Unapologize
Eddie has the day off tomorrow and she's on her second bottle of wine.
She hadn't had a bad day, or week, or anything to warrant needing a drink, but sometimes a girl just wants a glass – or six – of really good wine and to lounge around her living room listening to old mixed CDs.
She doesn't expect her apartment to be buzzed even though she should.
She quickly sets down her glass and goes to her intercom.
"Who is it?" She asks, her voice breathy so the intruder can't hear her slight slur.
"Eddie, it's me," Jamie says from downstairs, take out bag in hand.
"Jamie?"
"Yeah, we made plans to watch the game, remember? I brought Italian."
Eddie has completely forgotten the plans they'd made earlier that day and now she's freaking out a little.
She buzzes her partner in and runs into her room to put leggings on, replacing the holey sweats she's currently wearing.
Pants on, she swipes the numerous papers and empty wine bottle off her coffee table and stashes them in the cabinet under her TV.
Eddie turns off the music and is running her fingers through her hair when Jamie finally knocks on her door. She unlocks it quickly.
Jamie notices her flushed face first and then that she looks slightly nervous.
"Hey! Thanks for bringing dinner, come in." She grabs the takeout bag from him. "This smells amazing."
They go stand at her island while she gets plates and silverware, she never meets Jamie's eyes. It's not that he hasn't seen her buzzed before, he definitely has, but Eddie's wine drunk is a lot more upbeat, a lot more open, and a lot more flirty; there's a reason she never drinks wine in front of him.
Jamie knows almost instantly that she isn't completely sober, the red face and half full wine glass on the coffee table alert him, but he doesn't understand why she won't look at him.
He takes the plate she hands to him – both entrees split evenly among them – and goes to sit on her couch. Eddie does the same but she sits farther away from him than she normally would.
"Do you want anything to drink?" She asks, almost as an afterthought.
"Whatever wine you're drinking sounds good," he replies, just to see her reaction.
She looks at him for the first time that night and sees a glimmer in his eyes. "You can actually have the rest of this; I think I'm done for the night." She hands him her glass but he doesn't take it.
"How much have you had tonight?" He's honestly curious.
Eddie stares at her TV, deciding whether to tell him the truth or not. She goes with the truth, "a bottle and a glass."
Jamie's eyebrows rise slightly, "Really?"
"Yes," is all she says in reply.
"So, you're saying I need to catch up."
She looks at him again, not sure if he's joking or not – he's not but she doesn't know that. "You want to drink an entire bottle of wine just to catch up to my drunkenness?" She almost doesn't believe him, but the look on his face is so earnest.
Eddie doesn't wait for his reply; she gets up, opens her fridge and grabs the almost full bottle before getting another wine glass down. She sits down again and pours until the glass is nearly overflowing.
"Drink up then." She says with a saccharine smile on her face, her tone, however, is challenging.
Jamie knows he shouldn't but he takes the glass and downs most of it in one go. Jamie doesn't like to admit it but he actually likes getting wine drunk – it always puts him a good mood – and being wine drunk with Eddie sounds like a fun time.
Eddie doesn't say anything and instead starts eating her portion of carbonara. She takes a small sip from her own wine glass as he finishes his and pours more before starting to eat.
The partners eat in silence – an accomplishment really, because all they want to do is start laughing at the other.
Finally, after finishing his third glass, Jamie turns to Eddie. "Considering how fast I drank all that I'd say we've got to be pretty evenly matched in the drunkenness department. Now, what should we do?"
Eddie laughs before blurting out, "want to watch 'The Little Mermaid?'" She can't stop the words but the wine in her system takes away any embarrassment she would have felt asking sober. It's her go-to movie when she's been drinking.
Jamie doesn't say no, so she finds it, starts it, and goes to sit closer to Jamie on her couch, the football game all but forgotten.
They both watch with rapt attention and when Ariel starts singing 'Part of Your World' Eddie quietly – or she thinks she's quiet – sings along.
"How do you know all the words to that song, how often do you watch this?" Jamie is honestly impressed. He's watched the movie a hundred times with Nikki and couldn't sing anything but the chorus if he tried.
Eddie still isn't embarrassed. "It was one of the first songs I ever learned all the words to actually and, besides, this is the best Disney movie so who cares how many times I've seen it." Eddie takes another drink, Jamie does the same.
