by: the wonkamatic
this is what i think inuyasha's life must have been like.
i have invented names for inuyasha's mom and dad.
i don't own inuyasha. there, i said it. please don't sue. i don't particularly like capitalizing, and this is an old fic i don't feel like editing. i wrote this roughy ... 2003.
-----------notes
hahaue-mother ofukuro-mother, male way of referring to her;
chichiue-father(more formal) oyaji-father (sorta like 'my old man)
jiisan/jiji-grandfather/old man
the court was a flurry; the lady was giving birth! oh, who was the lucky father? she had lay down with many a suitor to try and get with child, and now the time had come for her to give birth. she hoped it a son, for a daughter could not be the heir. she already knew whose child she was having; he had told her as soon as it was conceived. he was the demon lord of the western lands and she was so happy. she knew he was happy as well, and hoped the court would not punish her to severely for birthing a half breed. she was in great pains, but the thought of bringing forth into this world the son of so noble a demon made it bearable. she pushed as the midwife held her hand. during this sacred time of childbirth, no man was allowed near her, so she could not be in the presence of her beloved demon lord, but she could feel him near. she knew he was right outside in his human disguise. with a final painful groan, the child came forth into the world and she gasped for air as it cried. the midwife exclaimed, "it's a boy!" and went off to clean him. lady fumiko was so happy. she had a son.
"what's the meaning of this!" the lord of the castle yelled. lady fumiko flinched, and
bowed low to show she was sorry. he snorted and as soon as she sat up, he slapped her across the
face.
"how dare you sleep with a demon!" he growled. she remained silent, looking away.
"insolent bitch! answer me!"
"...i knew not what he was, my lord. had i known..."
"lies, all of it! i should have the half breed killed!"
"no! please! you mustn't!" she screeched, kneeling in fron of him. "kill me instead! just
allow my inuyasha to live!" she sobbed.
"why should i? what if he wants to inheirit my land?"
"i will see to it that he is no where near here when he comes of age! just spare his life!"
"perhaps he may be spared yet..." the lord sneered. "he shall become a servant for my men."
"as long as he lives, it matters not!" fumiko whispered. she was grateful; she had spared
her precious son from an untimely death. she only hoped he would not hate her for making so he had
to serve this man; she knew his comtempt toward demons and knew he would mistreat him badly. she had
to make sure to get him out of this land before he was old enough to serve the master. she decided
to inform inutashio, the father of her son, to try to formulate some sort of plan.
she stole away in the darkness, going to the hidden palace of the demon lord to speak with
him as he had commanded. inuyasha trailed behind her, eager to finally meet his father. for three
years he had never seen inutashio. ofukuro also mentioned he had a half brother by the name of
sesshoumaru. he wanted to meet him too. maybe they could get along.
soon the travelers came across what seemed like a vast field. lady fumiko uttered some
ancient incantations and a huge palace appeared. she led inuyasha inside, holding his small hand.
he looked around, wide eyed and amazed at all there was inside the home of his father. he noticed
many of the courts people stared at him and his mother. he didn't understand why.
"ah, milady fumiko!" a tall, orange haired man said.
"hello, sir toramaru. it has been a long time." she smiled, gesturing towards inuyasha. he
looked up, his eyes wide and taking every detail in.
"this is my son, inuyasha." she said, pushing him forwards slightly.
"ah, he has indeed resemblence to the demon lord! and how nobly dressed is he in navy blue
robes!" toramaru praised. at this, it seemed the entire court relaxed, and inuyasha could have sworn
he heard them utter a collective sigh of relief.
"may i have an audience with lord inutashio?" fumiko queried.
"of course, of course! right this way, milady. you too, young lord inuyasha."
they walked down a long hallway to a massive set of beautifully carved wooden doors. two
guards stood to either side of said doors, dressed in the finest armor and holding the finest swords
inuyasha had ever seen. they looked to surpass those of the castle which he called home. the doors
creaked open to reveal a vast bedrrom filled with the softest looking pillows he had ever seen.
without thinking, he ran to the nearest one, and jumped into it. they were soft indeed.
"i am glad my son approves of the pillow on which he lies." a booming voice declared.
inuyasha looked up and saw a man with long silver hair much like his own and stripes on either side
of his face. he wore an elegant white kimono and had two swords on his belt. inuyasha smiled and
got up from the incredibly soft pillow.
