Invitation for a Seduction

Description: "You are invited to a seduction." Levi's emotions were mixed, with annoyance and confusion battling for dominance. What in the hell was that madwoman thinking?

Rating: M

Characters: Hanji Z., Levi

Genre: Romance/Humor

Levi was sick of training teenagers. He hated when they got a batch of new recruits. He always found himself wondering which of them would be the first to die. He hated that he thought like that now, but it was realistic and easier than getting to know the kids just to watch them die.

He entered his room and immediately sensed something was off. He reached for his blade. Only an idiot would enter his room without his permission.

When he saw his desk, he lowered his blade. He'd been right. An idiot had been here.

There on his desk rested a bundle of wild flowers and a note. He walked over, picking up one of the orange flowers, examining it the way another person might look over a clue. It appeared she'd cut off the entire bunch using her blades. He swallowed some irritation. That was foolish of her, to dull her blades over some flowers. He would have to speak with her about how she should only use her blades to bring down titans, not to try her hand as a florist.

She also hadn't bothered to clean the damn things, and flecks of dirt now scattered his desk and the floor beneath it.

He set the flowers back down, ignoring the note, and threw the entire bouquet into his waste bin. He then cleaned up the dirt using a brush and waste pan.

Levi continued ignoring the note, not really interested in the ravings of a lunatic, in favor of a shower.

When he was clean again, he redressed and laid on his bed, shutting his eyes.

But sleep didn't come. His mind kept wondering, "What had been the meaning of flowers? What was in Hanji's note?"

Giving in to the curiosity, Levi pulled himself up and snatched the note from his desk. It was written in Hanji's chicken scratch if there had been any doubt to who had intruded before. It read:

You are invited to a seduction. Wear the kind of clothes you would like to be seduced in.

Tonight, 10 pm

In your room

P.S. I know that's a bit presumptuous to invite you to a seduction in your own room, but if we use my room, it's just going to turn into a lecture about how I shouldn't leave all that paper lying around and should clean more, and blah blah blah. And that's just not a good way to start a seduction. Well, it might work for you, but not me. And let's just establish right off the bat that I expect this to go two ways.

Levi could hear Hanji's rambling voice as he read the note. The last sentence was scrunched up as if she hadn't expected to say so much and ran out of room. He read the note again, not comprehending. His emotions were mixed, with confusion and annoyance battling for dominance.

What in the hell was the mad woman thinking?

He put the note back down. Weird. This was weird. But then, that was Hanji in a word – weird.

How does one answer a note like that?

At 8:06, Levi still wasn't sure how to respond to Hanji's note. She hadn't been at dinner, which wasn't unusual, she often forgot eating when she was working on something, but it still felt like avoidance. Though he usually wandered down to her lab during the afternoon hours, which he hadn't done today, so maybe she wasn't avoiding him as much as he was avoiding her.

He was making his way down to the gym, hoping to pound away the confusion.

Why would Hanji do this? It made no sense to seduce him. Even less sense to announce that was her intention. Didn't regular people try to pretty up their intentions with like dinner or a movie first?

Not that he usually cared about regular people, but he didn't know anyone with a stable relationship, so stereotypes had to guide him to a certain degree.

He began to pound the heavy bag, letting his thoughts focus on his fists and the weight resisting them. This was all second nature to his body, so it didn't take long for his mind to wander.

What exactly did she mean by seduction? He knew the traditional purpose of a seduction, but Hanji wasn't a traditional person. Maybe this was all an attempt to butter him up to gain some additional funding for her titan experiments. That seemed likely.

Hanji wasn't dumb, she would know how to throw him off his game. Pretending to want to sleep with him, unfortunately was working. He couldn't stop thinking about it now that the seed had been planted, and she knew his experiences in such matters were limited. She knew even the mere implication of sex would throw him off, and so if she started with that then took it away, he might be so relieved to let her cut into his black tea or cleaning supplies budget for some experiment of hers.

That had to be it.

Five minutes to 10, Levi walked to his room, ready to wash off the sweat and then face Hanji and her manipulations. He would not let anything budgeted to him get cut.

