DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH (NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH IT) AND NEVER WILL (DAMN). I DO OWN BOOYAH ENTERPRISES! AS WITH THE PREQUAL TO THIS FIC I RECOMMEND THAT IF, THIS TIME, YOU ARE A DIE HARD BAKURA FAN THAT YOU HAD BETTER TAKE THIS FIC WITH A PINCH OF SALT. TEE HEE!
The Emergency Millennium Item Confiscation Kit.
As demonstrated here for you by Yami Bakura.
Booyah Enterprises are back and we are better than ever!
First we brought you the Emergency Yami Sedating Kit, now we are very pleased to announce the arrival of an invaluable upgrade to this already essential product.
THE EMERGENCY MILLENNIUM ITEM CONFISCATION KIT!
Some of you, our valued customers, may have realised that it may be near impossible to use your Sedating Kit while your Yami is still in possession of their Millennium Item so we, being the considerate souls we are, came up with a great solution! This amazing upgrade includes a ten-foot barge pole with detachable 'grabber' to snatch the Millennium Item from a safe running distance, and a brass cauldron with a tub full of our patented extra-strength Hydrochloric Acid so that you can finally be rid of that pesky Millennium Item for good! All for £7.99 and £3.00 post and packing!
Buy now and we'll send you your own bodyguard called Les who thinks with his fists, feet, forehead, nails, teeth, nose… well everything but his brain really. (Do not expect bodyguard to be able to tell you and your Yami apart. Bruises and broken bones may occur on your part)
Now for the demonstration portion of the commercial. Now, I've had to hire a new beautiful assistant due to our previous helper suffering from 'multiple bodily ailments'…
Flashback to Marik lying in a bed covered in bandages and with an eye patch over his left eye. Sounds of groaning and yelps of pain
…….. um yes, where was I? So please welcome our new helper, Yami Bakura.
Bakura enters pushing a trolley holding a long pole and a brass cauldron full of a liquid that bubbles and spits over the rim, and wearing a blue silk strapless cocktail dress and silver sandals
Bakura would you please pass me our first object for demonstration.
Reaches across to take pole from Bakura at the same time as Bakura picks it up and twirls it round. Cauldron of Hydrochloric Acid spills all over Bakura. His cocktail dress isn't the only thing that burns
Oh dear… Looks like there isn't going to be a demonstration today… Bakura stop screeching, your skin peels off like that all the time… you could always see the muscle and bone through that arm… ha…um……
Watches Bakura being carried away in a tank of cold water
OH GIVE HIM A PLASTER HE'LL BE FINE! Holy freaking Ra! Someone send me an assistant that isn't a complete klutz! Why don't you all just……….
Falls unconscious on the floor. Camera pans behind her and we see Malik holding a steaming 8DE56AD tranquilliser gun and a feathery dart poking out of presenters back. Malik speaks
That's for experimenting on my Yami! No one is allowed to beat up on him but me!
Notices the camera and speaks to audience
Thank you for watching this commercial, we hope that we will receive your custom soon….
… Also I would gladly like to report that several presenters were harmed in the making of this commercial.
THE END