The Legend of the Frog Prince

by SilentN

Almost everyone has heard the tale of The Frog Prince...but you've never heard it told in the world of Hyrule! A prince has found himself transformed into a frog and cast into the land of Hyrule. His only hope for breaking the curse is to meet Princess Zelda and receive a kiss from her. Unfortunately, things don't quite go as they usually do in other forms of the tale... (parody)

Disclaimer: I own none of the content nor characters used in this story.

A/N: Greetings, viewers. For those of you who are following my main fanfic, 'The Legend of Zelda: TriSpirit'; I would like to apologize for the hiatus. The revisions have been taking a lot longer than I would have ever anticipated, partially due to most of my spare time being dedicated to playing Breath of the Wild lately instead of writing, and partially because of just plainly struggling with writer's block, so it may still be a few more weeks yet before I can start uploading the revised version like I had promised, but in the meantime, I hope this one-shot will please you for now.

What you are about to read is just a dumb parody of "The Frog Prince" told in the world of Hyrule that I had thought up at the spur of the moment while playing The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It was originally conceived to be much shorter, but I enjoyed the comical direction that the dialogue was going in and ended up extending it far beyond what I had initially planned. This definitely isn't similar in tone to TriSpirit, but if you don't mind a silly parody then just sit back and enjoy reading!

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The Legend of
THE FROG PRINCE

Once upon a time, there lived a young prince whose name was Charming.

_No, really; that was his actual name. It was a name that had been passed down in his family for generations, apparently.

Anyway; a cheerful, handsome, and talented youth, Prince Charming was widely known and loved by his people. He was the pride and joy of the King and Queen, who had high hopes and expectations for their son as the kingdom's future ruler.

...Or so it is said, anyway. No one can really be sure, since the King and Queen never seemed to be in the mood to want to talk about him, and so the only accounts ever given have always been his own.

But anyhow, there also lived an evil witch just outside of the kingdom who despised the royal family with every fiber of her wicked heart. She longed to get rid of the prince by any means necessary. "I'll eat dirt before I bow down to that little punk!" she would say to herself. "I must see to it that he never makes his claim to the throne!"

...And after saying that, she would often go sit down at her computer and play 'Frogger' to get her mind off the matter. And every time she would get a 'GAME OVER' (which was quite often, since she was not very good at the game) she liked to pretend that the titular frog protagonist was the prince himself in the form of a frog as a result of having been cursed by her.

There came a day, however, when it had finally occurred to her that she actually could turn Prince Charming into a frog and put him through such dangers. She is a witch after all, and so she has more than enough spells in her arsenal to do whatever evil thing she pleases to the royal heir.
She arrived at his home in the castle one day and made her way to Prince Charming's room. "Eee hee hee! So I've got you, my pretty!" cackled the witch madly upon bursting through the door.

...Only to find the room absolutely empty. "Huh? Where is he?" she questioned to herself as she looked around in confusion.

Hearing a noise coming from the other side of a nearby door, she decided to take a look... And there she found him; the prince whom she so despised...seated on the toilet and playing around on his phone.

Prince Charming looked up from his phone and jolted in horror at what he saw standing in the doorway before him. "Wah! Hey lady! Ever heard of knocking?!" he screamed as he quickly pulled up his pants.

"Um... Whoops..." said the witch awkwardly as she looked away in embarrassment. "I guess this is a bad time..?"

"Yes, I'd say so..!" said the flustered prince.

"Sorry..." apologized the witch. "Will you be done soon or should I come back later..?"

"Meh, I should be finished in a few more minutes," answered Prince Charming.

"Very well then," said the witch as she began to close the door. "I shall wait. Sorry again."

"I should hope you'd be sorry!" said Prince Charming angrily as he looked back down to his phone. "I just lost my high score because of your interruption!"

It was then that the witch recognized the sound effects coming from the prince's phone. "Wait_ Are you playing Frogger..?!" she exclaimed as she ran to his side to look over his shoulder. Sure enough, he was.

