Prologue
Strange findings on solar system edge may be related to Prothean archives
Beijing: 12 May 2050
The strange findings found last December at the edge of the solar system may be related to the data in the Prothean archives, say top scientist Han Chen. "We believe that there is information within the Prothean data beacons that we found on Mars that can explain to us exactly how to use these devices," Chen told a packed room at yesterday's press conference. "Furthermore, we think that these devices can very well be used to solve the 'faster than light' problems we are having with deep-space travel."
The device, which is several hundred miles long and tall with a hole in the middle with two rotating rings, was discovered on 10 December 2049 by Chinese exploration probe Hong Kong. Several countries, including Russia, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and the United States of America have requested examination of this device, but so far China has refused to grant access.
Similarly, China has been very tight-fisted about access to the Prothean data beacons, which were discovered on Mars in August 2031, by a Chinese rover. Whilst not completely decoded, the beacons have already allowed humanity to make several upgrades to their space transport, including the installation of drive-cores which enables space transport to travel at the speed of light for a limited amount of time. They have also given us a glimpse of a people that may have lived on Earth before us.
"The Protheans were a fascinating people," says archaeologist Dr Jonus Grissom, one of the scientists allowed access to the Prothean archives. "They lived in our solar system approximately fifty thousand years ago, and appeared to have been a very advanced race. They were capable of deep-space travel, and seem to have resided on several different planets throughout the galaxy."
But what happened to the Protheans? No one seems to know. "All we know is that they appear to have disappeared approximately fifty thousand years ago," Dr Grissom says. "It's unclear exactly what happened to them. They may have fought a war among each other, or contracted a disease that led to their extinction."
Whatever the case, the Prothean data beacons have gone a long way in advancing humanity. Whilst it may be several years before scientists discover the purpose of the device in space, one thing all scientists agree on: it'll move humanity even further along unlocking the mysteries of deep space.
Chapter one: April to July 2177: Joining up
I was pretty sure that Admiral Brawne was a robot. There was no way that a man who had been in the army for twenty six years could have such smooth skin or such an even hair-line.
"You're Jane Shepard?" Admiral Hackett asked, leaning forward. The vids and the photos had been somewhat kind. They showed a man that, despite being middle-aged, was still lean and fit. In actual fact he was quite short and had a bit of a paunch.
"Yes sir," I said nervously, drying my hands on my jeans.
"When was your sixteenth birthday, girl?" Admiral Greyling asked. He was still a young man and represented the most what the ideal soldier was: tall, rugged and rough.
"Last month, sir," I said. "March twelfth."
"Many congratulations," Admiral Brawne said. Even his voice sounded robotic.
"Thank you, sir," I said.
Admiral Hackett turned on his data pad. "I have Dr Di Angelo's report here," he said. Jeez, how fast did the doctor type? I'd been in his office half an hour ago. "Interesting."
"What does it say?" Admiral Brawne asked.
"See for yourself," Admiral Hackett said, handing him the data pad.
"Yes," Admiral Brawne said, after a pause. "Very interesting." I suppressed the urge to throw something at them.
"So, Jane," Admiral Greyling said. "Your parents are both in the military."
"Yes sir," I said. "My father is a lieutenant for the marines."
"Oh?" Admiral Greyling asked with minor disinterest. "I don't know the name Shepard. What designation is he?"
"N3," I said. "You wouldn't know him." Admiral Greyling was an N7 and would probably not mix with people so low down the ranks. "My mother is the flight lieutenant on the Hugo Grayson. My father serves on that ship. That's where I was born."
"So you're a spacer are you?" Admiral Greyling asked. Spacer was the colloquial term used for children who had grown up on space ships. I nodded.
"Any other family in the military?" Admiral Hackett asked.
"My older brother, John," I said. "He's a private in the navy, only graduated from Obama Academy last month. He gets shipped out in about a month's time. And my aunt, Jennifer Shepard, is also a marine. She serves on the SSV Florence."
"Tell me, Jane," Admiral Hackett said, smiling down at me in a fatherly sort of fashion. "You grew up on a military ship. Do you know how to handle a gun?"
"Yes sir," I said eagerly. "I'm a good shot. I know how to use pistols, rifles and some shot guns."
"Ever shot anyone with these guns?" Admiral Brawne asked.
I blushed. "I-no, sir," I said.
"Good, or else I might have been forced to arrest you," Admiral Hackett laughed. Haha, look at me joking with the top brass of the military. I supressed the urge to roll my eyes.
"If you had to choose, Jane, which corps would you be sent to?" Admiral Brawne asked.
"Special forces, sir," I said at once.
"Looking to follow in your father's footsteps, are you?" Admiral Greyling asked.
"No, sir," I said. I decided to leave it at that. Leave them guessing, that's my motto.
None of the admirals seemed to know what to make of my strange answer. "Very well, Miss Shepard," Admiral Hackett said at last. "You may leave."
I got up and saluted. They returned my salute. "Thank you for your time, Admirals," I said.
"Dismissed," Admiral Brawne said. "We'll be in touch in a couple of weeks."
My family was waiting for me outside. "How did it go?" my twin sister Jean asked. We were almost completely identical, same dark hair and high yellow skin, same bright blue eyes, same handful of freckles on our noses.
I shrugged. "Honestly, I'll be lucky if they send me anywhere," I said.
"Why?" my father asked. He was white, with the same blue eyes as Jean and me. His hair was red and his face was covered in freckles.
"I don't think they liked me very much," I said. "I asked to be sent to the Marines, although I doubt they'll do it."
"Don't be silly Janey," Mom said. "Why wouldn't they?"
"Well, I'm too short for one thing," I said. That was the only way to tell Jean and me apart. She was five foot three I was four foot eleven. Whilst Mom was pregnant with us, something happened to cause Jean to get more nutrition than me, and my growth has been stunted ever since. Kind of symbolic of Jean and my relationship.
"What about the asthma?" Dad asked. "What did they say about that?"
I shrugged again. The secretary with the perfect hair and nails came over. "Jean Shepard, the admirals are ready for you," she said.
Jean got up and straightened her dress. "Well, at least I know Jean won't disappoint me," Dad said as she walked towards the interview room.
I pretended not to hear this, glancing instead over at my younger brother, Jason. As much as I was a disappointment to our father, he was an even greater one. I sometimes wondered if he gave the same disappointed little shake of the head to my brother when he didn't learn to walk at the age of one. What was his reaction when Jason was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was three? To be honest, I couldn't remember a time when Jason hadn't been in a wheelchair. There was one child who wouldn't achieve Dad's life-long ambition.
Dad wasn't done though. "Did you tell them you can speak nine languages?" he asked.
"I can only speak seven fluently, and no," I said.
