Chapter One
"Oh Merzet, where are you?"
It had been so long since Clara had spoken her son's name, so long since she remembered who he was. Until recently, her true self had been imprisoned in a fob watch, put there by her son's former friend, Koschei, after he kidnapped her. But he had only stolen away her memories from her, he left her Gallifreyan body intact so she would live on without remembering the baby boy she loved so dearly. When she last saw him, he had been a boy of one hundred and three, a sweet, shy boy who was always bullied by everyone else on Gallifrey, including his father. She had never cared for Parius. The marriage had been arranged and almost from the start, he had been a cold and abusive man who treated her as if she were no better than a family pet. She had tried to go back to her family but they threatened to disown her if she dared to divorce him. Young and alone without anyone to turn to, she allowed herself to stay and agreed to the looming of a son since that would allow her to love someone other than her husband.
When Merzet was born, Clara fell in love with him instantly. He was such a beautiful boy. A chubby baby with a small clump of dark hair on his head and bright brown eyes that she thought were gorgeous. Parius saw things differently however. He took one look at the strange hole in his belly and stormed over to the geneticist in charge of the looms, demanding to know why his son had been born with a defect. The geneticist was flabbergasted.
"I…I don't know why that indentation is there. It wasn't there when I first loomed the boy," he had said.
"Well, I want another son. You take this flawed one off my hands and…"
"NO!"
It was the first time Clara had ever stood up to him in her life and the shock on Parius's face reflected that. Clara thought the hole strange but other than that, he was perfect and she loved him so, she wasn't about to give him up to anyone, let alone a geneticist. Parius, who was not used to backchat, spun around and stomped towards her.
"What did you just say?" he growled at her.
Clara straightened her spine and stared him down.
"We are keeping him," she said firmly. "This hole is the only thing wrong with him and that can be easily covered by clothing. I want him and that's all I'm gonna say about it!"
"He was loomed to be a Time Lord like me. He can't have any flaws; do you want the boy to be shunned by the rest of his kind?" Parius growled at her.
She refused to waver and looked him right in the eyes.
"My son will be the greatest Time Lord ever," she said with conviction. "Flaw or no flaw, this is our son and you'll treat him like he's yours or…"
"Or what? You'll leave me? You've threatened that before, Clara, and nothing ever comes of it," Parius sneered. "You're weak, you've always been weak! You'll always be weak!"
Clara glanced at the geneticist who was visibly uncomfortable with what was going on in front of him. But Clara would not waver.
"He is mine and I'm keeping him," she said, looking him dead in the eye.
For what seemed like an eternity, the two of them locked eyes as the baby lay sleeping against his mother's breast. Then Parius snorted.
"Fine, keep the oddball. Just don't expect me to call him my son," he growled at her.
"Fine then," she said.
Parius glowered at her before he turned on his heel and stomped past the stunned geneticist. Clara watched him go and then looked down at her baby boy slumbering in her arms.
"Don't worry, my darling, even if no one else in the universe accepts you, I will," she said to him before she followed her husband towards the front door of the looming center.
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"Leave me alone!" Merzet screamed as the other children teased and taunted him.
"What's wrong, Wormhole?" A ten year old boy taunted as he circled around the enraged five year old. "Don't like playing with us?"
"Yeah," another ten year old said to him. "We're just havin' a bit of fun, Snaily! Like this!"
Without warning, the burly ten year old rushed him and shoved him hard in the back, sending him sprawling to the ground as the children watching on the outskirts laughed and taunted him. Merzet leapt to his feet and spun around to face his tormentor, rage etched on his face. The ten year old snickered at the enraged expression.
"Look, Daran, little baby's mad," he said, sneering at Merzet.
Daran came around to look at him and giggled.
"Yeah, Shen, he thinks he's big and tough and…"
"What's going on here?"
The children jerked their heads over and saw Clara at the outskirts of the circle, her eyes fixed squarely on Daran and Shen. The other children quickly hurried off as the two boys swallowed hard, looked at each other and ran away before she could do anything. Clara's face instantly softened when she saw her son, bruised, battered, dirty and scratched up. She ran to him and fell to her knees.
