Last Christmas
Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place.
Author's Note: This is loosely based on the Christmas melody Last Christmas. I hope you all enjoy.
The early morning sun streamed through the window and alighted on the sleeping form of a woman, causing her to slowly drift from the comforts of the world of dreams into the realities of the waking world. She squeezed her eyes further closed in hopes to gain just a few more moments of peaceful slumber and extended her arm to the other side of mattress. Her eyes flew open and her body flew into a sitting position as the expectation of the warmth that would have emanated from her companion was met with the harshness of cold emptiness.
She saw him at the foot of the bed, already fully dressed as though he had never been divested of the suit and tie. Any comfort that she might have felt at his presence was quickly displaced as she tucked the sheet tighter around her chest to keep a modicum of modest, running a shaky hand through her tangled hair as she watched him pull on his dress shoes and secure his watch to his wrist. She had always been a light sleeper so she knew he had to have taken extra effort to remain silent if it had taken up to that point for her to awaken.
And she had to wonder just why the man she was completely in love with—the man who she had believed loved her just as much—would want to escape like a thief in the night.
"Justin?" She hated her voice at that moment. So shaky and so desperate and just so damn needy, even to her own ears. "Where are you going?"
He whipped around and his face was the exact replica of the expression deer in the headlights. He shifted on his feet and a hand came up to rub the back of his neck, a nervous habit that he had picked up some time during his youth. "Harper, it's still early. You should go back to sleep."
She narrowed her eyes. "So you can leave without telling me why you would? And why you wouldn't at least say goodbye?"
"I'm sorry. I know we planned to spend the day together but I have to get back to Wiz-tech. I have a staff meeting, completely slipped my mind."
"But it's Christmas Eve."
"I know. And if it was for anything else, I would tell them I couldn't make it. But we've got to meet before the students return from their winter holiday. You understand, right?" Justin explained, the rush of words revealing a lie. But a lie about what was the thing to question as he came over to sit beside her on the bed, one hand resting on her shoulder and the other softly framing her face. "Harper, I'll try to get through the meeting as quickly as possible and then I'll be back. We can still do the movie marathon and junk food in bed this afternoon."
Harper forced a smile onto her face and nodded. "Yeah, this afternoon will be just as good. I'll even bake us those cookies you like and dig up Nana Franny's hot cocoa recipe."
He leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her lips. "Now that sounds amazing and more than I deserve at this point. You know I love you, right?"
He kissed her again and stood from the bed, exiting her bedroom before she had the chance to respond. The sound of the front door closing echoed throughout her empty apartment and Harper fell back against her pillows, closing her eyes against the shine of the sun that still poured through the window. And as she laid there with only the sound of the bathroom faucet dripping to accompany her, Harper could not relieve the pit of despair she felt deep in her gut or the burn of tears behind her eyelids.
Or the sudden feeling that the vision of Justin's back as it left her behind would be the last.
-J-H-M-
The cookies were done. Nana Franny's hot cocoa was mixed and only needed to be heated. Chinese food from the place he loved was waiting on the kitchen table and the movie only needed her to press play. Everything was ready for their afternoon together and, she hoped, would carry on through the night. Something that was very likely to happen since she was also wearing the negligee that he had given her for her last birthday.
All that was left was waiting for the return of the man she loved.
When three o'clock came, she figured that the meeting had just gone on longer than he thought it would and it was not as though they had actually set a time to meet. However, she had neglected to eat anything while baking; only stopping to nick bits of the cookie dough here and there, so it was not long before the Chinese food had halfway disappeared and the first movie had played.
Four-thirty, five, six, all came and went. By seven, Harper had changed into a pair of flannel pajamas and was dunking sugar cookies in her mug of hot cocoa while watching another couple find their happily-ever-after by the spirit of Christmas. By eight, the television was turned off and she was retrieving her comforter and pillow from a bed that she had no plans of sleeping in for a good long while. And by nine, with no word from the man who had been sharing her bed for the past year, she knew that whatever they had been was indeed over and she should not expect his return to come anytime in the near future.
As she laid there in the glow of the muted television, she couldn't help but wonder how her life had gotten so messed up. Had to wonder why she was lying there pining after a man who was never going to return and didn't even have the decency to break up with her like a decent boyfriend. And, she supposed, that had to make her nothing better than a mistress. Because only a mistress gives up her heart and the entirety of her being, despite all the warning signs, only to be left wanting when she has exhausted all of her worth.
Sure, there was no wife in the picture as his schedule would never allow for one. But Justin Russo had been married to his magic long before he became a fully-fledged wizard and even more since he had taken over as headmaster for the school for magic and magical beings. Alex had warned her that her brother would never give any of it up for love and especially not love with a mortal like herself. But Harper had held out hope that she would be different, that they would be different, only to wind up exactly as Alex had said she would.