"Why not?" he demanded.
"I didn't think it was relevant," I said tiredly. "I had already told the shrink that. It would have been in his report. Sir," I added hastily, seeing my father's face.
He growled in frustration. "John, please tell your sister how it's done," he said.
"I told the admirals which languages I speak," John said in his annoyingly superior voice.
"Yeah, and you're a private in the navy, for Christ sake," I said irritably. "Big whoop."
"Is it too much for me to get one of my children into the marines?" Dad asked, looking up at the ceiling.
"Jean will get into the marines," Mom said comfortingly. Sometimes I wished I could get all the love and attention my sister got. At other times I was glad I didn't have to live with the pressure of being perfect all the time.
"Ooooth ike uttth?" Jason mumbled.
"Damn few," I answered. "And they're all dead."
Ash was waiting for us in the dining hall. Ash was my best friend since we were twelve years old, but for some reason she couldn't stand Jean. I asked her once why she hated my sister, since we were pretty much genetically identical. She said, "Janey, your sister is an 'it girl'." We were fourteen at the time.
"What's an 'it girl'?" I asked. I had grown up on a space ship. The only people my age on the ship shared the same parents as me. Conversely, Ash had spent most of her life on the South African colony of Freedom's Progress. I knew all the Alliance protocol, she knew people who weren't soldiers.
"You know," Ash said. "Those perfect, cheerleader girls, the ones with the perfect bodies, the perfect brains, the perfect, well, everything really."
I found this highly ironic coming from Ash. She was tall and leggy with blonde hair and perfectly bronzed skin. She pretty much fitted the bill of an 'it girl'. I later learned that 'it girls' where defined more by attitude than by attribute.
"How did it go?" Ash asked now. I made a non-committal noise. "That bad, huh?" I nodded. "Don't worry, I think mine was pretty shitty too," she said. "Although I think Admiral Greyling eyed me a bit too much. I'm almost certain he had a boner when he stood up to salute me."
"Ash," I said in a shocked tone.
"What, Jane?" Ash asked innocently. "I can't help it if I'm hot, can I?"
"No, but, well, never mind," I spluttered.
"Listen, if you want to feel better, you can come with Pedro and me to watch Blasto: the rise of the jellyfish agent," Ash said. Pedro was her secret boyfriend. He was a private on the Hugo Grayson, the ship we lived on. "It's about a hanar Spectre."
"I know what it's about," I sighed. Hanar were a strange alien species that came from the planet Kahje. The closely resembled giant pink jellyfish and were probably the most polite species in the entire galaxy. For some reason they didn't like humans much, probably because we kept calling them big stupid jellyfish.
"Yeah, well it's bound to be fun," Ash said. She put on a passable hanar accent. "This one is proud to be serving the Council," she said.
"Ash," Jean said, coming up to us.
"Ah, my favourite Shepard," Ash said, smiling widely. "How did it go for you today?"
"Really well," Jean said, smiling even more widely. "I'm confident about my chances. At least I won't be made a para."
"Who said anything about paratroopers?" I asked in confusion. "I'll probably be made navy or something, like John." Jean hesitated. "Wait, did Dad say I'll be made a paratrooper because I didn't say anything about the fact that I can speak all the Council languages?"
"Not exactly," Jean said in a small voice.
"God almighty, nothing like a bit of belief in your abilities," I grumbled. "Ash, thanks for the offer, but I need to pack my things. We leave at dawn tomorrow."
"No worries," Ash said. She linked arms with me. "See ya later, Jean," she said over her shoulder at my sister.
"Why is my father such a jerk?" I asked. "I swear, he would be happier if my mom had given birth to a fully formed infantry."
"Well, at least your father pays attention to you," Ash said soberly. Her father was the commanding officer on the Hugo Grayson. She had come to live with him after her mother's death when she was twelve. He pretty much left her to her own devices. She had applied at the military academies more to get his attention than for any real desire for a military life.
"Where did you ask to be sent?" I asked.
"Marines of course," Ash said. "If I got in he might actually notice me. If not, well, I wouldn't have lost much." She sighed heavily. "I think tonight's the night with Pedro."
"You've been saying that for the last two weeks," I said.
"Yeah, but this time I mean it," Ash laughed. "Come on, let's go choose my outfit."
After Ash left with Pedro for the movie house I had a shower. One of the many things I found strange about shore leave was the amount of elbow room you had. On a ship filled with engineers, marines and naval crew members, there was never enough space to go around.
Back in the old days, before we knew there was other life in the galaxy, the human population had been spread all around Earth. There were six continents: Africa, North America, South America, Europe, Asia and Oceania. Then the mass relays were discovered in 2050. It took the scientists six years to work out exactly how the mass relays worked, with the help of the Mars Prothean beacons. The first place they managed to travel to was Tribean, the turian home system (turians were colloquially referred to as birds, owing to their particularly beaky faces. They have hard grey skin that formed plates on their faces and across their bodies, and had interesting head tufts that look almost like feathers).
The turians declared war on the humans (this was now in 2056), then China and America declared war on each other in 2077 over some stupid colony that now belonged to the volus. Soon Earth was in a full scale nuclear war. By the end, only three cities on Earth were habitable: Cape Town in South Africa, London in England, and Seattle, in America. Seattle was now the capital of Earth. My home world was so small these days, it was strange for me to think my entire species once lived here.
After my shower I got into bed with my data pad, and found my place in the book I'd been reading. A few minutes later Jean came in. "Whatcha up to, Janey?" she asked.
"Reading a book called the Shadows of the Wind," I said. "It's set in this city called Barcelona, in Spain."
"Where's that?" Jean asked, sitting on the bed and taking her boots off.
"Europe," I said. "You know, London."
"Oh yeah," Jean said. "When did this book come out?"
"2004," I said. "Ancient history really. It's set in the nineteen forties."
"Shit," Jean said. "That's what, two hundred and fifty odd years ago."
"Yeah," I said. I turned my data pad off and sat up. "Jean, did Dad really say I can only make paratroopers?"
"Come off it, Jane," Jean complained. "The man's off his rocker. He's trying to breed the perfect soldier or something. Of course he isn't gonna be happy with the way you turn out. You can try all you want."
"Easy for you to say when you're the favourite child," I snapped, getting irritable. "Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to hear: 'Don't worry, Jean will get it right' every second of my life?"
"Do you have any idea what it's like for me?" she snapped back. "Sure I'm the favourite child, but that means that I have ten times the expectation riding on me. I have to make sure that I'm always perfect, that I always come first in the competitions, that I always hit the bull's eye on the target. You and Jason, you're already disappointments, if you screw up it doesn't matter so much." She sighed. "If you didn't have to be a soldier, if Dad didn't force you to join up, what would you be?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"If you had the choice of what to do with your life, what would you choose to do?"
