Friendship was a bit like romance, Dan reckoned.
It was built on the same basic concepts; two people care enough about each other to hang out, get each other presents, and comfort each other when they're sad, laugh about the stupidest things. Dan would even go as far as to say that perhaps friendship is really just romance to a lesser degree. So, it was only natural in Dan's mind that he'd fall in love with his best friend.
Really, who wouldn't? Phil Lester was the epitome of beauty, with his tantalizingly electric blue eyes, pitch black hair, and smile that resembled not the sun, but lightning with the way it zapped Dan's heart. It wasn't just looks though; Phil seemed to know Dan more than anyone ever should, and was so sweet and caring to him. Phil carried full control over Dan's heart, and it shocked Dan every day that in Phil's care, it remained unbroken and filled to the brim with liquid happiness that surged through Dan's veins.
Not that Phil knew, of course. As far as Dan was concerned, one-sided love wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was quite enjoyable to have, even a bit thrilling with Dan's constant attempts to hide said love. It wasn't just that Dan wanted to fuck the brains out of Phil (which he did, of course—seriously, who the hell wouldn't?), but that he just wanted Phil to be happy, and himself to be happy. Living together and seeing each other every day was the closest Dan came to being completely happy without having Phil as a lover, and Dan was completely okay with it all.
Dan did wonder sometimes, though. When Phil looked over to him, mid-laugh, Dan sometimes thought he'd caught a glimpse of something in Phil's eyes, hidden way down inside. It looked a bit like love. And sometimes, when Phil would claim he was cold, and Dan would wrap his coat around Phil's shoulders, he'd think that he'd see a little bit of sadness slip into Phil's expression when Dan took his hands away. Sometimes Dan wondered if they were friends at all. Sometimes he'd think that he was already with Phil—but neither of them knew it yet.
And in those moments, Dan would see a perfect utopia for him and Phil, one filled with cuddles and whispered proclamations of love at night, and kisses on the beach, and handholds and nights spent watching movies with Dan's head in Phil's lap. And Dan would wonder if it were possible. If maybe he could have all that with the one person he'd always known he'd loved.
But to risk their friendship for a tiny maybe didn't seem worth it. And Dan was more than happy with sidelong glances and too-long hugs, if it meant he could keep Phil.
For now.