A/N: I never thought I'd ever write something like this (let alone post it), but here we are. Also, I still haven't seen Season 5, but I know that Regina has the Dagger at one point, and after finishing Season 4 this idea popped into my head and forced me to write it down.
(Thank you for the disturbed faces, you know who you are. And ralf, you had it coming.)

It had been a long, long, stressful day. Being the Dark One wasn't what it was cracked up to be. At all. All Emma longed for was a moment of peace and quiet. And of course a moment to take care of a very pressing... problem.

She gritted her teeth. Release was just within her grasp, she just needed one more... just... She concentrated and closed her eyes and then suddenly she felt the familiar tightening of her gut because of something entirely different and why did this have to happen right now?

"Emma Swan."

The whisper wrapped around her core, her being, and she felt a pull she simply could not resist. Emma had the presence of mind to magic herself decent in the fracture of a second it took for the summoning to be completed because whatever happened, she would never meet Regina like this.

She pinched the bridge of her nose when the smoke cleared and let out a frustrated growl.
"Really?" She grit out. "Couldn't this have waited two more minutes?"

She started pacing, because she might have looked decent but that didn't mean her body didn't feel wholly... interrupted.
"Well excuse me for disrupting your busy schedule, oh great Dark One," Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes for good measure, clutching the dagger in her right hand. "This is important."

"No!" Emma interrupted, frustrated. "You know what's important? Why can't you just... knock or something? I was... busy!"

"Yes? Doing what?" Regina implored sarcastically, obviously checking if Emma had been up to anything, well dark.

"I may be the Dark One but I've still got needs, damn it!" Emma exploded, because why, just why could she never get a break.

At Regina's uncharacteristic silence Emma came to an abrupt stop, catching Regina's gaze flitting quickly up and down her body and the eyebrow that slowly made its way up her forehead.

"Were you..." Regina trailed off not knowing how to phrase it and not even sure if she really wanted to know.

Emma gasped, mortified. "Oh God." She groaned and stuffed her hands into her back pockets. "It's not... that!"

Regina looked incredulously at her and Emma couldn't- she didn't even know if this made it better or worse but-

"I was... why am I even... I was taking a dump, okay?"