Alone and nursing a broken heart in an empty apartment.
That wasn't what got to her though. She had been subconsciously preparing herself for her heart to be shattered, watching and waiting for the moment when Justin tired of her and disposed of their relationship like yesterday's trash. What really got to her was the fact that he didn't even have decency to pick up the phone and let her know that he was finished with them like a real man would. Instead, he had abandoned her like she was just some random girl that he had picked up at a bar and not one that he shared an almost three decade long history with.
When midnight came and it officially became Christmas, Harper decided that she had had enough wallowing. Throwing off the blanket and turning on a lamp to cast a golden light over the apartment, she got off the couch and went to work. If Justin didn't want her then there was no reason why she should want him, she concluded as she went into her bedroom and began to strip the bed. She was going to let him go, wash him from her mind like a bad memory, removing any residual evidence of their time together in her apartment beginning with these sheets. When she was finished, she would do what any single person left alone on a holiday did and find her own brand of entertainment because there had been a time in her life that she had been happy being by herself. There had been a time that she had even preferred it.
And hopefully, when all was said and done, she would find the girl that had been lost during her journey into adulthood.
-J-H-M-
The pounding on her front door awoke her that evening as the purplish glow of twilight filtered through her window. Groaning, Harper peeked at the clock on her bedside table to note that the end of Christmas was still hours away. She closed her eyes and mentally willed the person to leave her in peace but the pounding only grew louder with each passing second. Groaning again, she untangled herself from the sheets and comforter that had wrapped around her legs while she was sleeping and stumbled to the front door to let the intruder in.
Harper unlocked the door and barely opened it a few inches when it was pushed the rest of the way open, a familiar brunette figure dressed in a puffy winter coat that clashed with the latest fashion barreling through. Her arms were laden with shopping bags but she still was able to somehow enclose her best friend in an all-encompassing embrace. "Oh, Harper, I was so worried about you. Why didn't you call me?" Alex Russo demanded once she pulled away.
"Alex, what are you doing here?" Harper asked, closing the door soundly and locking it once again. Knowing that Alex had to be freezing despite her power to instantaneously transport from place to place, she made her way to the kitchen and began to fill the teakettle. "I thought you were spending the holidays up in some mountain with your family."
Alex removed her jacket and took a seat on one of the barstools that lined the counter. "Well, we were just sitting down to dinner when my dink of a brother comes in. Imagine how surprised I was to see him there when I knew for a fact that he was supposed to be here, spending Christmas with you instead of us."
"Alex—"
She held a hand up to halt whatever words that would have come out of Harper's mouth. "I thought he would have brought you with him since you two are…you know. So, as I have no filter and I've never been known to keep my mouth shut, I straight out asked him where you were. And he tells me that you two broke up yesterday and that I should have known that it was coming. It made me wonder how I would know that when the last time we spoke, you were gushing about how perfect everything was going between you two. He kept dodging all of my questions about how you were doing, how you were taking the break up, until he finally confessed that he never actually broke up with you and just decided that avoidance was best. Now, I'm here."
"You didn't have to come, Alex. I promise that I'm fine."
Her face dropped and her hand immediately moved to cover one of Harper's. "Oh God, you didn't know that him not showing was a break up, did you? I knew my idiot brother couldn't be trusted when it comes to you. That's why I didn't want you two dating because I knew that he wouldn't do right by you. He's too stubborn and too obsessed with magic to be honorable like our dad. I'm sorry that he couldn't realize that you're better than any kind of magic he could create from his wand."
The whistle of the teakettle sounded and Harper removed her hand to pull two mugs from the cupboard above the stove, digging out a couple of teabags from a canister on a shelf and pouring the boiling water over each. Pulling out the sugar bowl from another cupboard, she placed it and a couple of spoons between them and watched as Alex immediately went about doctoring the brew. "Alex, I knew it was a break up by the time afternoon became evening. I think I actually knew that morning when he walked out of my apartment but I just didn't want to admit it to myself."
"How could you? I mean, Justin said that he didn't even know until after his meeting when he was approached to take on more responsibilities in the wizard world," Alex said, confused. "He said it wasn't until then that he realized that there was no future between you and it was no longer fair to string you along."
"Is that what he was doing? Stringing me along this entire year?" She could feel a sharp pain where her heart was located and swore it broke just a bit more. In spite of the pain from the words, she knew that she needed to hear them to strengthen her resolve to move on from not only Justin but men altogether. Being a spinster wouldn't be so bad, she knew; if this was the other option. "Well, I guess he won't have to worry about that anymore. And as to how I knew, let's just say that it was a feeling."
"A feeling?"
"It's hard to explain but yeah, it was a feeling that I had. Like when you're ready to go on vacation and know that'll end in disaster. Or go for an interview and know that you're not going to get the job no matter what you're résumé says," Harper replied, cupping her mug just a little tighter.
