"Hey Jethro," Tobias says seriously.
Gibbs fights rolling his eyes. Agent Fornell is rarely in a serious mood, and since nothing particularly tragic has happened yet today, he's thinking whatever his - is friend the right word? - whatever Fornell, at any rate, has to say is significantly less earth-shattering than his tone would imply.
Still, though, Fornell is looking over at him with all the drama he can muster, so Gibbs sighs and stops the elevator. He doesn't say anything, just raises his eyebrows and waits for Tobias to continue.
"I'm in love," Fornell blurts, "And I'm going to ask her to marry me." Gibbs' only reaction is a slow blink, which Tobias seems to take as his invitation to say more. "I've been seeing this woman, and she's smart, and she's beautiful, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her." He pauses, but Gibbs still doesn't say anything, so he adds, "Just wanted you to know."
Gibbs nods silently and starts reaching towards the switch to start the elevator again, but something is nagging at him. He can't say why, but something about this whole thing just doesn't feel right, so he decides to take advantage of the Fornell's current situation - trapped alone in an elevator with him, Jethro between Tobias and the control panel - to do what he does best: investigate.
"Tobias, what'd you say your lady's name was?" he asks, though he is one-hundred percent sure that Fornell has never mentioned the name of his soon-to-be finance. Maybe that's what feels so off; Tobias marrying some mystery woman.
Fornell's voice as he answers is so sappy Gibbs can't quite think of a word to describe it, though purring might not be too far off. "Oh, her name's Diane," he explains happily, and Gibbs (imperceptibly, he hopes) freezes for the briefest of moments. Leroy Jethro Gibbs has found himself in many-a difficult situation over the years, but "I Think My Best Almost-Friend Is Going To Propose To My Wife" definitely has him in uncharted waters, so he has to think fast to figure out how to proceed.
"You, uh, got a picture of her?" he asks after a moment. He's trying to reason with himself, Diane's not that uncommon of a name, but really, he knows. Between the distance Diane's had with him lately and that gut feeling he's had since the beginning of this conversation, there's no way it's anybody else. Still, though, "What's her last name?", which Gibbs asked, would have been confrontational and likely ineffective; it's not likely she told her paramour her married name, and if she had, Gibbs feels confident that Tobias is at least a good enough investigator as to have caught on by now - Gibbs is that uncommon of a name.
"Oh, yeah," Tobias grins widely as he pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and produces a photo, eager to show off his girlfriend. Staring down at the tiny photo of his wife Fornell is holding reverently feels like a kick to the stomach. Realizing your wife is having an affair - with someone you know, for God's sake! - is one thing, but seeing concrete evidence is, apparently, quite another. The thing that's got him most rattled, though, might be the fact that Diane had given him a copy of the exact same photo for his own wallet. Without deciding to do so, he reaches out to grab the elevator rail, just as a precaution against his own sudden-onset lightheadedness.
"Yeah, that's Diane, all right," Jethro mutters, and Fornell's head snaps up.
"You know her?" he sounds almost excited, and Gibbs reasons that it would make sense if he was; he'd always liked it when his friends had gotten along with Shannon (as they almost always had.)
Gibbs blinks a few times and takes a deep breath. He's not usually one to beat around the bush, but Fornell seems so honest-to-God happy - eager to tell Jethro he's proposing, delighted to show off a photo of his girl, excited at the idea that she and Gibbs might be friends - that Gibbs isn't exactly chomping at the bit to break the news. It has to be done, though, for everyone's sake, so he finally says, "That's my wife, Tobias."
He watches closely as Fornell's face crumples in confusion. "You were married to her?" he tries to clarify, and Gibbs almost laughs at Tobias' attempt to rationalize. He hadn't said "ex-wife," but of course Fornell wants that to be what he meant.
Gibbs closes his eyes and shakes his head softly. "Still am," he sighs.
Fornell's jaw drops open and he looks back and forth dumbly, as if hoping the elevator walls will provide some sort of magical explanation. "You never said you were married!" he exclaims, and of course this is somehow Gibbs' fault. Everything with her always is.
Gibbs rolls his eyes and holds up his left hand as evidence as he says, "Been wearing a wedding ring the whole time you've known me, Tobias." (Though not for much longer.) Fornell scoffs, and Gibbs adds, "Thought you were s'possed to be an investigator."
