A/N: I am feeling deep. Yeah. Don't own PJO.
Camryn: Full of angst, you mean.
Me: WHAT WAS THAT?
Camryn: Nothing…nothing…
Warriors don't cry…
She walked into the Ares cabin, the small girl of seven.
One of the boys stood up, spitting on the ground. "You lost, girlie?"
Clarisse flinched. "Um…no…I'm your…your…"
Kevin sneered, while towering over her. "Speak up, girlie, I don't have all day."
Clarisse took a deep breath. "I'm…your…sister…"
Pause.
Laughter.
Kevin's chest rumbled with laughter. "Y-you? The daughter of…BAHAHAHAHA!"
Clarisse's eyes filled with tears. "It's true…"
Kevin wiped imaginary tears from his eyes, then smirked down at the young demigod.
"Well, if you're my sister…."
He cocked his fist.
"…prove it."
He grabbed the little girl's shoulder and drew back his fist.
Clarisse's heart raced, tears streaming down her face.
Father? She prayed. Please help me, oh please please please…
Clarisse….
Father?
Why are you crying?
She was surprised by the response.
Um, I'm about to get hit…
Stop it. Stop crying.
Why?
Pause.
You are a warrior. Warriors DON'T CRY. Now PROVE YOURSELF.
Clarisse's heart sank when her father's presence faded away.
That's IT?
"HEY!"
She snapped out of her daze.
"Are you just gonna stand there, crying like a baby, or are you gonna FIGHT?"
She trembled, tears forming in her eyes.
The older boy grinned cruelly and shoved her to the ground, spitting on her face.
"Weakling."
She could never explain what happened at that instant, when the words reached her ears.
Most people would say that something 'snapped'.
She got up, her featured formed into a scowl.
NO ONE insulted her like that.
Her ADHD kicked in, and without hesitation, she rammed her fist into Kevin's eye, knocking him flat. She then tackled him with all her might, sitting on his back and yanking his leg upwards until he slapped the wood heavily for a tap-out.
She got up, the scowl still there, and spat at him. She then faced the Ares cabin.
"Well? Anyone else?"
Everyone looked away, looking for something to occupy themselves with.
"That's what I thought," she muttered.
The tears were gone now. Never would they come again.
I am a warrior. And warriors don't cry.
LINE LINE LINE...
Her name was Jennifer Angela Michaelson.
Not Anastasia Phoenix, the Crown Princess of Arimithea. Not Princess Anastasia, the Warrior, the goddaughter of Ares, but Jenny Michaelson, the black girl in the predominantly white school, the freak/nerd who suddenly skipped to senior year in her freshman year.
Warriors were supposed to be strong, brave, intrepid.
She cried at the slightest reprimand, even if it wasn't directed towards her.
She had a slow metabolism. She wasn't thin, but curvy. She couldn't even run a mile without almost dying.
And she WASN'T brave. Five seconds alone with Tory shirtless, and her knees would atrophy into putty. Her heart rate would break the sound barrier.
And she would light things on fire.
A lot.
And the FINAL reason she wasn't a warrior?
She.
Couldn't.
Kill.
At All.
Future Queen of Arimithea…my ass…
LINE LINE LINE...
Clarisse La Rue.
You heard the name, and you would obey.
She had grown. Her build was strong, her height intimidating.
She ruled the camp with an iron fist, picking fights with everyone, showing no emotion all the while.
She knew no fear, love, happiness.
Just anger.
Every possible emotion was covered with anger.
Even that Jackson kid couldn't break her.
Then, she saw him.
Chris Rodriguez.
She readied her stance, about to tackle him. He lunged, and pinned her in five seconds.
Gasps could be heard around the amphitheatre.
No one beat her. She was unstoppable.
He pushed himself off of her and extended a hand. She was about to shrug it off and stand up, when…
…She looked into his eyes.
Something started to…froth in her stomach. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her heart did backflips, falling to her abdomen.
What is this feeling? This warmth…this creaminess…
Love…
She grabbed his hand, sweat pouring down her cheeks.
"You did good," she said, softly.
He nodded, and walked up the steps.
She stared, then slapped herself.
Hard.
I am a warrior…and warriors don't love….
…Or do they?
LINE LINE LINE...
She couldn't take it anymore.
The heartbreak, the pressure.
It was going to kill her.
As she bounced on Leela, her mare, tears running down her face from ANOTHER date-gone-wrong…this time even worse, she wondered why she had ever agreed to this.
She wasn't fit. She had the attention span of a goldfish, the NOT body of a model, and she couldn't even find a future husband.
And she STILL couldn't kill. The thought made her sick.
I am not worthy…I am not worthy to be your goddaughter, Ares…I am not worthy to rule…
She collapsed in the park leaning against a large ponna tree.
Then, he came. On the black stallion.
He wrapped his arms around her, and she sobbed, inhaling the scent of Old Spice and chocolate, tears of pain, anger and rejection painting themselves on his polo shirt.
She wailed. She wailed about her weaknesses, her lack of beauty.
Tory tipped her chin upwards. "Don't say that."
He told her. He told her how she was beautiful, how she was valiant. Good natured, and strong.
He sees all of this in me?
His light green eyes pierced her aquamarine blue ones.
Their lips met, a single tear running down her cheek, and a single one tracing his. His arms gracing her waist, hers clutching his hair, almost in desperation.
Don't let go…
I won't…
This love…this faith…it makes me stronger…
Tears fell from her cheeks, power raging from her body.
Are warriors what I think they are? Or are they…different?
LINE LINE LINE...
She looked down at Silena's body.
It dawned on her.
No more relationship advice…
No more fights over makeup…
No more wrestling tips…
And for the first time in ten years, Clarisse Andronika La Rue cried.
It felt like a weight, surrounding her heart, chipped away, melting into pure energy, love, and strength.
Her body racked with sobs, years of sheltering and facades dissolved into nothingness.
And for the first time…she felt…peace.
She stood up, her legs shaking, her frame softened.
"Kronos is going to pay."
LINE LINE LINE...
Anastasia stood up, her legs shaking.
Thanatos towered over her, glowering.
I will not give up…I have a made it this far….the world needs me….
LINE LINE LINE...
Clarisse raised her spear.
"Είμαι πολεμιστής ..."
I am a warrior…
LINE LINE LINE...
Anastasia raised her diamond blade.
"Είμαι πολεμιστής ..."
I am a warrior…
LINE LINE LINE...
And warriors DO cry.
A/N: The scenes with Anastasia have to do with my story Chronicles of a Teenage Mermaid and the Olympians.
Read. Review. I'll use the flames for smores.
And Clarisse is a little OOC, but it's intentional.
Peace.