"We don't have the choice," I said irritably. Talking about this kind of thing was annoying and pointless in my opinion.
"I'd be a comedian," Jean said dreamily.
"Get out," I said, laughing.
"I'm serious," Jean said. "You know how I can do that impression of Chief Engineer Hadrian? I can do others as well. I can do Dad, I can even do a passable Hackett now that I've finally met the man."
"I mentioned that Dad is a marine," I said. "He'd never even heard of him."
"Not surprising," Jean said. She put on a British accent. "The great H'admiral Hackett would not mix with those that train their children to use guns at the age of five."
I laughed. "A dancer," I said.
"Beg pardon?" Jean asked, flinging herself back onto her bed.
"If I could choose what I want to be, I'd be a ballet dancer," I said.
Jean propped herself up on one elbow. "Oh Jane," she sighed. "Everyone knows you can't dance."
"How was Blasto?" I asked Ash the next morning as we loaded our baggage onto the Grayson.
"Hilarious, but in a way that it is totally not meant to be," Ash answered, chucking her suitcase into the back of the cargo hold.
"Careful there Miss Williams," one of the engineers said. "We have big bombs loaded in the cargo hold."
"Really?" Ash asked keenly.
"Of course not," I said. "He's having a go at you. Bombs are kept in the weapons bay, same as always. Tell me about Blasto."
"Well, there's the obvious point of how the hell could a hanar even make it as a Spectre," Ash said. "They're, like, giant jellyfish…things, which begs the question: how do they hold a gun?"
"They have aids," I said. "Usually drell, since the drell owe them a debt. Go on." Drell were a species with sort of humanoid features, apart from their eyes, which were alarmingly similar to frog eyes. They were a sort of yellowish-green colour and stood at approximately five foot tall. Two hundred years ago their home planet Rakhana was in the process of being destroyed by a nuclear war, not unlike the war that had destroyed Earth. The hanar had rescued a couple of hundred thousand drell in their star ships and taken them to live on Kahje. Hence the debt.
"Oh ja, I was wondering why there was a drell following Blasto around the whole time," Ash said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, the dialogue's hilarious. Things like: 'this one politely requests that the criminal scum puts his hands up. This gun is loaded.' Then there's the elcor side-kick."
"There's an elcor in Blasto?" I asked. In my opinion elcor were the best species in the galaxy. The best way to picture an elcor was to think of a seal, then give it four legs, grow it until it is six and a half foot high and had elephant ears. Elcor were native to the planet Dekuuna, and were rarely found off of it. They had a strange monotonous speech and it was impossible for an elcor to lie, owing to the fact that they put adverbs similar to stage direction in front of each sentence.
"Yeah," Ash said. She put on a melancholy elcor voice. "'Badassidly: damn you, Blasto, I haven't paid my car insurance yet.'"
I laughed. "Badassidly?" I asked.
"Yeah," Ash said. "Guess they invented a whole new adverb for this movie."
We made our why to our take off positions in the engineering bay. Ash's was normally upstairs in the CIC with her father, but she had traded this position with her father's communications officer, more in revenge against her father than any real wish to be in the engineering bay.
"Guess who is now a woman," Ash whispered as we did our seat buckles up.
"You and Pedro score, did you?" I whispered back.
"Oh boy, did we ever," Ash whispered.
"What was it like?"
Ash's face fell a fraction. "I-alright I guess," she said unconvinced.
"The moment of truth in every teenage girl's life and all you can say is 'alright, I guess'?" I asked incredulously. "Was he any good at least?"
"I suppose so," Ash answered, fidgeting with the strap of her safety harness.
"For God's sake, Ash," I groaned, rolling my eyes. "If you hated every second of it, just say so. Did it hurt?"
"Yes, but…that's not it," Ash said. I raised my eyebrows. "Well, alright. I had this moment, just as he was about to…you know, that I'm about to lose something that I'll never get back. Just for a second I wanted him to stop."
"Why?" I asked.
Ash sighed. "Because I wasn't sure if he was the one I wanted to lose it to," she said at last.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the Hugo Grayson," Mom said pleasantly over the intercom. "Welcome aboard once more. We are headed for the Citadel. It is a four week journey across the galaxy. I will warn you on approach of mass relays. Please fasten your safety harnesses, we are about to take off."
I personally hated take-off, even though a lot of people said they found it exhilarating. The changes in cabin pressure were what bothered me during the take-off and I always felt like they made my lungs slightly too full. I bent over and put my head between my legs as the ship's thrusters engaged and she took off.
"Ladies and gentlemen, that was a successful take off," my mother said a few minutes later, ever the joker. "You may now unfasten your safety harnesses and leave your seats. Have a pleasant journey."
"I hate it here," Jean mumbled gloomily, staring out of our hotel window.
To be fair, the Citadel was a master of construction. Built in the Widow system by the long-extinct protheans, the Citadel had really stood the test of time. After all, the protheans had gone extinct fifty thousand years ago, way before the first human had climbed out of his cave. Now, it was home to the Council and the Spectre offices, and was considered the capital of the galaxy. It was the only area where members of all species lived together in relative peace and harmony.
"Quit complaining," I mumbled. "You're giving me a headache." Or, more accurately: "Qwit cobplainig," I mumbled. "You gibig be a headache."
I had a cold. Not just any cold, a fully-fledged, taps dripping, here-comes-the-green-slimy-goo cold. Because of this, I was confined in bed to ensure that I didn't spread the cold across to other species, who might not be able to handle it as well as I was (not that I was actually handling it well at all), and to ensure that it did not develop into pneumonia (my lungs had a long and unfortunate history of disappointing me).
"We ship out tomorrow," Jean said, turning back to me. "You coming with?"
The Hugo Grayson's presence had been requested by the turians against some krogan rebels in their system. Commander Pieterse, Ash's dad, had assured everyone that it would just be routine and that they would return to the Citadel as soon as they were done.
"No," I groaned. "I'm going to stay here, and maybe see about dying."
"John's coming with," Jean continued. "We're dropping him off on the Kilimanjaro, which is patrolling the Artimus Tau cluster."
"He's been posted to the Artimus Tau cluster?" I asked in amazement. "That's terrible. Poor John." The Artimus Tau cluster was home to the human colony of Tiptree, which was where my paternal grandparents lived. He'd be forced to visit them frequently now, which was a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
"Well, at least he'll always have a place to stay now," Jean shrugged.
"Yeah, if I had to choose between staying with Grandma and Grandpa and staying on the streets, I'd choose the streets," I mumbled.
