Author's Note: This is a little oneshot I wrote for my dear friend publia, for her real birthday present because the things I bought her were just red herring (-that's right, I used English Class terminology—wouldn't Mr. J be proud?). Just so she knows, this WAS NOT created because she told me I needed to write her something for her birthday. This was originally going to be a Christmas present, and then I sorta… didn't feel like writing it. So I decided it would be for her birthday instead—long before she mentioned anything about it. Also, I'm not going to tell her of its existence. I'm going to be mean and wait for her to notice~
Anyway, this story isn't exactly a fanfiction. Despite my best efforts, it's more like the script for an English dubbed Hetalia episode. So… anyone reading this should just pretend they can hear Jamie Marchi as Female Narrator, Scott Freeman as Britain, and J. Michael Tatum as France.
…What a long Author's Note! For anyone who's wondering, the story without any of my hugely extensive Author's Note(s) is 682 words.
Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any portion of Hetalia. I do not own the article this story was based off of (more on that below). I am making no profit off of this.
For a while now, Britain and France have been having an argument. Of course, they're always squabbling over one thing or another, but this one's been going on for nearly 170 years! Finally though, this one seems to be winding down.
See, on September 23, 1846, the planet Neptune was discovered using the calculations of Jean-Joseph Le Verrier. Le Verrier studied the orbit of Uranus and noticed that there was an abnormality on certain occasions. It was almost as if there was another planet exerting some kind of force on it! With a little math, he figured out where this other planet should have been located and had his friends at Germany's house look at that spot through a telescope. Voila~ Neptune was found.
And that should have been that, right?
Wrong!
An English mathematician named John Couch Adams had tried to figure out the same thing as Le Verrier at around the same time. In fact, he had predicted Neptune's position to within half a degree of Le Verrier's position! As the tale goes, the English astronomers of the time had ignored Adams, letting the discovery—and the credit—go to the French.
Well, of course the British couldn't stand for this once they learned the whole story. A consensus eventually emerged that both men deserved credit for the discovery.
And, for most of the world, that was that. However, Britain and France have still used the incident as an excuse to argue. (AN: I don't think the actual countries have had many disputes over this, but the science community certainly has been trying to work it out for quite a while.) Examples include:
"France, you bloody wanker! This is just like Neptune all over again—you're trying to take all the credit for yourself!"
Or, perhaps,
"'Ey, Britain—I suggest you try keeping your nose out of my business—just like you should 'ave done with ze discovairy of Neptune!"
And then, of course, it would continue with (insert Britain and France catfighting here):
"As if, Britain! You know it was only discovaired thanks to my Le Verrier!"
And,
"Shut your trap, France! My man found nearly the exact location a year before yours did and you know it!"
Now, however, it's been brought to attention that the consensus only came about because a certain country put out half of the truths about what really happened.
As it turns out, Britain's government had chosen to release only certain pieces of information about Adams' calculations—ones to make it seem that he had done just as much for the discovery of Neptune as Le Verrier had. In truth, Adams had not only been vague about the planet's location, but his predictions had been constantly changing! They ranged over a twenty-degree span, which had the Cambridge University Observatory scrambling during the summer of 1846.
Shortly after Le Verrier's German friends pointed their telescope at Neptune, the British released their altered version of the story (which, by the way, only included Adams' half-degree-away-estimation—his first prediction).
And now, we hear such things like:
"Ho ho ho ho ho! So it appears zat I was right all along, Britain! You know you should nevair underestimate ze—'Ey! Are you listening, Britain?"
"You're all so bloody stupid! Whose idea was it to publish that rubbish idea in the first place? Now France has gone and made us look like idiots again! Adams! Why couldn't you pull yourself together back there? You just had to second-guess yourself, didn't you…"
"Britain! 'Ey! Britain! Don't forget! I 'ave bragging rights! By our agreement, you 'ave to listen to me! Britain! Stop ignoring me!"
"…All idiots for publishing false papers—Can't you see I'm busy, France?"
And yet, some things will never change.
The lesson learned from this story? Britain and France simply enjoy arguing with one another.
Author's Note: All of the information about Neptune's discovery that is present in this story came from "Secret Documents Rewrite the Discovery of Neptune" written by William Sheehan, and published in Sky & Telescope magazine—the July 2003 edition. If anyone wants more information about this, he or she can search the title of the article online, and it should come up as the first result.