"So it's the feeling of impending doom?" Alex surmised.
Harper nodded. "Exactly, the feeling of impending doom would be the best way to describe it. I think that I always knew that it would end like this, Alex, but I had hope that I could have that fairy tale ending. I guess that I just wasn't the right princess for that Prince Charming."
Alex glanced worriedly at her friend. "What happens now? It's the holidays and you shouldn't have to spend them alone because the man you love has his head up his butt. I wish I could take you back with me to spend it with my family but—"
"But you can't because he'll be there and it'll be more awkward than any holiday ever spent with your grandmother." Harper leant Alex an understanding smile. "You need to stop worrying about me being alone, Alex. I was alone before Justin came along and I was fine so I'm going to be just as fine without him."
"I'm still going to worry about you."
"I know. You wouldn't be my best friend if you didn't."
The two women with a friendship that had been fortified by years of adventure, love and extraordinary circumstances joined hands again as they sipped their tea, both turning their heads to watch the snow fall outside the window as they shared a comfortable silence. A silence that would shortly end when the need to be with her husband and children overwhelmed the brunette and the wish to be alone overtook the auburn-haired beauty. But for now, they were content to spend these few moments in silence together.
Alex leaned down to gather the shopping bags that she had brought with her. Emptying them, she lined the brightly wrapped presents in between them. "Mom, Dad, Max, Mason and the kids wouldn't let me leave until they were sure I had your gifts with me to bring. The kids were excited to make their Auntie Harper something this year instead of the other way around."
"They're good kids, Alex."
"I know. It must come from Mason's side of the family," Alex replied with a conspiratorial wink.
"No, a lot of it comes from their mother. She wouldn't be my best friend otherwise."
Her cheeks tinged with red, Alex awkwardly cleared her throat. "They're probably driving my parents crazy so I should probably get back to them. You are going to be okay, right? Just say the word and I'll call Mason to let him know that you need me more than they do tonight."
"Alex, you've already done enough. We're not teenagers anymore and you have more important people counting on you."
"They're not more important, Harper, never more important than the woman who has been my sister for more years than I can count."
Harper made her way around the counter and wrapped her arms around her friend. "I love you, Alex. Go home and have a merry Christmas with my godchildren. Give me a call tomorrow and we'll plan a girl's day for some time after the New Year."
"I love you too. And I will be calling you first thing tomorrow so you'd better not be passed out from ice cream and wine."
Harper smiled with a nod of her head and watched as her best friend disappeared with a flash of light and Harper knew with certainty that she would eventually be okay. There would always be that ache that came from losing the one you thought was your soul mate but she knew that it would eventually fade to a bearable dullness. All she needed to do was continue living her life with the support of her best friend and while she would never forget the past year, the crystal clear memories of the events would slowly diminish until they became nothing more than dreams that accompanied her when the loneliness became too unbearable.
Because, after all, what use did one have for time if not to heal old wounds?
-J-H-M-
One Year Later…
It was funny how when one aspect of your life changed, the others changed just as greatly. And Harper had experienced that firsthand throughout that year. With the loss of love, she was able to focus on her career which she had neglected to do since making Justin happy had been her main priority. Now, even though she had no one to share the special little moments with, she was proud to say that she was a published author with her first book about to become a movie and her second about to hit shelves the day after Christmas. She was even scheduled for a book tour which was something that she had never imagined doing when she put pen to paper the year before.
And she was even dressed to attend a Christmas dinner with the family that she had once considered her own, something that she hadn't dreamed possible since her failed relationship with the oldest Russo sibling. Nor did she believe it would have been possible that she would be happy about it or that she would agree to stay up until New Year's. But she had actually found herself thrilled to accept the invitation that Alex had extended and had gone all out, half the advance for her third book going towards gifts and decorations for her humble abode.
It had been a journey but Harper had finally found the spirit of the holidays that had been stolen by the thoughtless actions of one man.
Humming a Christmas melody that was a mixture of all the ones that she could remember, Harper grinned when she pulled up to what used to be the Waverly Place Sub Station. It appeared that she was not the only one that had gone through changes during the time away. The sign on the window was no longer one for a sandwich shop, it now read Russo's: Fine Italian Cuisine. The light that fell on the snow outside the establishment was no longer horridly fluorescent but dimly golden, what she knew restaurateurs called mood lighting. And she could also see through the window that the orange-red booths had been replaced as well to make way for tables and chairs that were an invitation to a clientele more upscale than the students that used to frequent the place.
But despite all of the changes, all Harper could see was the sub shop that used to be her home away from home. And if she squinted in just the right way, she could envision the ghosts from the past that still haunted every corner of the restaurant that were both real and figurative. Visions that made her grin and filled any empty spaces left over from being alone for far too long.
