A/N: So this is a song-fic, one-shot to One Direction's "Back For You" for Madison and Nick. I mean, doesn't it just fit them so well? When I first heard it, I just thought "Maddick! All the way!" Anyway, it's from Nick's POV and just in time for Valentine's Day! Yeah, I planned that.
Whenever I close my eyes, I picture you there
I'm looking out at the crowd, you're everywhere
I'm watching you from the stage, yeah
Your smile is one every face, now
But every time you wake up, you're hearing me say
Good bye
I look out my window, once again having woke up by a nightmare. It was back when I was still a ranger, when we were still fighting the Master. But this time, I was alone. No team, no Mom, no one.
Like how I as before then.
And then Madison appeared.
Maddie.
Maddie.
I can still see her, picture her every feature perfectly. God, I miss her so much. I always think I see her just come out of the blue in any random crowd. I see her dark hair and eyes, her gentle smile and hear her musical laugh. I see her smile everywhere I turn and it's driving me insane.
In the rushing water I see her face. In the clouds, her figure is silhouetted. The bark of the tree captures her features. The stars connect to form her.
And every time I think I see her, I mentally kick myself. Why did I ever leave her? It was my decision to leave, my decision to eventually come back for her, but I still can't help regret it every once in a while.
I know that when she wakes up, she remembers our last conversation.
I know she stares out the window, hoping for me.
I hope she does. Because I know I do. I remember everything about it. I wonder if she still hears my good bye echoing through her head. I hope she does.
Because I do. I gaze out the window, wishing for her. I wake up hearing her voice.
Our last conversation. When I left her…I wonder if she thinks about me at all. I told her I'll come back for her someday. I promised it.
Baby you don't have to worry
I'll be coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
Lately I've been going crazy
So I'm coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
I hope she doesn't worry about me. I hope when she thinks of me, that she thinks I'm okay. I know for me at least, I spend every day wondering how she's doing. If she's moved on, like I wanted her to. But I can't move on from her.
So what was the point?
I promised her I'd come back for her sometime. I had promised it.
Love is a promise.
A promise I intend to keep.
And recently, I've been seeing her everywhere even more and hearing her voice all the time. It's haunting me, following me. It's in the one place I can never escape-my mind.
And it's my mind where it's the worst.
I've been dreaming about her so often, that when I first wake up, I think I'm back in Briarwood for a moment. A smile spread across my face at the thought of being back there…back home.
Back home with them.
With her.
But then I see the tan walls glaring back at me, devoid of anything. And then I remember- I'm not. I'm not home anymore. It may be called "home" but it isn't. Not really.
But when I come back for her, we'll find the perfect home. When I come back.
I've never been so into somebody before
And every time we both touch I only want more
So tell me nothing's going to change, yeah
And you won't ever walk away, yeah
Cause even though every night
You'll know what I'll say
Good bye
Madison…the way I feel around her is so different than the way I've felt about anyone else. She makes me feel…free from whatever is bothering me. Light. Airy. Like all my problems are heavy weights and when I talk to her, I let them drop.
Like I'm a tree in winter, bare, weighed down with heavy snow. And when I see her, it's spring again as the snow melts to reveal the blossoming and fresh branches.
The feeling is so…so foreign to me. I've never felt this way before, ever. But I like it. She brings out this different person inside of me that no one's ever done before.
Someone I've never shown anybody before.
Me.
Every time she touches me, I don't want her to let go. I want her to hang on to me forever. I love the idea of protecting her, keeping her safe from harm, warming her from the cold, guarding her from the shadows. But since I'm gone, I really hope nothing has changed between us.
Baby you don't have to worry
I'll be coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
Lately I've been going crazy
So I'm coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
I told her that I'd come back if there was something to come back for.
Or someone.
I meant her, of course. The thing that could make me go anywhere, do anything. Her. And then she said those words, those words I've wanted to hear for so long.
I want you to come back for me.
She really liked me. She wanted me to stay. And she didn't know it, but she would be the one I would return for.
I'd always return for you Maddie.
I just don't know how to prove it yet.
Right back for you
Right back for you
Only for Madison would I do anything for. If she wanted me to stay, I'll stay. If wanted me to go, I'll go. If she wanted me to leave her alone and get away from her and never see her again, I would go. Because I love her.
I love her.
And I need to tell her. Need to tell her she's the only thing in this world that I need, the only thing that I want.
Lately I've been going crazy
So I'm coming back
Yeah I'm coming back
For you
I need to see her again. The air has become difficult to breathe in these last few months and my lungs-and my heart-have decided to do something about it.
So that's why in a few minutes, I find myself on my motorcycle. Helmet on, jacket zipped, the engine roaring. I try not to think about how Maddie had seemed interested in it when we first met. How the motorcycle had seen the first meeting. Our last words.
For a piece of metal, it had sure seen a lot of emotions.
"Where are you going Bowen?" Mom calls out from the wooden porch, her hands clutching the railing. I look back at her, see her standing there, poised and calm. I remember why I really left. To set everything straight with both of my parents. But now that it's all over…
I have to stay with them. I'm their son. I need to be with them.
Right?
I'm almost tempted to go back inside, to move on with my life. But then the wind blows by me, carrying the voice of Maddie on it. Calling to me.
"Sorry mom, but I have something to take care of," I shout back at her. She doesn't scold me, reprimand me, try to stop me. She just simply nods and waves, like she knows. She knows how I feel about Maddie. She knows I have to go back for her. If I don't, I'll never make it.
Baby you don't have to worry
I'll be coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
Lately I've been going crazy
So I'm coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
I speed down the road, the wind clawing at me. It tries to stop me, to detain me from getting where I need to go. I just shake my head and squint my eyes against the tendrils of air that blow by me.
"You were the ones who kept reminding me to go back to her," I mutter. It worries me a little that I'm talking to wind, but I suppose love does that to you. Love makes you look at things in a different light. And Maddie was my light.
My light in the shadows, shining away the darkness.
"You're not stopping me now."
No one can.
Right back for you, right back
Right back for you, right back
Right back for you, right back
Right back for you
Lately I've been going crazy
So I'm coming back for you
Back for you
Back for you
You
I grip my fist even tighter as I walk up the front steps. They seem to creak wherever I put my foot down. I take a deep breath and then blow it out slowly, preparing myself for the worst.
The windows of the house show the cheerfulness inside. I can see through some of them but through none can I see what I'm looking for.
My fist rises up and I knock on the door, the sound breaking the seeming stillness in the air. There are little windows at the top of the door, frosted glass. They obscure what goes on inside.
I used to be like that. let people see just enough of me that they knew I was nice. Let people think they were close but keep them at arm distance. And it worked for a while.
Until her.
I keep my eyes focused on the small windows until I hear footsteps coming to the door. They're light, flowing.
The door opens.
Maddie.
Time has been kind to her. She's more beautiful than ever. I feel my heart speed up. I have not locked eyes with her in months. I'm drinking it in, savoring it. Only now do I realize how much I need to see her, to touch her to survive.
Her eyes widen at the sight of me and her mouth opens, confused. A look of wonder and befuddlement pass over her face. Our eyes do not leave the other.
She's gripping the doorframe tightly and I can only imagine the thoughts racing through her head. I don't care if she sends me away now. Now that I have seen her, just this once, it can get me by.
I give her a smile as her own mouth starts to form one. The happiness she is radiating is almost blinding. I hope I'm shining with that same content.
"Hey Maddie. I missed you."