Lead Us Not Into Temptation
Alternate title for song-fic version: (posted in profile, not on this website) She Dreams
Summary: AU for 'Sleight of Hand' 1x10. What really happened in the conjugal room. Nika wants Michael to need her. Michael is caught up in his false marriage. She's tempted not to do it, to hold out on Michael, to make him need her but she knows she'll give in. Because she's a little afraid of Michael, knowing what he can do. She's a little afraid for Michael, knowing what he is getting into. It's the tip of an iceberg. And because she cares for him, loves him. Maybe. Nika/Michael, Michael/Sara.
Author's Note: Italics are Nika's thoughts. Spoilers for Season 1, hints at Season 2. Not sure if this website allows songfics anymore so the alt version is in the profile webpage. I like both versions anyway. Some swearing, some sexuality (not too graphic). Possibly a bit dark.
"Hello?" Nika says into the phone. Before he can say "It's me" she already knows its Michael. She knows she doesn't have to do the 'sexy babe' voice act. Or should she? Or maybe it's another mask she has to put on. She distracts herself by snagging the lipstick on her table and putting it on a second time. She's been dreading, hoping that it would be her pseudo-husband. She knows that he's not really her husband but he's the closest thing she's had to one. She's been dressing up everyday for men. She tells herself that it's for her clients but she knows that in her fantasies, she dressing up for Michael. "I know," she says quickly. "I saw your name on the caller ID."
She loves and hates that he jumps straight to business. All he tells her is what to do and that "it's time." If he was going to make her pretend to be his wife, couldn't he pretend to love her a little bit more? She's tempted not to do it, to hold out on Michael, tomake him need her but she knows she'll give in. Because she's a little afraid of Michael, knowing what he can do. She's a little afraid for Michael, knowing what he is getting into. It's the tip of an iceberg. And because she cares for him, loves him. Maybe.
PBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPB
When she walks into the room, she can't help but smile at Michael. She can't remember all the angry words that she's rehearsed on the way to Fox River. She hopes that she looks like the beautiful wife he's married. Is that why he married me? Michael looks different in prison blues. It doesn't make him look ugly, rather she admires the way the simple clothes bring out the colour of his eyes and enhance his handsome features.
"You came."
Did you think I wouldn't?. "Of course," she smiles back, a little hurt. This was for him, not for her. She pushes down her feelings to focus on him.
"How've you been?" he says. There is a slight inflection of tenderness in his voice and she forgives him for everything there and then. Again.
"Fine."I miss you. "I found a job." She doesn't want to say any more about her work. When he married her, he already knew. There wasn't much point in stating the obvious about her line of work. Nika was surprised it didn't bother him but then again, nothing much seemed to surprise Michael Scofield.
"Good. I'm glad."
She loves his smile. She wants to say something, anything to make him smile like that again. She realises that she desperately wants him to love her. Instead the prison converges on her and suddenly she's aware that they're trapped. "Is it awful being here?" Am I that awful that you can't love me? She can barely apprehend his answer.
When they sit down on the bed, Nika feels the intoxicating presence of Michael. She wants to touch him. She puts her hand on his arm. She wants him. Despite what he said about it being like that hotel, she wants to stay here with him.
He notices the wedding ring that he picked for her on her finger. It's a platinum band. Even though their marriage was for a sham, she finds it somewhat romantic he bought her an expensive wedding ring. "You're still wearing it," he says as if he expected her not to. How could I not?
"Everyday."Can you hear what I'm trying to tell you? Everyday. I still feel you. I wish you that what we have would be as real as we make it to be. "I worry about you."
"Don't." He's abrupt. Nika could almost hear him shutting her out.
"Is there anything else I can do?" She feels helpless. Hopeless.
"Just what we agreed on."
She reaches inside her bra to hand him the credit card. She hopes that he might look at her breasts but he's looking at the credit card. She grabs him and kisses him passionately. At first he's stunned and then he's kissing her back. She closes her eyes, losing herself in the taste of Michael. He smells like soap. His hair is spiky. She melts into him as he runs his hand up her back, to hold her hand...and to grab the plastic card in her hand. She pretends not to notice and continues to kiss him, fingers unbuttoning his cheap cotton shirt. "Take me Michael," she whispers seductively in his ear.
Michael pulls away from her. He's so tempted. He can't be distracted from his mission. "H-here?" He gets out a shocked reply.
"This is what this room is for isn't it?" she teases.