The door opened, successfully breaking her from her reverie, and an eight-month pregnant woman rushed her at full speed. Harper barely managed to let out a simple hello before she found herself encompassed by the arms of a woman that was still a ball of energy, the baby bump an awkward pressure against her middle. She giggled and patted her friend on the back a few times before untangling herself from the whole-hearted embrace.
"Harper, I didn't think you were going to come when I told you that Justin would be here."
When the invitation had been first given, it was with the assurance that Justin would have to stay in the wizard world to attend to matters at the school. It was because of that reason that Harper had immediately agreed to attend the Russo family festivities, jumping at the chance to see the family she loved without any of the awkwardness that would have come from being in the same vicinity as the man who had broken her heart. A week later though, Alex called to tell her that there would be a change of plans and Justin would be joining them Christmas morning and she completely understood if the woman wanted to skip it. Or leave early if it meant she could avoid the man.
However, Harper had decided that fateful Christmas Eve that she would never let him affect her or her decisions the way that she had let him before. So, there was no hesitance when Harper reassured her oldest friend that she would not miss spending the holidays with them for the entire world. She would be there no matter what because Christmas was meant for family and that was what the Russos had always been.
"Alex, I told you I'd be here and you know that I don't back out of my promises."
"But I would have understood if you chose to stay home."
Harper smiled. "I know. And everyone else would have understood too. But I'm tired of being the one who always backs down from a situation and this is the first step to not be that person anymore."
Alex narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that I have no problem seeing Justin again. Yeah, he broke my heart and made me feel like I was less than nothing but I'm okay now. There's not a damn thing he can do or say to ruin that for me," Harper told her with pride. "Besides, if I'm not bothered by seeing him then he shouldn't be bothered by seeing me and it's his problem if he is."
Alex threw her arms around her again, this hug shorter than the one that had greeted her. "I'm so freaking happy to hear you say that. You won't believe how excited everyone has been since hearing you were coming. Dad actually forgot he was frugal for once, we've barely been able to get the munchkins to sleep for the last couple of weeks and Max is practically preparing a feast. You'd think that you were their long lost daughter, which I suppose you kind of are."
Harper turned to lock the car doors and retreated to the back of the car, popping open the trunk to reveal that all the goodies that she had brought with her. "Well, believe me. I'm just as excited to see all of them."
"I can tell. Did you rob Santa on your way here?"
Harper laughed, shaking her head as they each grabbed half of the shopping bags. "My latest advance was more than I'd ever need to live on so I splurged. I wanted to make sure everyone had a great holiday."
"Aw, that's sweet. But you're our Christmas present, Harper."
"You're getting awfully mushy in your old age, Alex."
Alex opened the door to allow them entry into the warmth of the tastefully decorated restaurant. "Yeah, give me a month and I'll be back to my old self. These babies tend to mess with my hormones and fill me with all kinds of sentimental crap."
She grinned, spotting the half-truth the moment it was spoken. Motherhood looked good on her best friend and even though she could be just as sarcastic as her teenage counterpart had been at times, Alex had indeed softened since getting married and giving birth to her oldest. Mason, Alex and their two daughters made quite the familial picture of happiness and the impending birth of their only son would only serve to give it completion. Even a saint would be envious of the little family and there were times that even she found herself wishing that she could have that.
But she had given up the wish for a family long ago, choosing career as a better option for her life.
"Auntie Harper," a voice squealed two seconds before a blonde mass with arms and legs almost took her out.
Another one, this time with dark hair, followed not two seconds later, causing Harper to stumble a few steps back. "I can't believe you're really here," it said, awe coloring its voice.
"Girls!" a heavily accented voice shouted. Harper looked up from the forms of her godchildren to see their out of breath father in front of them, an apologetic look on his face. Mason kissed her on the cheek in greeting and took the bags from both of the women. "Sorry, Harper, I tried to catch the little buggers but they saw you talking to Alex and nothing short of a miracle would have slowed them down."
Harper kneeled and pulled the girls into her arms, grinning at the smacking kisses they gave her cheeks. "Ah, you can hardly blame them. I'm just as excited to see my two favorite people in the entire world."
"It's good to see you again, Harper. I'm going to go put these upstairs for you."
She nodded her head at the man in a silent thank you, smiling as Alex gave an excuse as well to follow her husband to the living quarters above the restaurant. It was the same loft in which Jerry and Theresa had raised their three children but since the family restaurant had changed hands to their youngest, it had only seemed right that the living quarters changed hands as well. Harper had not been there since graduating college so she found that she actually couldn't wait to see if the renovations had carried over from the restaurant side and just what the youngest Russo considered a bachelor pad.
"Mommy said that you're spending the entire week with us. Is that true?" the blonde, Lizzie, asked.
"Yeah, is it really true?" her sister, Katie, parroted.
