Girl Next Door, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: OMG I wish I owned Twilight. :(

Disclaimer 2: Oh, and guess what? I don't own 'Girl Next Door' by Saving Jane either.

I intended for this to actually be a two-shot, but it didn't work out like that, it just wasn't long enough. The first half are Bella's thoughts on Rosalie, and the second half are Rosalie's thoughts on Bella. I really like this song, so i decided to try a song fiction on jealousy. and who better than bella and rosalie?

i have always thought Rosalie was misunderstood, and i liked writing her thoughts. i think she's actually quite intelligent -- she's one of the only ones who doesn't want immmortality, and i think that's interesting. also, i have never written a fanfic about rosalie, so i like doing this one.

some lyrics don't fit, because this is a song about jealousy at HIGH SCHOOL. this story is about their lives, and much more important things than prom and cheerleading.

Please review!!

Girl Next Door

BPOV

I didn't hate her. Maybe I should have.

It was obvious enough that she hated me. Wasn't the normal reaction to hate her back? Wasn't I supposed to?

But she was still part of Edward's life, part of my life. Part of my future family. I hoped.

It would probably be worse if and when I was part of her family. She resented my choice. Of course she did. She resented me.

I didn't understand her hatred of me. I hadn't done anything to her. Edward said it was just because she didn't like people on the outside knowing our secret, but didn't she get that I'd never tell? Didn't she know how much they all meant to me?

Small town homecoming queen
She's the star in this scene
There's no way to deny she's lovely
Perfect skin, perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside she's ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

Okay, so maybe I did hate her – just a little. It was fear more than anything. She was beautiful, captivating, lethal.

But she had everything I wanted! The family I had always dreamed of. Mother, father, children. Not parents who lived across the country from one another, a father replacement, and no siblings to share this with. I had never had a niche – but maybe if I had had a sister, there would have been a difference. But even if I were to become a Cullen, I knew she would never accept me as her sister.

She was perfect. I had known that the first day I saw her. I had just never imagined it would ever affect me.

She was beautiful. Blonde, tall, golden eyed, graceful, poised, perfect. She would think differently, perhaps, and maybe the others who knew her secret as well. Maybe she wasn't perfect in immortal eyes. But she was to my human ones.

She had her soul mate, too. She had had him for a long time, and would forever. Because she had forever. They had no boundaries. There was no fear of death. She had love, family, and perfection. She had a perfect life.

Of course, that perception had changed a little, when she told me her story. It had been a miserable end to her human life. It wasn't a sacrifice, for an all-consuming love, like me. It had never been her choice. And though I knew she hated me for this choice that I was making – throwing away everything that meant anything to her, throwing away my mortality, I could hate her right back for that. Because I knew that she would eagerly throw away this life – immortality, the Cullens, Emmett, the life I was hoping for. She would do the same thing I would. She would pick the opposite.

And, of course, knowing she had wanted Edward to want her didn't help my conscious, either.

Because she was almost as perfect as him. And it hurt to know that they would fit together, even though she loved Emmett completely.

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

It just seemed like she had everything I wanted. The life I would choose if I could. And though I knew she hated it, I couldn't see why.

She had tried to change my mind. I knew why, I knew it would be her choice. But she had grown up in a different time, had wanted different things. She had wanted beauty and a sweet husband. I wanted Edward. I wanted this life that she had. I wished I were her.

It just seemed unfair. They all hated this life, this endless existence. They did their best with the situation, but they all wished for mortality, humanity, even just a little bit. But I was more than willing to be rid of humanity. I wanted Edward, I wanted this life. I'd made my choice.

I had told Edward on the way back from Port Angeles a long time ago, soon before I had realized I loved him, that it was too late. It had been then, and it definitely was now. I wanted this.

So I didn't really hate her. But I hated her resenting this decision. Of course I knew it was a monumental commitment. But I wanted Edward, forever, and the other Cullens. Even her.

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never too harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

I was jealous of her. Who wasn't? But everyone else envied her beauty. I envied her because she literally had everything.

Her story didn't have a happy ending? Yeah, right.

She had Emmett. She had Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Edward. She had immortality. She had forever.

