AN: This is a Malcolm/Reese oneshot. I do not own these characters, as much as I would love to. This story is rated T for some mild language and thematic content involving non-graphic discussion of sex.

So they dropped the bombshell, and seeing the look on Lois's face, Malcolm immediately regretted agreeing to doing this in a public place. Reese's logic was that it was less likely that their mother would cause a big scene in the middle of an IHOP, but judging by the way the color was draining out of his face, Malcolm suspected that he was having second thoughts, too.

For the first couple of seconds, Lois simply smiled patronizingly, clearly thinking they were trying to cover up some horrible misadventure with a ridiculous story. But after glancing back and forth between them and seeing the genuine nervousness and apprehension on their faces, her thin-lipped smile disappeared in a heartbeat. Her eyes narrowed dangerously, and Malcolm swore he could hear her teeth grinding together as she folded her hands and collected her thoughts. Francis and Piama wore identical dumbfounded expressions, their eyes as wide as saucers, jaws on the floor. Hal just looked as though he needed a drink desperately and was silently furious that they had chosen to eat at a self-proclaimed "family establishment."

Dewey, on the other hand, looked like he was having a blast. Sitting in the corner of the booth next to Reese, he wore a huge, shit-eating grin on his face, and was unsuccessfully trying to hide it by turning his head and covering his mouth. Malcolm had suspected Dewey had known about him and Reese for a while, but nevertheless made a mental note to kick his little brother's ass when they got home for making this more uncomfortable than it already was going to be.

...If they got home, that was. That was sort of up in the air at the moment.

Taking a long, shuddering breath, Lois finally lifted her eyes to glare menacingly at her sons. "Excuse me?" she whispered dangerously, emphasizing every syllable.

Malcolm's throat felt dry and he moved his lips wordlessly. Reese took the initiative and repeated himself. "Malcolm and I are in love, and we've been together for three months." His tone was bold and contained a hint of pride, but his hands were shaking under the table, and Malcolm could tell he was scared shitless.

Hal held out his hand and grabbed a waiter's arm as he walked by their table. "Are you absolutely sure you don't serve any alcohol here?" he asked defeatedly.

"Hal," Lois said warningly, her eyes still focused intently on Reese and Malcolm. Obediently, Hal slumped back in his chair with a sigh, rubbing his forehead tiredly. Taking a few extra seconds to compose herself, Lois straightened up in her seat and took a long swig from her glass of iced tea. "So," she said icily, setting the glass back down, "let's all stay calm...and we will figure this out. Okay?"

Malcolm wanted nothing more than to sink under the table and disappear, but he knew it was his turn to contribute to the conversation. He shook his head adamantly. "There's nothing to figure out." Lois glared daggers at him, but he pushed his fear aside and continued. "This isn't a misunderstanding or a phase, we're not confused, and it's not just screwing around."

Lois's eyes turned into pinwheels.

Fuck. Those last couple of words had been very poorly phrased.

"Do you mean to tell me," she hissed, squeezing her drink as though she wanted to crush it into oblivion, "that you two...have actually...?"

Reese frowned slightly, not getting it. "We've actually...what? What are you talking a-" He cut off, understanding lighting up in his eyes. "Oh." And then he shut up and looked at his lap, but the damage was already done.

Lois was livid; her entire face was red. "Sex?" she spat at them, apoplectic with rage and disbelief. "Sex! What the hell is the matter with you? You're-...you two are-...Damn it, you are brothers! What were you thinking?"

Malcolm joined Reese in hanging his head, his face flush with embarrassment. "Like we said," he mumbled, "we're in love."

He heard Lois squeaking and spluttering in fury, and then felt Reese grab his hand under the table, which made him smile slightly in spite of the situation. He squeezed his brother's hand supportively.

Hal absentmindedly patted Lois's back comfortingly while Dewey just silently laughed his ass off in the corner. Francis, finally snapped out of his state of shock, cleared his throat.

"Umm...okay, not to make this any harder than it already is, but I just...okay, you do realize that this is sort of shocking to all of us, right?" He looked back and forth between them pleadingly, trying his best to look understanding.

Reese nodded, still not looking up. "Yeah," he muttered. "We get that."

"Okay, well..." He looked over to Piama hopefully, who gave him a you've got to be kidding face, then sighed. "Look, guys...this is just really weird and surprising, and...uh, it might take a little while for us to get used to it." At this point, Lois looked up sharply and glared daggers at him. Either ignoring her or not noticing, Francis continued. "But just know that I'm still your big brother, and I love you guys. And it's going to be okay...eventually. Like I said, it'll be a little tricky at first, but still..."

"Get used to it?" Lois snapped, looking at him as though he were demented. "Get used to it? We're not getting used to anything! This is ending right now, do you hear me?" She turned and shook a stern finger at Malcolm and Reese. "Do you hear me, boys?" she repeated, reaching across and lifting Malcolm's chin up with her hand. "This is not going to continue. You are going to stop this right now, and that's going to be the end of it."

Malcolm took a deep breath. They had gotten over the hump, so they might as well go for the gold. "And how do you suggest we do that?" he asked politely, but firmly. "Like you said, we're brothers, so we're still going to be living together. I suppose you could make us sleep in different rooms, but we'd still see each other at school, and there's not much you can do to stop us from hanging out during the day." He shrugged, looking back down at his untouched plate, starting to feel hungry. "Besides, it's not like we do anything in the bedroom anyway. It's not as though we're going to start going at it with Dewey sleeping five feet away."

