I do not own TYR

.

.

.

Lou

My name is Louise McCloud. I have somehow made it to nineteen, but I feel like I have already lived my nineteen years twice over.

My mother died when I was ten. She made me promise to not let Teresa and Jeremiah know about our father. He wasn't a good man by any standards, and she died protecting us. She had changed our last name, and we moved a lot. I promised her I would keep the secret, I never knew why she was so scared of him, until later in life, but her fear of him was enough for me to respect her wishes.

She died leaving me alone with my brother and sister, at the age of ten, and with my father a notorious gun runner, gone, we were shipped to an orphanage.

Luckily for Jeremiah and Teresa, they weren't in the place for long, and although I saw things differently back then, I now know that it was the best thing to have had happened.

Of course no one wanted a ten going on eleven year old girl, I was past the cute stage, and not hardy enough to be a boy. The ones that did want me wanted me for housekeeping or worse.

And maybe that would have been a better place than where I have ended up now. But I would have never experienced family, friends and love on the way.

Unfortunately when I was thirteen, my father, Boggs, decided it was the right time for him to claim his children back, but much to his dismay when he arrived at the orphanage, it was only I that stood before him.

The Nunn's weren't sure if they were doing the right thing, when they handed me over to the man who claimed to be my father, but they did so anyway.

The Nunn's swore to Boggs that my brother and sister had been killed, along with the family that adopted them. It was the first time I had ever heard that, and to this day I don't know if it is true, but I like to think that they saw it fit to lie just this once, as they saw the devil dancing on Boggs's shoulder like I did.

I was taken to his compound and was soon given my rules and chores. The place was like a prison and I hated everyday that I spent there. But I took the opportunity that was given to me and I learnt.

I learnt to ride and shoot just as good, if not better than any of my father's men. Of course when I was caught learning, instead doing my chores, I was chained up like the other men, and I was whipped.

It was my Father's way of discipline, but just like the men, that I had seen go through the same thing, I bit my lip and I breathed through every strike.

I would not scream for the man who called himself my father.

When I turned sixteen I had a plan to leave. I was leaving this hell hole. I had a gun, I didn't have a horse and I had no money but I did not care. I knew that if I stayed here I would die. I wanted to die on my own terms, not by my fathers.

I snuck out in the dead of the night and I ran. I ran like I hadn't run before.

I felt as free as the eagle, as tears fell from my eyes.

All the pent up pain I had endured these past years I spent with my father, I let it all out and I let it all go. I vowed to not think of him from here on out. No longer will these eyes shed another tear because of him.

I hoped that I could make it to a town, before Boggs's men noticed I was gone, and came looking for me.

And I did.

Three days and two nights later I made it to the town of Syracuse. I was hungry, tired and cold. But I would not ask these town folks for anything. I would never be able to live with myself if anything happened to another soul, because Boggs wanted questions. If no one saw me, or knew me it would be safer in the long run.

So I hid in the shadows until it was dark. A ranch that I was keeping my eyes on soon had its lamps turned down. It was pitch black out, so I tiptoed my way to their barn. On the way I passed the vegetable garden. I pulled a couple of carrots and picked a few peapods. I made my way inside the barn and snuggled deep inside the hay.

The rooster woke me at dawn, and I wasted no time to start moving again.

I did some things I aint' proud of, even to this day, while I was on the run, but I did what I needed to, to survive. I needed a horse and I needed food, so I did what I had to, to make the money.

Five months later, Sweetwater was where I found myself. My long hair now cut short, my clothes, just like any other man. My eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses, I did not need, and under a hat with a wide brim. My breasts bandaged up so my chest looked flat.

I stood in front of the postmaster house, Lou McCloud, and from that day on my secret remained intact until a year later.

When my secret was discovered the friendships, the family and the love went with it. I was now alone, in an environment that I still did not understand. Boggs was ruthless, but these people were savages. I was treated like a dog, nothing more and nothing less.

I was once Lou McCloud pony express rider, the quiet one out of the group, the little one of the group. The boys thought I was one of them, and I loved being one of them. They knew me as no different and I gave them no cause to question it. I could ride just as well if not better than any of them. I could shoot just as good, and possibly straighter than them.

