20 Perks of Being Me
By Q
This is a list of the top 20 perquisites of being moi. I would have listed all of them for you but I suppose that you have other obligations for the next 3,000,000,000,000,000,000 years. Oh well…
20. Having so many perks. – What could be wrong with that?
19. Being immune to pain and other unwanted physical sensations. – That is something I'll leave for the pathetic unimaginative mortals.
18. Knowing everything. – Yes, I know every fact there is to know of the past, present, future and beyond.
17. Being able to control the multiverse. – It's so much fun to warp reality and scar the lesser beings for life.
16. Being immortal. – No comment.
15. Not dying. – Wait! That is the same thing as being immortal.
14. Not having to eat. – Eating is a tediously boring waste of time.
13. Not having to bathe. – Hygiene is also a tediously boring waste of time.
12. Being all powerful. – There is nothing I can say here that won't offend you. Not that that's ever mattered before.
11. Having a vastly immense vocabulary. – This goes along with knowing everything.
10. Having an IQ of 2,005. – Actually, my IQ is much higher than that, but this is the only way that you could comprehend it.
9. Getting to mock lower life-forms with there mortality. – It's so much fun toying with their puny little minds.
8. Getting to take Picard and his crew on adventures in an imaginary world. – Refer to number 9.
7. Having no definite body. – I can be a Klingon or a Beta-Zoid flea or a ferret or an android, not that I'd want to be any of those things.
6. Not having to sleep. – When I was banished from The Q Continuum falling asleep was the most horrifying experience of my life.
5. Getting to show lesser beings the error of their ways. – A personal favorite of mine.
4. Getting to do WHAT EVER THE HELL I WANT! – Yay me! -Claps girlishly-
3. Getting to have a valid reason for calling Picard Mon Capitan. – Not everyone gets to do THAT!
2. Getting to torment Picard until he brakes down in tears. – O.K, so I've never actually done this, but I plan to in the near future… or at least my version of the near future.
And finally, the most entertaining, exiting, absolutely incomprehensively wonderful etc. perk of all is …
1. Unlimited supply of funny hats and costumes. – Costumes make everything much more dramatic.
The End
This fan fiction was a joint effort written by APickleNamedFrizz61892525 and sarahbuggs.
Disclaimer: We don't own a thing! God damn it!