At this point, Hal, who had been silent for the duration of the meal, made a barely audible groaning sound and buried his face in his hands.

Malcolm ignored this and kept talking, keeping his eyes down and starting to cut into his pancakes. "I suppose you can find ways to keep an eye on us at all times, and maybe you will. But we won't be living in your house forever, and once we're gone, there's nothing you can do to stop us." He finally raised his head to face his mother head on. She still looked mad, but somewhat calmer, and there was a hint of surprise beneath the anger. She even seemed a bit hurt. Reese nudged his foot under the table, probably warning him to tone it down. "I'm not trying to be cruel," Malcolm continued carefully. "We want to respect your wishes, and we're not trying to make your job as our mother any more difficult. But we needed to come clean about how we feel." He took a deep breath. "And that's really the point: how we feel. Even if you separate us for the rest of the time we're living with you, there isn't anything you or Dad, or anybody else, can do to stop us from having these feelings. So all separating us would do is make us resent you...and I don't want that. We don't want that."

The vein in Lois's neck was ticking furiously, but she looked reasonably calmer now. She clasped her hands together and bit her lip; Malcolm could see the wheels spinning in her head. "Boys," she said softly, "I'm not...okay, look...I'm just going to say it: this is a very bad idea. I am truly, sincerely sorry that you feel this way, and I don't want to trivialize your...love for each other. But I have to be honest with you. This is not going to work. It cannot last. Do you understand that?" She looked back and forth between them, stern but sympathetic. "When I was your age, I was in love many, many times, and until I met your father, every single relationship ended in disaster. And I never had to deal with the additional pressure of being gay. I never dated someone who I couldn't move past once everything went to hell."

Malcolm sighed deeply. "Mom..."

"Let me finish. Malcolm, you are not going to throw your life away for a teenage crush. Even and especially if that crush is your own brother. The world is hard enough for people like us without all of that extra baggage. It's not worth it, sweetheart. It really isn't."

Francis snorted dismissively. "Oh please, mother." Piama elbowed him, shaking her head furiously, but he ignored her. "You can't seriously think that you are going to have control over their lives forever! It's their decision and your ridiculous plans for Malcolm's future have are completely irrelevant."

Lois rounded on him, all of her rage surging back. "Don't even start, Francis!" she spat. "This is no time for one of your idiotic rebellions! This is their lives!"

"Exactly!" Francis yelled back. "It's their lives! You don't have a say!"

"Yes I do! I'm their mother! And I'm not going to just stand by and watch them destroy their lives because of hormones!"

"You always do this! You always dismiss your children's feelings and put your own selfish desires over everyone else's..."

Their voices grew louder and louder, and people were finally starting to notice and stare. Malcolm felt Hal tap his foot under the table and looked up. Hal mouthed Let'sgo, and jerked his head toward the exit. Malcolm nodded and nudged Reese, who nudged Dewey. Piama pulled on her sweater and purse, looking immensely relieved. One by one, they slowly slid out of the booth and shuffled toward the door. Francis and Lois were half-standing out of their seats, completely screaming at each other now, totally oblivious to the fact that the rest of the family was fleeing the scene.

The car screeched as Hal sped out of the parking lot. He sighed and wiped his sweaty brow. "Thank God that's over," he muttered.

"How are Mom and Francis going to get home?" Dewey piped up from the back seat.

Reese punched him in the shoulder. "They'll take a taxi or something," he snapped. "Who cares? And thanks for all your help back there, you ass."

"Hey! It's not my fault you two are gay for each other!"

"Shut up!" Hal growled, flinching noticeably. "We are done talking about this." They drove in total silence for a few minutes, everyone avoiding each other's eyes, before Hal sighed and spoke wearily. "Okay, no, we're not done talking about this." He looked at Malcolm in the rearview mirror. "Sons, I just need to know...are you sure this is what you want? I mean, keeping in mind all of the points your mother already brought up, in addition to the strong possibility that your..." - he grimaced - "...relationship...won't last...I'm just saying that kids your age don't tend to stay together forever. And none of them have to deal with all of the extra complications of your situation." He shifted his gaze to Reese. "I know I can't stop you two from...feeling whatever it is you feel, and quite frankly, I'm not going to try and stop you from doing anything either because I don't want you to hate me." He breathed deeply. "But the only thing more difficult than dealing with my sons being romantically involved would be my sons breaking up and hating each other for the rest of their lives."

Malcolm raised his head to look at his father. He leaned forward and squeezed his shoulder. "We've thought about all of that," he said softly. "We've talked through it. I know it's not going to be easy, and Mom's right when she says that this will probably ruin any chance I have of becoming someone important. But we truly do love each other. And we're great together." Hal grimaced again. "I know that's hard to believe right now, but just wait. This is one of the reasons we decided to come clean, other than the fact that Mom would have figured it out eventually anyway. We want you to see that this makes sense...in its own screwed-up, awkward way."

Hal nodded numbly. "Alright, son," he said. "If this is what you want, then I won't stop you. But I can't promise I'll be comfortable with it anytime soon."

Malcolm smiled, leaning back in his seat. "That's fine. We understand that."

He turned to Reese, who looked worn out, but relieved. They grinned at each other and Malcolm grabbed his brother's hand, holding on to it tightly. Hal noticed it in the mirror, but didn't say anything. Piama still looked somewhat in shock, but also oddly touched. Dewey just snorted.

"Get a room, why don't you?"

Reese flicked his ear.

AN: And that's the story. Short, but sweet. I hope you enjoyed it; I had fun writing it.