"Really, truly, I will be staying here all week long. Only I'm going to be staying here at your Uncle Max's house so your mommy and daddy can finish getting ready for your new brother," Harper told them.
"Aw, Auntie Harper," both girls whined in unison, pouts prevalent on their faces.
"Hey, don't be like that. I'm only going to be a few blocks and a subway ride away so you're going to see me so much that you'll get sick of it. I bet you even pack my bags for me when it's time for me to go," said Harper, trying to cheer up both of the downhearted girls.
"But how is Santa going to find you?" asked Katie.
"Yeah, we told him that you'd be at our house when we wrote him," Lizzie informed her.
"Something tells me Santa finds all the good little girls just fine," a deep baritone announced his presence, striking a familiar chord in her memory. She looked up from the girls hanging off of her to see Max Russo standing there, a mischievous sparkle in his dark eyes. "Have you been a good girl this year, Harper?"
The man standing there was only a shadow of the boy she had known. His dark hair had grown to a length that between the point of acceptable and needing a cut and the unruly waves were evidence of a lack of product. He was a good head taller than she remembered him being more than a decade before and his skin was tanned due to a mixture of sun exposure and heritage. Lean muscles proved to the world that he was a man that enjoyed working out but was not devoted to the gym, some of which she was certain came from the addiction to rock climbing that Alex constantly complained about due to its slight danger.
If Harper had met him in a bar, she would have been more than willing to take him home for the night. However, this man was no stranger and she doubted Alex would appreciate her having an attraction to not only one but both of her brothers. But a little harmless flirtation never hurt. "I don't know. I guess I'll find out in the morning if there's coal in my stocking."
"Girls, why don't you go in the kitchen so Auntie Harper can have a moment to breathe? Grandpa just finished the cookies and he's looking for some helpers for decorating," Max suggested.
"Will you come with us, Auntie Harper?" Lizzie asked.
"Please help us decorate Santa's cookies," Katie implored.
"Tell you what. You two pick out the best two cookies and I'll be there in a few minutes after I talk to your uncle."
"Okay," they agreed in unison, delivering another smacking kiss to her cheeks before running off.
Max was there in an instant to help her to her feet, wrapping her in his arms the moment she was standing. There was warmth there that Harper silently admitted that she had missed since her self-imposed exile from relationships and a familiarity that could only be found in the younger man as well as some feeling that could not be named. It could almost be described as the feeling of coming home but even that could not accurately describe it.
"My brother was such an idiot," she heard him mutter over her head, causing her to jump out of his arms as though the comfortable warmth had become a flame that burned.
"I'm sorry?"
He shook his head. "It's nothing. I got to say that you were the last person I expected to be here this year."
Harper smiled. "Well, you can only spend so long running from the past before you have to face it head on."
"And Justin is that past you have to face?"
"He's part of it but only a small part. So, this place looks amazing. Who knew that the boy who used to have a bedroom that could have been declared a disaster area would grow up to be a successful chef and restaurant owner?" she teased him, her words actually causing his cheeks to redden.
"I guess we all have to grow up sometime."
"I guess so. So, tell me, anyone special in your life to share this with?"
Max shook his head. "I spend most sixteen hours a day working. That doesn't really leave a lot of time for a relationship to start."
"I don't know. I think if you find the right person, whatever time you have available is more than enough to keep a relationship going."
He opened his mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by the girls calling for their Auntie Harper to help them. She offered him an apologetic smile and a shrug of her shoulders before following the voices of her demanding audience.
-J-H-M-
Christmas morning dawned to find Harper waking from one of the most restful nights of sleep she had had in months, curled against Max's side with a knitted blanket barely covering them and the credits of an unknown movie rolling across the television screen. His hand had somehow tangled itself in the hair that had tumbled out of the meticulous bun she had worn it in and her hand was resting against his chest, his heart beating a staccato rhythm against her fingers. It was a position for lovers and one that left her wondering how it came to be as they had not started the evening like that.
Dinner had definitely been a feast with the largest turkey that Harper had ever seen and every side item that could ever be thought of, all made from scratch from recipes that Max had inherited from various friends and family and then perfected over the years. Drink flowed endlessly as numerous dishes were passed around and stories were shared alongside a good helping of laughter, making it the most enjoyable night that Harper had had in a long. In all actuality, it had been years since they had shared time together all in the same place but an outsider would hardly be able to distinguish that if they witnessed the scene around the dinner table that night.
The evening ended sooner than she would have wished but both of the little girls, their bellies full of good food and way too many of their grandfather's sugar cookies, had passed out sometime during the evening while the adults around them conversed. Sleeping children was their indication that the night had gotten away from them and the young married couple gave their apologies as Mason scooped both up into his arms, barely buckling under their combined weight as Alex chose to flash them home instead of using the usual means of mortal transportation. Jerry and Theresa took that as their cue to leave as well, Theresa making sure to threaten Harper in that motherly tone that she better find the younger woman there in the morning before she was pulled away by her husband.