"Well, I," Fornell stammers, then drops his head and runs a hand along his thinning hairline. "God, Gibbs, what are we going to do?" he asks quietly, almost hopelessly.
Jethro looks up at him sharply and pulls a face. "We?" he snaps. "I don't know, Tobias! I'm not the one getting ready to propose to a married woman!" With that, he slams the elevator switch down, and the rest of the ride to the lobby is silent save for the hum of the cab moving in its shaft. Gibbs supposes he should count himself lucky that one one else gets on before they reach their destination.
Though they'd both like to get away from each other and from this situation as quickly as possible, the fact that they're both on their way to the parking lot can't be avoided, nor can the fact that of course Fornell parked next to Gibbs when he arrived this afternoon. When they get closer to their cars, they both notice another vehicle pulling in next to Gibbs' truck, on the opposite side of Fornell's space. Unfortunately for everyone, it's a car they both recognize.
"Oh, this just gets better and better," Gibbs mutters. Fornell curses in a very dramatic, very loud stage whisper.
Diane collects her purse, brushes invisible lint off her jacket, fluffs her red curls, and begins walking towards the building without noticing anything unusual. She doesn't exactly frequent NCIS, but it's not her first time surprising Jethro at work, and little things like this are important to keep up appearances, after all. When she steps past the end of her little car and looks up, though, she freezes mid-step, absolutely paralyzed by what she's seeing and with no clue whatsoever about what to do now. She considers running back to her car and pretending this never happened, but since that visit to her doctor a few weeks back, she's only been buying time, anyway, so she just stands stock-still until they reach her.
"Diane!" Leroy greets her first, his tone warmer than it's been to her in weeks, a very dangerous sign; he's not one for playing games unless he is very, very angry. They absolutely know. She can't move as he wraps an arm around her and plants a long, dramatic kiss on the top of her head. "I believe you know my pal Tobias."
While her husband is engaging in this ridiculous show of false affection (To what end?!), her lover is glaring at her so hard that she begins to wonder if maybe looks can kill. If they can, the entire NCIS parking lot is certainly about to find out. If I die on the Navy Yard, will Leroy's team have to investigate? I don't particularly want Dr. Mallard to see me naked.
"Anything you'd like to tell us, Mrs. Gibbs?" Tobias snaps, and since she actually does, as a matter of fact, she decides to just lay all her cards on the table.
"Yes."
Leroy stumbles back in a very un-Gibbsean move while Fornell narrows his eyes in a fish-out-of-water look that is absolutely characteristic. Without making eye contact with either of them, she says matter-of-factly, "I'm pregnant."
Gibbs' jaw drops open, and both Diane and Tobias are sure they've never seen him look so surprised. Fornell, for his part, has got both hands tangled in what's left of his hair, muttering softly. "Whose - whose is it?" he asks softly after a long moment.
He gets his answer in surround sound, from Gibbs on his left and from Diane ahead and to his right: "It's yours."
Tobias blinks in surprise. If they're both so certain with no spousal consultation whatsoever, he's in no position to question them. He tries not to think about how much their surety tells him about Gibbs' sex life, particularly since it's a sex life he now knows has, at some point, included the woman that he was sure was his soulmate until about half an hour ago.
"Where should I send the papers?" Gibbs asks abruptly. Four eyes swivel towards him, so he elaborates, "The divorce papers. You're not staying at my house-" His beautiful house, the house where he and Shannon once built a home, is no place for liars and cheaters - "So where should I send 'em?" Though it's pretty low on the totem pole of concerns at the moment, Gibbs manages to spare an angry thought towards Diane for forcing him to break rule 13: Never involve lawyers.
Diane blinks several times. She'd thought she was pulling off this deception just fine, and though she was beginning to make plans for what would happen when it became obvious she was expecting a child that could not biologically be Leroy's, she doesn't exactly have a place to stay lined up yet.
It's Fornell who finally breaks the silence. "Send them to my place," he says, and both Gibbses raise their eyebrows at him. Ignoring Jethro for the moment, he gives Diane a long look and says, "I am furious at you right now," he says, wanting to make that very, very clear, "But if you're having my child, I'm not going anywhere. You need a place to stay, you got it."
Later, as Gibbs makes the long, quiet, thoughtful drive back to his very empty house, he makes several realizations. Among them, though he's one of the least observant FBI agents he's ever met, Tobias Fornell may be a better man than he'd given him credit for.