"chichiue!" he exclaimed, running towards him to hug him.
"inuyasha...my son..!" inutashio gasped, and pretended to fall from the force of the young
pup attatched to his waist. fumiko hid her smile with her hand as she watched the father and son
play. inutashio was tickling inuyasha and he was squiming to get away.
"inuyasha! i am going to get you now!" the demon lord laughed as he now chased the energetic
three year old around his chambers. inuyasha giggled and ran to a corner that was particularly full
of pillows. he quickly ducked underneath them and became very still. inutashio pretended he could
not smell his son, and looked around for him.
"hm, i wonder where inuyasha went...i have a nice present for him!" at this, inuyasha jumped
out of the mound of pillows and latched onto his father in a piggy back type of fashion.
"whatcha get me? whatcha get me!" he chorused. inutashio smiled and pulled inuyasha from
his back. he went to a closet in the back of the room, and rumaged around for a bit.
"ah! here it is!" he said, and gave the young pup his gift. inuyasha opened the wooden box
and found a set of red robes.
"aww, it's just clothes." he grumbled. he had hoped it was something cooler, like a sword.
"but not just any clothes, my son! these are robes spun from the fur of a fire rat. they
are stronger than any suit of armor worn by humans! the best part is that the fix themselves and
grow at the same speed as your body. plus, they can withstand fire!" inutashio said.
"wow! they're cool!" inuyasha replied. "hahaue, can i put them on now?" he turned to his
mother. she nodded in response, and went to him to assist him. taking off his navy blue robes and
folding them, she helped him into the red hakama and haori that he had recieved.
"wow! thanks chichiue! they look so cool on me!" he said, admiring himself in the new
outfit. inutashio smiled and remarked at how handsome his son looked in the splendid red robes.
"son, i think it's about time you met your half brother."
"is he nice like you?" inuyasha smiled.
"well, you be the judge. he was raised mostly by his mother..."
"'k! i wanna meet him! where is he?" inuyasha ran around the room, holding his arms out to
let the sleeves of his haori flutter. as he was running, he ran into something solid and very much
alive. he looked up to see a shorter version of his father.
"is this the disgrace?" said the boy in a haughty tone. inuyasha didn't like him very much.
he seperated himself from the offending demon and hid behind his father.
"sesshoumaru! mind your manners! he is your brother!" inutashio said.
"why should i? he's the son of a mortal bitch!"
"hey! don't talk about hahaue like that!" inuyasha yelled from his spot.
"what, are you going to stop me, i ask?" sesshomaru sneered.
"boys, don't fight." inutashio asserted. "the last thing i need is my two heirs fighting."
"TWO! HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS FILTHY BASTARD IS ENTITLED TO YOUR DOMAIN?"
"DON'T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME!" inutashio thundered. he would have a talk with
sesshoumaru's mother about his upbringing.
after their trip to the palace of the demon lord, inuyasha and lady fumiko went back to
their home. they continued to live as they had been instructed: inuyasha was only allowed outside
at night. one such night, inuyasha saw many of the noblemen playing with a ball. curious, he ran
into the cirlce of men, wanting to be part of the game. the man who caught the ball sneered at him,
throwing the ball aside as he uttered something inuyasha had never heard before. he chased the ball
anyway and noticed his mother nearby. he ran to her, throwing the ball away.
"hahaue, what's a hanyou?" he asked. she stood silently, crying. he didn't understand what
the man had meant, but he knew it must've been bad, since it made his mom cry.
"hahaue, i don't care what it is, or if i am one. i'll be strong for you!" he said, hugging
his mother tightly. she smiled tearfully, and held her son to her body. his life would be harsh
indeed. she led him to a nearby pier.
"look into the reflection, inuyasha." she gestured to the water. he looked up from his
mother's robes and stared at the reflection of him and his mother.
"inuyasha, tell me, what do you see"
"me an' you." he responded.
"do you see any differences between us?" she asked. he squinted his eyes and stared at the
reflections intensly.
"no. just that you're a grown up and i'm not."
"i wish the world could see it that way as well, my son. but look harder..."
"oh, i have different ears." he noticed the white triangular ears atop his head. his mother
did not have them, nor did his father or his brother.
"see? that and your silver hair make the courtisans fear you."
