I wrote this a few months back, just the first chapter, after finishing the book My Heartbeat which was really pretty, and kinda said, and very, very good. Being home sick means I have time to actually work on my stories, so I started chapter two. But I shant post until I get atleast ten reviews!!

ALSO, I tried to kinda reverse roles here. I tend to really make Remi weak and feminine, but I thought I should try and make him more butch. I always thought he'd be the first of the Marauders to smoke….

It was a cold-ish Saturday during the winter holidays, and the Marauders plus Lily were lounging about in their room.

James was finishing a story. "And THAT is why we're not allowed in the third floor men's bathroom."

"What can I say?" Sirius grinned, "Remus and I thought that would be the perfect place for a pipe bomb."

"Yeah, well you and your little wife-y are stupid." James narrowed his eyes. Lily laughed a little

"All right, Remus, truth or dare?" Lily asked him through her giggles. Remus thought about this, leaning his head against Sirius.

"Truth."

"Um…" Lily looked about, and James sent her a warning look. He knew what she was going to ask, and didn't want her to. "How long have, er, you and Sirius been a couple?"

The room became very, very, incredibly painfully quiet. "Sirius?" James broke in, loudly to move the topic along. "Why'd you start smoking?"

"First off, you didn't ask me truth or dare you twat." Sirius stuck his tongue out, inching away from Remus. "Second off, because everyone was doing it, and Moony got me hooked."

"That's a lame excuse." Peter interjected. "'sides, no one else was smoking!!"

"We're not." Remus said quietly, looking at the ground with sad eyes. "A couple I mean, we're not a couple."

"But I assumed—" Lily began.

"Yeah, well you know what they say about assuming." Sirius cut her off, acid in his voice. "Besides, I'm not gay, Rem is though."

Remus glared at him. Lily wondered if this was something that had gone on for a very long time. She had always thought Remus and Sirius were in love. Even in first year, when she didn't quite grasp what that meant.

"Why am I gay, yet you're not?" Remus demanded."What makes me gayer than you?"

"Because unlike you, I haven't slept with anybody!" Sirius almost shouted.

"Well that doesn't make you straight, does it?" The werewolf snarled.

"It sure as hell doesn't make me a fucking queer." Sirius countered, standing up.

"Er… Peter, truth or dare?" James tried again to move the topic away from the growing argument between the two boys.

"Sorry, I'm leaving." Remus said. "I don't like the company particularly." He stormed out, pausing only for a moment to slam the door.

"Yeah, well, FUCK YOU!!" Sirius shouted after him. The raven haired stomped across the room and locked himself in the bathroom.

"I'll go after Remus…" Lily whispered. "And um, sorry…"

James sighed. "Yeah, it's fine. Bound to happen again, eh Wormtail? Don't worry about it Lily, Pete and I can handle Padders." He half-heartedly smiled at his girlfriend.

"Remus?" Lily called out, her breath visible in the winter air.

A way off, she saw a figure move. "Lily?" it inquired and she nodded, running up to a coatless Remus, and cigarette between his vaguely blue lips.

"Hey, um, I'm sorry." She told him, trying not to breath in the smoke.

Remus looked down at his feet a little sadly. "It's fine…" He sighed heavily. "It's not the first time."

After a pause, Lily asked him, "Have you really… you know…?"

"Had sex? Heh, yeah…" Remus sounded almost embarrassed. "Did you know that seventh year three years back? Alexx with two x's, the Ravenclaw?" Lily nodded. "Yeah, um, him…"

"Oh… um… oh…" was all the redhead could manage.

"It was just a one night stand, we were both kind of drunk…" Remus shrugged.

"It was fourth year?" Lily said, shocked. "What were you doing drunk?"

Remus laughed a little at her reaction (a little, oh so naive, sort of laugh), "Lily, I think you are amongst a incredibly small minority of people in our year who didn't start drinking third year!"

"I know, but I always thought YOU of all people—"

"Would the first Marauder to start smoking? Sirius didn't start until almost six months later! I'm the anti-straight edge."Remus shook his head.

Lily stared at him; Sirius was the first person she knew to smoke. She was now very disillusioned. Remus always seemed so… buttoned down. "Wow, I've been wrong about a ton today… But, are you actually…um… well… "

"Yes, Lily, yes. I'm gay."

"Oh, and, um, Sirius?"

"Will die sad and alone, or with some bird he doesn't really love." Remus growled bitterly, throwing his cigarette onto the ground and grinding into the snow with the heel of his shoe. "Because he doesn't have balls enough to see what's in front of his sodding nose."

"Which is?" Lily asked.

Remus blushed a little, or maybe it was the cold finally bringing pink to his scarred cheeks. "Me…" he said, biting his lip at his immodesty. "He won't admit that he's not in love with me."

"How do you know he is?" The girl demanded. She had a sad feeling that Remus was lying to himself about Sirius.

"Because," the boy responded carefully, "otherwise, why does he call my name out when he sleeps?"