"H-hey now!" exclaimed the perturbed prince as the witch stood uncomfortably close to his side while he was still in the middle of his private business. "Weren't you just about to go back outside?! I say! This is quite rude and undignified!"

The witch became furious once she saw that Prince Charming was much father into the game than she has ever managed to reach; she never even made it beyond the very first stage, and here was the prince...all the way at the highest level in the game! It was bad enough that a twerp like him was the heir to the throne, but upon seeing that he was also a much better Frogger player than herself on top of it had caused the witch to turn completely green with envy.

...Wait_ Never mind; she already was green in the first place. The envy had nothing to do with that.

Anyhow, regardless of whatever the source of her bad complexion may be, the witch's rage became so great that she no longer cared to wait for Prince Charming to finish doing his business. "This is an outrage!" she screamed in frustration. "I've been trying to master that game for years! Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be surpassed by some younger brat at a game that I've been playing since it's original arcade release?! That's just disgusting! ...But more importantly; do you have any idea how many germs you get on that phone of yours when you play it while using the toilet?! That's even more disgusting!"

"And that's coming from an old hag whose every inch is completely covered in warts..." said Prince Charming.

"Hey! Warts can come back into style any old day!" protested the vexed witch. "In fact, that's a style I know you will be donning from today on! So you like hopping about as a frog, do you?! Well then, you're certainly in luck! Because that's the very fate that I just so happened to have in mind for you!" Before the prince could react, she then drew her magic wand and cast a spell on him with the following words;

"By my dark power, I now curse thee;
A prince you were born, but frog shall be!
For the rest of your days, you shall be croakin'
Unless with a princess's kiss, this spell be broken!"

Immediately, the spell took effect, and the prince was transformed right there and then into a frog before he even had the chance to get off the toilet. "NOOOOO! This can't be happening!" yelled Prince Charming in anguish before taking a selfie and uploading the image online with the following text to publicly share with the world;

"I can't let anyone see me like this! #FashionDisaster #GoingGreen #PoorMe #WorstDayEver #WitchesStink"

"Eee hee hee!" cackled the witch with glee upon her success. "That look suits you!"

"You soulless wretch!" said the weeping prince. "How is it even possible to be so terrible?!"

"Aw, it's easy! I've done worse deeds than this before!" gloated the witch. "I once even stole a roll of toilet paper from a public outhouse, and then, to avoid getting caught, replaced it with another roll just like it so that no one could tell the difference! Eee hee hee! Now is that clever or is that clever?! It feels so good to be so bad!"

"Huh?" said the confused prince. "Oh, actually what I meant was; how is it even possible to be so terrible at poetry; that spell of yours sounded totally lame! But yes, your deeds are quite terrible as well."

"What do you mean my spell sounded lame?!" protested the offended witch. "That was awesome poetry! Everything rhymed, didn't it?!"

"Maybe, but it takes more than just rhyming to make quality poetry..." said Prince Charming. "Besides; 'Unless with a princess's kiss, this spell be broken'..? Who places such an obvious cure in the words of a spell that you intend to be permanent?! Now all I have to do is kiss a princess and the spell will be break! That does not at all sound like a wise choice of words to use for inflicting a curse if you ask me..."

"Oh, hush! What do you know?!" scoffed the witch. "I'm the professional here, not you! I was an A student in spelling class, after all! Every spell is supposed to have some sort of breaking point in order to add drama! It's tradition! Besides, you'll never find a princess willing to kiss you in that unattractive form anyhow, so it's not as if I'd have any need to worry about that spell ever being broken. You're stuck like that for the rest of your days, punk!"

"You shall never get away with this!" protested Prince Charming.

"Too late; I already did," taunted the witch as she seized the frog-turned prince in her wrinkled hand. "And now that, in my brilliance, I've finally thought to turn you into a pitiful little frog, I will at long last be forever rid of you! I shall now cast you away to a distant kingdom, where you will wander helplessly for the rest of your days until you die! ...Which should be quite soon, since frogs have so many natural predators and all. Eee hee hee!"