There was a knock on the door and Ash poked her head through. "Hey Jane, you feeling better?" she asked. I shook my head. "Well, the good news is that I just asked my dad if I can stay here whilst they go and blow up some krogan, so I'm taking you shopping."
"Jane's sick," Jean protested.
"She has a cold," Ash answered lightly. "She'll be on her feet in no time."
"She needs rest," Jean insisted.
"You lot will be gone a month, right?" Ash asked. "She isn't going to be sick the entire month, is she?" She rolled her eyes. "You aren't her mom, Jean."
"Stop it," Jason said from the corner. "Can't you two not fight for just one day?"
"Sorry, Jason," Jean said at once, turning to him. "Didn't mean to upset you."
"I'm not upset," Jason said. "I'm just…oh what's the use? You two could be friends."
"Sorry, kid, that ain't happening," Ash mumbled. Jean glared at her. "But I see your point," Ash added hastily.
Jason is probably the only person in the family that could get away with bossing everyone around. Perhaps it was because of his disability, perhaps it was because he was the baby in the family. He was always the peacemaker. The only person he couldn't keep in check was our father. But then, our father was convinced that Jason was never his child in the first place.
"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Mom asked for what felt like the fifty millionth time.
"Mom," I groaned. "I'll be fine. Jina will be looking after me." Jina was an asari (a beautiful, haemphroditis blue species that looked alarmingly like human females) that hired her services out. As a baby sitter that is.
"Maybe I should stay behind," Mom said, fussing with her handbag.
"Really, Mom," I said. "They need someone to fly the ship for them, don't they?"
"I suppose so," Mom said. "Promise me you'll be alright."
"Jin," Dad said, putting his hand on Mom's shoulder. "Jane's tough. She'll survive four weeks without us."
"Don't fuss, Mom," I added for good measure. "I'll take my meds and everything. Ash'll be here. We'll watch T.V and stuff. We'll be fine."
"Alright, my love," Mom said. She bent down and kissed my forehead. "I love you."
"Yeah, you too," I said. "Be safe and kick those krogan into next Tuesday."
Dad squeezed my hand. "Your acceptance letters should arrive soon," he said.
"Probably only after y'all get back," I said. "There's a future in the paras. I saw on the news this morning."
"Don't be cheeky with me, girl," Dad said, frowning.
"No sir," I said. I turned to John. "Next time I see you, you'll be in a uniform," I said to him. "I mean one that isn't your training uniform."
"Funny, titch," John said. "Take care of Mom and Dad, you hear?"
"Please, Jean can take care of them," I said, grinning. "Or they can take care of themselves. Either way, I am the second youngest child and it's not my responsibility."
"We'd better go," Jean said. "The ship leaves in an hour."
"They won't leave without Mom, will they?" Jason asked in mock horror.
"Oh, someone's getting a smart mouth too," John said, clapping Jason on the shoulder. "We'll have to watch this one, Mom."
Mom bent and kissed Jason. "Goodbye sis," Jean said, hugging me. "See you soon."
"Yeah," I said. "See you."
I was back on my feet within a week, pneumonialess, and I spent the remaining time watching TV and going to the movies to watch Blasto with Ash, and practicing my shooting at the fire arm range. On the day before the ship was due back Ash woke me up early in the morning.
"Rise and shine, precious," she said, pulling the covers from me.
"Ash, it's-," I squinted at my clock. "Seven o'clock sol in the morning."
"Quit complaining, woman," Ash said. "The day is young and we are going shopping."
"I don't see the point," I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. "We're getting back on the ship tomorrow, where absolutely no one will be wowed by my tiny frame, and then we're going to whatever training academy we're going to where we have to wear a uniform for the duration of our stay."
"You lack spontaneity and are a total drag, Jane Shepard," Ash said. "Do something because it's fun rather than because it's sensible."
"I don't have credits," I said in a last ditch attempt.
"Dad paid in a bunch of credits for me as conscience money," Ash said. "Let's blow it on hot clothes."
"Fine," I sighed. "Hot clothes are wasted on me though. I look like I'm twelve."
"Actually you look like you're ten, but that's only because you fail to resource your assets," Ash said. "Get dressed."
"What assets?" I asked, getting up and chucking my standard wear of big T-shirts and baggy jeans onto my bed.
"Well, you have a very flat tummy, which most women would kill for, believe me," Ash said. "You also have fantastic legs. Your skin tone and eyes are amazing. All of these could get you a boyfriend."
"Don't want a boyfriend," I muttered, pulling my pyjamas off.
"Don't be stupid, most girls are straight at some point in their lives," Ash said. "Jina says breakfast is almost ready. I already asked Jason and he said something about staying behind to update some log or the other, I forget which."
Living on a military ship, where everybody wore uniforms, I hadn't really been too bothered with my appearance as a child. Naturally as a preteen and a teen I was curious about what other girls wore and had gone through a stage where I wanted to wear girly, fashionable clothes. That is, until I realised my skinny legs looked ridiculous in skirts and my flat chest and thin arms were pathetic in tight-fitting t-shirts. Since then, I had pretty much relegated myself to baggy clothes that swamped my body, my hair in a constant ponytail. At least in clothing that wasn't form-fitting no one would realise that I had no bust, ass or anything else that was considered sexy.
The first shop we went to sold dresses, mostly designed for asari, but some that could be worn by humans too. Ash tried to persuade me to try on an electric blue dress. I shook my head no, so she found one in her size and went into the changing room. I leaned against an advertisement board.
"Jane Shepard," the advert said conversationally. "You are sixteen and not yet enrolled at an academy. Have you thought of becoming a journalist? You have all the necessary pre-requisites: multilingualism, sass, a sexy body, and skills in sarcasm. Enrol now at the Alliance Journalism Academy on Terra Nova, extranet site: aja. net. You won't regret it." I ignored it. I'd make a terrible journalist.
Ash came out of the changing room. "Yeah?" she asked, twirling.
"Yeah," I answered.
"I don't know," Ash sighed, wringing her hands. "My legs might be too long." She deliberated for a couple of minutes whilst I contemplated how it was possible to have legs that were too long. "Nah," she said. "Let's move on."
We wandered around the Citadel shops for a few more hours. "Ash, I'm tired and bored," I said. "Can we go home now please?"
"One more shop, Jane," Ash answered. She had already bought herself two new outfits. "You need to get something too."
"I don't want to," I said tiredly.
"Jane Tina Shepard, you are getting a new outfit or I will punch you in the face," Ash said dangerously. "You're sixteen. It's about time you started feeling good about your body."
"Please," I said. "Most sixteen year olds don't feel good about themselves. It's part of being sixteen." But I followed her into the shop, scowling and tapping my foot as Ash rifled through the shelves.
