Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other franchises that I pull characters from. Nor do I own any of the franchises that I make references to in this story. I make no money off of this or any of my other fanfiction stories.
xXx A Park in Surrey xXx
xXx About Five Miles away from Privet Drive xXx
In this park, lying on the grass was the prone form of a girl who looked like she could be anywhere from fifteen to twenty-five. It would be hard to pin her age down more closely than that as she had a rather youthful face, and rather small breasts.
Perhaps the oddest feature of this girl was that her hair was a bright pink color, and that this color was her natural hair color.
Suddenly the girl spasmed and sat bolt upright clutching at her chest. "Dear Kami… I could have sworn… Tatsumi? Tatsumi this isn't funny where are you?"
The girl asked that in a panicked voice as she rapidly looked around at her surroundings. It should be noted that as soon as she opened her eyes, had anyone been looking at them, they would have observed that not only was her natural hair color pink, but so was the natural color of her eyes.
It was only upon looking around that she noticed the rather odd looking gun lying on the grass next to her. "The hell? But… that isn't possible… this was destroyed fighting Budo… which should also have… no… no this doesn't make any sense… and… who the hell is Harry Potter and why do I have the sudden overwhelming desire to slaughter the nearest Walrus Colony?"
That was about the time that the girl noticed what she was wearing… "Eh!? What in the high heavens am I wearing? Did I get drunk and raid Leone's wardrobe again?"
The confusion would be understandable if one were to realize that the girl in question prefers to wear frilly ankle length dresses but is currently wearing a stylish blue jeans and a Grateful Dead T-Shirt, an outfit that isn't exactly common where she is from.
Standing up the girl picked up the gun and strapped it over her shoulder before sighing and beginning to walk in what she thought was a random direction, but what was really the direction of Privet Drive.
xXx Privet Drive xXx
xXx A Few Hours Later xXx
It would have taken the weird pinkette far less time to arrive at what was obviously her destination, if she had any idea where she was going in the first place. Despite not really using her physical fitness for all that much, she was still in remarkably good physical condition, and can normally make a trip of five miles in under ten minutes… which might actually be unusual in whatever new world that this happened to be judging by the rather large number of people that she had seen who obviously lived sedentary lifestyles.
But then again, just about all the members of the organization she had been a part of were capable of similar feats of pushing their bodies past the normal human limits. It kind of came with the territory of what they did for a living.
Sighing to herself the girl actually looked at the house she now stood in front of. "God… if I didn't know any better I would assume I was about to knock on the front door to the Emperor's Private Apartments or something based on just how immaculate the house and grounds here are."
Sighing again the girl raised a fist and knocked LOUDLY on the front door. She would have rung the doorbell, if she knew what a doorbell was. The closest thing she was familiar with to a Doorbell was an actual bell that hung near a door that you would strike to inform the residents of wealthy homes that you would like to see them.
When the door opened to reveal the incredibly overweight form of Vernon Dursley, the girl mentally groaned while thinking to herself 'Okay, so perhaps I misjudged… not the Emperor, but rather the Prime Minister. And I am beginning to understand the desire to hunt walruses that I had earlier all of a sudden.'
"No Solicitors!" the portly man stated before moving to close the door in the girl's face.
The girl promptly slammed her open palm against the door using her rather considerable strength… what would probably actually be considered Superhuman Strength by what was beginning to appear to be the standards of this world... and stopped the progress of the door flat.
"Excuse me, but does one Harry Potter live at this address?" the girl inquired.
The man went a sickly shade of puce and demanded "What do you want with the freak?"
'Freak?' the girl thought to herself before continuing vocally, "I am a relative on his father's side of the family, and only recently found out where he was being lodged. I am primarily interested in determining whether he is being well looked after. Now please show me to him."
"That Dumbledore freak, he never mentioned the boy had relatives on his father's side of the family. Truth be told, we never wanted the boy in our house, but Dumbledore, he made us feel like we had no choice in the matter." Vernon stated in a low tone, his puce shade having settled for a more neutral sickly green.
"I see. Well, if that is the case, then I doubt it would be in everyone's best interest for you to continue looking after him." the girl admitted.
"Yes, yes… but what about the protection we get by having him in our home?" Vernon asked.
"Protection? What protection?" the girl asked.
"Vernon, who's at the door?" a feminine voice asked from inside the home.
"Some relative of the boy, on his father's side of the family." Vernon called back.