He opened the door, and was a little surprised to find it in the same condition he left it in – clean and Spartan. He'd half wondered if Hanji would try setting up candles and music after her attempts at flowers.

Not that he cared.

He went into his adjuring private bath, one of the few privileges he enjoyed from being "Humanity's Strongest." He stripped down, throwing his clothes in their appropriate laundry bags.

He took his time. Figuring that it would be likely that Hanji was running late, as she almost always did. Thirty minutes passed and the hot water was gone before he deemed himself clean.

He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He hadn't bothered grabbing any clean clothes beforehand, so he went back to his bedroom, and there was Hanji, drooling on his bed. A smile threatened to break through but he forced it down. Was this really her idea of a seduction?

He dried his hair, sitting next to her on the bed. She must have not been asleep for long, because the movement woke her. She startled herself awake, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. She ducked her head.

"Sorry, I snuck in here after I heard your shower turn on. How long do you usually take in there? It seemed like forever. Plus your bed is so soft. Must be one of the perks of being Humanity's Strongest Solider." She eyed him in his towel and grinned. "So that's what you wear to a seduction, huh? Almost nothing at all."

Levi shot her his best glare. "And you wore your uniform."

Hanji shrugged. "I don't really have anything else, and this one is clean, figured you'd appreciate that." She leaned back on her hands, lounging on his bed like she did this every day. "You know I had adapted a sexy pose for when you walked out."

"Really?" The smile was threatening again.

Hanji nodded. Then she demonstrated. It wasn't sexy. It was too posed, completely unnatural and not like her at all. Levi turned his head away, "That's stupid. Did you get that out of a movie?"

Hanji went back reclining. "No, just wanted to try, you know…normal romance stuff." She trailed off. "Look, neither of us is really the romance type, so why don't we just talk?"

Levi nodded. Then waited for her to start talking. He knew she would get to the point of what she was really after if he just let her babble.

Hanji rolled her eyes, but smiled to show she actually thought it was adorable how predictable he could be. "I've been…" She searched for the word, horny popped into her mind first, but it was more than that. "…lonely lately. And I know fraternization is frowned upon, but let's face it, it's not an enforced rule or anything. I always thought it was stupid anyway. As long as we all stay committed to saving humanity, what does it matter what we do with our very small amount of free time? Well, maybe other soldiers have more free time, I mostly just focus on my research. Then again, I guess there could be issues with putting soldiers in danger on missions. I read this article about how soldiers can take more risks when…"

Levi interrupted, "Hanji, get back to the topic."

"Right. Anyway, I always thought it was a slightly dumb rule. But it makes sense in a way that superiors shouldn't be sleeping with subordinates. Abuse of power and all that. So that limited my choices to you or Mike. And, well, I would prefer you."

Levi was surprised that it truly seemed like Hanji wasn't after anything other than…he let the thought drift. But Hanji was right. They didn't really do romance. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You prefer me?"

"For this, yes." She smiled again.

"May I ask why?"

"Of course you can. It's mostly that I just find you more attractive, but I also think you'd be better in bed and keeping it secret."

That was a little too honest, and Levi could feel his ears turn red. Hanji laughed and threw an arm around him. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. We're friends Levi, I'm probably closer to you than Mike anyway. And we don't have to do anything."

"That's not very seductive talk."

She laughed again. They shared a moment of comfortable silence. Levi asked, "Why do you want to do this?"

Hanji wanted to point out he'd already asked her this question, but she decided to answer with something more like the truth this time. "It gets to me, watching everyone around us die. It's the most primal way for a human to be reminded of living. In fact, I read in a journal that people in life-threatening situations often find themselves with a higher than average libido. Probably some evolutionary instinct to continue the species."

Levi frowned. "You don't want to reproduce, right?"

"No, that would be very bad timing right now. I just want to practice," she answered with a grin.

This was a very weird conversation, Levi thought. But then, what else would he expect from Hanji? "Why the note and flowers? Don't regular people…" He trailed off, realizing he actually had no idea how regular people began physical relationships.

"You're too socially inept to even notice subtly, and besides, it's not my style anyway." She stood up. "So yes or no, Levi?"