"Here," she said, coming over. She held out a denim skirt that was so short it needed to come with a warning sign.
"Come off it," I said, laughing.
"I'm serious," Ash said. "You need to show off your assets."
"The only thing that'll be showing in that skirt is my ass," I said.
"Yeah, well, it comes with this," Ash continued, giving me a red, belly baring tank top. "Try these on whilst I find some shoes."
I rolled my eyes, but went into the changing room. Without my clothes on, my body was even more depressing. My shoulder blades stuck out from my back, my ribs showed through my skin, my hips poked their way from below my belly and my chest was as flat as a four year olds'. I put the clothes Ash had given me, careful not to look at myself in the mirror, then went back outside.
Ash wolf-whistled. "Now that's what I'm talking about," she crowed. "You look great, Jane. I'm totally buying that for you."
She wouldn't rest until she had found a pair of red heals to go with the outfit. "You should wear these in front of your dad," she laughed as we left the store for the barracks.
"Yeah, and get sent to a nunnery," I said. "Catholics don't dress like that."
Inside our quarters in the barracks the table was laid for dinner. "We're back," Ash called. Jina came into the room. "You should see the outfit Jane got, Jina," Ash said in Protha, the common galactic language. "She looks super-hot."
Jina didn't crack a smile. I noticed her normally dark blue face was pale. "What is it?" I asked softly.
Jason wheeled himself into the room. He had been crying. "What is it?" I asked more urgently.
"I'm so sorry," Jina whispered.
"Sorry about what?" I asked, although I knew in my heart of hearts what was coming next.
"General Montry just came by," Jina said. "The Hugo Grayson was shot out of the sky last week."
To this day, I don't remember most of the funeral. I remember the week-long journey to Arcturus Station, a space-station that served as the Alliance Military base in the Arcturus Stream. I remember spending a lot of time on the observation deck, looking out of the stars. I remember meeting with a social worker by the name of Connie Braune, and my grandparents to discuss Jason's future.
"Jane is sixteen and is due to start studying in August," Connie said. "She is legally an adult and therefore able to care for herself. It's Jason I'm worried about. He is thirteen, and will most likely always need someone to look after him."
"What are you studying, Janey?" Grandma asked.
I shrugged. "I applied at the military academies," I said indifferently. "I haven't heard back yet."
"But why would you want to go to the military academies?" Grandpa asked. "You could be so much more than that."
"Actually I can't," I said. "I don't even have a first grade. Dad took me out of the school systems when I was six. It's either the military or manual labour, and I don't have the right body type for that."
"You must have faith in the good lord to look after you, my dear," Grandpa said.
"Yeah, sure I have faith in the good lord," I said. "I also need to look after myself though."
"Anyway, it's not Jane's future I'm worried about, but Jason's," Connie said. "We would prefer to place him with relatives."
It took a while for this to sink in. "What, us?" Grandpa asked.
"Sorry, Ms Braune, but Jason is a special needs child," Grandma said. "We're both too old to take that sort of responsibility on. Not to mention his manners."
"He's your grandchild, Mrs Shepard," Connie pointed out mildly.
"Yes, but well," Grandma spluttered. "Surely there's somewhere else you can send him?"
"We're trying to get hold of his maternal grandparents, but so far we're having little success," Connie said.
"They wouldn't take him," I said. "We've never met Mom's parents. They don't approve of us."
"Why ever not?" Grandma asked.
"Because we're American, Catholic and raised on a war ship, I guess," I shrugged.
"Do you have any other relatives that Jason could live with, Jane?" Connie asked.
"My Aunt Jennifer, I suppose, but she serves on war ship as well," I said. "It's unlikely that the Joint Military Council would approve it."
"Jennifer's not taking Jason on," Grandpa said firmly. "She can barely take care of herself."
"Well, then I suppose I'll have to look into children's homes," Connie said after a long silence. "There are a number of orphanages for the children of veterans around the galaxy that I can look at."
"Thank you," Grandma said, relieved. "We would take him on ourselves, it's just-,"
"Yeah, you just don't like us much," I said.
I remember the caskets. The memorial services for the entire Hugo Grayson crew happened at the same time. One hundred caskets, each draped with the Alliance flag, lined up in the main hall on Arcturus. John, Jean and my parents were grouped together. None of the caskets were opened, and I didn't want to think of what the bodies had looked like to warrant this.
Ash didn't come to the funeral. She refused to get out of bed, saying that she had already been to one parent's funeral, she didn't want to go to another. Jason sat in the front row, next to my grandparents, his face screwed up as he tried to be the big boy they wanted him to be.
Our family was the only one that had served on the ship that had been religious, and I had been asked to do a Bible reading as part of the service. In the end I read my father's favourite verse, taken from the gospel of Luke: 'And it was about the sixth hour and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. And sun was darkened and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.
'Now, when the centurion saw what was done, he glorified God, saying Certainly, this was a righteous man.'
In the end Connie found a children's home on the Citadel to send Jason. It was a small home, run by asari, with perhaps thirty children living on it. Whilst about eighty per cent of the children living there were humans, there were a few turians and asari living there too. As Ash and I were due to start in the academies in about a month's time, we went with him.
I checked my emails daily on the home's terminal, although I had no idea what I was looking for. I never got anything of substance. However, in the middle of July, there was an email waiting for me.
"Dear Miss Shepard," it read. "May I be the first to congratulate you on your acceptance into the Alliance army's Special Forces. You will be training at Del Sol Academy in Rio De Janero. You are expected to arrive at the academy on August, 30 2177, at 0900 hours. Yours sincerely, Peter Greyling, Admiral, Special Operations class 7."
"Sweet Jesus," I muttered. "Ash," I yelled over my shoulder.
"Jane, please, no shouting," Mari, one of the house mothers, said, coming over. "The turian children are trying to sleep."
Owing to differences in circadian rhythms, we all had different bed times. Turians only had to sleep every two days, whilst asari only had to sleep every ten days. "Sorry," I mumbled. "Look at this."
Mari frowned as she read over my shoulder. "Del Sol Academy?" she asked. She was one of the few aliens that could speak English, but even so, her accent was terrible. It came out sounding a bit like 'Dela Soli Acdehmee'.
"It's the human marines academy," I said. "I joined up in April, but I didn't think I would make it into Del Sol."
Ash walked into the room. "Tera said you were calling me," she said. "What's up?"
"I got into Del Sol," I said.
Ash's eyes widened. "The acceptance letters are out?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said. "Look to see if you've gotten one."
Ash hesitated. "I don't know if I want to go anymore, Jane," she said softly. "I mean, our fathers are…gone. We don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore."