"Get her off the street then… whatever will the neighbors think?" the voice called back.
The girl scowled at that statement as it was one that reminded her a little too much of the world she came from.
"Yes, won't you come in?" Vernon asked.
"Don't mind if I… what the hell… are those locks on the cupboard under the stairs? Is that where you keep my… nephew?" the girl shrieked as she entered the house and saw the locks on the cupboard.
"It is for his own good. We had to put a stop to all his freakish nonsense we did." Vernon hedged.
"Open... It... Now... Before... I… Get… Angry." the girl commanded.
Vernon only now noticed the object strapped to her back, and recognized it for what it was, "I-is t-that a-a g-gun?"
"Yes… a very real gun, which I am fully trained in the operation of. It is also fully loaded… and doesn't actually have Safeties built into it the way other Guns do." the girl explained heatedly before thinking 'then again, considering that it uses my emotions as it's ammunition, it doesn't really need safeties, but he doesn't need to know that.'
Visibly shaking in fear, Vernon opened the locks, and let the door fall open so that the occupant of the cupboard could be seen.
The girl gasped at what she was seeing. There were a number of reasons for her to gasp. First and foremost was the fact that this kid was suffering from at least two major breaks in his left arm. Another reason was because there was a visible pearlescent glow as whatever magic this kid possessed was slowly enacting the process of mending the breaks, but it was doing it too slowly, and the breaks would never properly heal because they were never set properly.
Then there was the fact that the kid was conscious while all of this happened.
The girl knelt down next to Harry and said "Hello there Harry, my name is 'Mine' and yes I realize it is a rather weird name for a person to have. Now I need to set these bones so that they heal properly. This is going to hurt a lot, especially since you are awake for it. But if I don't do this, your magic will heal them incorrectly, and you will never be able to live life to your full potential. Do you understand?"
Harry scrutinized Mine for a few moments before giving a swift nod of his head, but he didn't speak.
"Okay then, hold tight Harry, this will hurt." Mine said as she swiftly grabbed his arm and set the two breaks so that they would heal properly.
She grimaced at the fact that despite his obvious pain, Harry didn't cry out.
As soon as that was done, she swiftly stood up and turned around with her hands on her hips and exclaimed "JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?"
"It was for his own good I tell you." Vernon exclaimed stubbornly.
"Something like that is NEVER for a person's own good. I think it would be best if you signed over all custody of Harry to me, as you are clearly unfit to be his guardians." Mine stated firmly.
Vernon went white, "The thing is… we never filed for custody of him. We don't even know who his legal guardian actually is at the moment. Probably that Dumbledore fellow."
"Yes… well I am certainly not leaving Harry in this environment." Mine said as she turned around and gingerly scooped up the scrawny seven year old… he was too scrawny for his age, which was at least partially down to the fact that he was living in a small cupboard under the stairs, but it might also be partially due to potential malnourishment.
Once she had him securely on her waist, she turned to Vernon and said "If I never see you again, it will be too soon. Good day."
With that she left the home.
xXx Two Blocks away from Privet Drive xXx
Mine stopped walking for a moment and looked to the sky in exasperation. "Oh geeze… this has been a day for the record books Harry-kun."
"Mine?" Harry asked curiously.
Mine chuckled as she replayed what she had just said "Oh! right… 'kun' is a sort of affectionate addition people put on the end of the names of young boys that they are fond of. It is really popular back where I come from. The version for girls would be 'chan.' Now you can call me either Mine-chan, or Kaasan, whichever you prefer, Kaasan basically means the same thing as Mother or Mom. I will be that for you from now on."
"Ok… Kaasan…" Harry said uncertainly as if testing the word out to see how it feels.
"Now, let's see… oh bugger… first off, how in the name of all that is holy did someone manage to pull a duplicate of Headquarters into this world? And second off… why did it have to be in Nottinghamshire? That is over one hundred miles from here… no way I can do that with you on my hip, Harry-kun. It'd be rough even by myself, but it could be done. Now what do I do?" Mine complained.
Harry tugged on Mine's hair before waving one of his hands in the air in front of them. Mine only averted disaster by heeding what was obviously a subconscious warning from the kid and jumping back away from the street she had been standing in mere moments ago.
With a loud bang and other assorted noises a large triple decker bus appeared in front of them out of thin air. Mine couldn't quite suppress the whistle of admiration for the magic this world seemed to possess. Summoning buses out of thin air was not something you would normally see being done where she was from. In fact buses themselves were a bit technologically beyond the people back there.
