Characters: Gin, Rangiku
Summary: Sorry, Rangiku. I can't stay. You have no idea how much I wish I could.
Pairings: GinRan
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for Soul Society arc; vague, vague spoilers for Deicide arc
Timeline: Soul Society arc
Author's Note: I wonder: just what was Gin thinking as he left Soul Society?
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
The light breaks through a roiling ocean of cloud and we see each other through the stormy shadows, shafts of light to illuminate us through the darkness.
I look at you and you look at me and I think we both realize that this is how it will always be from here on. You and me, staring at each other from opposite sides of the divide. Almost close enough to touch, but worlds away.
Her face is pale and… and… Gin doesn't know how to describe Rangiku's face, as he steps away. He's the only one standing in a shaft of light but she may as well be too; her face is that easily read to him.
But still, he can't quite make out that other quality, the other emotion that makes the contours of her face glitter and shine and seem so much duller than it actually it. Maybe a morass of disbelief and indignation and anguish and protest. Yes… That's probably it.
And Gin can't tell her a thing. He can't say a word to her, because Rangiku can't hear him from all the way up here, and even if she could she still wouldn't be able to hear him. The language in which he would fall to in attempting to explain is one inaudible to human ears, incomprehensible.
There is regret, but what is done can not be undone. Whatever path Gin has laid out before him—and he can't see it, because it's all laid down in shadows; the future is hidden from him, whatever outcome may come of this—he must walk down. There can be no other way, no regrets, no looking back.
Yet there is regret, more than he can count. Just a few more tears to fill up the sea, a few more tears… Because he didn't want to leave her, not here, not anywhere, not now, not ever. Because while Gin has no idea what the future holds for him, he does know this much:
That out of all the roads that may arise, out of all of the possibilities of his future, there are no paths that will lead him back to her. That much is certain.
From within, Gin says his final goodbyes to Rangiku while he is drifting away with Aizen and Tousen towards the dark stronghold of Hueco Mundo. There are no words he can say that can adequately articulate what he feels as he looks down at her, betrayal shining around her like a nimbus of gentle blue light.
Now, there is pain. Pain that no amount of attempting not to acknowledge will ever make go away. Because this is home to Gin, if only because Rangiku is here and every memory that has ever actually meant something to him is here. This is where all the thoughts will go in the endless night of Hueco Mundo, to a place where there is rain and trees, and to her, who stands, silent and betrayed, on the ground with all the others.
Gin can't believe how small and frail everyone looks from here. Even her. Especially her.
And while he wishes he could stay, he knows he can't.
Because from within, the knowledge comes, that if he doesn't set things to right, no one ever will.