"I don't know about that, I always liked 'The Sword in the Stone' and 'Aladdin.'"
Eddie playfully slaps his chest. "Guys always say 'Aladdin' because Jasmine wears a crop top. Good to know you're not a complete Boy Scout, Reagan." Her hand somehow ends up resting on his shoulder, nearly touching his neck.
Eddie thinks she needs to reign herself in a bit but Jamie doesn't seem to mind.
He doesn't, mind that is. Her hand radiates heat throughout his entire body. "That's not why I like it. I like the fact that Aladdin comes from nothing and gains everything, that he uses his new power for good. And, I like Genie. Robin Williams is an American treasure."
Eddie has a huge grin on her face. "I can't fault you there, I literally cried a bit when he died." She drains the last of her wine, the movie still playing in the background.
"Wanna play a game?" She asks.
"What game?"
"How about Jenga?" It's the only game Eddie can even think of that she owns.
Jamie loves Jenga. "Okay, go get it and I'll get out dessert."
Eddie all but sprints to and from her hall closet while Jamie goes to the kitchen and grabs the two huge peanut butter cookies he got at his favorite bodega earlier that night.
The both sit on the floor in front of her coffee table. Eddie, cookie in her mouth, dumps out the wooden tiles on the table and starts piling them up.
Jamie notices a lot of the pieces have writing on them. "Did you get this at Goodwill or something? There's writing on almost every piece." He reaches for one, it says 'prank call someone and tell them you slept with their mom/dad.' Jamie's face scrunches in confusion.
"Sorry, it's a truth or dare set. I won it at a bachelorette party crazily enough. We can just play normal Jenga." Eddie knows what most of the tiles say and she really doesn't want to admit to anything she would normally keep to herself.
Jamie hasn't thought that far ahead.
"No, let's play truth or dare, I haven't played that since college. I'll even go first." Eddie has just finished setting the last tile on top; he gets out a middle piece near the bottom.
"'Yell a secret out the nearest window,'" he reads before walking over to the closest window and opening it to the night. Jamie sticks his head out.
"I work out to Britney Spears music!" He shuts the window as quickly as he opened it and goes back to sit next to his partner. Eddie is laughing hysterically. She has to calm herself for a full minute before she feels steady enough to get a tile out. It's blank. Eddie lets out a quiet breath.
"What do you have to do?" Jamie asks looking over her shoulder. His breath stirs her hair and she shivers slightly.
"It's blank, that means I don't have to do anything," she says smugly.
"Did you know that was a blank piece, Janko? That's cheating you know," he chides her but takes another tile before she can defend herself.
Jamie reads his second piece to himself, then, without notice he sticks his finger in his mouth and then quickly puts it in Eddie's ear.
She jumps and squeals. "What the hell, Reagan. Why did you just give me a wet willy?" She rubs her ear on her shoulder.
Jamie shows her his tile, which told him to do so, and then places it on top of the tower.
"Your turn," he says with a smile.
Eddie picks her tile and reads it silently before grimacing. Jamie is intrigued.
"Give me your foot," she tells her partner. He places his right foot in her lap. Eddie removes his shoe and sock before closing her eyes. Fast as lighting she leans down and kisses the top of his foot. "Eww," she exclaims as she shoves his foot back towards him.
"Who wrote these dares?" He asks with a dazed look on his face.
"I don't know, but they obviously had a foot fetish no one should ever have," she responds as she places the tile on top of the stack.
Jamie takes another piece, making the middle of the tower balance precariously on one tile. Eddie takes notice.
"Jamie, we just started playing! Why are you sabotaging us?" She laughs while speaking, so Jamie doesn't take any offense.
He pulls a blank tile this time and quietly sets it on top. "Your turn."
Eddie, as carefully as she can, pulls out a piece and reads it to herself. She downs the rest of her wine. She reads the tile again, 'Tell the person to your left that you love them,' and closes her eyes. She can't refuse the dare – she doesn't back down from challenges – but she can't say those words to Jamie without fully meaning them and even drunk her knows this one dare would change things between them.
Jamie notices her hesitation. "C'mon, Eddie, it can't be that bad. You already had to kiss my foot, what could be worse than that?" He has a smile on his face as he reaches for the piece in her hands.
She can't stop him from taking it from her or from reading it.
"Maybe truth or dare wasn't the best idea," is all he says in response. Eddie's heart clenches slightly.