Mine and Harry got onto the bus, and Mine only half paid attention to the spiel by the conductor… however the instant he mentioned the price of a cup of hot cocoa, Mine looked at him incredulously and just had to ask "Wait, wait, wait… you mean to say you accept gardening equipment as a form of currency?"
The conductor looked at her in confusion and asked "Muggle?"
"Huh?"
"It… it means Non-Magical Folk." The conductor admitted.
"Couldn't just call it 'non-magical' or 'mundanes' or something?" Mine asked with a raised eyebrow.
"It has been in use for centuries, I have no idea who came up with it." the man admitted.
Mine shrugged and said "Well at any rate, I do have magic, it just probably isn't the sort of magic you are used to in your society. I am foreign and from very far out of town from what I can discern."
"Ah! I see. Well in that case, a Sickle is a silver coin that is worth 0.29 British Pounds if I remember correctly." the man explained.
Mine scrunched up her face in confusion before saying "I must be from way farther out of town than I had originally thought I was if that is the conversion rate for a silver coin into the modern mundane currency."
"What do you mean?" the man asked.
"Well… from where I am from, an ounce of silver would be worth… roughly 10 British Pounds… But that is assuming it is PURE silver." Mine explained.
"THOSE RUDDY GOBLINS!" The man squawked in outrage.
"Anyways I need to go to the outskirts of Sherwood Forest. I would ask for a closer location to where I am going, but I really don't want to see how well this bus handles a portion of that forest with no roads in it." Mine explained.
"Yeah, sure, not a problem." The conductor admitted.
xXx Several Minutes Later xXx
xXx Sherwood Forest xXx
Mine casually walked through the forest with Harry on her hip. "Now Harry-kun, until I can make certain that the area surrounding our new home is one hundred percent child friendly, you are not to leave the compound without me by your side, is that clear?"
"Okay, Kaasan." Harry acknowledged.
"Okay, well, here we are. This is your new home Harry-kun, what do you think of it?" Mine asked.
"Does it know it has a rock on top of it?" Harry asked in a confused tone of voice.
Mine looked up at the building, and sure enough, there was a rather big boulder on top of it defying all logic. "Harry-kun… when it comes to magic and architecture… the best thing is to assume that the laws of logic are only suggestions for what you should do, not what you can do. In other words, logic is overrated."
"Uncle Vernon says there is no such thing as magic." Harry stated sadly.
"Well… Uncle Vernon is a big fat walrus with absolutely no imagination. You can tell him I said that if I ever let you see him again." Mine stated. "Now let us go see what we can find inside our house."
"Okay!" Harry stated.
xXx Sometime Later xXx
Mine was sat comfortably on her favorite couch in the building gazing at the form of something that was giving her a rather big migraine at the moment.
"Kaasan, why do you look so upset?" Harry asked.
"Well… simply because this sword is more trouble than it is really worth. The only person I know of who can use it, doesn't exist in this world as near as I can tell, and even if she did, it would be unlikely that she would have the necessary training to utilize it properly. Which means it might as well be a huge honking hunk of tin as far as I am concerned. Lethally dangerous tin… but tin all the same."
"Can't you use it?" Harry asked.
Mine laughed. "Yeah… no. Not happening."
"Mmmh, maybe we can find someone else who can use it… maybe Zoro? no… that probably wouldn't work out." Harry mumbled to himself, though Mine heard him, and she raised an eyebrow.
"Harry… did… did you know I was coming before I showed up at your Uncle's house yesterday?" she asked. It was after midnight at this point so technically it had happened the previous day.
"I called you, you answered. You were so brave." Harry said sadly.
Mine choked at that statement. That pretty much confirmed her fear, that she was effectively dead in her original world. Though it doesn't really explain how she was able to be alive in this world, or how the Headquarters, Pumpkin, Muramasa and oddly enough Lionelle all showed up here with her…
Of course Harry was much too young to truly understand what he was doing with his magic… but even still, what Harry seemed to be doing… well it kind of made the stuff that the people in her world were capable of seem like parlor tricks in comparison.
Suddenly Mine heard a loud popping sound come from outside of the compound… and all of her training kicked into overdrive. "Harry, go hide in Akame-chan's room. It is the best defended."
Harry nodded and stood up and ran into his absentee new older sister's room.