"howcome they're afraid of me? i'm just a kid." he whispered. he didn't understand. all he
knew was that this was hurting his mother and he wanted only for her pain to end. she sighed and
held him closer.
"humans fear that which they do not understand. it is a fact of life. they are afraid of you
as they are afraid of your father. you are stronger than they, so they do not attack you."
"stronger...? how?"
"you are a hanyou, a half demon."
"you mean chichiue is a..."
"he is the demon lord of the western lands, a very powerful inu youkai. your ears are a that
of a dog. i'm sure you have other dog like attributes."
"k. i guess." inuyasha mumbled, touching his tiny black nose. 1
one night, when inuyasha was about 7 in human standards, he was wandering about the gardens
at night. suddenly, a flea demon landed on his shoulder and introduced himself with a bite on the
cheek. inuyasha swatted him away, and looked at him as he fell to the ground.
"are you master inuyasha?" the flea spoke.
"who are you?" he replied, wide eyed. the flea became three dementional once more and hopped
onto inuyasha's shoulder.
"i am myouga, the flea demon. i have come upon orders from lord inutashio."
"...chichiue..." inuyasha breathed. "what d'you hafta say? is it good news?" he asked in a
happy voice. inuyasha loved his father dearly, although he had not been allowed to visit much for
fear of either sesshoumaru attempting to kill him, or his mother being punished for leaving the
castle. but he had gotten all sorts of gifts from his father...small trinkets and toys, play swords
and tops, candies and fruits. all sorts of fun things to share with his mother. he knew his father
loved him dearly.
"i regret to say it is most tragic in nature." the flea informed him.
"what happened?"
"your powerful father has been wounded terribly in a battle against the lord of the eastern
lands, a great moth youkai. he managed to seal them away, but was not able to make it out
unscathed. i fear he will die of it. he has ordered you and your mother to visit him one last time."
"i don't know if mother can...she may be punished for leaving the castle at this late hour"
"it matters not. he has spoken." myouga replied, and hopped back the way he came. inuyasha
went to get his mother, to tell her that her beloved was dying. he was quite upset, because he
knew this would make her cry. he hated to see her cry. he never wanted to see a woman cry. but he
knew he had to tell her. she had to know. it was his father's last orders to see them at his bedside
as he departed this realm.
"hahaue...a flea demon named myouga came by..." he said as soon as he roused her from her
sleep. she looked at him, and instanly awoke.
"myouga-jiisan? he is one of your father's servants! what did he say?"
"he...he said that chichiue is hurt...that he might die..." inuyasha couldn't tell her that
inutashio was going to die. he had to give her some semblence of hope; he never wanted to see her
cry...ever again.
"anything else, my son?" fumiko asked, trying not to think about the possibility of her love
dying. she knew how her son hated to see her upset.
"he wants us to visit him. now." he whispered. fumiko knew inutashio must be dying to send
for them so suddenly. she quickly packed inuyasha and her sparse belongings into a silk bag and they
stole into the night, in the direction inuyasha had seen myouga go. soon they were in the seemingly
open field, only this time, toramaru was waiting outside for them.
"good of you to come, milady, young lord." he bowed gracefully. he led them into the lands
of inutashio and soon they were inside his chambers. inuyasha noted that sesshoumaru was also
present, as was an unfamiliar female inu youkai. she stood near sesshoumaru, who had gained several
inches in the four years since inuyasha had last seen him. he was now graceful and tall; inuyasha
still held contempt towrds the full demon. they had never gotten along since sesshoumaru would
always insult inuyasha and his mother. he glared at sesshoumaru and held on tight to his mother's
kimono. sesshoumaru reguarded him with a cold stare.
"fumiko...is that...you..?" inutashio murmured. his nose sniffed, and he nodded to himself.
"anata...what happened?" fumiko cried. "what did this to you?"
"wicked moth demons from the east." toramaru supplied. he didn't want inutashio to quicken
the pace at which he was dying by talking too much. "they ambushed him and some of his guards. he
was able to seal them away in a cave, but was badly injured by the attack"
"i see." fumiko replied. she rushed to inutashio's side, and clasped his hand with hers.
"hahaue...chichiue..." inuyasha whispered, following his mother. fumiko lay her head down
on the rich silk that covered her beloved and cried softly. inuyasha turned away. he did not want to
see her moment of weakness.