"Merzet, love, are you alright?" she said tenderly.
Merzet looked away and nodded, mortified that his own mother found him when he was being beaten up by two older bullies. His hard demeanor faded when she gathered him in her arms and sent love into her mind.
"My poor boy," she said, stroking his hair.
Instantly, the brave façade crumbled away and Merzet began to cry softly as he clung to the only person on Gallifrey who truly loved him. He glanced up at her for a moment. Her soft brown hair fell down around her shoulders and her brown eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Merzet clung tighter and buried his face in the bodice of the brown velvet dress she usually wore.
"They made fun of me, Mummy," he said into her chest. "They said I was weird and I was a freak."
"You mustn't listen to them, Merzet," she said softly as she stroked his hair. "They don't know you like I do and you're not a freak."
Merzet clung to her as she sent love into his mind and kissed the top of his hair tenderly. She sighed, wishing she could protect her son from the other children. The teasing and tormenting had started in the nursery when the nanny took Merzet's clothes off to give him a bath. It quickly got out among the other children that Merzet had a hole in his stomach and they began calling him Wormhole and Snail. With each passing year, it got worse and worse and to her sorrow, she noticed that her cheerful son was slowly turning hard and cold and was gaining a chip on his shoulder. No child would play with him, save for one. A child that lived down the street named Koschei who was more sympathetic than the rest. Because of this, he was also taunted and bullied unmercifully and the two boys had banded together for friendship and safety. But Koschei had moved away with his family a year ago to another city and now her son was left all alone to fend for himself. She tried to defend him as much as she could but she couldn't be with him all the time and to compensate for it, Merzet was beginning to lash out at others and was developing as bad a temper as his father had. The other cousins in their house shunned him along with his father which meant that she was the only one on the planet who gave a damn if he lived or died.
After Merzet had calmed down, Clara kissed the tears away and smoothed back his hair.
"Come, my darling, come with me and we'll go home now," she said softly.
Merzet's eyes shone with love and devotion for his mother and he took her hand, ignoring the pain from his injuries as he walked home with her.
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"Mummy, do I have through this initiation rubbish?" eight year old Merzet said to Clara.
"Yes, darling, you have to. Every Time Lord child must do it before they can enter the academy," she replied.
"I just think it's stupid, that's all, if I were in charge, I wouldn't make people go look at the untempered schism," Merzet grumbled. "I wish I'd been able to build Gallifrey from the ground up and make it better. Make it so everyone is equal and no one picks on anyone else and no would have to go through the stupid initiation when they're eight."
Clara's hearts ached at hearing that and she embraced her son.
"You'll get through it, my darling, just like everything else in your life," she said to him.
"Clara, quit babying the boy, you're making him soft!"
Clara glared at Parius when he came in the room and she felt her son cling tighter to her. The man had abused not only her but him as well, calling him soft and weak and demanding he show some backbone. She lost count of the number of times her son had run to her to escape his abuse. She gasped when Parius stormed over to him, grabbed his arm and jerked him away from her arms.
"I said, stop it!" he growled, his face inches from his terrified child, "you are not to embarrass me tonight, do you hear me, boy? You are my son and a Time Lord and you will stand there at the schism and look into the heart of the vortex and not go screaming home to mummy, is that understood?"
"Yes, Sir," Merzet said in a small voice.
Clara gasped when Parius jerked his arm, causing him to wince.
"I mean it, boy. Don't you dare embarrass me tonight!" he snarled before he let go of his arm.
When he stomped out of the room, Clara came forward, hugged him from behind and held him tightly to him as she whispered comforting words in his ear and kissed away the tears that flowed down his cheeks the moment his father wasn't looking.