Meanwhile Mine grabbed Pumpkin and switched it into it's Machine Gun form. Close quarters combat and inside Headquarters… not good…
Suddenly there was a gentle knocking at the front door to the compound, and Mine actually had to laugh. She walked to the front door and kicked it open while pointing the gun at whoever was on the other side.
"Ah… would I have the pleasure of addressing a Miss Mine?" the man in front of her inquired in a polite tone of voice.
Mine appraised the old man, and calling him old might be an injustice to old people… this guy looked positively ANCIENT. He also looked like the poster child for every Archwizard Stereotype conceivable.
"Who wants to know?" Mine asked.
"Ah, well I am afraid you won't remember that beyond tonight. Obliviate!" the man said while pointing an odd looking stick at her.
Mine watched fascinated as an odd looking light shined in her face. As soon as it had finished the man stated something else, that was obviously a more offensive spell compared to whatever that was he had originally cast judging by the first syllable in it, "Stupe-gurk."
The "gurk" sound was the end result of Mine pulling the trigger on Pumpkin while aiming at the ground directly in front of his feet. "I suggest not attempting to do something which can be interpreted as harmful to the woman who is pointing a high powered fully automatic machine gun at your ass old man… now from the top… what is your name, and why are you here?"
"How? You shouldn't even remember my presence or the… you're a high level Occlumens, aren't you?" the man inquired.
"What is an Occlumens?" Mine inquired in a neutral tone of voice.
"It means you can shield your mind from unwanted intrusion." the old man explained.
Mine gave him a flat look and said "I have so much built up mental pollution from the shit I have experienced in my life, that it would be a nightmare for an intruder to try and find anything relevant to whatever they entered my mind to look for."
"Yes... well I really need to return young Harry to his relative's home…" the man stated, seeing no alternative aside from explaining the situation.
"No." Mine stated flatly.
"I beg your pardon, dear girl?"
"I said 'no' which means 'under no circumstances will Harry be returning to the Dursley residence.'" Mine stated rather succinctly.
"I really must insist." the man stated.
"Why?" Mine asked beginning to lose patience with this man.
"It is for the greater good!" the man stated sagely.
Mine grinned menacingly "Do you want me to tell you what I did to the last person who quoted some sort of lofty idealized philosophical rationalization to explain why he was allowing crimes to continue under his watch in front of me? Or worse still the last one who was committing the crimes himself under the name of said idealized philosophical rationalization. I can actually sympathize more with criminals who will just admit that they are in fact criminals."
The man in front of her gulped in realization that pressing the issue might get messy… and not even the Elder Wand is fast enough to keep up with a machine gun at such close range as this…
"Madam… you have made a point that I really find myself incapable of finding any fault with. Alas it would be absolutely disastrous should certain people within the Ministry of Magic discover the location of Harry's new residence. I can see that your home is well guarded against entry by mundane methods, but that is not the case for magical methods such as the one I used to get here. May I make a suggestion?"
"I suppose." Mine said with a shrug.
"Allow me to cast the Fidelius Charm with myself as the Secret Keeper. Then no one except those I give the secret too will be able to find the residence." the man stated.
"No." Mine said flatly.
"Whyever not?" the man asked.
"First off is the fact I don't know you, so I am not about to give you sole authority to determine who can and can't enter my home. Next is the fact that this is Harry's home now, and he deserves as much say as I do on who can and can't enter the house. And next is the fact that I don't necessarily trust the people that you trust, so the people you would give access to, may not be the people I would give access to. Are those enough reasons? I'm not all that opposed to the idea of the charm… but I am opposed to your choice in… Secret Keeper…" Mine explained rather heatedly.
"Yes… I do see your point… that would be rather foolish of you now that I think about it. I can cast the charm with you as the Secret Keeper, should you prefer." the man stated.
"Could you cast it with both Harry and I as dual Secret Keepers?" Mine asked.
"I can… but I don't think that is wise. Harry is only seven years old, he could let the secret slip without even knowing what he is doing…" the man hedged.
"I don't think that will be an issue once I explain the situation to him and make the suggestion I am going to make to him." Mine explained.
"I see… then, very well, I will do as you have asked." the man stated.
"You never did tell me your name." Mine stated.
"Oh, forgive me. My name is Albus Dumbledore." the man stated, "I am the headmaster of a school I am very hopeful that Harry will one day attend, as well as a few other things…"
"I will think about it." Mine stated dismissively.