"is inuyasha here...?" inutashio gasped. inuyasha moved closer to the bed. he pulled on the
sheets to let him know he was there.
"i'm here, chichiue." he said. he could hear sesshoumaro growl in the back of the room and
turned to look at him. the full demon glared angrily at him. inyasha glared back. he turned back to
his dying father. "what is it?"
"son...when you are old enough, i will send myougajiji to you. heed his advice at that time.
you will need it...and know that i will always watch over you..." with those last words, the great
demon inutashio died. fumiko sobbed loudly, forgetting her manners. she clawed at the sheets in
anguish. inuyasha didn't cry. he stood there, angry. he looked at sesshoumaru and knew the
adolescent demon was actually happy that his father was dead. now sesshoumaru was the lord of the
western lands. inuyasha hated that fact. and so the anger began to grow in his heart.
"BRING THEM BACK TO ME, DEAD OR ALIVE!" the lord of the castle bellowed at his servants.
fumiko and inuyasha were missing. they had run away against his orders. he was furious at fumiko's
disobedient ways. this was it.
"...dead, sir?" one servant was hesitant.
"you DARE question my authority?"
"no sir! we will do as commanded!"
"good." he shooed the servants away and continued to brood.
little did he know that inuyasha's ears had picked up his shouting from the edge of the
forest surrounding the castle. inuyasha turned back toward his mother, shaking his head. it was not
safe to return to the castle.
"so...he has sent them out to search for us?" she asked. inuyasha nodded. he jumped into
her arms and whispered to her.
"where are we gonna go now?"
"i know not, my son..." she replied, heading deeper into the forest.
for three months they had lived in the forest. fumiko had discovered a cave hidden behind a waterfall, and had set up a small camp. the two had survived eating fish, berries, and anything else they could find. they sustained themselves in the cave until fumiko's supply of candles ran out. for the young hanyou it was nothing; he could see in the dark quite well, but his mother needed the light to make clothing and prepare food. so inuyasha told her to stay inside the cave and he would fetch her some more candles. she agreed, and he hopped out of the cave. he took longer than he expected finding some candles, however. he felt something in his heart that did not bode well...he hoped hahaue was alright.
fumiko was waiting inside the cave when she felt the urge to relieve herself. she went out
into the forest to do so. when she was finished, she heard some rustling in the brush. thinking it
was her son, she moved towards the sound, whispering his name. horrified, she realized too late that
it was not her son in the bush...she heard the sound of a bow priming and an arrow being drawn. she
screamed and ran as fast as she could towards the waterfall to hide in the cave once more. the air
whistled as an arrow sailed towards her. inuyasha jumped up and caught the arrow with his demonic
reflexes before it could pierce his mother.
"i told not to leave the cave." he whispered harshly. she looked at him sadly.
"gomen, inuyasha, i should have listened to you." she replied. he smiled.
"s'ok, hahaue. you prolly had to something important." she nodded. "go deeper into the
woods, i'll go get our stuff!" he said hopping to the cave. she ran farther into the forest, and
inuyasha soon followed, trailing her scent. they met up, and searched for shelter. they found a
small cave beneath the roots of a great tree. inuyasha sniffed to make sure it was vacant, and as
soon as it was determined that it was, they crouched inside. he took the candles from his sleeve and
handed them to her. she accepted the items and inuyasha went outside to catch some dinner. fumiko
smiled. her son was growing up splendidly. he could read simple liturature and write his own name
quite well. and he already knew how to survive, in case she were to die. he came back with a rabbit
and some fire wood.
fumiko found her flint stone and started a small fire to cook the rabbit's tender flesh.
they ate in the silence of their company and soon, both lay sleeping in each other's warmth. during
the night, inuyasha heard something that roused him from his sleep. he got up and sniffed the air;
it stank of his elder half brother. something was not good at all...he crawled out of the hole and
came face to face with an ugly toad like creature.
"lord sesshoumaru! i have found your weakling brother!" the implike demon screeched.
"i see you have served me well, jaken." sesshoumaru replied and appeared. "why, inuyasha.
you seem to be taking refuge within my domain. i cannot allow this, you know. you must leave here
or die by morning."
"but...! hahaue!" he complained.
"oh, so your wretch of a mother is in hiding also? i shall kill her to avange our father!"