She was right of course. It was my father who had wanted me to become a soldier. In his death he had given me free will. Except…
I sighed. "Ash, I don't know how to be anything else," I said, looking down at my nail-bitten hands. "The only thing I've ever been taught is how to be a soldier. I mean, what could I be now?"
"Shit, I don't know," Ash said.
"Language, Ashley," Mari said reprovingly.
"I wanted to be an artist when I was a kid," Ash continued. "I could go to an art academy if I wanted to now."
"Ash, I was taught how to use a gun when I was five," I said. "I was told when I was two that I would become a marine. I don't know how to dream, how to want to be anything else."
"Try," Ash insisted. "Please try for me."
I looked at the terminal screen. The life of a soldier was hard, I knew this because I had grown up, surrounded by them. Marines had very low life expectancy. The burnout rate was high. You'd probably end up either certified clinically insane or killed in a very gruesome manner.
"I have to do this," I said at last. "I have to go to the academy. I have to become a marine."
"Why?" Ash asked.
"Ash, I don't have any schooling," I said. "I don't have many options."
"Is that all?" she asked. "Are you sure that there isn't any other reason?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.
"Jane, your father was an asshole who made sure you knew there was only one way to earn his love," she began.
"Ash, shut up," I snapped. "You can do whatever the hell you want with your life, live whatever picture you have in your head, but I'm going to Del Sol."
Ash sighed. "Then I'm coming with you," she said.
"That's sweet, Ash, but you'd need to be accepted into Del Sol," I said.
"I was," Ash said. "I got the letter this morning."
"Then why…?" I asked.
"The army loves to have soldiers that are cold-hearted killing machines, that shoot first and ask questions later," Ash said. "You're not that kind of person. Not yet. I'm going with you to make sure that you never become that person."
"Why should you care?" I asked. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you're my best friend and all, but protecting my integrity shouldn't be your concern."
"You're all I have left, Jane," Ash said, taking my hand. "I lost my mother when I was twelve. I lost my father and my boyfriend to the krogan. I'll be damned if I lose you to the Alliance army." She turned to Mari. "We need a flight to Earth as soon as possible, Mari," she said.
Mari nodded. "I'll look into it," she said.
"We'd better pack," Ash said to me.
My roommate was busy playing some computer game with a quarian whose fleet was on the other side of the galaxy. Quarians were kind of like space nomads. They'd been driven from Rannoch, their homeworld, four hundred years ago, owing to the fact that their computer systems, that they gave free will to, rebelled against them. Since then, the fate of the quarian had been held up to the rest of the galaxy as a warning against giving machines sapient intelligence.
"What's up, Lee?" I mumbled, pulling my duffel out from under my bed.
"Not much," Lee answered. "Come on, Hana, that's cheating."
"It is not cheating, Lee nar Citadel," the quarian's voice said. "That is using the resources of the space world."
"Oh, well, excuse me then," Lee said. She watched me pull my clothes from our shared cupboard. "Finally decided to hell with this place, I'm running away, Jane?"
"What?" Hanna asked. "I don't speak English, remember?"
"Speaking to my roommate, Hanna, don't worry about it," Lee answered in Protha. "So where you off to?"
"I've been called up," I said. "I'm leaving for Earth soon."
"Ooh," Lee said. "Which academy are you going to?"
"Del Sol," I answered.
Lee's eyes grew round. "Come on, Jane, you're having me on," she said.
I shook my head. Lee had been here ever since she had been a baby and could not imagine any world outside of the Citadel.
"Where are you headed when you turn sixteen?" I asked.
"Engineering academy, with any luck," Lee said. "I enjoy building things."
"Shay," a voice called from outside the bedroom. I opened the door for Jason.
"What's going on?" he demanded thickly, his head jerking. When he was angry or anxious, Jason tended to struggle to speak and what he said usually sounded even more garbled.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Why are you leaving?" he said loudly. I had to concentrate to make out what he was saying.
"Yeah, I've been accepted into Del Sol," I said. "I have to be there by the end of August, so I'll be leaving the Citadel soon."
"This is bullshit, Shay," he nearly shouted. He shouted something unintelligible.
"I can't understand what you're saying, Jason, calm down," I said calmly.
He took a deep breath. "You can't leave me," he said more softly.
"I'm not leaving you," I said. "Look the truth is, I'd be going soon in any case, whether I was joining the army or going to an academy for weapons manufacturing. I'm sixteen now."
"Yes, but you can't go to them," Jason said, almost pleadingly. "They'll bleed you dry, turn you into the same nutter that Dad was."
"I have to go, Jason," I said. He turned his head away from me. "No, listen to me please, little brother. I want to do this. I must do it for Dad and Jean, but mostly I must do this for myself."
"You don't need to prove anything anymore, Jane," Jason said stubbornly. Why was everyone telling me this?
"I do," I said. "The truth is, you were the lucky one out of all of us. You can choose to be anything. Me, I have only been given one option, and it's the one I want to take."
"Fine," Jason snapped. "Have fun. Write me a postcard. You know the stories about Del Sol."
"Yeah," I said. "I know them. I swear on the bible that I'll come back and look after you."
"Fuck that," Jason said. "Become a marine, and I'll probably be the one to look after you."
I laughed. "Probably," I said. "Will you do me a favour and look after Marvin for me?" Marvin was my pet hamster.
"Yeah, alright," Jason answered.
Ash came in. "Lee-Anne," she said to Lee.
"Ashley," Lee answered. "You also shipping out?"
"Yeah," Ash said. She turned to me. "Mari came to me. There's a starship leaving for Earth tomorrow at noon sol. She's booked two beds on it."
"Alright," I said. Jason scowled. "I'll come back here over my leave," I promised him.
"No you won't," Jason answered. "You get one week over Christmas and four in August if you're at Del Sol. You won't have time to fly to the Citadel."
"Then you'll come to Earth," I said. "We'll go to Seattle. No, wait, even better, we'll go to Cape Town."
"You can't afford it," Jason said, but he seemed mollified.
"Hey, if I say it will happen, it'll happen," I said. I kissed the top of his head. "I'll miss you too," I said. "I'll say goodbye before I leave."
He nodded and wheeled himself out of the room.
"Jane, in a month's time we are going to be at the strictest, harshest training academy in the galaxy," Ash said to me.
"Yeah, I know it," I said.
"Therefore, I feel it is our duty to the Alliance to go out tonight and get us drunk as possible," Ash continued.
Ordinarily I would have said no. That day I said, "Yeah, alright. Why the fuck not?"
I ended up wearing the outfit we'd bought the day we had heard of our parents' deaths. Ash did my hair and make-up, and for once I didn't care about the fact that I looked like a twelve year old boy in drag.
"You look beautiful, Janey," Ash said, applying the final touch of lipstick to my lips.