After they worked together to clean the kitchen and dining room of the restaurant, the duo tiredly made their way up the stairs to the loft. As blissfully exhausted as they were, there was a sort of restless energy that remained in both of them that would not dissipate. Which was why instead of settling into one of the spare bedroom for a night of much needed sleep, Harper and Max found themselves on the overstuffed sofa with a bowl of popcorn between them and a holiday movie on the television as they played twenty questions like a couple of schoolchildren.
Who knew which one of them had fallen asleep first? It could have been Harper, the trip to her childhood home and the activities wearing on her and causing her to pass out without even realizing it. Or it might have been Max who had spent his day working to create the perfect meal for his family; something that she knew had to take more effort than any dinner rush. However it happened, the comfort between them was no longer and Harper would have to steel herself to deal with the potentially awkward situation.
Her only hope that he could possibly be sleeping was dashed when she peered up at this face and her eyes met his. "Uh, good morning," she greeted him, detaching herself from his body and immediately finding that she missed the closeness as she sat up.
Max stretched and lowered his feet to the floor to adjust his body into a sitting position as well, running his hands up and down his thighs. A nervous habit, she mentally noted, the same that Justin displayed when he rubbed the back of his neck. And then she berated herself for allowing her mind to venture back to thoughts of her ex because the night had proved that there were almost no similarities between the men other than genetics.
"Morning," he replied, his tone gruff from the lingering vestiges of a sleep interrupted.
Harper bit her lip, trying to figure out what to say to bring back some of the camaraderie they had shared the previous night. But she knew from experience that it was hard to recapture what was shared during the night in the light of day. "I should get changed before your sister and Mason bring the girls over. They've probably been up for hours bugging their parents to bring them so they can make sure Santa visited us."
His hand shot out to take hold of hers, trying to keep her from moving off the couch and away from him. "Harper—"
"We'll talk later, okay?" she assured him, giving his hand a squeeze before pulling away and escaping to one of the rooms where Mason had placed her luggage.
What was she doing? She had sworn off men when her break up had happened, refusing to put herself in the position to get hurt again. And now, after a year-long hiatus from dating, she had chosen to break it by having some semblance of feelings for the brother of the man she had once been sleeping with.
Harper could literally feel herself falling for a man that had once been like a little brother and they had spent barely an entire day together, the first after so many years apart. And the speed in which these feelings of attachment were forming frightened her to the very core because she had never been a love at first sight type of woman, always choosing to weigh all the options and gauge the possible outcomes before allowing herself to make a decision. In fact, she had only jumped with eyes wide shut once and that had turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life.
Harper groaned and threw herself on the bed, running her hands over her face before letting them fall to her sides. Her life was becoming a soap opera and it was about to become more so with the dreaded arrival of the man that she hadn't seen since he had walked out of her apartment and out of her life.
-J-H-M -
Christmas Day had gone by with more peace than Harper had expected it would even with the stark reminder of a love gone sour. And she was proud to say that the sight of him did not immediately make her turn tail and run all the way back to her apartment in Boston. In fact, with the exuberance of both her godchildren and the constant attention that she received from the couple she still considered her parents, she hardly had time to think about that cold Christmas Eve when she realized an entire year of her life had been a lie.
It also helped that Mason, Alex, and even Max, for reasons that she would need to question later, seemed determined to make sure that she was never put in a position to be alone with Justin. There was always someone by her side, handing her presents or various sugary treats or refilling her cup with fresh egg nog, proving that distance did nothing to lessen the love that they had for her. For that, she knew she would be eternally grateful but she also knew that there would come a time that she would need to confront the man if she wanted to move on completely.
And that time came sooner rather than later.
She was on the balcony, trying to catch her breath as all the togetherness was a bit much for a woman who had been on her own for the majority of her life. She heard the window scrape open and she turned, expecting Alex or one of her other semi-permanent companions, only to find the form of her ex-boyfriend climbing through it. Taking a deep breath in to calm the nerves that were suddenly dancing in her stomach, she silently prepared herself for the drama that was sure to enfold.
"Hello Justin," she greeted him, forcing a welcoming smile on her face.
"Harper, you're looking well," he said, walking over and leaning down to deliver a kiss on her cheek. So long ago it would have cause butterflies to flutter but now it was nothing more than a polite gesture shared between acquaintances. "I've been trying to catch a moment with you all night so we could talk but my family seems determined to keep that from happening."
"You know them. They worry."
The corners of his mouth turned up in what could be call a half smile. "And sadly, they're right to do so. When Alex told me that you were coming, I knew I had to be here so we could finally talk."