"what...? it was moths that killed chichiue!"
"yes, but had your filthy mother not seduced him, he would have never let his guard down so
much as to allow a scratch from the demon. in the end, it was. her. fault." sesshoumaru smiled in a
cold manner, and turned to his little servant. "jaken, go and kill the bitch." he ordered. jaken
scuttled into the hole, screeching.
"yes, m'lord!"
"HAHAUE! NO!" inuyasha tried to jump after him, but sesshoumaru caught him.
"i cannot allow you to intervene. she must die for her insolence. humans are nothing but
feed for us demons, they should learn their place!" he said, tossing inuyasha into a tree. the
young half demon hopped back down, scratching his brother's arms with his claws.
"sankontessou!" he screamed, scratching and swiping at sesshoumaru.
"iron claws. cute, inuyasha. cute. but nothing comapered to my poison talons!" sesshoumaru
laughed as he grabbed inuyasha's arm, pulling the sleeve back, revealing inuyasha's pale flesh to
the night air. he ran his claws down inuyasha forearm, laughing cruelly as the boy yelped in pain
and grabbed his arm reflexively.
"ite..." inuyasha whispered. sesshoumaru dropped him to the ground and laughed as he curled
into a fetal position.
"i will always be stronger than you, half wit." he sneered and walked off. jaken emerged
from the hole and reported to his master.
"...ha...hahaue...!" inuyasha gasped, crawling towards the hole. he went halfway in, and the
smell of blood hit him. "...no..." he whispered, and went deeper inside to see if she was dead. the
hanyou found his mother bleeding badly, dying slowly. he went to her, draping his smaller body over
hers, but he did not cry.
"...my...son..." fumiko winced, trying to hug him back. "i am...sorry..."
"s'ok, hahaue. it was all my fault. i couldn't protect you."
"...don't worry...inuyasha...now i...can be with...your father..." she said, smiling sadly.
"i guess." inuyasha looked up for a moment, his sad eyes still dry.
"remember...i shall...always...love you..." fumiko replied, sighing her last breath.
"HAHAUE!" inuyasha howled into the sorrowful night.
inuyasha awoke in the middle of the night, almost toppling out of his tree.
"bad memories..." he whispered to himself. five years had since passed since the tragic
death of his mother, and he tried his hardest not to think about it. the last thing he needed was a
weakness like emotions to wear him down. he could not afford that; humans hated him, demons hated
him, and he had never seen another hanyou in this part of japan. the wars between the states were
becoming more and more intense, and he desperately needed to become more powerful. there had to be a
way to become a full youkai...there just had to!
so he had trained for those five years, developing his sankontessou and several other attack
techniques, which consisted mostly of punching and scratching. he taught himself how to survive, and
spent his time in the solitude of his thoughts. now he was remembering the death of his mother.
"why the hell am i remembering a thing like that now?" he mumbled as he jumped down from
the tree to fetch a drink from the nearby stream. once he finished, he returened, and jumped back
onto his branch to sleep once more.
morning soon came, and he was up with the sun hunting his breakfast of fish. he caught three
small fish, which he cleaned and ate raw. he had discovered that his body could handle raw meat of
any kind, which helped on the rainy days he could not find a cave. as soon as he finished his tiny
breakfast, we wandered around the forest, looking for somewhere open enough to train. he came close
to a villiage and noticed a beautiful miko with long raven hair preforming an exorcism at a nearby
hut. as soon as she finished, she looked in inuyasha's direction and walked away.
"that lady kikyou sure is powerful." a villiager said, noticing the changed behavior of the
patient that had recieved the exorcism. others in the crowd began to speak also, and inuyasha heard
something very interesting.
"i hear she's got the shikon no tama!" one man exclaimed to an older man.
"really? they say that jewel can grant your heart's desire." the old man replied. the other
man nodded in agreement. inuyasha snuck back into the woods and jumped into a tree. all he needed
was that shikon thing and he would be a full demon...but it was apparently guarded by that miko.
aw, hell, how hard could it be to get it? she was only human after all.
three years passed and no matter how hard he tried, inuyasha could not swipe the jewel from
the holy shrine. kikyou knew him quite well by now, and had even told him he was a waste of arrows.
he could not, for the life of him, figure out why she didn't just kill him and get it over with. he
was stubbourn, though. he never gave up. he followed kikyou everywhere, hoping to get a chance at
taking the jewel from her. he even saw her bathing once. even if she was still wearing a yukata, he
could see how it hugged her form and that made him feel strange...his face would become hot and he
wanted to do something to her he didn't understand.
he knew she knew he was there. one afternoon, he hid behind a bush and watched as she sat on
the ground, apparently deep in thought.