"Thanks," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. She really did look beautiful, in her short, tight red dress.
"You ready?" she asked, standing back and admiring her handiwork. I nodded. "Then let's go."
The club we were going to was on the rich side of the Citadel, near the Presidium. To get in, you needed a membership card, but Ash insisted that she would be able to use charm to get us entrance. The club was very popular among the elite though, and we stood for close to two hours before getting to the front.
"This place had better be good," I mumbled to Ash.
"It is," Ash answered. "Pedro took me sometime last year."
The elcor bouncer turned to us. "Menacingly," he (I think it was a he anyway. It was hard to tell with elcor) said. "Membership cards please."
Ash gave a false gasp. "Shoot, I knew we'd forgotten something, Jane," she said to me.
"Um yeah," I said unconvincingly. "Totally."
"Tiredly," the elcor said, not changing his tone. "I don't have time for this crap. If you don't have a membership card, you can't come in. Sternly, besides this one looks underage."
"No, she's sixteen like me," Ash said. "You can check her ID bracelet."
"Disinterestedly," the bouncer said. "The fact remains, no membership card, no entrance. Commandingly, next please."
"No, wait," Ash said. "Look, what's two girls? Please let us in."
"Disinterestedly, but with feigned politeness, not gonna happen, lady," the elcor said. "Commandingly, next please."
"Excuse me," one of the men behind us said. "They're with us."
"Disbelievingly," the elcor said. "Membership cards please."
The man grinned and held out his card. He was quite good looking, with blonde hair and ice blue eyes. "Politely, welcome Mr Johnson," the elcor said. He examined Mr Johnson's companion's card. "And Mr Turner." Mr Turner nodded politely. He was slightly shorter than his friend and had brown hair and dark skin. Both were dressed in the uniforms of Biotics Division.
"Apologetically, I had no idea that these women were with you," the elcor said. "Apologetically, please accept my humble apologies. Welcomingly, enjoy Purgatory."
"Thank you, Mr Johnson," Ash said as we walked into the club.
"It was my pleasure to rescue two damsels in distress," Mr Johnson said. "The name's Luke Johnson. This is my mate, Jem Turner."
"I'm Ashley Williams," Ash said.
"Jane Shepard," I muttered.
"Are you sure you're sixteen?" Jem asked, smiling at me, a dimple poking out of his left cheek.
"Yeah," I said. "Have a look."
I held my right arm with my ID bracelet on it out. "Hm," Jem said, taking my wrist in his hand and turning the bracelet upwards. "Jane Tina Shepard, Human, DOB March, 12, 2161, POB Hugo Grayson. Where's Hugo Grayson?"
"Nowhere at the moment," I said.
"It was a spaceship," Ash explained.
"Oh, you're spacers?" Luke asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"No," Ash said at the same time.
"I am," I explained. "Lived on spaceships and space stations all my life."
"I was born on Freedom's Progress," Ash said. "I'm a colony kid."
"I thought that was a South African accent," Luke said. "So, since we now saved your lives, shall we buy you drinks too?"
"Yeah," Ash said. "Two cosmos, if they have." She waited until they had moved to the bar before saying, "Oh my God, they're so hot!"
"I guess," I said. "Saved our lives is slightly excessive. It's not as if this place is too great."
"Come on, do you think Luke is into me?" Ash asked.
I raised my eyebrows. "Ash, your boyfriend died a month ago," I said. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"I'm not here for a boyfriend," Ash said, flipping her hair. "I'm here for a lay, because the next two years are gonna be spent being verbally abused by some asshole officer who's trying to break me down to build me up."
"If you say so," I mumbled.
"Listen, Jane," Ash said, grabbing my wrist. "I'll look after you, 'kay?"
"I can look after myself Ash," I said. "I might not look it, but I'm pure muscle."
"What's pure muscle?" Luke asked from behind us.
Ash turned, a wide smile pasted on her face. "You are, of course," she said, sliding over in the booth to make space for him. Oh gag. I was a terrible girl most of the time.
I slid closer to Ash and Jem sat down next to me. "So, you're sixteen now, right?" he asked, handing me a pink drink in a tall glass.
"Yeah," I said, taking a sip. I expected a gross taste, but it was actually pleasantly sweet.
"What are you planning on specialising in?" Jem asked.
"Funny you should ask that," Ash interjected. "Jane and I are in fact headed back to Earth to attend Del Sol Academy."
"Get out," Luke said.
"On the bible," Ash said.
"So, you're gonna be a marine?" Jem asked me.
"That's the plan," I said.
"Wow, that's pretty incredible," he said. "You're, like, our front line and shit."
"Guess so," I said. "So, where're you from?"
"Take a look," Jem said, sticking his arm towards me.
I lifted his wrist up to my eyes. "Jeremy Turner, Human, Biotic," I read aloud. "DOB Jan 8 2159, POB Horizon. Wait, you're biotic?"
"Yeah," Jem said. "Just graduated from Grissom Academy. Me and Luke ship out next week to the Horsehead cluster to keep peace on the borders or whatever. Brass isn't very clear about what our duties will include."
"I'll drink to that," I said, raising my glass.
"Yeah, here's to you, our frontlines," Luke said.
"And here's to our side men," Ash said, laughing slightly. "May they keep our shields strong."
I took another sip of my drink. It gave me a pleasantly warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, as though someone had lit a fire in my belly.
"So how tall are you?" Jem asked me, leaning forwards.
"Four foot eleven," I said. "Don't tell the Alliance officers though. I said I was five foot one and a half."
"No way," Jem said.
"It's true," I said. "They aren't very good if they couldn't tell I was lying though."
"What's it like living on a space ship though?" Jem asked. Behind me Ash cackled at some joke Luke had made.
I shrugged. "I don't know how to describe it," I said. "Crowded, I guess. There's not much space. Not a lot of kids either. Also, the people there are all in the army, so you grow up with a very specific mind set. Why, what's it like growing up on a colony?"
"Well, I don't know how to describe it," Jem said. I raised my eyebrows at him. "Oh, very clever Miss Shepard," he said, grinning.
I smiled and finished my drink. By now I was feeling slightly light headed. "I'll buy you another," Jem said at once, leaping to his feet.
"He's so into you," Ash whispered in my ear. I giggled, quite a shocking sound, since I didn't normally giggle.
"You have such pretty eyes," Jem said, when he returned.
"Thanks," I said, giggling like a loon. "I like yours too."
"And you have a really sexy voice," he continued, pretending not to notice my insanity.
On this I had to agree, my voice is sexy, sort of deep and husky and not at all what you'd expect from a person of my stature.
"So, you have a boyfriend?" he asked, sliding in closer to me and taking my hand.