"Wait_ That is your plan?" said the frog prince. "You are just going to cast me away and assume that I never make it back alive..? If you really wish to forever be rid of me, would it not make more sense just to kill me now while I am still weak, helpless, and within your grasp instead of sending me away to a distant kingdom that likely even has a princess of it's own who could break this spell if she were to kiss me..?"

"Well, I would like to simply kill you here and now..." explained the witch. "But we villains have a tradition of either turning our backs and leaving the scene or merely casting the hero away once it seems as if we have already won, blindly trusting in the assumption that everything will go according to plan and that the hero will automatically fail in any attempt to set things back to the way they should be. It would be a shame to break such a long-held tradition, and so I'm just going to cast you off and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that you must be out there somewhere, either suffering or dead, while I continue on with my nefarious ways without ever stopping to think that you may possibly find a way to return and pose a threat to me."

"That does not sound like good logic to me at all..." said the prince.

"Oh, shut up! I said it's tradition, didn't I?!" protested the witch. "Now, where shall I send you..? Ah! I know! How about Hyrule?! That's pretty far away, and there should be plenty of princesses of all kinds of different races there to break your heart when they refuse to kiss you to end your curse! And best of all; I even hear that the evil calamity is scheduled to be returning soon! Yes, it's perfect! That is where I shall send you! Enjoy your last days hopping about Hyrule Field! Eee hee hee!"

Before the Prince could react, he found himself engulfed in the witch's evil magic and being swept away at the speed of the wind. "Don't expect a postcaaaaarrrdd!" he called out to her angrily as her magic carried him away. When he next opened his eyes, he found himself lying in the land of Hyrule, with nothing but his phone by his side. "I can't believe it!" he said to himself. "That witch really did cast me all the way to Hyrule! There's Hyrule Castle in the distance ahead!"

Realizing that his only option for returning to his true self was to receive a kiss from a princess to break the curse the witch had cast upon him, the frog prince decided the most logical place to look for one was at the castle, and so he picked up his phone and searched the web for the best route to get there. "Hmm. It says that I should head straight in the direction in which the castle can be seen," he said to himself as he read the recommended path from Google. "Goodness! I sure am lucky to have had my phone on hand when that witch cast me here! I doubt anyone could have figured out such a complicated path without the aid of technology! Anyway, Hyrule Castle is still a long way off; almost an entire 15-minute trip from here on foot! The path will be long and arduous, one that no ordinary person could survive without his servants to carry him, but I, the great Prince Charming, am no ordinary person! I have a special gift that most others could only dream of having; my breathtaking good looks that will instantly make anyone wish to give me a lift! Hitchhiking should be no problem for a hunk like me!"

The Prince stuck his thumb out and waited in the streets of Castletown for a passerby to give him a ride to Hyrule Castle. No one seemed to even notice him at first, and so he continued to wait... And Wait... And Wait... And wait some more...

24 hours later, no one gave him a lift...

"I suppose..." he finally thought to himself; "In the body of a frog, I am merely a shadow of my usual beauty...which means that hitchhiking will not be an option! Woe is me! For I must now travel to the castle by foot! Who ever even heard of such an ordeal?! Walking an entire 15-minutes on end without any servants; I do not know if even I, the great Prince Charming, could pull off such an impossible feat! Has such a thing ever even been done before?! Oh, blast that wretched witch! But I will not allow her to best me! She may have succeeded in ruining my life, but I will be the one to get the last laugh against her!"

Prince Charming then took out his phone and did the cruelest thing to the witch that he knew was even possible;

He unfriended her on Facebook.

"Ha! That will show her!" he declared in congratulation to himself. "I never even wanted that old hag on my friends list in the first place! Now she shall know never to mess with this clever prince! I know how to deal with bullying! Now then, what to do about breaking this curse..? Only a kiss from a princess can change me back, but I need to reach Hyrule Castle before I can meet one...and I need to change back before anyone will pay attention to me to give me a lift there! Oh the unfairness of it all! I am trapped within an endless circle of events with no way to make ends meet! Must I truly attempt the impossible and make my way to the castle myself on foot?! ...No! Let us not start thinking irrationally now! There must be another way! I will find a way to meet with the princess of Hyrule without having to contribute any effort of my own if it is the last thing I do! ...But come to think of it; just who is the princess of Hyrule again? Perhaps I should look this up..."