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Merzet shifted nervously as he waited with a group of eight year olds for his turn to look into the schism. Although there were a couple of boys there from his neighborhood, most of the children were from the other cities and to his relief, had no idea who he was. The children who did know him were too nervous about the initiation to cause him any grief so Merzet milled off to the side of them, happy for a moment's peace.
To his delight, Koschei had been among the initiates and both of them had talked quietly for awhile until it was his turn to see into the schism. He could see his friend about a hundred feet away, standing quietly beside a Time Lord dressed in his ceremonial robes. He and the others had been positioned so they could only see the side of the gold frame that had been built around the schism. There were several flaming torches that lit up the calm night sky and several other Time Lords stood among them, talking to one another in hushed voices. He and the other children were wearing the basic black and white outfit that Time Lords usually wore when not in ceremonial garb. It was itchy and uncomfortable and he longed to be out of it and home in bed fast asleep.
He glanced over his shoulder at his father who was standing with the fathers of the other children observing the ceremony in silence. He wished his father wasn't here with him but his mother wasn't a Time Lady and therefore couldn't take part or observe this ancient ceremony or any other Time Lord rite. All the way over, his father had warned him to be a man and face the schism without fear or else. In his eight short years, Merzet had grown to hate his father with a passion and frequently wished him dead. He longed for the day when he was old enough to be a match for him and get back at him for all the abuse he and his beloved mother had suffered at his hands.
His head jerked back around when he heard a scream of terror. He'd been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't realized the Time Lords had started and had brought Koschei forward to stare into the heart of time and space itself. The terrified scream had come from his friend and to his horror, Merzet saw him collapse to the ground. The Time Lords clustered around Koschei and blocked his view. As he tried to figure out what was going on, he felt his mind being pulled towards his father's mind and listened while his father warned him not to do what Koschei had just done. Merzet ignored him. His father never expected him to reply anyway since backchat was forbidden and he vaguely felt his father let go of his mind as he watched the Time Lords pick up Koschei's unconscious body and hurry away with him. He stared into the darkness, trying to see where they were going while the other children snickered and wondered aloud what had happened to him. He was so intent on seeing where they were taking him that he didn't notice one of the Time Lords had come up to him until he put his hand on his shoulder. Merzet gasped and jerked his head around.
"You're next," the man said to him.
"What? He…just collapsed," Merzet said, pointing off into the dark.
"They do that sometimes. We're used to it. Some children cannot handle the sight of time itself. I hope you're different though."
Merzet felt the same since he knew if he did what Koschei had just done he would get a severe beating when they got home. The Time Lord put his hand on Merzet's shoulder and he slowly walked with him. Two other Time Lords were left now, the rest had taken Koschei to what Merzet hoped was the infirmary. He ached, not knowing what had become of his friend and he hoped he was alright. In the interim, the Time Lords had covered the gap with a large velvet cloth so he wouldn't see it before it was time. Merzet swallowed the fear that was increasing with every step as the Time Lord led him to a point about ten feet in front of the schism. When he was in position, the Time Lord stopped him and walked over to the cloth.
"Behold, Child of Time, your heritage," the Time Lord said loudly.
He then jerked the cloth away and Merzet forced himself to stand as he looked at the swirling vortex in front of him. At first he couldn't understand why some had run away or passed out at the sight of it. He looked at the swirling time winds and thought they were pretty. But then he felt something in his mind, a presence there that seemed to be taking him over, crowding out his thoughts. His eyes widened when he heard a voice begin to whisper to him about his destiny.
Look well, Time Lord, the voice whispered. This is your destiny, you will be the greatest of all the Time Lords who have ever been but you will suffer many hardships and heartsbreak and you will know the deepest depths of despair and loneliness.
Hearing that, Merzet's heart was gripped with fear. He took a step backward when he realized that the torment and hatred that he had suffered for as long as he could remember was only the beginning. That many would hate and fear and shun him through the centuries to come. Suddenly all he wanted was to be with his mother, to be a normal Gallifreyan like her and reject the life of a Time Lord.
Then, without any conscious thought, Merzet felt himself spin around and then he ran and ran and ran.