TITLE

TITLE: Finding Me (1/?)
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker
EMAIL: LaVelleBelle@aol.com
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: This is set after the end of Season 5. There are no spoilers- just the speculation that Glory will die and Dawn will still be around.
FEEDBACK: Yes please! I'm quite proud of this story and would love a little affirmation!
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own all.
DISTRIBUTION: At my site (http://www.ourowndestiny.com) and FINNatics. All others, please ask.
DEDICATION: To Jen and Kate, those Evil Wenches, for making me want to write something *better*.
NOTE: This is more of a prologue than a first part; setting up the actual story. Also, the title is a song by Vertical Horizon.


The lights were out in Buffy's room, and Dawn wasn't even sure her sister was still inside. She pressed her ear against the door; listening for some sign that the slayer hadn't gone out on some unannounced patrol, but she could hear a shallow breathing coming from the room.

"Buffy?" she asked, pressing the door so it swung inward. She could hardly see anything in the darkness, but she heard her sister move on the bed.

"Dawn?" Buffy said, rubbing her eyes. "Is everything OK?"

"Yeah," Dawn answered, moving over to the bed. "I just wanted to see if you were doing alright. I know that fight with Glory took a lot out of you."

Buffy nodded, quickly maneuvering to turn on the lamp by her bedside. She winced as the light infiltrated her eyes, closing them quickly and waiting for them to adjust. "Yeah," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm just kinda sore all over."

Dawn sat down on the side of the bed and brushed a hair away from her sister's forehead. "Can you believe it's all over? I mean, a part of me didn't think it ever would be."

"I know," Buffy said, her eyes opening and watching her sister look down on her. "It was intense, but we saved the world," she said, quickly adding, "again."

"Just another day at work," Dawn said, smiling as she looked down. She stopped, seemingly mulling over her thoughts before speaking them. She hesitated, and Buffy sat up.

"Dawn, what is it?" Buffy asked, reaching out and taking her hand.

"I guess," Dawn started, unsure of herself. "I guess another part of me thought that when everything was done that I wouldn't be here, you know? That I'd just poof and be this key thing again."

"I know," Buffy said, "I was worried about that too but Giles performed his Giles-y magic and found us a way to keep you, something I will always love him for," she said, smiling. "I mean, you may be a big pain in my butt, but I'm kinda used to you now." Buffy grinned, watching her sister feign annoyance.

Dawn couldn't help it and began to laugh. "Yeah well, I wouldn't want you all alone in the house. You'd probably turn it into base camp or something," she said, stopping suddenly. "What are we going to do now?" she asked, her voice low. "I mean, Dad wants me back."

Buffy sighed. "I know Dawn," she said, moving from the bed and walking towards the closet. "I mean, I got us a little stay until we dealt with the whole Glory thing, but I really don't think there's a way out of it. He has a legal right to you Dawnie," she said, slipping on her bathrobe and facing her sister, whose expression was crestfallen. "It's only for the summer," Buffy added.

"Yeah, Dad only wants me in small doses," Dawn said sarcastically.

"Well at least he wants you at all," Buffy said, the hurt in her voice evident. "I mean, he didn't even ask to see me. You think your ex-wife dies, you realize life is short, maybe want to see your daughter," she said, looking away.

"Well, I'll gladly trade places with you. You go to Dad for the summer and I'll hang out with Xander and Willow, OK?" Dawn offered, grinning.

"Uh, no," Buffy said, laughing. "When you put it that way-"

Dawn got up off the bed and walked over to the window, peering outside. "He's out there, you know."

"Ugh, again?" Buffy asked, walking over to stand next to her window. There, below in all his smoking glory, was Spike. "God, he saves my life and all of the sudden he thinks we're supposed to be best buds," she said, opening the window.

"Spike," she called out, trying to be loud enough that he would hear her, but quiet enough so the next door neighbors would not.

Spike flicked his cigarette, the butt landing near the front steps. He looked up at her, a grin of adoration and annoyance greeting her. "What do you want? Can't a bloke smoke in peace?"