Until that day, the day where my cover was blown and I was taken.

.

.

Buck and I were on a special delivery run. Teaspoon wanted two guns on this one, and Buck and I drew the short straws. Our ride to Willow Springs went without hitch, and even the start of our trip home was great. It was times when I would spend time, with any of the boys alone, that I found the hardest for me not to blurt out my secret.

Buck was a half blood, part Kiowa, to any other eye that saw him.

But to me he was my friend, my brother, one I would die for.

The Indians were continuously fighting among themselves, and anyone else that crossed their paths. Unfortunately for me and Buck, that is exactly what we were doing that day.

"Ride fast Lou, we are in a whole heap of trouble," Buck called out. Now it wasn't what he said, it was how he said it. I had never heard that kind of fear in Bucks voice for the year I have known him.

I looked behind me to see we were being chased by Indians, and obviously not the good kind otherwise Buck wouldn't be running.

All the running we were doing didn't pay off, as we had another few Indians come for us from the side. They closed in on us, and we were forced to come to a halt.

They were talking so fast, that I couldn't make anything out of what they were saying. Some words English and some in their native tongue. I picked up on the word 'half blood,' and 'Kiowa,' but that was it.

One of the Indians spat on Buck, and I wanted to cry. He did not deserve that. They kept tormenting him, and I screamed for them to stop. But no one listened.

Buck was pulled off of his horse, before I was pulled off of mine. I struggled in the arms of the one who held me, praying he wouldn't find out I was a girl.

I watched in horror as an arrow went through Buck's leg, and a man stood over him with his hair in one hand, and a knife in the other. Oh god they were going to scalp him.

"NO,NO, please he's my brother," I cried hoping that they wouldn't kill him.

But I watched as the knife went to Bucks forehead,

"NO, NO please Kill me, don't kill him, please kill me," I begged. The one who held me, loosened his hold, I think in shock of my outburst.

I ran to Buck and crouched over him, "Lou what are you doing?" Buck asked wincing in pain.

"Please don't kill him," I cried, hating seeing Buck in such pain.

"You woman?" How did they know that? I didn't have time to think about it. If it would help Buck's situation then I would tell my secret.

"Yes I'm a woman, please don't kill him," I begged.

"Lou?" Buck questioned, but I didn't have time to answer him. I hated that he was finding out this way.

"Stand," The Indian told me. I stood but stayed standing over Buck. If they wanted him they would have to go through me first.

"Show,"

"What?" I asked confused.

"Show women," Oh.

I didn't think twice as I unbuttoned my shirt, to show these men my bindings. I unravelled the bandages, dropping them to the ground, to expose my breasts.

I quickly pulled my shirt closed when one of the men's hands reached out to touch me.

"Don't you touch her," Buck yelled in agony. The Indian that went to grab me, started kicking at Buck.

"Please don't hurt him," I asked again.

"Husband?" They questioned,

"No brother," I told him honestly,

"You protect a half blood?"

"He's not that to me. He's just my brother. Please he is hurt, please let him go."

They started to talk among themselves. I wanted to talk to Buck, butwas scared that if I turned my back that they would try something.

"No husband?" they clarified. I shook my head no. I really didn't think they would care if I had one or not. Or maybe they were trying to see if I was tied to Buck in that way.

"You come with us, your brother lives,"

"Yes," I didn't need to think about it. I would die for any of one of the boys.

"Lou, no," Buck cried in pain behind me.

I turned to see he was losing a lot of blood.

"I'm sorry I lied to you all, but please know I had my reasons."

"Lou if you go with them do you know what will happen to you? I promise you will want to die."

"Then I will. Don't worry about me. Go and take care of the boys and Emma. Tell them I love them, and I thought of them as family. I would make the same decision for all of you."

I was grabbed from behind, and placed a top of a horse with a rider behind me.

"Lou, no," Buck cried out again.

"Bye," was all I said when the horse I was on galloped away from Buck. The cries from the Indian soldiers out wailed my own.

I tried to look behind me, to make sure Buck was moving and that the tribe that had me held up their end of the deal.

I prayed that he would be alright. That he would make it back to Sweetwater and to a doctor.

What I didn't know, is that I would see him three years later.