Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that appear here or Hogwarts, nor do I own the Howlers. Let's just say I own nothing, the famous J.K Rowling does.
Summary: Sirius Orion Black gets a Howler from his dear sweet mother, please notice the sarcasm there.
Sirius Black was sitting in the Great Hall for breakfast with his friends James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. (It was their first official day at Hogwarts). He was eating his pancakes when he noticed a large, elegant, black owl flying towards the Gryffindor table. And, of course, it was holding a red letter, a Howler. The owl swooped down and dropped the Howler on the table.
"Oi!" A fifth year Gryffindor said, "You got a Howler!"
The whole Great Hall was looking at Sirius when he picked up the letter, "No…Really?" Sirius said sarcastically looking at the fifth year.
"You might want to open that, mate." James said, scooting away from Sirius, whom he was sitting next to. Peter and Remus on the opposite sides of the table scooted away also.
"I'll let it explode." Sirius shrugged. No sooner the letter exploded, leaving cider marks, burns, and a bunch of cuts on Sirius' hand.
"HOW DARE YOU?!" A screeching female voice shrieked, blowing out the ear-drums of everyone sitting around Sirius except for Sirius himself.
"HOW DARE YOU BE IN A HORRIBLE HOUSE LIKE GRYFFINDOR, YOUR COUSINS WERE IN A GOOD HOUSE LIKE SLYTHERIN! AND YOU SHOW UP BEING IN GRYFFINDOR?! EVEN YOUR FAVORITE COUSIN, ANDROMEDA, WAS IN SLYTHERIN AND SHE'S A BLOOD-TRAITOR! IT TOOK EVERY OUNCE OF MY PATIENCE NOT TO BLAST YOU OF THE FAMILY TREE AND DISOWN YOU!" –
"Wish you did, then I could live somewhere else." Sirius yelled back
—"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME UNLESS YOU'RE TOLD!" The letter screeched again. "I KNOW YOUR HORRIBLE ATTITUDE AND YOU YELLED SOMETHING BACK AT ME, DIDN'T YOU?!"
This statement shocked everyone in the Great Hall because it was true.
"IF YOU BREAK ANY RULES, BEHAVE BADLY, OR DO ANYTHING DO DISGRACE THE BLACK NAME, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN, BOY!" The letter threatened and then shredded itself.
"I already do!" Sirius yelled defiantly. "That—"he then started until Professor McGonagall yelled, "Mr. Black! Language!"
Sirius nodded, "Sorry, ma'am."
The other tables still were still in shock at the Howler, it had to be his mother, no other person would send a Howler. It didn't make any sense, though; why would a mother call their kid a disgrace and threatened them? Finally, a second year Hufflepuff called out, "Who was that?!"
Sirius stood on top of the bench who were supposed to sit on, and smile brightly at everyone. "I'd like you all to meet a loving and caring person, my sweet mother, Walburga Black!" He called out to the whole Great Hall. "I hope you all noticed the sarcasm," Sirius then added, causing the students to laugh.
"Mr. Black!" Professor McGonagall said again, now rising from her seat at the Staff table and walked towards the Gryffindor one, "Speak nicely of your family." She said when Sirius sat back down, looking sternly down at him.
"Why?" Sirius asked. "They never speak nicely about me."
"Black," Professor McGonagall said. "Would you like a detention on the first day of school?" She asked.
"My dear, sweet mother of mine would mind, but I wouldn't." Sirius replied honestly.
"Are you trying to get a detention to anger you mum?" asked Professor McGonagall.
Sirius smiled sheepishly.
"Get back to eating, Black." Professor McGonagall said and she walked off towards the Staff table.
The Great Hall went back to life, slowly. Professor McGonagall sat next to Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster. "That kid has nerve." She said to him.
Dumbledore nodded his head yes.
"This is going to be a long seven years isn't it, Albus?" asked Professor McGonagall.
"Indeed, Minerva." Dumbledore said smiling; he looked at the four first year Gryffindors flinging food at each other.
"And he's going to annoy his parents, right?" asked Professor McGonagall.
"He might have some help." Dumbledore replied, pointing towards the four Gryffindors.
Professor McGonagall looked at them and sighed, "BOYS!"