"No. I can't use you like that."
"Is that it?" Nika scoffs indignantly, pushing him down onto the bed. "You already do. If you're going to come up with a pathetic excuse you're going to need one better than that." She wants him so badly. She isn't above guilt-tripping him to get what she wants. She needs him now. He's only got himself to blame for rescuing her like that. "You've taken what you want from me. I want this. Please. Just give me this." Her hands are working his dick as she speaks.
His voice is strained. "I... can't use you like some whore." He tries to resist, but not too hard. It's been a while since he's had any release and Nika's hands are gently coaxing his semi-erect penis. He had never been too picky. A hand is a hand. A mouth is a mouth. At the last word she grabs his balls firmly.
"Don't play that line, Michael. I am one and you know it." Suddenly, she knows. She understands. In a low voice she says, "Make me feel like I was her."
He's stunned. He doesn't know how she knows about Sara. He pries her soft, wonderful hands off him and sits up. "Nika," he reasons, his voice feeling strangely tight. "There's plenty out there. Plenty of good guys that are not in prison. Find someone who will love you. This..." he gestures to the prison conjugal room. "This is no place to find love." He wonders if he'll take his own advice. He instantly feels bad after saying it, knowing that it's exactly what he's hoping for. Just not with her.
"They're not you!" Nika burns with anger. She feels the shock of her own confession rock her and she can't hold back the tears that start running down her face. She can't be here anymore, trapped in the drab room. No matter how much they try to decorate the room, the walls remain the same. She stands up to leave.
Michael needs her for the plan. For what they agreed on. He needs her as a contact in case things go wrong. He can't fail. He knows that it is an entirely selfish plan but he cannot fail. Against all warnings in his head, he grabs her by the wrist, spinning her around to meet him and puts his lips on hers. If it means that he has to give Nika her fairytale then so be it. He'll pretend it's his fairytale and that she is the woman of his dreams. She's still crying, her mascara running so he wipes away her tears planting featherlight kisses on her cheeks. "I'm sorry," he rasps. He's apologising for giving her this only to know that it's not real. That it will be taken away. It was cruel to be kind. Michael wants to say no but he's doesn't want to at the same time. He loves Sara. He really does but he has to save Linc. There was no question. This had to be another sacrifice. So Michael places Nika's perfectly manicured hands on his shirt and lets her undress him.
Nika undresses him slowly so she can remember this. She isn't stupid. She knows that there probably won't be another time so she has to make it last. She touches his face, her eyes soaking in the angles of his jaw line, the archs of his eyebrows - trying desperately to etch his features into her memory. Nika wanted to give him her body so that he wouldn't forget. That he might come back to her if only for sex. She knows she's good at it. It works for all the other men. She didn't think it were possible having been with so much men, that she'd get attached. But she knows she would never be able to forget now. Somehow, Michael even with his fake marriage, had hit all the right spots with her. A part of her wants to wants to kill him because he's killing her. She puts her hands around his neck, feeling his pulse throbbing with life under her fingertips. It was possible. She could do it. One look into his eyes makes her feel ashamed of even thinking of the idea of betraying that trust. She hides her emotions, smothering the momentary tension between them with a kiss. She'd take a pity fuck from Michael Scofield if it meant that she could pretend just for that moment that someone loved her that much. Having been a refugee, having had to sleep around to make ends meet, Nika is no stranger to taking what you can get. She finds it ironic that the act is so much more real than anything she's ever done. It's not false to her at all. Michael's fooled her, her and her foolish heart. She wants the act. She lives in the illusion, the lie that soothes the hurt. That he is hers.She has given her heart to him. She's not a virgin by no means but it's the first time she's made love. That wasn't something you could fake.
When he comes, he bites back Sara's name. He sees the needy and vulnerable look in her eyes and so he says what she wants to hear. Closing his eyes, he thinks of Sara. "I love you". He knew it was the right thing to say.
She can see that his eyes are closed. He's mouthing some bitch's name. Nika hates her, whoever she is. Just because she wishes that she could be The One. For once. Nika isn't out to ruin Michael's happiness and her. Nika doesn't feel bad for borrowing Michael because she just knows...knows that whoever she is that Michael loves, she will forgive him.Nika closes her eyes too and forgives him. It's up to her imagination to fill in the gaps. To give life to her happy ending.
"Say it again," she urges. When she hears it again, she believes. She didn't have to let go of him. Michael loves her. Loves her back.