This fic was published last year. I just had this edited this month.

Disclaimer: I don't ANY of the characters used for this form of amusement.

Five things Okita didn't. . . .

1. Okita didn't know that every time he talked to his danna, Gintoki, Hijikata would shove his hands in his pockets dejectedly and look away with a disgusted expression. He didn't know how hard Hijikata would chew on his nicotine candy stick because he was busy planning a scheme to humiliate the Vice-commander of the Shinsengumi. Okita didn't bother listening to the silent rambling of his superior about the lazy ass, sweet toothed, enthusiastic nose and earwax digger, and the owner of the pinky of doom and his really funky hygienic practices.

2. Okita didn't see the dark silhouette that moved from outside of the window of the room because he was busy accusing himself of not being a good little brother and holding his sister's cold, waxy hand as her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. Okita didn't notice the familiar smell of nicotine inside the room because he was busy wiping snot from his nose. He didn't realize that above the room was the rooftop where Hijikata Toushiro was eating Mitsuba's favorite super-spicy treat, blaming it for the tears that escaped from his eyes.

3. Okita didn't see the worried expression Hijikata wore whenever he would hang out up on the tree, enjoying the little garden of the Shinsengumi from above. It had been three days since the burial of his sister. The whole Shinsengumi tried not to talk to their captain in fear of following his sister to the other side. Kondo had already offered Okita a two-week's leave, whichhe accepted gratefully.

During the first three days, Okita spent most of his time in his bedroom reliving the happy memories of the past. No one had the guts to knock on his door and tell him when it was time to eat or hit the showers except the Vice-Commander of the Shinsegumi. One week later, Okita was always seen hanging out in the garden, constantly falling asleep in bizarre places like the koi fish pond. He was also seen resting on the back of the extremely pissed Toushiro, who glared at the onlookers and made mental notes to make them commit seppuku later.

Okita didn't hear Hijikata's rambling when he laid him down on the futon gently as possible, hoping not to wake him up.

"Bastard, do you know how long it's been since you last tried to kill me? Do you hate me so much you don't want me to follow your sister? Selfish bastard you are, Sou-chan"

4. Okita didn't listen to Hijikata's command to stop the slaughter, relying on his instincts to engage the escaping smuggler. He brought down the reverse side of the katana full on his head. At the same time, the fiend sank his own knife in Okita's gut, effectively spilling thick, red liquid messily on the ground.

"Ah. You messed up," he said monotonously, pulling out the knife. He firmly held its hilt and slammed it down the smuggler's head. The man fell down in the red puddle, unconscious.

"SOUGO! YOU BASTARD!" Hijikata bellowed, running up to him at full speed. "How dare you disobey my orders!"

"Hijikata-san. . ."

"You messed up big time!"

Okita grasped his sides and groped at his wet coat. The Vice-commander skidded to a halt in front of Okita and saw the horrid picture before him.

"Okita!"

Fear enveloped his being as he fumbled with the coat, ripping it in the process, lifted his undershirt and saw the bottle of Ketchup tucked between his torso and his pants. The bottle had earned a small hole from the knife, cracked and let out the red, runny liquid. Hijikata's heart almost stopped.

"Pfft- haha. . " He rested both hands on the sadist's shoulders, bowed down, and exhaled in relief.

"H-Hijikata-san?" Okita, too, lowered his head, trying to look at Hijikata's face. Hijikata tightened his grip on Okita and shook him. Okita cried out in a deadpan voice, "Aaah."

"Commit seppuku already, Teme!"

5. Okita didn't try to push his superior away when he pinned him against the wall and started whispering death threats in his ear.

"Oi, Okita." Hijikata whispered huskily.

"Yes, Hijikata-san?" Okita replied innocently.

"Why do you want to kill me?" His hand travelled down from Sougo's wet torso to his slim waist where the small towel hung on desperately. Hijikata didn't mind the fact that they were in the deserted Shinsengumi bathroom and that any time someone might walk in. Sougo smirked.

"Because a dead Hijikata Toushiro can't say 'no', Hiikata-san." Okita said flatly. The man chuckled and rested his chin on Okita's shoulder.

"Who told you I'd say 'no'?"

That night, Okita didn't care if he'd just lost the 10% of his initiative to kill Hijikata.