"You do know that you had a year to talk to me, right? It's not like I've been that hard to find this whole time," Harper replied, her arms coming up to cross over chest. "Hell, you could have picked up the phone and called me that night instead of letting me figure out that we were broken up all my own."
"I know. I handled things between us badly."
"Well, glad you finally figured that out. What are you really doing here, Justin? I mean, you didn't even have the decency to actually break up with me like a normal person. So, why is it so important to rehash old painful memories after so much time of radio silence?" Harper demanded harshly. "It's not like you're the type to pine over the mortal woman you abandoned after all, are you?"
His hand came up to rub the back of his neck and she knew her words had hit their target. "I know I handled everything horribly. And I know that you've successfully moved on with your life because Alex has been filling me in on everything that's been going on. Wow, three books in a year. That's amazing. I always knew you'd find your voice and make the world listen."
"So we're here so you can deliver platitudes over the success of my career?" Harper rolled her eyes and started to head to the window to get back to those who actually loved her. "Yeah, I think I can skip those and be just fine."
Justin seized her arm as she passed him and whirled her around. "Harper—"
She wrenched her arm out of his grasp, cutting him off from whatever words that he thought would keep her from leaving. "No, you don't get to walk out on me and then act like we're old friends meeting again after a year. Don't you get it, Justin? You broke my heart that day. You left me there with no explanation as to why you did. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough to be with the great wizard, like I was just some whore that kept your bed warm until you didn't need me to anymore. You had a year to explain why you did it but I never got a phone call or an email or even a fucking text message."
She paused, struggling to catch her breath and angrily wiping at the hot tears that had fallen down her cheeks. A Harper from long ago would never have uttered these words and if she did, she would have immediately felt guilt upon viewing the crestfallen expression on his face. But this was the modern day Harper, the one who had been walked on and still had the footprints on her back.
"No, you don't get to stand there and congratulate me on a job well done after everything you put me through," she finished, spinning on a heel and lifting a leg to climb through the window.
Only to be stopped by the soft voice of the man whom she had once loved with the entirety of her being. "I was scared. You might not know this but you're actually pretty frightening."
Harper turned slowly to look at him. "I've been called a lot of things but frightening isn't one of them. And what do you mean you were scared?"
Again, he rubbed his neck. "After the competition when I became headmaster of Wiz-tech, I had so many people counting on me and relationships stopped taking precedence. I believed that I needed to focus on those responsibilities without letting a personal life get in the way. I began to believe that to be a great leader I had to close off my heart which was easy since most of the women I met only cared about what my position could get them.
"But then we bumped into each other at that coffee shop and it was like an instantaneous attraction. You were like a breath of fresh air from what I had become accustomed to and I found myself falling for you. Trust me, I didn't set out looking for love that day but I found it with you," Justin explained.
"So what happened to make you decide that it wasn't enough?"
"I knew that if you breathed a word about commitment, I would've given it all up to marry you. The magic, the school, all of it to be with you. Then you took me to that holiday party at your editor's and I watched you schmooze with all of those people the entire night, looking practically radiant because you were in a place that you unquestionably belonged. That made me wonder where I would belong if I did actually give it all up. And that scared me because I've been a wizard for so long that I can hardly picture who I'd be if I couldn't be one any longer," Justin confessed.
"You'd be with me. How could that not be enough?"
"Because then I would just be the man holding you back," Justin roared. "Do you really think that you would have been such a success if you had stayed with me? That you would have gone to all of those places and met all of those people if you had stayed with a man who was, for all intents and purposes, lost? So, I did what I thought was best and I let you go."
"And you couldn't have told me all of this a year ago."
"You would have fought for me. And I wasn't worth it. Not then and definitely not now."
Harper pursed her lips together and swallowed thickly against the tears that could not seem to stop falling. "I guess we'll never know, now will we? You know, since you took it upon yourself to completely remove the decision from my hands. You know that it wasn't right that you did that, right?"
"I know."
She smiled sadly. "I never hated anyone as much as I hated you that day. I wish you could've just told me what you were feeling but I can understand why you didn't. I don't know if I would've either in your shoes."
"No, you would have talked to me because I think we both know you're better than I ever could be." A silence fell between them, the comfortable kind that only ex-lovers could share. "Do you think we'll ever be friends again, Harper?"
"I think it's a very good possibility," Harper said, leaning forward to wrap her arms around his waist. She closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scent that she had missed in their time apart, knowing with all the certainty in the world that they would once again rekindle their friendship. After another minute or two, Harper pulled away. "Come on; let's go back in before Alex sends the troops for us."
-J-H-M-
Harper knew that it was wrong to eavesdrop but that didn't mean she could help herself from doing so.
It was Max's fault really that she found herself crouched behind a wall. He had been acting different, cold even, since she returned to the warmth of the apartment with Justin following behind her. Yet every time she tried to get him alone to ask why, he dodged her by finding someone else to talk to or some activity that needed his attention. What had happened between the night before and now that would change the dynamic between them so drastically so fast?