Prince Charming proceeded to search Google for information regarding Hyrule's princess and learned that her name was 'Zelda'. Upon finding an image of her online, he became absolutely moonstruck by her beauty. "So that is her?! Princess Zelda?!" he exclaimed in awe. "Those bright green eyes... That lovely blond hair... That fair skin... Those abnormally pointy ears... She is so beautiful! What is this feeling building up inside of me..? Why, it can only be one thing; LOVE! But not just any love; it is TRUE LOVE! I am sure of it! After all, if looking upon some random stranger, whom I know absolutely nothing about but totally dig her outward appearance, causes my hormones to run wild to the point where I blindly covet her for completely hollow and shallow reasons like this is not true love, then what else could it possibly be? Blind attraction? Not a chance! It is obviously true love! I must meet her at any costs and declare my love! For a chic like that, I would even consider making the 15-minute trip on foot if I can find no other way! ...Whoa. Did I really just say that? I have never attempted such an ordeal before, but if true love awaits me at the end of this arduous journey...then perhaps I can do it. I am the great Prince Charming, after all. So if anyone could ever hope to pull off such an incredible feat, then it is only natural that it would have to be one like me. Why, I may very well be the only person in the world heroic enough to even be capable of pulling off such a complicated task like this one anyway!"

Gathering all the strength and courage he could muster, the heroic Prince Charming at last began the incredible journey to Hyrule Castle with nothing but his own determination to keep him going. There were many moments when he would feel as if he could no longer continue; that his legs would give in after having journeyed several feet all on his own with no one to support him; that he would pass out from sheer exhaustion before he reached his destination and never get back up... But once he looked back at the beautiful image of Princess Zelda on the screen of his phone, his will to succeed would quickly return, filling him with newfound strength to continue on and not give up.

At long last, after an unimaginably arduous journey that required a 20-minute rest after every three minutes of tiresome wandering, the long and difficult ordeal had finally come to an end when Prince Charming somehow managed to triumphantly arrive at the gates of Hyrule Castle. "I_ I did it..?!" he said to himself in awe at his amazing accomplishment. "I did! I actually pulled off the impossible and managed to make the long trip on foot! And to think that none of this would have even been possible if it was not for my sheer awesomeness! I always knew I was legend-worthy, yet even I had never realized just how much so! What a glorious day in history this is! Yes! My awe-inspiring story shall most certainly be told for countless generation to come!"

Prince Charming then took a selfie with Hyrule Castle in the background behind him and posted the image online with the following text;

"Arrived at my destination...ON FOOT! Ha! And my mother said I'd never accomplish anything! #ProvedHerWrong #PraiseMe #LivingLegend"

As he uploaded his latest selfie to the internet, Prince Charming failed to notice the approaching horses walking up the path that he was standing in the middle of. Their hoofsteps grew closer... And closer... And closer... Until_ Stamp! A white hoof came down upon the Prince's phone and crushed it right in front of him!

"Hey now!" scolded the frog prince. "Watch where you are going! Unmindful pedestrians have the right of way!" Unfortunately, the rider of the white horse did not seem to notice him and only continued to trot down the road. Prince Charming then looked to his destroyed phone and wept; "No! I still have a entire front lawn between me and Hyrule Castle! How am I supposed to continue to navigate the rest of the way there without phone service?! Woe is me! I was so close, but now I am helplessly lost! What am I to do? Must I give up and throw myself beneath the hooves of the next horse to end it all? _No! What am I saying?! I cannot resort to suicide! I already tried that once before when I was so hopelessly depressed like this after having accidentally dropped my blueberry muffin in the river...and I almost killed myself! Suicide is much too dangerous! There is no way I would ever attempt to do that nonsense again! There must be another way to solve this...but how?! Without the reliability of the internet to guide my way, how am I ever going to find my way across this straight path on Hyrule Castle's front lawn without getting lost?! Oh, it is hopeless! I shall never get to see my dearest Princess Zelda...and it is all thanks to that nincompoop on that white horse over there!"

