Tittle: Celebrity Death Match: Tortallan Style!
Authors: Arram Salmalin and Lady Knight of Kennen
Disclaimer: *monotone voice* All characters in this fic are the great goddess's, Tamora Pierce. We do not own them. And Celebrity Death Match has its own copyright somewhere and we don't own that either.
"Hello and welcome to the show. I'm your host Orzone the disgruntled Stormwing * who wrote this piece of crap cue card? * And this is my co-host Varice Kingsford. We're here live and ready to rock, roll, and see some bloody action as the most terrific and horrifying battle will take place today on Celebrity Death Match: Tortallan Style.
Varice: Today will consist of a total of 4 great 3-way fights and one tremendous finale. First up will be a mages' contest consisting of the 3 most powerful mages in all of Tortall's history. And the fighters are: Numair Salmalin. Considered to be the most powerful mage in the realm, this block robe master will turn you into a tree before you can say "I'm going to dump you for some underage whore who talks to animals and has no idea that she needs to go home and kill herself!" * gets angry looks from Orzone * or um "don't hurt me."
Orzone: Riiiiiiight. well anyways, one of his opponents will be Roger, Duke of Conté. Recently brought back from the dead for the third time just so we could see him die another horrible and painful death.
Audience: YAAAAA!!!!!!
Varice: And the final fighter of round one will be Lord Thom of Trebond. Also considered to be the most powerful mage of all time, Thom has been brought back from the dead with the same purpose as Roger, to be mutilated by his colleagues.
Orzone: Now lets go ringside with referee Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak.
* All combatants and referee are standing in the ring. *
Raoul: Now you three, you all know the rules, last one standing is the winner, other than that.kill.just kill. Are you ready? LET'S GET IT ON!!!
Authors: Arram Salmalin and Lady Knight of Kennen
Disclaimer: *monotone voice* All characters in this fic are the great goddess's, Tamora Pierce. We do not own them. And Celebrity Death Match has its own copyright somewhere and we don't own that either.
"Hello and welcome to the show. I'm your host Orzone the disgruntled Stormwing * who wrote this piece of crap cue card? * And this is my co-host Varice Kingsford. We're here live and ready to rock, roll, and see some bloody action as the most terrific and horrifying battle will take place today on Celebrity Death Match: Tortallan Style.
Varice: Today will consist of a total of 4 great 3-way fights and one tremendous finale. First up will be a mages' contest consisting of the 3 most powerful mages in all of Tortall's history. And the fighters are: Numair Salmalin. Considered to be the most powerful mage in the realm, this block robe master will turn you into a tree before you can say "I'm going to dump you for some underage whore who talks to animals and has no idea that she needs to go home and kill herself!" * gets angry looks from Orzone * or um "don't hurt me."
Orzone: Riiiiiiight. well anyways, one of his opponents will be Roger, Duke of Conté. Recently brought back from the dead for the third time just so we could see him die another horrible and painful death.
Audience: YAAAAA!!!!!!
Varice: And the final fighter of round one will be Lord Thom of Trebond. Also considered to be the most powerful mage of all time, Thom has been brought back from the dead with the same purpose as Roger, to be mutilated by his colleagues.
Orzone: Now lets go ringside with referee Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak.
* All combatants and referee are standing in the ring. *
Raoul: Now you three, you all know the rules, last one standing is the winner, other than that.kill.just kill. Are you ready? LET'S GET IT ON!!!