"i know you're there, inuyasha. come sit by me." she said suddenly, catching inuyasha by
surprise. he scowled at her, and came out from behind the bush. he sat about three feet from her,
his scowl deepening.
"never have we stood so close"
"and your point is...?" inuyasha frowned, keeping his distance.
"do think i'm human, inuyasha"
"what the hell kinda garbage are you spewing now?" he growled.
"i cannot show any weakness whatsoever. i am human, but i cannot be human..." she looked
at him. "you and i are alike in that we both fight against our humanity. that is why i cannot kill
you..."
"keh." inuyasha stood angrily. "what makes you think i care about your whining? i'm not like
you."
"no, i suppose not." she replied, looking at him sadly. inuyasha saw his mother's painfully
sorrowful expression in her face...he didn't want to make her cry..."inuyasha"
"if we're so alike, does that mean you think me a human?" he sat back down.
"well, you are...half of you that is." she answered. "if the shikon no tama falls into a
demon's grasp, it becomes tainted with the greed for more power. it will not stop..." she paused,
sighing. "but perhaps...if you, a hanyou, uses it to become a human, it may very well be purified,
making is vanish forever."
"and what would happen to you, kikyou?" inuyasha asked, looking at her from the corner of
his eye.
"my duty is to keep the jewel from demons and to purify it. once it is purified, i can once
more be a normal human girl." she sighed wistfully.
"if you want, i could do that...i could be a human and live with you until we die." inuyasha
whispered. he didn't know why he was saying this, but the pain in her eyes made him want to do
whatever was necessary to make her happy. he wanted nothing more than to allow her her desires of
being a regular woman, living her life in quiet and solitude without demons trying to kill her
constantly.
"inuyasha...?" kikyou looked at him, wonder lighting her eyes. "you would...live with me?"
"yeah, if we're so alike, why not?" he shrugged. he walked over to the river where there was
a small dock with a raft tied to it. "you should be getting home, kikyou." he called to her, picking
up the paddle of the raft and waiting for her to follow him. he helped her onto the raft and they
rode downstream closer to the villiage in companionable silence.
inuyasha tied the raft to the dock there and helped kikyou up from her sitting position. she
stumbled slightly as she stepped into the dock, and inuyasha reflexively dropped the paddle and
caught her in a tight embrace.
"kikyou, i'll be human. for you." he whispered as he held her to his body. she gasped and
hugged back.
"i will bring the jewel with me to the meadow where we spoke earlier. be there."
"ok."
however that did not come to pass...
"DIE, INUYASHA!" kikyou screamed, readying an arrow. she shot three, but he managed to
dodge them and flee towards the villiage.
"that witch, she tricked me! i shouldn't have let my guard down!" he fumed as he headed to
the shrine to steal the jewel. he broke in through the roof, and saw it hanging there, seemingly
just waiting to be plucked from its stand. he strode up to it, using his sleeve to filter out the
fumes of the inscence that burned to ward away youkai. he swiped it, and jumped from the building
as the humans tried to attack. he jumped swiftly away, heading into the forest.
"now that i have this, i'll be a full youkai at last!" he muttered as he jumped near a
large tree.
"DIE!" was the word that made him hesitate long enough to feel the searing pain of an
arrow pierce his chest right above his heart. the jewel was thrown from his hand as he flew backward
into the tree. the arrow managed to run completely through his body and pin him to the tree behind
him.
"kikyou..." he groaned as his eyes drifted closed.
"sister...you're wounded!" was the last thing he heard before his conciousness faded
rapidly into the deep slumber meant to bind him for eternity.
THE END
1 i don't know, maybe i am crazy, but in the manga vers. of IY i notice that inuyasha's nose is always a black dot. like a dog nose. if you don't believe me, compare his nose to kagome's. do you see what i see? that's just what i think takahashi was going for...
WOW! I ACTUALLY FINISHED A FIC! AND IT WASN'T A LEMON! w00t! please review...
...no flames please...