He realized he did know one thing about regular people and their relationships. "Shouldn't we be worried about the friendship and how this would affect it?"

Hanji chuckled. "If our friendship can overcome your personality, I'm not worried about sex. Besides normal people don't live with the immediate threat of death. Gives you a different perspective."

"They lose fewer people." He didn't want to say it, but what if they got closer? What if this just made it worse when one of them ran out of luck? Which really wasn't a question of if but when.

"I don't live my life in fear of what ifs, Levi. I'd never leave my bed if I did that."

He nodded, understanding that feeling well.

He stood up, deciding. It was slightly annoying that he had to pull her down to him, but it really didn't matter.

Their first kiss was awkward, as both of them were soldiers built for war rather than lovers. But they figured it out quickly enough. Soon tongues were battling for dominance, as he forced her back onto his bed. He now wished he had been wearing more, as he struggled with leather straps, one motion from Hanji left him completely naked.

She giggled and he pulled away scowling. "What the fuck are you laughing at, four eyes?"

Hanji kept smiling. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. I'm having fun. You should really try it some time." Her arms looped around his neck loosely.

Levi kept scowling but didn't move away any further. "I don't know why I spend any time with you."

She locked a leg around his waist and thrusted up. It took Levi by surprise and he nearly blushed at the contact, specifically the hardened part she'd come into contact with. "I have a hypothesis. Feel like testing it out?"

He leaned back in, throwing out "Smart ass," before his lips crashed into hers.

They kissed wildly for either a moment or hours, before Hanji used her leverage and his surprise to flip them. She pulled away to unbutton her shirt, as she smiled down at him. "I think I quite like this view."

Levi's hands caressed her flat stomach, moving up to touch her exposed breast. "I'm not complaining."

She smiled again, completely removing her shirt. She threw it onto the floor, which Levi's eyes followed. He didn't like a mess.

But she distracted him quickly enough, kissing him once more. Her lips and tongue traced a path down his body, and his head arched back into his pillow. This hadn't been how he expected his day would end.

When she enveloped him with her mouth, he couldn't stop the groan. He swore he could feel the smile around his dick. She lived to get a reaction out of him.

He resolved he'd pay her back and lifted her head from his lap. She seemed confused, but he switched their positions before she got a chance to question him.

He removed her boots, followed by her pants, leaving her almost as naked as him.

Levi took a moment to stare. Hanji lifted her hips, giving leverage to remove that last scrap of cloth covering her, but he ignored her. He climbed back up her body, tasting her along the way. A lick here and kiss there, until he was back up to her face. She still looked confused.

He brought a hand up to remove her glasses. "These are absolutely filthy."

She laughed as he reached behind to set her glasses on his bedside stand. She brought an arm to rest behind her head. "It's good to know you don't change, Levi."

He thought about taking her hair down but the thought of how dirty it was made him decide it wasn't important. He nibbled on her neck instead, slowly making his way back down her body.

She hummed in approval, lifting her hips again, signaling what she wanted.

He ignored her message, again. He moved down from her boobs, to her stomach, to her hips, and then skipping to her thighs, until he made his way to her feet.

Hanji grumbled, "Who knew you were such a tease?"

He moved up her body again, sans the kissing this time. "Think of it as payback for all those damn titan lectures you forced me to endure."

Levi slipped a finger inside of her panties and was satisfied by the wetness he found. He then moved the underwear aside to replace his finger with his dick.

They stopped talking after that.

Laying together, gathering their breaths back, Hanji curled up into the cradle of Levi's arm. "By the way, Levi, did you know that too much black tea is bad for you?"

"No."

"But I read about…"

"No. You're not getting my tea budget for your titans."

She traced a pectoral muscle. "Well, do you really need all of that money for cleaning supplies?"

Levi sighed. This was an odd start to an affair.

A/N. So this is based on a Neil Gaiman quote on how to seduce a writer, but I decided it would work on any socially inept person. ( post/18932682858/as-requested-by-too-many-people-making-the-last)

This will be a series of one-shots (mostly Levihan but other stuff may sneak in) that probably will stand alone. I may eventually take prompts, but I've got a few ideas to start with.