And I wasn't even preoccupied with forever! I didn't care about that. What I wanted was Edward, for infinity. Why couldn't she get my choice? I knew what I wanted.

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh and I'm just the girl next door

I wondered if she had actually had the choice, if she would choose humanity. I wondered if she was brave enough to take that shot. If she would risk everything. Her happiness.

But was she happy? Did any of this mean anything to her?

It meant something to me.

I respected her choice. I understood. But I didn't want humanity. I wanted her life, and she wanted mine. Ironic?

Maybe I was supposed to stay on the outside. Maybe I really was meant to be the girl next door, aware of their hidden, perfect lives, and not be a part of them. I could watch, but never join. I could watch them in their never changing perfection, but I would never have that immortal rank. She would want that.

But she couldn't control my decision, just like I couldn't control her hatred and jealousy.

I don't know why I'm feeling sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishing that I was someone else

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
I get a little bit, she gets a little more
She's Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

I wasn't sorry for myself. I had Edward, and the hope of a future with him.

I just wished that she would be like the others. I just wished she could want this for me, too.

RPOV

I should have been nicer. Even I knew that.

I wasn't supposed to hate her. And I didn't – not exactly.

But I definitely didn't like her.

It wasn't as noble as Edward told her. No, it wasn't just someone on the outside knowing the truth. It was the fact that it was her knowing.

Yeah, I knew it was wrong. And mean.

But she had everything! She was pretty enough for him, when he couldn't find anyone beautiful in the past century! She had a life! She had friends and family and hope. Dreams.

She was human.

Wasn't that reason enough to be jealous, to hate her? My humanity, so sacred and

precious, had been stolen from me. I regretted that. And here she was, not listening, not hearing, and throwing her humanity away like yesterday's newspaper.

As though it was that unimportant. As though being human – being alive – didn't really matter.

Was she insane or just stupid?

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

She had the life I wanted, desperately.

She was pretty, I guessed. She had soft, pale ivory skin, and deep warm brown eyes. She had mahogany brown hair that fell to her waist. She was different. Separate from the rest of the humans.

After all, what humans wanted to be with vampires?

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

They all adored her. Welcomed her to the family as if she was already our own.

I understood that Edward loved her, but did the rest of them have to too?

I guessed that really, there was nothing hugely wrong with her. She was kind, quiet, intelligent. I could, if I tried hard enough, see why Edward wanted her.

But did she have to be human?

No, that wasn't how it sounded. I meant, she was lucky to be human. Did she have to hit my life like a wrecking ball? Remind of the decision I'd never made in order to be here, immortal?

And why, oh why, did she feel the need to change her status as a human? Was it not good enough for her?

She had parents, friends, and a life she shouldn't give up. But she would, because she would rather be a monster. Smart girl.

I would do anything to have that choice, to be able to refuse this life. I loved Emmett and the others, but even if I had to live on streets for my entire life, I would rather be human.

The ending of my humanity had been cruel and abrupt. I had had no choice in the matter, and although sometimes I was thankful I had lived, sometimes I would have preferred death.

Even Edward didn't approve of her decision. He thought her humanity was too precious to risk as well, and she wouldn't even listen to him. So how I expected her to listen to me, I don't know.

She didn't know how boring the night became. She didn't know how difficult it was to abstain from blood. She didn't know how it was to be a nightmare.

No one asked for their humanity to be stolen from them. We did our best – we were moral and just, but we were still monsters. We were in horror movies. We were horrors.

So it was absolutely normal to not want this. The others enjoyed it sometimes, and I could admit there were some okay parts – the speed and the beauty – but I hated it.

I hated constantly moving. I hated constantly lying.

Did she know what that was like?

She was blinded by the idea of eternity. She didn't know or comprehend how long eternity really was.

Edward loved her though, so he would let her ruin her life. He wasn't pleased about it, but it would happen.

I found it funny that the only other person (if we counted as people) that didn't want the change was the one that loved her the most.

I don't know why I'm feeling sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishing that I was someone else

It was stupid, and I knew that. My life was my life, or at least my existence was my existence. But sometimes I wished so desperately that I was somebody else.

Somebody human.

Somebody like her.