"Yes, he can," Buffy said. "At home in their crypts far far away from my house."

"Bloody free world," Spike said, digging in his pockets until he found another cigarette. "Besides, I'm just watching over you and the niblet case any nasties make their way over."

"Spike, go home. I can handle myself, and if you don't leave in five minutes, I'm going to handle you and I'm pretty sure it's not the kind you're hoping for," Buffy said, her voice dripping with venom.

"Ya know Slayer," Spike said, taking a long drag, "I'm starting to think you don't want me around."

Buffy sighed, shutting the window, her eyes locked on his and delighting in the disappointment she saw there. She turned, looking at Dawn. "God, I am so sick of him. Everywhere I turn, he's there."

"Kind of like me and my shadow, huh?"

"Yes, like me and my very annoying, chain smoking, cursing shadow."

"I can't believe I thought he was cool. I'm starting to think the Summers women are just destined to make bad choices when it comes to men," Dawn offered, crossing her arms.

Buffy smiled awkwardly. It was a thought she herself had had many a night. "We're not cursed. We just need to learn from our mistakes."

"Well, I know to never fall for any chipped vampires again," Dawn said, flopping down on the bed and looking up for her sister. "How about you?"

Buffy sighed, sitting down beside her sister and holding her hands in front of her. "I know to not take things for granted," she began. "And I know to fix things before they get too unfixable."

"Like Riley?"

"Definitely like Riley," Buffy said, looking at her sister. "I miss him."

"I know you do," Dawn said. "He'll come back."

"I'm not so sure," she said, shrugging. "Life doesn't always come with a happy ending tacked onto it."

"Well, considering I'm going to be spending the summer with Dad and his secretary, I'm going to have to agree with you," Dawn said, frowning.

"It could be fun," Buffy said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "Xander and I will drive you up to LA and then you know Dad will spoil you rotten like he *always* does." She stopped. "I mean-"

"I know," Dawn said, shifting uncomfortably. The subject of their memories and the reality of them was still a sore point for both of them. "It'll be fun, I guess. And Dad said Melinda can come stay over for a weekend, so that should be cool."

"See? Doesn't sound so bad," Buffy said, smiling. "Listen, start packing and I'll take you to the Bronze tonight, OK?"

"You're kidding. I thought that was a birthdays only deal," Dawn said, excited.

"I think you earned it," Buffy said, getting up and opening her closet, surveying her clothes. "Besides, it's not like I'm allowing you to booze it up. We'll just hang out and dance a little."

"Can I dance with Xander?" Dawn asked excitedly.

Buffy stifled a laugh as she selected a black skirt from the closet. "I'm sure Xander is up for a little Dawn-boogie-age."

"That sounds so wrong," Dawn said, laughing. "But cool. Thanks."

"Sure," Buffy said, smiling as she pulled her sister into a hug. "I'll miss you. I mean, who will I have to annoy me to no end?"

"I'm pretty sure a certain vampire will pick up the slack," Dawn said, laughing. "Just promise not to stake him until I return. Unless you can catch it on video- vampires photograph, right?"

"Yep," Buffy said, grinning. "But something about him," she said, sighing. "It just seems wrong to kill something so pathetic."

"Just let him hear you say that," Dawn said, "that'd be worse than killing him."

"Yep, and much more fun!" Buffy picked out a blue top and laid it next to the skirt on the bed.

"Nice choice," Dawn said, looking down at the outfit.

"Thanks," Buffy said, nodding. She felt too tired to dance, but Dawn needed to have some fun before leaving and Buffy still believed in her motto: "We saved the world. I say we party."

"I'm going to go get ready," Dawn said, walking to the door. "When are we going?" she asked at the door.

"About 8?"

"Cool," Dawn said, smiling. "It's gonna be a blast!"

Buffy smirked as Dawn walked out the door. This night at the Bronze sounded like something that both of them needed- a brief respite from the "Big Bads" of the world to just relax and have a little fun.

As Buffy started to undress, she closed her eyes and tried to block out all the worries which consumed her every quiet moment and tried to convince herself to let it go for only this one night.

To Be Continued...