"..I..."
"This is what you want, right?" She pushes harder than she should, and keeps her gaze to the floor longer than it should be, but in the end she looks up at him and offers him another smile and just exists.
"You're a King now and I'm a Warden." As if it is everything, but it is everything and they both know it, but that's not just the beginning anymore, it's the end.
The end of something beautiful and she can't even bring herself to be mad because she loves him too much.
It's not the first time she realises that she's willing to die for him, but now it just solidifies it in harder stone than ever before.
"It's been fun, Alistair." Her words are softer now than they should be and her eyes are wetter than they should be and the last thing she can bring herself to say before she turns to walk away is so simple, but so true.
"You'll be a good King."
Because now, that's all he can be to her and she doesn't know if it's worth it, but it has to be.
It has to be.