And that was why, she decided, if he wasn't going to let her in then she was going to find out herself.
So she watched him the rest of the day as he interacted with the rest of his family. She watched as he laughed with his sister and brother-in-law, played with his nieces, talked to his parents and even his brother. Basically, he spent his time socializing with anyone and everyone that didn't happen to be her which, for some reason, bothered her more than it probably should. And when Justin slipped away to the bathroom, she watched as Max followed him and knew that she finally had her chance to find out why.
She heard the deep rumbling tones that were Max's voice when she was halfway down the hallway, causing her to duck into one of the bedrooms. "So, I guess that congratulations are in order," Max said.
"I'm not sure what you mean."
"Well, it looks like you got everything that you ever wanted."
"I guess so," Justin said slowly, the confusion coloring ever word.
"That must have been some talk on the balcony if she was willing to forget everything you did and take you back."
"Wait a minute, what do you think happened tonight?"
That was what she wanted to know and would have burst forth to ask that very question if Max hadn't started speaking again. "You know Harper deserves better than you. She deserves someone who isn't afraid to be seen with her in public because, God forbid, the Wizard Council might know about it. She deserves someone who will make snow angels with her and then go for hot cocoa during the first snow because she believes the first snowfall is magical. She deserves someone who will bake cookies with her just because it's a Saturday and stay in bed all day watching old movies because she likes having a lazy Sunday every once in a while.
"She deserves someone who will do his damnedest to make sure that he puts a smile on her face every day and who isn't afraid to stick around to fight with her because even the fights let her know that he cares. She deserves a man who will keep her heart safe when she gives it to him instead of throwing it away the first chance he gets because she doesn't easily give it. She deserves to have a man who knows her worth and values it because he knows he will be less of a man without her. Harper deserves to have a man in her life that will support her no matter what crazy thing she comes up with next because that's what you do when you're in love with somebody," Max finished.
They had either fallen into complete silence or were speaking so low that the sound couldn't reach her ears. However, the next question out of Justin's mouth was as clear as a bell. "And how long have you been in love with her?"
"I—"
It was like that moment in the movies when the blinders come off and the heroine in the story realizes who she was meant to be with all along. When she realizes that the dorky guy that she had known for most of her life was her soul mate, not the one that she dreamed of since she was nothing more than a schoolgirl. And that was when she knew that it was time to make her presence known to the brothers.
"I'd like to know the answer to that," she said, causing both brothers to jump and whirl around to face her. "Justin, do you think you could give us a few minutes alone?"
He patted his brother on the shoulder and kissed her on the cheek as he passed. "Uh, yeah, I'll just see you guys downstairs."
Harper waited until she knew that she was alone with Max before speaking. "So, was Justin right? Are you in love with me?"
"Harper, I…"
She took a few steps forward until she was standing in front of him with only inches between them, reaching out to take his hand into hers. "Please, Max, I need to know. Are you in love with me?"
"Yes," he answered, the word tumbling out with his next breath.
"How long have you felt this way?"
"I don't know. Harper, I couldn't even tell you the moment I stopped looking at you like my sister's friend and started looking at you as the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with." Her breath caught in her throat and she could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. "All I can remember is that it nearly destroyed me when I found out that you were his and I never wanted to kill someone more when I found out he walked out on you. You deserve so much better than him but if he's what's going to make you happy then I have to let you go."
"Why do you think we're back together?"
"Oh, come on, Harper. I saw you two hugging on the balcony earlier."
So that was why he had put up the cold front. "And you assumed that it meant I took him back."
"Well, didn't you?"
Harper shook her head with a laugh. "We've decided to be friends again, nothing more. I loved Justin once and I would have given everything to spend my life with him. But then he left. And I can't take the chance that he might do it again. You were right, Max. I deserve better."
"You're not together?"
She shook her head again. "No, how can I be when I just found out that there is somebody so much better for me standing right here? Max, I don't know if I'm in love with you yet. But I do feel something that definitely crosses the boundaries of friendship. And I'd like to explore those feelings and maybe see if they could be love, if that's okay with you."
"Really?" he asked with uncertainty.
Harper nodded and laughed as Max let out a whoop of excitement, throwing his arms around her and lifting her off of the ground as they embraced. And all thoughts were erased from her head the moment his lips touched down on hers, their warmth no more than a chaste pressure but there was a spark that ignited that she could never remember occurring with any past lover. They parted slowly, neither wishing to break the connection that was shared by a single moment, and Harper brought her fingers up to trace the contours of a face that was only a reflection of the boy she had known so well with a watery smile.
"Merry Christmas, Max," she said.
He leaned down and just before letting their lips meet again, he whispered, "It really is, isn't it?"
The End….