Prince Charming turned back towards the white horse and yelled out to the rider with his whole voice; "I SHALL NEVER FORGET YOUR RIDICULOUS FACE, YOU NINCOMPOOP OF A RIDER! MAY SANTA CLAUS FILL YOUR STOCKING NEXT CHRISTMAS WITH A SHOVELFUL OF MANURE FROM THAT WHITE HORSE WHICH YOUR FILTHY BUTT IS SEATED UPON!" The rider seemed to have heard the Prince this time and turned with a scowl to see who the insolent jerk was to be yelling at her like this. It was then that Prince Charming actually saw this 'ridiculous face' of hers and realized just who this 'nincompoop of a rider' was... "Oh my goodness!" he exclaimed in delight; "It is Princess Zelda!" His feelings of delight quickly shifted into feelings of panic, however, once it occurred to him just what he had said to her... "OH MY GOODNESS!" he exclaimed in horror; "IT IS PRINCESS ZELDA!"

Not wanting to blow his chances with her, Prince Charming quickly hopped out of sight before she would realize that he was the one to have just shouted at her. Zelda continued to shift her eyes around in search of the insulter but found no obvious culprit in sight. "Did you hear that?" she said to her appointed knight riding on a brown horse beside her. "I could have sworn I had just heard someone yelling out insults just now!" The young knight merely looked around silently for the culprit before turning back to the princess with a shrug. "Oh well, that is not important, I guess," continued Princess Zelda. "Come, Link. Let us be on our way. We have much to get done and a long road ahead of us."

As Princess Zelda and her appointed knight rode off, Prince Charming let out a sigh of relief. "Whew! That was close!" he said to himself as he wiped his forehead. "Thank goodness she never saw me right after I had insulted her like that, or I might have had to kiss my chances of getting a kiss from her goodbye! I nearly messed up back there, but I suppose all is well that ends well. But now she is leaving and I never_ WAIT A SECOND! She is leaving and I never even got to introduce myself to her! I must catch up with her now or I may not get my next chance!"

Without thinking twice about it, Prince Charming found himself hopping madly after the two horses as fast as his frog legs could carry him in attempt to catch up with Princess Zelda again before she leaves town. This was easily the most labor he has done in his entire luxurious life, but somehow he had found the determination to keep going even in spite of his exhaustion. After a long and tiresome pursuit that lasted over 40 seconds, he eventually managed to cut ahead of the horses as they walked casually through the streets of town and climb atop a ledge where he could jump down from to get Zelda's attention as she passes.

"Whew! What a workout!" gasped the frog prince as he took a brief moment to catch his breath while the princess he sought approached. "Forty whole seconds of hopping takes some serious stamina! It is fortunate that I am so strong and fit, or such an unrelenting trial of endurance could have been the end of me! Now then, my Princess Zelda approaches fast, and this may very well be my last chance to catch and woo her! As such, I cannot afford to let her pass me unnoticed! I will need to time myself well and catch that white horse as it passes this way! If I jump in too soon, I will be trampled underfoot! Too late, and I will miss my only chance! That is why I must be vigilant and focused if I am to pull this off! There is no room for failure in this_ HUH?!"

It was then that Prince Charming noticed...that Princess Zelda's horse had already passed him by while he was rambling to himself.

"Noooooo! I'm too late!" he exclaimed in horror. "_Unless..." He then noticed the steed of Zelda's appointed knight was passing just within reach. Acting fast, the frog prince quickly leaped to the brown horse and just barely managed to get a grip on the overhanging baggage as they walked by. "Ha! I did it!" said the frog prince as he climbed into the bag of supplies. "What amazing reflexes I have! I am the bomb, I tell you! Now all I have to do is wait for them to stop someplace so I can speak to my beautiful Zelda and woo her with my ways like the irresistible hunk I am!"