"No, of course not," I said.
"Why of course not?" he asked in surprise. "You're super-hot. Any man who won't take you is a fool."
"Thanks," I said, giggling some more and chugging down my drink. "I know better though."
"No, come on," Jem said, laughing. "Why do you put yourself down? You're smart, funny, you have a rocking body, and I'd be willing to bet you could kick any guy's ass if he tried something on you."
"Probably," I answered. "When I'm sober."
"Let's dance," Jem suggested.
"Oh, no no no," I said. "You don't want to see me dance."
"Why not?" Jem asked.
"You wouldn't think I have as much of a rocking body if you saw me dance," I said. "I'm really bad."
"It's all in the leading," Jem said. For some reason this sounded strangely familiar. Like I'd read it somewhere before…
Maybe it was the excess of alcohol, but I believed that dancing in his arms would give me a sense of rhythm, so I stumbled onto the dance floor after him.
I woke up in the back alley. I was pinned against the wall, his mouth on mine, his hand inside my bra. Uncertain of where I was or what was happening, confused by the liquor still coursing through me, I turned to instinct, and bit down hard on his tongue. His blood filled my mouth.
"What the fuck?" he shouted thickly.
"Get off of me," I said. He hesitated so I moved my knee. "Get off of me or I'll teach you what the nutcracker's really about," I whispered.
"What, so now you don't want to?" Jem said, putting his hand to his mouth to stem the blood. "You asked me to bring you out here."
"Hey asshole," a voice said from behind him. He turned and Ash punched him hard in the face. "I believe that when a woman says she wants you to get off her, she means it," she said calmly. "Now get out of my sight before I take you down."
"Fucking bitches," Jem shouted, before limping away.
"You ok?" Ash asked me.
I bent and vomited up everything in my stomach. "What the hell happened?" I asked weakly when I was done.
"Did he do anything to you?" Ash asked.
"No, I mean, I'll be fine," I said. The tears running down my cheeks weren't only from the vomiting now. "Why was I out here?" I whispered.
"I don't know," Ash said. "I went to the bathroom. When I came back out, Luke said you had gone outside with Jem. Are you sure you're alright?"
I opened my mouth to answer, and to my horror, burst into loud tears. Ash put her arms around me. "Hey," she said. "You're ok. I broke that fuckface's nose, I think."
I laughed between my tears. "I'm fine," I hiccoughed. "I just-my fucking family is dead, I'm drunk on the Citadel, and, well, I don't like losing control like that."
"I can understand that," Ash said. "Honestly, I thought it'd take more than two cosmopolitans to put you under. Guess you need to build up your tolerance."
I wiped my eyes. "Thanks for looking out for me," I mumbled.
"That's what I'm here for, remember," Ash said. "Besties for life. We swore an oath. Shall we go home? We have a long day ahead of us, and you'll probably have a hang-over when you wake up."
"What time is it?" I asked, looking up at the sky. The Citadel was nothing more than a glorified space station that was not in any kind of orbit. Consequentially it was plunged in constant daylight.
Ash glanced at her omnitool. "About 0356 sol," she said.
"And we need to be up by eight," I groaned. "You'll have to help me back, I'm not feeling too steady at the moment."
I awoke later that morning with the feeling that someone was busy driving a blunt chisel into my skull with the use of a heavy mallet and the physique of a sumo wrestler. I opened my eyes to a bright light that caused the sumo wrestler to strike the chisel with even more verve. I groaned.
"Feeling a little hung-over, are we?" Lee asked unsympathetically.
"Get lost," I mumbled. "What time is it?"
"I believe it's half past eight sol," Lee said. "Your alarm went off. You threw it across the room, rolled over and went back to sleep. I would have woken you up, but on the whole decided you might prefer to die in your sleep."
"Fuck off," I mumbled. "Is Ash up?"
"She came through earlier and agreed with me viz dying in your sleep," Lee said.
I opened my eyes more cautiously. "I'm never having another drink again," I groaned, shielding my eyes.
"Yeah right," Lee answered. "You're joining the marines. The only way to keep sane amongst that lot is to get as pissed as possible as often as possible. Would you like a coffee?"
"I'd die for one," I said.
"Dining room is on the left," Lee said.
"You are a little brat, aren't you?" I asked. I stumbled to my feet and nearly fell down again when the walls swayed alarmingly.
"You alright?" Lee asked unsympathetically.
"No," I mumbled, rushing out the door, my hand over my mouth.
I made it to the toilet just in time for a lovely scalding acid to emerge from my stomach. I washed my mouth out at the tap and examined my face in the mirror. My eyes were redder than a desert sunset, my skin turned even more yellow than usual. I had gone straight to bed after returning from Purgatory, and this and my tears from earlier had caused my make up to make black track marks down my cheeks. I hoped this would all clear up before we reached Rio, I didn't want to be certified before I started my training.
I went back to my room and picked up my toiletries. After showering I was starting to feel more human, and once I had gotten some food and coffee into my body, I was a whole other person.
Jason came into the dining room as I was finishing my last roll up. "Shay," he said. He couldn't say Jane, so he called me Shay. He had called Jean "She", John "Shore", and he referred to himself as "Shane".
"Heya," I said. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah," he said. "Did you go out with Ash?"
"Yeah," I said. "It was crap and now I'm hung-over."
"That's what you get," Jason said sternly.
"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled. "Stop lecturing me kid. Promise that you'll be more sensible than me when you get drunk for the first time."
"Did something happen last night?" Jason asked.
"Well, your sister was stupid," I said. "Just for a change."
He grabbed my hand. "Once a month you get a chance to make a vid call with people outside the academy," he said. "Will you call me?"
"What a stupid question," I said, squeezing his hand. "Of course I will."
"Jane," Ash said from the doorway. "The taxi's here."
"Right," I said. "Let me fetch my duffel."
Lee looked up as I walked into the room. "You off?" she asked.
"Yeah," I answered.
"Great," Lee said. "Finally I get a room to myself."
"I'll miss you too, Lee," I answered. "Good luck with engineering academy."
"Yeah, good luck with being someone that gets paid to kill people," Lee said. She hesitated. "Don't die out there. You weren't a terrible roommate."
I slung my duffel over my shoulder. "The feeling's mutual," I said.
Jason went outside the home with us to where the taxi was waiting. "I'll miss you," he mumbled, squinting his eyes.
I bent and hugged him. "I'll miss you too, kid," I said. "Look after yourself, you hear?"
He nodded, and bumped his chin against my cheek, his version of a kiss. I kissed the top of his forehead, and climbed into the taxi after Ash. I turned in my head as we moved off, and watched my brother disappear behind me.
"He'll be alright," Ash said.
"I know," I said.