In absence of you
By: Anna Hibiki
Rating: NC-13.
Disclaimers : Weiss is not mine! It belongs to Koyasu-sama and other people with much more money than me. The song 'En ausencia de ti' (Translated in here as 'In Your Absence') belongs to an italian singer called Laura Pausini.
Warnings : Shounen-ai, angst, deathfic, poorly translated song and little OOCness for Omi. If you don't like that, then you can go to read my other WK fics "...Lies Bleeding in my arms" and "KenKen", or "Don't Cry" (KenKen is published only in : REWRITTE of the fic!
In Your Absence
Without you I'm naked like a tree
My roots are doomed to dry.
Abandoned, like this,
I really need you in here.
There's nothing that doesn't remind me of you
In this house, where it is so dark.
The snow's falling and the winter
Will be sadder when Christmas comes..
One step, two steps, three... okay stop a moment.
I said stop! Thank you feet. I need to stop. I forgot... I forgot to bring him flowers! I have to go back to the shop and get him some…
Really Omitchi, just shut up and take a deep breath. Or perhaps you should take two. I'm calm again. Now I'm going to go to the flower shop and bring him the flowers.
Sorry Nagi, I was so scared that I didn't even think about that...
I'm so sorry... First I let you die and now I go and forget something as simple as getting you some flowers...
Why do I have to cry again? My tears won't make you live again, they're never going to bring you back.
Looks like I'm not the only one who came to see you...
There are red broken petals all over your grave. I'm sure they're from Farfello. Even that psycho remembered...
But I didn't.
I'm so sorry... Please forgive me Nagi! Forgive me! Come back!
Don't you see what I have became? Haven't you seen me suffer enough? Can't you see I can't live without you? That I can't breathe anymore? That I can't feel anything but your absence?
And I miss you, love
It like when I try to find God in an emptiness
In your absence
I'd like to tell you that,
I miss you, my love
the pain is strong and like a challenge,
in your absence
I don't know how to live.
So I'm finally in here, kneeling in front of your grave. My eyes hurt from all the burning tears I've cried for you. Was that what you wanted? I know you didn't. I know... but I can't stop blaming myself.
It's so cold here... the snow won't stop falling, tainting the grey of your grave into a wet white.
I should have told them to stop. I should have stopped Youji-kun when he wrapped the wire around your neck.
But I didn't. Couldn't. Didn't have the right. He... he did to me what you did to him.
Why did you have to kill Ken-kun?
If you hadn't, you'd be alive now, with me.
And we would have the future we had planned during too few nights.
Someday our days would be pure bliss, as they were before when we weren't on 'missions' that did nothing but tighten the wire of our existences. You would come here some nights when nobody would notice it and we would make love to end up kissing and entangled impossibly until next morning came, or just stay somewhere alone, together in the intimacy of our innocence and love.
Because your soul is what will remain of you
and your voice will sound again
I close my eyes and I feel you
in my arms again.
And I see the two of us again
one in the other only one heart,
in each one of my tears you will be,
I won't forget you, never
Endless years have passed since you died and I only know that each one it's harder for me to put together some courage to come here, because I realise how alone I am. The loneliness that awaits for me in the future.
Pain is killing me. And guilt. I feel so guilty... And I'm not the only one blaming me.
Yes, you sure guessed it. You were always so intelligent...
They also blame me. Weiss. Aya-kun doesn't care, but Youji-kun.. he hasn't spoken to me since that day. And I understand him. Sometimes I'm convinced that I should kill myself to free myself and others from this pain. I've tried so many times... but there's always someone who doesn't want me to die, that wants to prolong my suffering for longer because I haven't paid enough for my sins.
Can I go with you? Don't deny me this, please. Tell me I can die and go wherever you are now.
I need you Nagi! I don't know what's waiting for me out there, if there's hell or a heaven. If there's a god or a demon. If we'll ever be together again or simply if there is just nothing.
I don't want to know.
I just want to go with you. Whatever happens, I don't care.
Please...
I miss you, my love
the pain is strong and like a challenge,
I want to go with you, to have you with me, because
I miss you love, I die a little more everyday and feel so cold,
In your absence, I won't
want to live...
.:OWARI:.
This was the first WK fic I ever finished!
I've done a huge editing on it, to the point it can be considered a rewrite.
I wonder if anyone remembers me… don't think so, I've been away from here for too long, but I'm trying to come back slowly.
Any thoughts on this? I'll be glad to read anything you wanna tell me!