"Yeah, you're probably right. We should just call it a night; all this wine means I'll be asleep like the dead in like twenty minutes anyway." Eddie and Jamie stand up, both walking towards her door.
"Thanks for dinner, Reagan, I had a nice night."
"Sure, anytime. Wanna meet tomorrow night for dinner, isn't it ladies night at that wing place you like?" Jamie slips his jacket on while Eddie opens her door.
"Yeah, sounds like fun; I'll text you in the morning. Night."
Jamie steps into the hall but turns back to look at his partner. "Goodnight, Eddie, are…"
Eddie can't stop the words from leaving her mouth. The wine and the dare and the way Jamie looks in her dimly lit hallway have too much of an effect on her.
"I love you," she says.
Jamie doesn't know how to respond, is she being serious or just doing the dare their game gave her. Before he can say anything, though, Eddie continues.
"Just completely my dare, jeez, I'm sorry for freaking you out. I'll see you tomorrow," her voice is a little too light and airy to be truly believable but they both ignore that.
"Yeah, tomorrow. Night," Jamie leaves down the hall, thinking hard about the night's events. He's suddenly glad he has quite the walk home, the night are should help clear his head.
Eddie slowly closers her door before locking it, she then proceeds to her couch where she does an inelegant belly flop onto it.
"What have I done," she groans. She lays there condemning herself for a while but collects herself long enough to turn off her lights, change, and get into her actual bed. Normally, her mind would keep her awake with replays of her evening, but as she predicted earlier to Jamie, she's sound asleep in minutes.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO
Eddie is awoken by her phone ringing the next day. She answers, still groggy with sleep.
"Hello."
"Eddie, its Jamie, are you alright? I've been trying to get a hold of you for a few hours."
"What? What time is it? I said I'd text you, remember,"
"Eddie, its 1:00 pm, are you just waking up? You scared me when I couldn't get a hold of you." Jamie's voice does sound a bit panicked and bit relieved.
Eddie can't believe it's that late already, she checks her phone to make sure and notices the numerous missed calls and texts from her partner. "Oh, my god, Jamie, I'm sorry. I never sleep so late; I must have been drunker last night than I thought I was." And just like that Eddie's words from last night come back to both of them. "Um, you don't need to worry anymore, I'm fine."
She hears Jamie exhale. "Okay, I'm glad you're good. Want to meet outside the bar at six?"
"Yeah, sounds good. I'll see you there." They hang up and Eddie gets up to shower and brush her teeth, she also takes three ibuprofen to soften the tension headache she's rocking.
Eddie's sitting at her kitchen table eating toast with peanut butter when she comes to a conclusion about her life. She gets up, gets dressed, and all but sprints out her door.
She doesn't give herself any more time to think through her plans; she just exists in the moment and hopes it works out.
Twenty minutes later she's knocking on Jamie's door and running her fingers through her hair.
The door opens. "Eddie? I thought we were meeting later, is something wrong?" Jamie's confused but also happy to see her. His smile gives her some encouragement.
"I'm not sorry for what I said last night, it wasn't a joke and it wasn't for that stupid game. I think I've just been holding my feelings in for so long and that dare finally gave me an excuse – albeit and dumb one – to tell you how I fell." Eddie takes a deep breath. "I love you, I'm in love with you and I have been for a long time and I'm going to kiss you in like three seconds so if you don't want that then slam the door in my face please."
She stops talking and stares at his face. She can't read a single emotion on it.
One second goes by, then another, then another. He doesn't slam the door.
Eddie takes a few steps forward before throwing her arms around Jamie's neck and pressing her lips to his.
Jamie wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her a few more steps forward before closing his door and then pushing Eddie up against it.
Her hands are in his hair and his lips are on her collarbone when he pulls away slightly.
Their eyes meet and their breaths mingle.
"I love you, too. I'm sorry for fighting it for so long," Jamie leans his forehead against hers.
Eddie laughs and smiles, "it's okay," is all she says before pulling his mouth back to hers.
*Okay, so I think I have a slight Jamko obsession, but whatever. This was inspired by the song 'Unapologize' by Carrie Underwood and after listening to it a few days ago this just popped into my head. I like to think it's takes place before (or takes the place of) episode 7x08 where Eddie goes to Jamie's and they share a kiss. Hopefully you guys like it, I had fun writing it. Happy reading!