After countless days of waiting in the knight's bag (either that or just a mere hour or two... It can be hard to tell for sure just how much time has passed after dozing off several times while waiting) Prince Charming at last found his long-awaited opportunity to introduce himself to Zelda when the two riders took a stop to rest. The frog prince climbed out of the pouch and saw Zelda sitting at just a short distance away from the parked horses and examining the wildflowers with a mysterious slate held between her hands while speaking to her appointed knight.

"There's one! Oh! And another!" she said with excitement as she used the strange slate to take pictures of the flowers like some sort of camera. "The Flowers we have in Hyrule aren't just beautiful; they're also quite useful as ingredients for a variety of things."

"There she is!" said Prince Charming to himself as he looked upon the beautiful princess. "This is my chance. I just need to go and speak with her and let the love bug bite as she looks upon my irresistibly handsome_ WAIT! I nearly forgot! I am in the body of a frog now! My irresistibly handsome face is now green and covered in slime! Will she really fall for me in this state?"

Zelda continued taking photos of the flowers until one particular specimen caught her eye and prompted a gasp of delight. "This one here is called the silent princess," she explained to her appointed knight standing silently nearby. "It's a rare, endangered species. Despite our efforts, we can't get them to grow domestically yet. The princess can only survive out here in the wild. All that we can hope...is that the species will be strong enough to prosper on it's own."

As Zelda stared down admiringly at the silent princess, her eyes became filled with a sense of serenity as a dreamy smile formed on her lips...

A smile that captivated the frog prince so much that his determination to win her affections was instantly refueled by the very sight. "I cannot give up now!" he said to himself with newfound adamancy. "I may be in the body of a frog, but this is supposedly true love that I seek! And there is much more to me than just my good looks alone! She will see through me in this less attractive state and fall in love with my inner-charm! I need only to make my best impression with my words of a true gentleman!"

Mustering up all his courage to speak with her, Prince Charming then approached Princess Zelda and greeted her smoothly with the most gentlemanly words he could think of; "Yo, Baby," he said seductively. "Nice lips you got there... Mind if I smooch 'em?"

As soon as Zelda looked down at the frog prince, her eyes lit up with sheer delight the instant they met his. Prince Charming knew right away that this could only mean one wonderful thing; she, too, has fallen desperately in love at first sight.

...Or at least that is what he had initially assumed.

"Is that what I think it is?! Look at this!" squealed Zelda in excitement as she snatched Prince Charming up in her hands and turned to her appointed knight. "I don't believe it, but I actually caught one! This delicacy is known to have very, very potent effects under the proper circumstances."

"What?! That is not how this was supposed to go!" protested Prince Charming from within her hands. "You are supposed to_ Ack!"

"Ta da!" said Zelda as she presented the frog in her hands to her knight, completely ignoring Prince Charming's protests. "Research from the castle shows that ingesting one of these can actually augment certain abilities. We wouldn't be in a controlled environment out here, but with your level of physical fitness...you'd be a perfect candidate for the study!"

Prince Charming and Zelda's knight alike both grew immediately horrified at the statement. "Say whaaaaat..?!" croaked Prince Charming in bewilderment as he found himself being pushed uncomfortably close to the knight's lips instead of Princess Zelda's. The knight himself seemed just as horrified about the situation and was unable to form a single sentence in response... Perhaps he had a frog in his throat?

"Go on!" insisted Zelda as she attempted to shove the frog prince into her reluctant knight's mouth. "Taste it!"

What happened next, nobody knows for sure, but there is clearly an invaluable lesson to be learned from this tale; stay away from crazy princesses.

THE END

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry if the ending seemed abrupt, but that was kind of intentional. This parody just popped into my head one day after having seen the "Silent Princess" memory scene in Breath of the Wild and I was reminded of the story of The Frog Prince and then thought about the idea of the cutscene being an alternate ending to that story. But for those looking for something more serious; I assure you, I will be getting back to writing TriSpirit soon enough. Now that I have recently finished playing through Breath of the Wild, revising TriSpirit can be a priority once again, so I should be back to it in the upcoming weeks.